


The Highgarden Holiday

by Muze



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Disabled Character, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Dorks in Love, F/M, Family Dynamics, Get together fic, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, Kissing, Margaery Tyrell is a Good Friend, Modern AU, Modern Westeros, awkward moments, toothrotting shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:53:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 127,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27767044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muze/pseuds/Muze
Summary: Sansa Stark can't go home for Christmas, so her best friend Margaery invites her over to celebrate it with her family. Which includes Margaery's obscenely hot brother Sansa has pined over for years: Willas Tyrell. She won't allow Margaery to play matchmaker but she's seen enough Christmas movies to have her hopes set entirely too high.
Relationships: Leonette Fossoway/Garlan Tyrell, Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Sansa Stark/Willas Tyrell
Comments: 299
Kudos: 202





	1. Chapter 1

‘No no no!’ cried Sansa.

The television reporter didn’t hear her, obliviously continuing to destroy Sansa’s hopes and dreams.

She dramatically dropped down on the leather couch. It was the only couch in the tiny apartment they rented while in college in King’s Landing but it always sufficed. When they had people over there were still plenty of places their friends could sit down or stand while drinking.

Not that they’d had many friends over lately. Their last year of college had been… uncommonly dull. A lot of stress, same amount of deadlines, largest amount of news, and smallest amount of fun. But she supposed everyone’s year had been like that. Pandemic and all.

They’d decided to continue living in their shared apartment, just in case on-campus class continued. It had for a small month, and then things had gone bust again. An awful way to end their great college adventure. But she was lucky, she supposed, she absolutely pitied first years.

‘What is it dearest?’ Margaery asked, gliding in from the bathroom with a towel around her hair.

‘The North’, Sansa moaned.

‘They’re closing the borders again?’ Margaery asked, immediately sitting down beside her.

‘A week before Christmas. _What_ are they thinking?’ Sansa demanded, her sadness transforming into anger.

She paced up and down the living room, stopping right in front of the Christmas tree before turning towards the couch. She scowled at the condescending smile of the Santa Claus hanging above the television. The prick. Was he enjoying the scene?

‘I already bought my ticket! We were all going to be home. I haven’t seen them since summer! We did everything they wanted! Stayed in since March. Skipped Easter. Didn’t see friends. Didn’t travel up and down to our families all the time. Wore our masks. Stopped going to the gym. Only minors were allowed to attend schools and all bars, restaurants, clubs and culture organisations have been closed for the better part of the year. Why this?’

‘Not everyone did that dear. And that’s precisely why. Because they know everyone will be traveling for Christmas, carrying the virus into the airplanes and across the borders, infecting elders’, Margaery explained softly.

Sansa let out a deep breath, watching her friend.

Margaery was chewing her cheek, tapping her foot impatiently as she watched the graphs showing the amount of infections per country on the continent of Westeros.

The Crownlands lit up like a Christmas tree. The conservative but stern Northland had imposed strong lockdown rules regularly, making them the safest country. But understandably, with an older population and a low amount of hospitalisations they weren’t eager to welcome southerners for the winter sport season.

Sansa knew what Margaery was waiting for. The Westeros Union Small Council had agreed to pin down Fridays as official covid-rules-update-day. The new rules of the North had been announced first. Reachium always came second to last before the Principality of Dorne.

‘When are the borders closing in the North?’ Margaery asked as her eyes remained glued to the television.

‘Tonight. I won’t make it. The last plane flies at five past midnight.’

‘Don’t the embassies make sure everyone can get home, like they did in March?’

‘Holiday travellers and such yes, but students have to stay. The Crownland government ensured that all students could stay in their uni rooms, and since students with private accommodations have a permanent place to stay too, they also have no excuse to go home. You need a permit to cross from tomorrow. And otherwise you need a negative covid test taken.’

‘But they only give tests to those who have proof they’ve come in contact with a person who tested positive’, Margaery argued.

‘Yes, which means I have no way of going back. I’m stuck. Oh I had already bought everyone gifts’, Sansa cried, her tears filling up.

She turned around again, but the sight of the Christmas tree made her nauseous.

‘I’ve never spent a Christmas away from home. _Never_. You know how much Christmas means to me Margie! I can’t miss it. It’s the one thing I wanted this year. And grandpa and grandma Stark and granddaddy Hoster aren’t getting younger. They’re in their eighties. Every Christmas could be their last.’

Margaery knew. Sansa was the queen of Winter celebrations. Sansa had dragged in a tree as tall as herself in November of their first year of living together. The closet in their tiny study served solely as a hiding place for all her Christmas decoration. Sansa refused to even so much as open her books on the days of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, despite January being filled with exams.

Sansa stormed towards the kitchen, grabbing the pink bottle of gin off the shelf and ripping open the fridge for the bottle of tonic.

The prime minister of the Crownlands announced that they would only close their borders to Dorne and some countries from Essos, and Sothoryos. The borders with Reachium were still open.

As she took glasses out of cupboard she could hear the news anchor announcing they were switching over to their reporter in Reachium.

After plonking in some ice cubes she went over to the couch, offering Margaery a glass which she took without blinking.

Sansa plopped down on the reading chair, downing half of her glass with one gulp, miserably scrolling through her chatgroup with her family. Robb, Rickon and Bran still lived up North. Arya was studying in Riverland but the borders would only close in three days. She would still make it out in time. Sansa would be the only one missing out.

She knew on a technical level she was acting spoiled. Many people couldn’t see their family. Many had even lost family members to the virus. But they were going to do it so safely. They had already limited their celebration to just the children and the grandparents. And everyone had agreed to go into a two week isolation. Dad, mom, Jon and Robb would work from home for two weeks, and nobody would see anyone, not even for an outside walk.

‘Thank the Seven!’ Margaery let out followed by a sigh of relief.

Reachia wouldn’t close its borders.

‘I’m happy for you’, Sansa said. She forced her voice to sound as cheery as possible.

She knew how much Margaery loved her family. She’d craved seeing them for months as well.

But she would miss her friend.

Last Christmas had been so lovely, and now she would face a Christmas without family, without a boyfriend, and without a friend. At least the bright side was that any Christmas after this one would be bloody perfect in comparison to this one.

Margaery threw her friend a sympathetic look.

‘I’m so sorry for you Sansa.’

‘It’s fine… Nothing to do about it.’

‘No there must be. We can’t just… Let you do Christmas _alone_. Sansa, you deserve Christmas. You’ve been through enough this year.’

Enough like after finally moving on after Joffrey being cheated on by Harry in February? Like the president of another country trying to get under her skirts at a gala in March? Like failing a course because of the toll the first lockdown had taken on her sanity in June? And her grandmother dying in July?

Sansa sighed, taking another sip. There was something off about the taste. The tonic had probably lost its sparkle.

Even a glass of pink fucking gin couldn’t lift her spirits.

Margaery stood to look at her, tapping her nails against her glass of gin tonic.

‘I have to call mom’, Sansa muttered.

Which meant more crying.

She was so over crying. She’d cried enough to fill a pool this year.

‘She watches the news. She knows.’

‘I know, but she’ll want to talk about it. I want to talk about it.’

‘Darling, just take the evening to process your sadness.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘San, you didn’t put in tonic.’

Sansa snapped up, eyes flying to the kitchen. The tonic still stood on the counter, bottle as full as it had been when she took it out of the fridge. She had been distracted.

How hadn’t she noticed?

She took another sip. There wasn't just a lack of sparkles, there were none. She'd put it down to the tonic having been in the fridge for too long. _Wrong_.

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine, you dummy’, Margaery laughed, her eyes still tender and worried.

‘You could come with me.’

‘What? Marge, I can’t just barge in.’

‘You’ve already met them all on several occasions. You're not just a random person joining in.’

‘But covid.’

‘Honey,’ Margaery sighed, bending through her knees so she was eye to eye with Sansa, ‘we live together. Whether you come or not, you and I will breathe the same air until I leave this Sunday. Taking you with me has no added risk at all. You know my family has been very careful as well the last few weeks. You’re safe, and they’re safe.’

‘I thought your family was keeping it small this year. Which means no friends.’

The Tyrells usually had the largest fancy society party on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, reserving the days after for extended family dinners. She’d joined Margaery for a New Year once, because she’d simply been too curious to find out what a ball with all the influential nobles of the Reach looked like. The Tyrells had welcomed her with open arms, even to the family dinner the day after, which she’d sat out with her first ever hangover, pushing and prodding at the most succulent looking deer ever with no appetite at all.

‘We _are_ keeping it small. Every child is only allowed to bring their partner.’

‘But I’m not your partner.’ Contrary to what some people had assumed many times over the years.

‘No, but if Garlan can bring Leonette and Loras can bring Renly, I can bring you. You’re my roommate and best friend San. Mom will doubtlessly agree, especially when she hears you can’t see your own family.’

‘She would?’

‘Of course. Even grandmother would be glad to see you again. And she’ll probably threaten to beat everyone with her cane if they disagree.’

Margaery’s smile grew as she laid her hand on Sansa’s knee, activating the full Tyrell charm offensive.

‘It’ll be fun.’

‘I’m not sure.’ Although the option was incredibly attractive. The Tyrells were amazing, every single one. She knew if anyone knew how to have a good time and make her forget she was missing out on her own family party, it was the Tyrells. And their wine cellar was top notch.

‘I could try setting you up with Willas again’, Margaery offered, her voice turning teasing.

Sansa batted Margaery’s hand away, recognizing the dangerous glint in her friend’s eyes.

‘No you won’t! Drop it Marge, it’s been years.’

Brown curls and brown eyes appeared in her memory as sharp as they’d been on the day it happened. Her lips still tingled now that she thought of it. The smallest slice of heaven she’d ever gotten.

‘Years and you still blush like a virgin whenever I say his name.’

‘Because you make such a big thing out of it.’

Margaery tutted, rolling her eyes.

‘Suit yourself then. I’ll find someone else to invest my excellent matchmaking skills in.’

‘Yourself?’ Sansa suggested.

‘Tsk, ridiculous. I’m not done playing yet.’

‘And how well is casual dating working out for you this year?’

‘Sansa, tone down the sarcasm. It isn’t becoming.’

‘Sorry.’

Margaery nodded, standing up and downing the remainder of her gin.

‘So, Highgarden?’

Sansa nodded meekly.

It wasn't even a choice. She couldn't be alone on Christmas, especially when such a lovely offer was dangled right in front of her.

‘Lovely, I’ll call mommy.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sansa and Margaery ride to Highgarden with Garlan. Sansa thinks back on her past interactions with Willas.

_That night Sansa was back at the ancestral seat of House Tyrell again._

_She stood beside Margaery, who looked stunning in a tight black dress decorated with golden roses on top and an incredible thigh high split. She’d met Margaery on a camp some years ago, but it was only during her first year of college their friendship had become strong enough to warrant an invite to the most glamorous of all New Year’s parties. All Tyrells had gathered at the estate to go to the party venue together in limousines, they were just awaiting one more person._

_She’d never met him, but she’d heard and read plenty about him and was incredibly nervous to meet him._

_Margaery was going over a list of people Sansa was supposed to meet, but her eyes were drawn to the window, where a bright red Lamborghini drove past. Seconds later he walked in wearing the most delicious three piece suit she’d ever seen. The pictures hadn’t done him justice._

_Willas Tyrell, golden child of the family, millionaire, and formula one prodigy. Known as much for his record on the tracks as off, jogged in with careless grace._

_The room lit up at his entrance, all drawn to the light he emitted with his thousand watt smile._

_Sansa watched the man hug and kiss his way through his relatives, before halting in front of her. Despite her height that put her inches above most women, and her heels, he still towered over her, and his shoulders easily two times as broad as her._

_‘Willas, this is my dear friend Sansa, Arch Duchess of Winterfell. Sansa, my brother Willas, marquis of Highgarden’_

_‘Friend?’ he asked, his gaze darting to Margaery before turning back to Sansa to aim his smile at her._

_As she looked up at him she felt all her organs shut down. When he bent down to kiss her his spicy perfume attacked her senses. It took all her strength not to lose balance when he retreated._

_‘A pleasure to meet you.’_

_And just like that, she’d lost her heart to a man she barely met, who was completely unaware that he walked to the limousine with her heart in his pocket._

_She couldn’t take her eyes off him that night, watching him dance in a circle of incredibly beautiful models, sportsmen, influencers, lords and heiresses and kiss someone she didn’t know at midnight. She tried not to let it get to her though, giggling with Margaery, slamming back shots with Garlan’s girlfriend Leonette and popping bottles of champagne at midnight._

_Many hours ticked by before Sansa decided she needed a breather, entering the garden behind the venue decorated with an obscene amount of multi-coloured lights and deer and santa light installations. Sitting down in a bird nest swing, she kicked off her heels before tucking her sore feet under her legs to keep warm._

_Clouds were gathered above the thick line of juicy orange on the horizon. She couldn’t believe it was dawn already. It was January, which meant the sun only came up… She didn’t know but it was late. She’d never taken the time to see the sun rise before, so she decided to sit down and enjoy._

_‘How’s it hanging?’_

_Sansa froze, suddenly very aware of how infantile she must look sitting on a swing in a periwinkle blue dress._

_‘Bit wobbly, if I need to be honest’, she answered, too afraid to turn around._

_‘Might I take a swing at it?’_

_She let out a laugh, put at ease by the horrible humour._

_‘Sure.’_

_She tried to get out of the swing, but one of her feet caught in her skirt. She threw out her arms but never hit the ground, instead she was caught in a set of strong arms and put back into the swing._

_Looking up, her hero turned out to be no one less than Willas Tyrell._

_‘Hey, careful now.’_

_Her cheeks burned with embarrassment._

_‘I’m sorry, clumsy.’_

_‘It’s fine. You didn’t have to get out.’_

_Sansa skidded to the side, sitting down on the edge to make space for him, looking up with an apologetic smile._

_He reeked of perfume and indoor smoking. She supposed she did as well, but she’d been outside for so long the scent had somewhat worn off._

_‘Coming out to breathe as well?’_

_‘Yeah. It’s annoyingly hot in there.’_

_‘Yeah’, Sansa affirmed, shivering as she was reminded of the inside warmth. She’d been outside for over twenty minutes and the cold had seeped deep into her skin._

_‘You’re cold.’_

_‘It’s fine’, she smiled, her body ignoring her and shivering as she spoke._

_With an easy smile he shrugged off his blazer and wrapping it around her._

_His heat was still trapped in it, she could just melt._

_‘I thought Northerners were used to the cold’, he teased. ‘There’s barely any snow out here.’_

_‘We are, guess that’s why they kicked me out. What kind of self-respecting Northerner can’t bear to chill in the snow in a sleeveless dress for half an hour?’_

_‘Kicked you out?’ he asked, his smile still wide but the look in his eyes slightly worried._

_‘Just a joke. I moved to King’s Landing to study on my own accord.’_

_‘Ah, what do you do? Same as Marg?’_

_‘No, but same faculty. Literature.’_

_Willas nodded, looking away towards the sky._

_Sansa took the opportunity to breathe again and collect her thoughts. Sport legend and one of Westeros’ most desirable bachelors was sitting on a swing with her. She wouldn’t get such an opportunity again anytime soon._

_She looked up at the sky as well. The clouds were turning pink._

_‘The birds are waking up’, she noticed softly._

_‘The dawn chorus.’_

_‘What?’_

_Willas chuckled, sending her heart skipping again. ‘It’s what they call the singing of the birds early in the morning. It’s been a while since I heard it. Either I’m sleeping, still up somewhere inside, or in the city.’_

_‘Now that you mention it, I haven’t heard it as often in King’s Landing.’_

_As they spoke another type of chirping joined in._

_‘That’ll be the robins’, he smiled._

_‘You recognise that?’_

_‘We’re nature lovers in Highgarden. Don’t forget we’ve taken over from the unironically named Gardener kings’, he smirked. ‘The higher the bird sits, the sooner it receives light and the sooner it begins to sing.’_

_‘Oh I never knew’, she muttered. She was taken aback by the random bits of knowledge. To her knowledge he hadn’t studied, instead having gone straight to the tracks to become the first ever pilot winning two world titles within five years._

_‘I love the colours’, she tried instead to keep the conversation going. Her hand toyed with the golden rose pinned to his breast pocket._

_‘Know what causes it?’_

_She didn’t. She was sure she’d seen it in geography at school, but she’d completely forgotten. She was so not going to impress him. Well, if she couldn’t impress him, she could at least try to flatter him._

_‘No, what causes it?’_

_‘The lower the sun is on the horizon, the more air it passes through. More atmosphere means more molecules scatter the blue light we normally see in the sky. So we don’t notice the blue, but the colours with longer wavelengths do reach your eyes. Mostly yellows, oranges and reds. That’s why the sun so often looks red when it’s right on the horizon’, he explained, turning around to look at her. His light brown eyes were simply glowing in the warm morning light._

_A smile broke through on his face. Her breath caught in her throat_

_‘I’m sorry, I’m nerding out on you.’_

_‘No, I’m interested’, she rushed to confirm._

_His hand reached out, taking her hair between his fingers._

_‘It looks almost like fire in this light’, he muttered with an airy laugh. ‘Is it…’_

_‘My own hair colour.’_

_‘Wow. Margaery does always manages to find the prettiest girlfriends.’_

_Was he calling her pretty?_

_‘Friend. We’re just friends’, Sansa corrected._

_His eyes darted back up to hers._

_‘Oh’, he said in the most meaningful way._

_‘I haven’t wished you a happy New Year yet, haven’t I?’ he asked, a rakish smile pulling at his lips._

_‘Not yet’, Sansa answered softly, her own smile growing in response._

_She had always wondered what pushed people to have one night stands. It was absolutely unfathomable to her how someone could fall for another, confess their feelings, and bare themselves to them in a matter of hours. Followed by being fine with never getting to do it again. But she felt she understood the key principle now, as she looked in his eyes. She would be happy with any part of him she could get, no matter how small._

_‘Happy 2016, Sansa Stark.’_

_‘Happy New Year to you too’, she smiled, sitting straighter as he bent towards her._

_His breath smelled like a liquor cabinet, and she doubted she was faring any better, but the kiss itself was perfect. His lips were soft, his palm against her cheek was warm, and in that instant, she felt like the most cherished lucky girl on earth._

‘Sansa it’s almost ten. Get up you lazy ass! Garlan is picking us up in less than an hour’ Margaery called from behind the door.

Sansa shot up, panting.

It was the fourth Sunday of advent in 2020. Amazing how four years and two boyfriends later the dream still had this effect on her. She shoved the blankets off of her, throwing open the windows to let the cold winter wind blow away the memories of her first kiss.

_Don’t be silly Stark, it was just a kiss. A single kiss. Don’t get your hopes up. He never did it again when you saw him afterwards._

When she saw him next he treated her as if nothing had ever happened. He didn’t even remember her name. Granted, he had gotten into a car crash followed by a three month coma not a week later. It had been the end of his short but illustrious career. Shooting straight to the first place of non-lethal racing accidents had been his last act as a pilot. The memory of their kiss had just crashed and burned somewhere on that circuit.

She opened the twentieth square of her Christmas calendar, popping in a piece of chocolate to kickstart her day. Chewing on it as she turned back towards her back.

Margaery was a last minute packer, and for some reason she assumed Sansa was as well. But there had been no need for Sansa to wake up early, everything was ready. She’d packed some of her beloved Christmas sweaters, but the ridiculous part of her still wanted to look good for the fashionable Tyrells. A suitcase filled with outfits for every occasion including swimming and horse riding, a bag filled with small gifts – credit to fast delivery online shops – to thank the Tyrells for taking her in, a backpack with her laptop, notebooks and chargers, another bag with study books and finally, only her toilet case wasn’t filled yet. But that was because she still needed her beauty products.

She moved to the bathroom, quickly washing and brushing before she moved onto her make-up, making sure to put shimmering white shadow, stark black liner and concealer on, rubbing some tinted lip balm on her cheeks and lips.

Margaery walked in, spitting out her toothpaste. She always walked around while brushing her teeth, another sign of her trademark impatience.

‘Making an effort aren’t we?’ Margaery smiled.

‘I always put on winged liner’, Sansa answered.

‘I know, but we’re just stuck in the car all day’, Margaery replied, throwing her head forward to put her long curls into a high ponytail.

‘Says the person sporting a full make-up tutorial for online class’, Sansa shot back.

‘But that’s different, I’m seeing people then. This is just family. As a matter of fact I’ve already packed a face mask for in the car’, her friend admitted.

‘We’ll have time to clean up before dinner, if you’re worried about Willas seeing you with frizzy hair’, Margaery winked.

‘I’ll murder you the second that face mask obscures your sight.’

‘Ha!’ Margaery laughed as she walked out of the bathroom ‘It has eyeholes. Good luck.’

Garlan was an excellent horseman who still rode professionally, but also represented the Westerosi Horse Association. He had come to the Crownlands, he explained in the car, to ask a Westerosi sport relief platform for added funds, since many riding schools struggle to pay their bills during the pandemic.

Sansa felt like she knew him best of the three brothers, as he was easy to conversation and laughter. They had a pleasant conversation in the front while Margaery caught some more sleep in the back, after having awoken at seven to start packing her trunks.

‘I’m sorry that the one time you join us has to be this year. Our celebrations this year are a lot more tame than usual.’

‘I know, Margaery and I’ve talked about our holidays in the past. But honestly, they’ll be infinitely better than being stuck in King’s Landing alone.’

‘That’s for sure’, Garlan laughed. ‘And a great deal more interesting too. We haven’t even all arrived and we’ve already had some drama.’

Sansa perched up in her seat.

‘How so, nothing too bad I hope?’

‘Oh no. Just eh… Can you keep a secret?’

‘I’ll be silent as the grave.’

Garlan turned to try and look at his sister.

‘She still asleep?’

‘Mhm.’

‘Good, because she’s a gossip. If she knows, so does everyone else.’

Sansa nodded, hanging onto his words.

‘So you know Leonette and I have been together for quite a few years now…’

‘Oh Mother above!’ Sansa squealed. Garlan’s eyes grew wide. She quickly turned around to check on Margaery before continuing, voice huffed. ‘are you going to ask for her hand?’

‘I am. So I asked Loras whether he wanted to help me pick out a ring. He agreed and not an hour later I got a call from Renly.’

Garlan paused dramatically, grin growing.

‘What about?’

‘The fucker immediately demanded to know when I planned on asking her. So I told him and then he started yelling how I couldn’t do that because then I’d ruin his moment because apparently he’d decided to ask Loras on Christmas Eve.’

‘Oh my God! So what did you do?’

‘Tell him that by right of seniority and relationship length I could go first.’

‘I doubt anyone would accept that as a reason not to propose.’

‘You’re right.’

‘So then what?’

‘We agreed to solve it like grown-ups.’

‘Meaning?’

‘We played a game of cards with the stakes being an engagement on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve.’

‘And did you get it?’

Garlan took his time to answer, singing along with Ariana Grande’s Christmas song.

‘Garlan?’

‘No. Because I’m an idiot and forgot the Baratheons own a collection of nightclubs including ones with casinos meaning Renly won with embarrassing ease.’

‘Oh no.’

‘Oh well, New Year’s Eve is fine, I suppose. It has something nice to enter the new year engaged. Going out of this shitty year with an absolute banger. Some New Year’s Kiss I’ll get’, he laughed.

‘It does sound rather nice’, Sansa admitted. ‘Although it would have also been nice to share an engagement date.’

Garlan frowned, mouth falling open.

‘Of course a woman would think of that while we men were too busy fighting to consider that possibility.’

Sansa giggled.

‘I wonder if Loras would be willing to share a date though.’

‘You know your brother best. But it is just an engagement, not a wedding. That I’m sure he wouldn’t want to share.’

‘Yeah, he loves attention that one’, Garlan smirked.

‘I’ll come back to that’, Garlan decided.

Their conversation ended, they hummed along with the radio for a while before Sansa gathered her thoughts.

‘Hey Garlan. Would you be fine with me spilling some water? Only a little?’

‘Uhm… Do I want to know why?’

‘I said I was going to kill Margaery in her sleep, but since that’s not really very Christmas spirit-y of me, I figured I could just sprinkle some water on her.’

‘Ah’, he grinned. ‘I always wondered what such a sweet innocent girl was doing with my sister. But there’s some mischief in you after all. By all means.’

‘I just felt I had to warn you, since this is your car and she might scream. Wouldn’t want us to get into an accident.’

‘I’m used to the background noise of siblings killing each other Sansa, I won’t even blink.’

Margaery awoke with a screech ten seconds later.

Although Highgarden looked nothing like any of the scary gothic castles from Sansa’s favourite guilty pleasure books and movies, the mixture of nerves, fear and excitement in her belly was the exact same one that resided in the main heroines.

She wondered what the next two weeks would bring. If her life was a Hallmark movie she’d come out on the other side her life forever altered and a man on her side. But this was real life. Besides, she had two papers to write and three exams to study for. She couldn’t spend all her days chasing after a five year old dream.

The car was parked. While Sansa tried to juggle as many bags as possible, Margaery sprinted to the door with only her handbag. A pang of sadness hit her. She would have been just like that had she gone home.

‘Let me take one’, Garlan offered, easily picking up her heavy bag of books in his free hand before walking over to the front door. Sansa smiled gratefully, dragging the remainder of her stuff towards the front door.

Two blue spruces decorated with green and gold graced the sides of the huge door. A story foot high tree decorated with silver and black stood in the hallway, fitting in with the white and black chequered floor. Garlands hung around the elegant marble staircase and around some of the paintings. Sansa dropped her bags with a sigh. Highgarden had always been a particularly beautiful castle. The perfect blend of all the ages that had come to pass.

Christmas music was coming from somewhere down the hall, accompanied by the barking of a dog. Margaery’s voice grew louder, underscored by the ticking of heels against stone.

Sansa quickly brushed her fingers through her hair, willing herself to look presentable by the time Alerie and Margaery appeared.

‘Sansa, dear, good to see you again. I’m glad to have you over’, the woman smiled.

‘Lady Tyrell, thank you for having me. I know it was last minute and that it was supposed to be a family holiday.’

Sansa couldn’t stop fidgeting with the straps of her bag. She didn’t know if offering a hand or a kiss would be appropriate this year, even though Margaery currently had her arm slung around her mother.

Alerie nodded and kept her distance. No touch required then.

‘Alerie will do Sansa. Please, I’ve known you since you were what was it? Fifteen? You’ve been such a good friend to Margaery over the years. And since you two are living together I know you’ve done your best to stay safe.’

‘Well, we’re both single. So we haven’t seen anyone in weeks. Very safe and sensible’, Sansa smiled awkwardly.

‘I do feel sorry for you girls, it can’t have been evident to date in such a year. I’m happy you still have each other though, otherwise you poor dears would have been all isolated. I don’t know how Willas manages all by himself, nobody to share a meal with or anything.’

There his name was already. Sansa tried smile without looking nervous, but Margaery’s grin wasn’t helping the feeling of fear in her stomach.

‘Yes. I don’t know how I would manage without Sansa to keep me company’, Margaery smiled sweetly.

‘I’ve already got a room prepared for you. The usual one.’

‘Thank you, I’m really grateful.’

‘Now, why don’t you two freshen up for dinner? Drinks in an hour, dinner will be served half an hour later’, Alerie smiled.

Sansa nodded.

Margaery hopped back outside to get her bags while Sansa started dragging her stuff upstairs. The past couple of years whenever she stayed over she’d always gotten the same guest room close to Margaery’s room. But since she had Garlan’s and Loras’ rooms on either side, Sansa was right across Margaery’s door, in the room next to Willas. But he’d rarely been at home when she was over. Only once.

The room was still as she remembered it, a combination of clean white walls and oakwood panels and oaken furniture of at least two centuries old. She dropped her bags and immediately started unpacking. Best to get it over with immediately.

She started stacking her book, laptop and notes for tomorrow on her desk, and put the rest away in the desk as she dreamt away to a previous stay.

_‘Oh.’_

_Sansa froze where she sat, her back leaning against the wall not too far from the grand staircase. The garden party had been too loud and crowded and she’d needed space. Every noise made her jump. Every cling of glass against glass sounded like a slap. And every blond haired man with his back towards her turned into a Joffrey. She’d barely been with him for four months, but it was the quickest escalation from a dream into a nightmare, and just like any serious nightmare it lingered long after it was done, making her uneasy even when she had no objective reason to be._

_Willas stood in front of the gaping door of his bedroom, supported by crutches. She hadn’t seen him since New Year’s. He’d changed. Of course he had. She knew, Margaery had been updating her but she didn’t see him until now._

_She’d hoped their second meeting would be when she was radiating happiness and ease, instead of him awkwardly bumping into her as she was about to break down._

_Her heartbeat picked up, eyes hungrily drinking in every detail of his face she’d forgotten in the months since._

_‘Are you… Alright?’ he asked softly. Of course he would ask that, he didn’t know Sansa was staying over. She could just be a party guest._

_‘Yes, just taking a breather, it’s a bit overwhelming downstairs and there’s not a single private space there’, she smiled._

_‘I see’, he nodded, readjusting his weight with a grimace. ‘Hosting big parties runs in the family’, he added with a smile that was meant to be joyful but fell flat._

_Sansa knew he hadn’t hosted or attended a single party since the accident. He’d been home ever since the accident, where his family could help him out. She wondered if there was a reason he skipped out on them. He could just sit on the couch downstairs. He was Willas Tyrell, people would flock to him naturally. They always did._

_‘I’m Willas Tyrell.’_

_‘I know’, Sansa answered. They knew each other already. Why was he saying this?_

_Willas waited for an instant, gaze growing unsure._

_‘This would be where you in… introduce yourself.’_

_‘I’m Sansa Stark?’ she questioned._

_From the way his face remained blank, it was clear her name meant nothing to him. She could just die. She’d kissed him for heaven’s sake. He’d been her first kiss. She’d spent months fantasizing about meeting him again. About picking up where they’d left off. But he’d been drinking and had been kissing others that night. It had been silly of her to think she meant anything to him._

_‘Did… we… meet?’ he asked slowly, every word pronounced carefully as if they didn’t come easily to him. She realized that every word had sounded careful._

_‘We did. At New Year’s?’ she reminded._

_Only belatedly, she remembered Margaery had told her that after he’d awoken from his coma he’d had to relearn a lot, and talking had been difficult as well. Memory and focus problems as well. She vowed to be slower._

_‘Ah’, Willas nodded as he went to lean against the wall._

_His entire frame appeared smaller and more fragile. Gone was the swaggering walk, the broad shoulders and proud figure. It was unfair how fate had stolen that from him. But it was still him._

_‘I had an… accident. The time around that is… vague’, he replied. ‘I am sorry I don’t… remember… you.’_

_‘It’s nothing. I’m sorry for reminding you of it. I’m a friend of Margaery’s.’_

_‘From King’s uhm, landing?’_

_‘We study at the same faculty now, but we have known each other for some years now.’_

_‘Yet I don’t … know you?’ he questioned._

_She chewed her cheek, weighing whether she should answer with honesty._

_‘You weren’t around a lot. When I came over.’_

_He nodded slowly, looking her over as if he was looking for clues in her face that might indicate he’d met her before._

_‘I suppose I was quite… absent, before’, he smiled with a shrug._

_‘You had more important and exciting places to be’, Sansa smiled._

_And then she doubted herself. Was that a good thing to remind him of? How pleasant and full his life had been before. Luckily he smiled. Sansa let out a small sigh of relief._

_‘Exciting yes’, he smiled, his lovely warm voice paused between every syllable. ‘But important? No. In the end…’_

_He took a breath, pondering where to take his sentence next. She could see him sucking in his cheek. A stubble had grown on his face. It definitely wasn’t unattractive. He looked at her again, and she felt caught in the act of staring. She managed a small smile._

_‘In the end’, he repeated, detaching himself from the wall. He put his hands on his crutches again, moving closer towards her before struggling to get down, his bad leg with the ruined knee outstretched as he slid down against the wall._

_How queer it was that leg could ail him so. It looked like just any other, covered in slightly baggy jeans and his feet in black socks. If it weren’t for the crutches he could pass as perfectly fine._

_‘In the end my career is over, and my family was there to uhm catch me. All these parties an fun… eng- eng… things… they were meaningless. Just like… so many connections. So. Not more important, no’, he decided._

_Sansa nodded. ‘You have a lovely family.’_

_‘I do. You know them, aside from Margaery?’_

_‘Yes. I was at the New Year’s Day lunch.’_

_‘Oh.’_

_She could see his face closing off as his memory again failed him. He didn’t know a thing about her._

_Our kiss was as real as a tree falling in an empty forest, Sansa thought. And during such a serious conversation, little chemistry could be created. She felt mercenary for wanting to jump his pants when he was so clearly struggling with himself. But she couldn’t help it. She felt like every morsel of information she got out of him only further added to her desire to know him romantically. A family man? That just ticked another box._

_‘Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it. A car crash is a good excuse to not remember everything.’_

_‘I used to be the… it sounds bad… the brother with brains. Surprising, given my career’, he laughed as he looked at her. Sansa smiled back. It didn’t bother her at all he talked slowly, his voice was as warm, rich and refined as what she imagined black coffee to taste like. Unfortunately, she wasn’t a coffee person so she couldn’t be sure. But she liked coffee scent in perfume, that counted for something, right?_

_‘So it bothers me… to have… uhm… my brain abandon me.’_

_‘No leg, no brain. Nothing.’ And his voice had the bitter bite of black coffee that she remembered from the few times she’d tried it._

_‘That’s just because you’ve been in a coma. It will definitely get better. And your leg could as well.’_

_Willas snorted. ‘Better but never normal again. Everyone… keeps telling me I’ll be fine. But… it is hard I guess, to know at twenty-three, that until I die in forty or fifty years, I will have a… uhm…. Dysfunctional leg. They don’t relate.’_

_‘No, that’s true. We don’t know what it’s like. It must be hard.’_

_She looked away, and noticed the tension had disappeared from her shoulders, her stress abated by the distraction._

_‘I have brother. Bran’, she started, smiling at the memory of him. ‘Second youngest. A real lively one, that. Always racing around the home, devouring every fantasy book he could get his hands on… and just a big ball of energy. He demanded stelts for one Christmas, a bike with one wheel for his birthday and so on. And he was always climbing everything. Trees, ladders, even our home. Winterfell is old, so by digging his fingers and toes in the cracks between the stones he could climb whole towers.’_

_She let out a breath._

_‘Seven years ago, when he was eight and my father’s friend came by on a visit, he suddenly fell, one day’, she continued, biting her lip._

_‘He broke his leg?’ Willas asked softly._

_‘His back. Could never walk again. They said he was – Gods, who says that to a child? – lucky he broke his back where he did. Because he could’ve been crippled from the neck down. They said he was lucky to still control his arms and stomach and so on.’_

_Willas remained silent._

_‘And here I am, complaining I injured one leg while willingly and knowingly being in a… high-risk profession.’_

_‘You have every right to complain. Your life is changed. I always find it so awful when people start telling stories for some kind of who-has-it-worse Olympics. When has that ever made someone feel better about their problems?’ Sansa smiled._

_‘No, I just meant… he had a really rough time… for years. He couldn’t play with other kids anymore, didn’t get to do a lot of the stuff he loved anymore. But in the end – Oh I wanted to say he got back on his legs, but that’s an awful thing to say isn’t it? – he found new things to love. Other things to do with friends. And now he’s started college two years early. The advantage to being home-schooled and running through everything he had to learn I guess?’_

_Willas had to laugh, sending her heart racing._

_‘Unfortunately I’ve done my university thing. Have to find something else to do. But I do feel like I should be able to manage at least equally well as an eight year old child who got a worse predicament.’_

_‘You’ve been to university?’ Sansa asked, too surprised to consider that may have sounded rude._

_‘Applied Economics and Business Economics. Enrolled as a professional sporter and spread it out a bit, finished last semester. Did almost everything from home. Didn’t advertise it a lot’, he explained.’_

_‘Surely you can do something with that? If you want of course.’_

_‘I’m thinking about it. Hypothetical of course. I won’t have time to do something professionally for a while still.’_

_‘I’m sure you’ll do something wonderful.’_

_As soon as she said it she regretted the words. She didn’t know him. It sounded too positive, too personal._

_Luckily their conversation was cut off by the appearance of Margaery on top of the staircase._

_‘San- Willas! My. I’m not interrupting am I?’ she asked, swaying ever so slightly on her feet._

_‘No!’ Sansa replied quickly, jumping upright._

_‘I just came upstairs for a breather and Willas just so happened to be in the hallway.’_

_‘Aha… I was about to get my polaroid. I want to take some pictures’, Margaery explained, her eyes gleaming as she looked between her brother and her friend._

_‘I’ll help you look’, Sansa quickly offered._

_‘Good, I’m shit at finding stuff.’_

_Luckily Margaery bent down to help Willas upright, Sansa wasn’t sure if it would have been a welcome offer coming from her. She offered him a tiny smile before following Margaery to her room._

One interrupted conversation had been the beginning of all Margaery’s teasing. And she hadn’t been able to get her mind off of it ever since. Margaery only found more reasons why Sansa should date her brother. But despite Margaery’s teasing, nothing ever happened.

By the time Sansa was done reminiscing, all her stuff had been unpacked and she’d put on her evening clothes.

‘Sansa, ready?’ Margaery asked, knocking on Sansa’s door.

‘I think so’, she admitted as she turned in front of the mirror.

The door creaked as Margaery opened it.

‘It’s too much red, isn’t it?’ Sansa asked, looking at her red blouse, black miniskirt and red panty. It would have looked good if she hadn’t had red hair.

‘Nonsense, it looks wonderful’, Margaery protested, coming up behind her.

‘Are you going to leave your blouse buttoned up to the highest?’ she asked, looking critically at the modest lace Peter Pan collar. 

‘Yes, I’m wearing a miniskirt, I can’t have my boobs out.’

‘Suit yourself. It looks fine Sansa. And if you put on your black suede boots it will be more balanced, as much red as black on your outfit’, Margaery comforted her.

‘Oh, you’re right.’

The boots would do nicely.

‘Perhaps some red lipstick? Then you have black and red on your face as well. And it does emphasize the fullness of your lips’, she teased.

‘Marg!’

‘Hey, just saying! I’m not telling you to draw Willas’ attention, I’m just talking aesthetically’, she grinned.

‘Marg! Keep it down’, Sansa hushed.

‘No worries Sansa, he’s downstairs already. Won’t hear us.’

‘Ah, finally ready to deign us with your presence?’ Loras asked as Margaery skipped into the living room in her emerald leather dress.

Margaery ran to hug her brother.

‘You’re just jealous you weren’t the one to enter fashionably late’, Margaery laughed.

‘Happy holidays, Sansa’, Renly said, following his boyfriend.

‘You too’, Sansa smiled. ‘When did you get here?’

‘Some two hours ago, we decided to go horse riding at twilight. Had to come home in the dark but it was fun.’

Sansa nodded.

‘You ride too, don’t you?’

‘Sometimes. Haven’t done a lot of it in the past few years since I wasn’t home a lot’, she admitted as she glanced around the room.

Mace was talking to Willas and Garlan, and Leonette and Alerie were happily chattering on the couch in front of the fire.

With surprise she noticed he wore the same colours as her.

 _Meant to be_ , a voice sung in her head.

 _Stay calm, it’s two of the most basic colours to wear in winter ever,_ a second voice said soberly. Sansa tore her eyes away from his gleaming beard and glossy curls.

Leonette just so happened to look up, happily waving Sansa over.

‘I’ll be making my round of obligatory polite hello’s then’, she decided.

‘Off you go’, Renly agreed.

‘Sansa, hi!’ Leonette smiled. ‘Champagne?’

She waved towards the magnum bottle in the elegant glass cooler.

‘Sure’, Sansa smiled, sitting down on the armrest as Leonette reached for a glass. The ladies had hogged a tray of oven appetizers.

‘How are you, you’re still doing… What was it again? Political Communication right? Last year?’

‘Yes’, Sansa confirmed, accepting the glass she offered and taking an appetizer with her other.

‘It’s going well. Final series of exams, then it’s just my thesis. But I already have a job. I hope I can combine it.’

‘A job? Do tell!’

‘I’ll be in the communication team of the minister of education on the Small Council.’

‘Oh my’, Alerie said, nodding appreciatively.

‘Oh how exciting! That’s top level politics. You will stay in King’s Landing then, after your studies?’

‘I’ll be travelling a lot for talks with all ministers of education of the substates. But I’ll mostly be in King’s Landing, yes. Of course, with covid, i’ll be working from home. Which is nice as it leaves me more room to work on my thesis.’

Leonette nodded excitedly.

‘I propose a game!’ cried Margaery, quickly drawing the attention back to her while she went to stand in the middle of the room.

‘Let’s each make up a name for someone else in this room, historical figures, and then we’ll have to guess who we are while we finish our drinks. A little bit of a fun family activity.’

Sansa’s gaze slid beyond Margaery, finding Willas’.

She offered a small smile in greeting, receiving an amused one back.

Her stomach coiled itself into a knot.

This was going to be a very hard next two weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lynn to Lynn after the second chapter; oh, we're doing quite well aren't we. Finally making two consecutive chapters with a normal word count.  
> Lynn when seeing the word count of the third chapter: And we're back to business

The next morning Margaery ran into her room, blasting Mariah Carey so loudly Sansa was afraid the entire set of Love Actually would appear in her room. Instead Margaery mercilessly tore open the curtains and _stole_ Sansa’s twenty-first chocolate.

‘That’s the second time you’ve woken me up. One more time and I’ll have to kill you’, Sansa grumbled.

‘It’s revenge for yesterday.’

‘Revenge? I was the one taking revenge for you teasing me.’

‘Welcome into the circle of violence’, Margaery winked as she dropped onto Sansa’s bed. ‘You should be proud of me, I woke up just to wake you up. I don’t have that kind of discipline to take revenge on just about anybody.’

‘Where was that attitude for Joffrey?’ Sansa growled.

‘I waited until I had enough tea on him and then I cancelled him Sansa, nobody who was anyone wanted to have anything to do with him anymore. And that’s before he went to jail for killing that escort.’

Margaery sighed. ‘But Sansa really, we’re not going to think of ugly blond dicks during the holidays? I woke you up because there’s such fun to be had today.’

‘Fun? You call studying fun?’

‘One, you admitted to enjoying the peace of studying compared to the chaos of deadline season. Second, no that wasn’t what I was talking about. This is the day we traditionally hold our gingerbread house competition, and now that we’re all home, elf on the shelf begins.’

‘Competition?’

‘Well, it isn’t really a competition since the men except for Willas suck at it. But it’s a fun time occupation for some hours.’

‘Oh, I think I can manage that. And the elf thing?’

‘Mommy and dad always do elf on the shelf, even now we’re adults. Whoever finds the elf on the shelf first gets a bottle of gin. Every day. Loras got all five bottles last year’, Margaery explained. ‘Figured we could share?’

Sansa nodded dazedly.

‘So finding an elf?’

‘Yeah, you know, about a teacup tall, slim, dressed in red, cheeky smile. He’s around the house somewhere, downstairs in the public rooms. Perhaps he’s already found, I don’t know. So will you help?’

‘Alright.’

‘Good. And I was wondering whether we could make dinner tonight? Nothing too ambitious, since then mommy will know you were the one making food instead of me. But I wanted to show her I could manage making nice food instead of going for take-out.’

‘Oh… Okay.’

After last night’s poached salmon the bar for a Tyrell family dinner was quite high, and she didn’t want to come across as a typical student serving rudimentary pasta.

‘You have anything in mind?’

‘I just woke up. Ask me once my brain’s awoken.’

‘I’m thinking pasta?’

‘No.’

‘Hm, pasta pesto?’

‘No.’

‘Chilli?’

‘Do they eat that?’

‘Sure, I guess’, Margaery shrugged. Then her face turned contemplative. ‘My brothers probably, mom and dad never served it.’

Sansa couldn’t imagine the Queen of Thorns holding a burrito or being satisfied with such a thing.

‘Indian?’ Sansa suggested. At least that sounded impressive, much as it was just an hour of letting things simmer on the stove for two hours.

‘Won’t mother ask me to name the spices? And then I’ll be caught knowing only half.’

‘Who knows them all? You think I know the names? At this point I just throw in the bottles by instinct. Besides, cooking can be team work. You do half, I do half.’

‘You’re right, we’re best friends. You know half the recipe, I know half, we rely on each other. Sounds sweet too’, Margaery smiled.

‘But not the cauliflower things. Dad hates cauliflower.’

‘Tikka Masala?’ Sansa suggested.

‘Deal. Oh, and I’ll try some naan! Think I can make that from scratch?’

‘Perhaps we should just let you try to do the cake.’

‘The rum cake! Oh rum and egg nog! How blissful!’ cried Margaery.

‘Margaery, you’re not talking about the caramel rum fig cake, are you?’

‘Duh, of course I am. When else did we put drugs in a cake?’

Sansa raised her eyebrow, and saw memories flood Margaery’s mind as she watched her. Margaery’s ill-fated weed overdose cake, the notorious giggle cake, and the disaster cake that had ended up ruining a cake shape forever.

‘Margaery, you can’t make a caramel, I’m pretty sure you don’t know how to do the liquor part either.’

‘But you can do it! I make the batter and cut the figs, you do the other parts.’

‘Honestly my chances of making a caramel are fifty-fifty still. She’d only managed thrice without either ruining it by having it just become the next bottom layer of a cast iron pan or crumbling into small pieces.

‘We’ll try’, Sansa sighed.

‘Yay, thank you! I owe you.’

‘Yeah, you do. And not in the least because you stole my chocolate.’

‘You’ll get whatever is in my Christmas Calendar today, sorry. I just couldn’t resist it’, Margaery smiled. ‘So, you get ready? Then we can have breakfast.’

They had breakfast alone, as all others had it already, except for Loras and Renly, who notoriously slept until noon.

Margaery slipped her a slim plum coloured pencil.

‘What is this?’

‘My advent calendar of the day. Charlotte Tilbury pencil.’

‘Marge, that’s disproportionate’, Sansa protested weakly. But it was a gorgeous shade, and she’d always wanted something from the brand.

‘Meh, it’s fine. I have too many pencils anyways.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Think nothing of it.’

Sansa dug into her yoghurt and granola, eyes trailing off to the window. There was a slight dusting of snow on the grass, but nowhere else. She knew Northland had a foot of snow already. She missed it sorely. She usually spent an hour a day trekking through the snow, building castles and throwing snowballs. But she supposed a little was better than no snow, that she couldn’t have dealt with.

A sound in the hallway pulled her attention away. Sansa jumped, she was dressed but she hadn’t as much as brushed her teeth yet. When no one came in, she looked outside again. Where was the entire family? She felt like Jane Eyre awaiting Mr. Rochester in this big fancy house.

‘You won’t see him’, Margaery said.

Sansa blinked, looking away from the window.

‘Hm?’

‘I said: you won’t see him. It’s fine that you’re downstairs without make-up. He’s out riding with Garlan. He’s _obsessed_ with riding horses now that he can again without pain.’

‘Without pain?’ Sansa questioned.

Margaery’s eyes grew comically large.

‘Oh, I forgot to tell you. How could I forget I tell you everything!’

Margaery dramatically placed her hands in front of her mouth.

‘Oh, right. It was last January, when you were still home studying. And then when we both were in King’s Landing I was so focused on my exams and other business I didn’t think of it anymore.'

‘Marge?’

‘Willas decided to ehm – how do I phrase this delicately? – ditch the leg?’ Margaery said innocently, downplaying the news.

‘What?’

But she’d counted two shoes yesterday, well boots. Lovely glossy dark leather boots the same colour as his hair… _Get your shit together Stark._

‘Yeah, so you know it hurt to walk, hurt to sit. Hurt to do whatever with it and he always had to be very careful? Despite all the surgeries he’d had?’ Margaery asked, keeping her eyes focused on her fruit salad.

‘Yes?’

‘Well, he decided he was tired of the chronic pain and the weekly visits to the physiotherapist so he decided to have an amputation. And well, since July I believe he had his permanent prosthetic leg and it’s this really fancy one with a powered knee and it even has a computer chip and sensors to make him walk more naturally. Loras always laughs that one day his leg is going to get hacked or something and …’

Sansa zoned out. Her memories finally making sense.

_‘Hello, I do not believe I’ve had the pleasure yet.’_

_‘No we haven’t, hi.’_

_On a soft seat a bit removed from her sat Willas, curls and beard now fully grown compared to when she first met him, beside a man with black eyes and slicked back black hair. He had to have at least a good couple of years on Willas, yet they made the appearance of good friends. His looks were vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t recall wherefrom._

_‘My name is Oberyn Martell. Are you the reincarnation of the Red Woman? Because I believe you’ve just set my heart on fire.’_

_Oberyn Martell. He’d been on the same team as Willas, driving cars for Doran Tyrell. It was his car Willas had hit, sending him toppling over before colliding with a wall and catching flame._

_She knew the Tyrells never spoke of the Martells in a good light, so she was surprised to find him here beside Willas._

_‘Dim it, Oberyn, she’s a friend of my sister’s. Stay in your own decade lane. Ignore my friend, Sansa.’_

_‘No offense taken’, Sansa smiled politely._

_She looked from Willas towards the attractive older man again, his dark eyes surrounded by many a smile line. It was August last year and Loras’ graduation party. It was a wild affair, at the same venue as the New Year’s Eve party. Sansa and a friend of hers had gone to sit down, but her friend had disappeared in the direction of the lavatory some time ago and hadn't returned yet.  
_

_‘Sansa? What a lovely name. Northern, isn’t it? Now why is a lovely girl such as yourself not dancing?’ Oberyn questioned._

_Actually everyone she knew, except for the mysteriously disappeared Elinor, had been dancing with other men, leaving her kind of stranded._

_She supposed she didn’t wish to sound like a bore in front of the man who smiled like he’d tried every experience the world had to offer._

_‘I’m not really into dancing alone. And everyone’s already found a partner. But it’s fine. I wouldn’t last long on these heels anyways’, she added, not wanting to sound bitter._

_‘What an awful taste. Who would leave someone like you on the side? No, Willas, do excuse me but I cannot abide such a grave injustice. My lady Sansa, we should dance.’_

_Sansa laughed, hiding her burning cheeks behind her drink. She quickly took a few swallows, hoping the ice in it would cool her skin._

_Oberyn jumped upright, offering a hand and awaiting her with raised eyebrows, daring her to refuse him._

_She’d kind of talked herself into a corner by saying the only reason she didn’t dance was her lack of a partner._

_Her eyes skipped over to Willas, whose smile had become strained._

_At the time, she ignored it and stood up, deciding it was impolite to refuse his friend._

_Oberyn surprised her by immediately putting a hand around her waist._

_‘What, here?’ Sansa asked, barely managing to keep her posture straight as she laughed._

_‘Of course, why not? Here we have all the space we wish, and I’m not leaving my friend.’_

_He’d spun her around, pulling her to him and moving her on the beat with a suaveness that could only come from a lot of training and natural skill. He made jokes about possessing the full Dornish skill set, complimented her on her moves, and made small comments on the party that left her breathless with laughter as he expertly lead her through five dances before they collapsed on the padded seats. The Dornishman rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt, winking at her before taking a sip of his rum coke._

Sansa’s assumption had always been that ever since his accident Willas didn’t feel like partying, for whatever reason. She had already been amazed that he’d attended. But with this piece of information it made sense he hadn’t enjoyed nights which required a lot of standing and dancing. She’d seen him on New Year’s all those years ago. He’d been right in the center of the party. Perhaps parties were a painful reminder of his new limits.

‘Earth to Sansa?’ Margaery waved.

‘And he doesn’t have pain anymore?’ Sansa questioned.

‘Nope, none at all. Can you believe it? All that time and money spent trying to save his leg while he’s this much better without? It’s been half a year since he’s had physical therapy and over a year almost since he’s needed painkillers for it. Pretty bomb.’

‘Bomb, yeah’, Sansa muttered.

If he felt fine now, did that mean he’d start going to parties and such again once this pandemic had passed?

‘You’re not put off, right? I mean, I figured with Bran you were pretty alright with… Well.’

‘Not at all. Why would I be? After the men I’ve dated, possession of two complete legs scores pretty low on the requirement list. I’d say kindness, honesty, believing violence doesn’t solve relationship issues, a sense of romance and brains are most important’, Sansa immediately replied.

Margaery grinned.

‘Ugh, that isn’t to say I want him. I just mean that if anything is to put me off of dating a man, that isn’t it.’

‘You don’t want him? My brother is a catch, I’ll have you know. It baffles me he hasn’t had a relationship in these past five years. I can only assume it’s because women have no taste and he isn’t looking.’

‘If he isn’t looking it hardly matters whether I want him, doesn’t it?’ Sansa asked smugly.

‘Well he doesn’t need to look, you’ve landed straight into our home. He merely needs to stretch out his arm’, Margaery laughed, raising her arm and touching Sansa’s nose with her index finger.

Sansa rolled her eyes and put her bowl in the dishwasher.

‘Show me where you hide the tea, I’m going to start studying.’

‘Oh, I have plenty of tea’, Margaery grinned.

At three thirty Alerie called down everyone who still was upstairs. Sansa quickly swapped her leggings for jeans and untied her messy bun before hopping downstairs. For every young person there was a placemat with the elements of a gingerbread house. And in the middle of the table lay more decoration tools than she could dream of.

‘We need eggnog for this. I’m making!’ Margaery decided, racing to the kitchen.

‘Margaery, I already made some!’ Alerie cried after her daughter.

‘Then I’m taking it!’ her airy voice sung from the hallway.

‘Watch it. She’ll spike it’, Loras warned Sansa before plopping down at a chair in the middle. As the others started talking, threatening and reassuring each other, Sansa sat down gingerly at the far end of the table. There were four walls and two roof panels she easily identified. She’d made a gingerbread house before, but it had been rudimentary, and eaten directly after.

Margaery came back in with a tray, gently placing a glass in front of everyone before sitting down in front of Sansa.

‘Don’t you all look adorable?’ Alerie smiled motherly.

Sansa felt like she was a foot high again.

‘Look at the camera please’, Alerie begged. All Tyrells, partners and Sansa put away their characters and smiled sweetly at the camera. Once Alerie left, everyone quickly slid back into their usual roles.

Garlan put on Mariah Carey, Renly started loudly chatting about the trip he, Loras and Willas had made with the horses, and Leonette started drawing white hearts on the gingerbread walls with practised ease.

Sansa chewed on her cheek as she looked at the collection of decoration. Glossy chocolate pearls, slivers of candy cane, tiny candy canes, m&m’s, chocolate in three colours in piping bags, frosting in all colours of the rainbow and so much more. The doubt ate at her. Too many options always had that effect on her, and she wanted to do well. The first step was always the most daunting. She had it with papers and chess as well, she could waste hours agonizing over the first word or move.

 _Screw it, it’s just a desert. Ugly or nice it all tastes the same_ , she told herself. She grabbed a tube of blue frosting before she could lose her courage.

As she painted blue roses around the bottom of the walls she talked about studying with Margaery she spotted Garlan mindlessly biting pieces of his gingerbread as he watched Leonette work. Sansa hinted at them with her eyes. Margaery quickly looked over and smirked back. The table became quiet, except for the popstars singing Christmas songs.

‘But we’ve watched it all’, Sansa overheard Leonette saying at one point. She allowed her and Garlan to continue the conversation in private until Leonette literally demanded to know some good series.

Margaery recommended The Queen’s Gambit, if only for Anya Taylor-Joy. Loras recommended one about the golden era Targaryen movie industry, and Willas and her may or may not have accidentally suggested The Alienist at the same time. After which Leonette assumed it had to be the best and they both tried to tell her it was good but perhaps not her thing. Sansa decided to go for her more distinctive taste and suggest a tv adaptation of Florian and Jonquil and Willas went with The Nightwatch Commander. Half an hour more ticked by and Margaery was more occupied with filling cups than her gingerbread house, Willas was quietly working on his, and Garlan had altogether given up on looking as if he was busy, instead straight up pouring chocolate and M&M’s over his gingerbread right before eating it.

Loras messed up two window panes when Margaery accidentally bumped against his arm with the eggnog pitcher and immediately started cursing.

‘Can’t you watch out, you drunk?!’

‘I’m not drunk! I was just keeping everyone hydrated.’

‘The texture of the eggnog is becoming more translucent every time I see that pitcher.’

‘You didn’t even look away from your gingerbread house until I bumped you. How do you know what it looked like?’

‘Well, I do’, Loras huffed.

‘It’s just two panes, chill’, Renly suggested, putting a hand on Loras’ shoulder.

Loras whipped around. ‘That’s not the point, Renly.’

‘It was an accident’, Margaery said, her eyes gleaming with what Sansa could only call a mad new idea, ‘this is touching.’ Two seconds later Margaery’s fingers were on one of his roof panes .

‘I swear, if you try to knock down my gingerbread house one more time, I will put snow on your face while you sleep.’

Sansa bit her lip to keep from smiling too much. Loras looked entirely too serious.

 _Perhaps we can band together when Margaery decides to annoy us again_ , Sansa mused.

‘Good luck with that, there isn’t much to go around’, Margaery smiled. She sat down in front of Sansa again. ‘Seriously, why does everyone want to attack me in my sleep? You’re just all afraid of me when I’m awake.’

Five houses survived the ‘innocent’ afternoon activity, standing on the window sills in the kitchen. One looked like an absolutely mundane house, the other like an old house overgrown with plants, the other was a perfect dream of pink, red and white, one was only half-decorated and the last one had some tipsy windows, a very fat pony and no door drawn on it. Each perfectly representing the makers. The absent houses also reflected the makers, with Garlan going for easy gratification and Loras destroying his house once perfection was unattainable.

Margaery sat at the kitchen table, in tears over the morbidly obese pony. She was shaking so much she couldn’t dice the chicken. Sansa was chopping the onions and was hardly faring better, laughing at Margaery’s silliness and crying her eyes out.

‘Oh I can’t’, she breathed, wiping at her tears with the edge of her palm. But tears kept leaking from her eyes, both from the inner and the outer corner.

‘Did you… Did you wet the onion and the knife?’ Margaery asked between aftershocks of amusement.

‘Of course!’ Sansa cried, rubbing at her eyes with the top side of her hand. It smudged black and pink. Her eye make-up was running out. Bad.

Sansa pushed back her chair, walking around the room to air her eyes. To no avail.

‘No, oh seven hells… I can’t!’ she agonized, rushing over to the sink to wash her hands carefully before going back to rubbing her eyes. It wasn’t going over.

‘I need to… Perhaps getting my make-up off and having some fresh air will help’, Sansa decided.

‘You know what to do right?’

‘Yes’, Margaery answered sweetly. ‘And I still have the recipe saved. No worries.’

Sansa pressed her palms to her eyes and ran out, colliding with a hot solid wall. The wall wobbled, before it came to a standstill. Warm hands shooting out to steady her.

‘Oh, oh no. I’m sorry.’

She lowered her hands, rubbing at the skin of her eyelids. The figure was blurry. But she knew only one man of Tyrell colouring had been wearing a black shirt today. Of course, of fucking course it had to be him who bumped into her whilst she looked like a drowned metal singer.

‘Looks like things are pretty serious in the kitchen’, he noticed soberly. She could feel a hand moving away from her shoulder and coming back up against her hand. He was pressing something soft and dry into it. A handkerchief.

‘Thank you’, she responded meekly, shielding her eyes and trying to dab and rub at the spots where she knew the eyeliner and mascara would have been particularly messy. A rough hand brushed away a stray strand of hair that clung to her wet cheek.

Sansa’s breath quivered. Had he just touched her?

Once she lifted the handkerchief, she could see his soft smile, eyes twinkling with amusement. Her heart stuttered. There never was such a man as him. Feeling she was close to straight up drooling, she forced herself to restart the conversation.

‘It’s just that poor onion, you know?’ Sansa said, trying to convene sincerity through her eyes. ‘Never did anything wrong in his life and still ended up on the chopping board.’

‘It was a worthy death’, Willas pointed out calmly. ‘A sacrifice for a noble cause. Mother onion would have been very proud.’

‘You think so?’

‘I’m sure’, he smiled.

A few onion-induced tears slipped out of her eyes but the crying appeared to be over.

‘I uhm… I should get back.’

‘Yeah, don’t leave it alone with Margaery for too long. It will feel like it’s dying all over again’, he smirked, pushing open the kitchen door and moving for her to enter first. With a small smile she slipped back in. Margaery had only put the evil onions on the stove. It was fine, it truly was.

Willas stole away a glass of wine and was out again before she could say one more thing.

By the time Sansa walked out an hour and a half later her shoulders had turned to lead, hot sugar had burned a hole through her shirt, two batches of caramel rested in the bin and Margaery had cut a finger while slicing broccoli for the side dish. But it was done.

Margaery had agreed to take turns getting ready for dinner, with her doing the first shift of watching the cake and tikka masala while Sansa would do the second one during which the rice had to be cooked. The only things that had to be done was for the side dishes and the main dish to be put on the table together with some plates.

Sansa luxuriated in the heavenly feeling of her bed for ten minutes before she peeled off her clothes. Her study books glared at her from across the bedroom, so she shut them. She deserved a bit of fun after working her ass off in the kitchen.

She decided she could keep on her jeans, and only switched her shirt with a hole in it for a black velvet off-shoulder top with bat sleeves. Her make-up was, admittedly, a horror after the onion accident. So she wiped it off, washed her face with cold water, and then applied Margaery’s gifted eyeliner and her own mascara, eyeshadow and concealer. Admittedly, it did make her eyes absolutely pop.

Margaery was not one to miss a change of make-up and immediately perked up when Sansa walked in.

‘Sansa dear! Oh my, you look positively ravishing. I mean those dark jeans with that top? Very vampire chique I must say. And is that the eyeliner? It is, isn’t it?’ She danced away from the stove, observing Sansa’s face up close.

‘It does bring out the violet in your eyes. Suits you.’

‘Thanks.’

‘If you get zero compliments out of the present men I give up on the male gender all together.’

‘They have partners! They can’t just go… complimenting me.’

‘Dear, I know Joffrey did a lot of damage but not a single sane person thinks complimenting another being equals trying to seduce them.’

Sansa laughed, turning away in time to shiver. It had been a long time since Joffrey. But she could still remember the fear she felt the second some man was kind to her around Joffrey. It was always a death sentence for either them or – if they were too big for Joffrey – for Sansa, leaving her beaten and bruised until Joffrey felt his dominance was reasserted. _May he wither in misery._

Margaery left to get ready, so Sansa took up her spot near the stove and took her phone to check in on her family.

Dinner was an excellent amiable affair. Margaery only managed to get Leonette to comment on Sansa’s look, but all expressed extensive appreciation for dinner. Olenna had swallowed the spicy food that was far from what she usually, concluding it was very good. But Sansa’s favourite compliment was still Willas telling her a Dornishman couldn’t have spiced it better.

The men showed their gratefulness by carrying everything to the dishwasher and leaving the ladies to talk over the remains of their wine cups at the table. Olenna and Alerie were having an increasingly louder discussion about the colour of the table linen and the fabric of the runner on the Christmas table in a couple of days.

‘Why don’t we move to the living room?’ Margaery suggested silently.

‘Excellent idea’, Leonette breathed.

‘Mommy, Granny, we’re going to pick a movie. Do you have a preference?’

Olenna waved Margaery off. ‘I’m past the point of caring which movies we recycle.’

So that was how Sansa ended up on the couch wedged between Margaery on one side and Leonette on the other, a stack of DVD’s deposited onto her lap.

‘Pick one’, Margaery encouraged.

‘You can’t go wrong, they’re all Tyrell holiday staples’, Leonette added.

Of course Leonette knew the Tyrell holidays by heart. She’d been in the family since high school. Sansa sometimes wondered if her own family didn’t want her around for the holidays. From what she’d heard, Leonette was always around. Come to think of it, she couldn’t remember Leonette even talking about her family. Odd. She’d ask Margaery at some point.

‘You’re not taking a test, just pick one’, Leonette encouraged. Sansa felt awfully guilty for wondering about her private life.

‘This one’, she replied, randomly pulling one out.

‘Oh, I _adore_ that one!’ Leonette cried.

Two dogs came running in, paws sliding in their enthusiastic sprints towards Margaery and Leonette.

Leonette immediately threw herself upon the floor to receive the long haired one while Margaery patted on the couch beside her. Sansa, knowing the energy of big dogs, flung herself to the other side just in time to make space for the giant greyhound.

The dog gave Sansa a one over, sniffing her face, shoulder and lap, before folding down its great limbs. Sansa watched the dog’s face on Margaery’s lap, eyes already peacefully closed. ‘Isn’t Maris such an adorable baby? Yes you are, have you come to keep my lap warm? Or am I making you warm hm? Heard it’s freezing outside’, Margaery cooed.

The rest of the family trickled into the room to watch the movie. Sometimes Sansa couldn’t help but look away from the screen just to look at them instead. Mace had his arm wrapped around Alerie, his free hand holding a glass of red wine. Loras was fidgeting in Renly’s arms as they laid down on a couch, regularly looking at the fire when a log cracked or the lights in the huge tree changed colour. Willas was a talkative watcher, regularly whispering things into Leonette’s and Garlan’s ears as they watched, causing the latter two to giggle and sniffle. It did make her a bit jealous.

The first movie ended and it was unanimously decided that the second one would be watched as well. Margaery decided that the break was the perfect time to present their cake, which was met with a lot of oohs and aahs. Alerie demanded the recipe, and everyone dug in for seconds.

‘Honestly Sansa, we might not give you back to the Starks’, Garlan said with a stuffed mouth.

‘Can’t we persuade you to come back next year?’

‘We’ll have to really seduce her then. She does love her family a lot’, Margaery replied, eyes twinkling.

‘Sansa, if there anything that might make you consider staying, and perhaps make some more deserts, just name it and we’ll make it happen’, Garlan said.

‘I can think of a few things’, Margaery mumbled.

With a sigh, Sansa looked at her friend.

‘Do you like horse riding? We could take you sometime. Or baking, getting baked, boardgames, nail lacking…’, Garlan offered laughingly.

‘We even have a dork who can tell you all about statistics and the constellations if you’re into that shit instead of actual fun’, Margaery teased.

‘Marge, with all respect, but if anything makes her come back for seconds, it won’t be Willas’ nerdtalk’, Loras shrugged without averting his eyes from the movie.

‘It’s called politics, economics and science. Knowing something about those topics might actually do you some good’, Willas pointed out.

‘I don’t need that shit to make my films. Will they make the vibe of my movies any better?’ Loras asked with the arrogant dumbness of a reality star instead of a director of photography.

‘Guys, I can’t hear the movie’, Leonette said casually. And that was all that was needed to shut them up. For a while.

‘Whether you believe it or not, you have a great capacity for love. I know you can find someone wonderful to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t let the facts that you have no time and a paralyzing fear of intimacy get you down’, Neil smirked at Scott.

‘Ey brother, that’s you’, Garlan joked a little too loudly.

‘Oof!’ Loras laughed.

Everyone’s eyes flew from Garlan to Willas. Sansa wondered what would follow after this. At home mother would have chastised someone for making those kinds of jokes, or a fight could have broken out depending on who said that to who. But although Alerie had a disapproving look in her eyes, she let the children to their own.

‘That’s nonsense’, Willas said calmly. ‘I have time.’

Everyone cracked into laughter and even Sansa had to bite her lip to keep from joining in. Feeling that laughing might look like saying he indeed had intimacy issues.

Did Willas just look up at her with a smile? No she was imagining it, everyone was just laughing and so it was normal that everyone looked at each other with a smile on their face. 

Sansa stood up to stretch her legs, compelled by some force of nature she didn’t understand to move towards the window. It was snowing. Greyish shadows twirling down against an inky backdrop. She froze, hands glued to the window. She inched closer until her forehead was planted against the glass. It appeared to fall slowly, and already the windowsill looked like a plush pillow of glitter.

Now everything was perfect.

‘Sansa, what are you doing over there? It’s getting exciting’, Margaery called.

‘It’s snowing’, Sansa announced, a smile breaking through on her face as she took a step back. It really was snowing.

‘Is it?’ Margaery asked. She whipped out her phone and tried to get a good picture of it. The moonlight allowed for just enough visibility to show how the garden had been swallowed by a blanket of pristine white. She tried to add contrast and light to make it stand out more.

Her gaze slid away to something red in the corner. Looking over her screen, she noticed a tiny puppet in the corner. She lifted it. Its body fit into her hand, its legs long and dangly.

‘What are you holding?’ Margaery asked, sounding much closer.

‘A red puppet’, Sansa mused, lifting it.

‘Oh. My. God. Stark.’

Sansa turned around to Margaery, who sported the most incredible expression.

‘That’s the elf! Everyone, Sansa got the elf!’ Margaery announced.

The whole living room jumped up, Loras shouted and Garlan laughed.

‘Can she do that? Auch!’ she heard Loras say.

‘Well done, dear’, Alerie said decisively, sporting a big smile.

‘Did Margaery explain the game to you?’

‘Yes, but I admit I’d forgotten about it’, Sansa replied.

‘Well, a happy surprise it is then to immediately find it by accident on the first day’, Alerie decided. She retrieved a package from underneath the tree.

‘There you go, open up dear’, she said as she accepted the elf from Sansa.

Sansa looked over at the others.

Seven heads were lifted above the backrests of the sofas, two dozen brown eyes filled with either envy or curiosity watching her as she tore the packaging.

‘Mother, you know which one you’re giving or?’

‘I wrapped them a month ago, so I don’t know which one. Doesn’t matter either’, Alerie replied to Loras.

The bottle had a purple cap, and a bottle containing a berry liquid.

‘Oh, I didn’t even know such a dark one existed!’ exclaimed Margaery, bouncing on Sansa’s side.

‘Oh, it’s a candy one’, Loras shrugged, dropping back onto the couch.

‘A mysterious blend of summer berries that tastes like the summer solstice. My oh my, isn’t the winter solstice around this time? Perfect time to crack it open, I’d say’, Margaery suggested.

‘Actually, it is today’, Willas pointed out.

Of course he knew, he seemed to know everything that happened up in the sky.

Sansa couldn’t help looking up. He gave her a polite smile.

It saddened her he didn’t remember their first conversation.

‘Oh, is it now?’ Margaery asked, looking at the bottle with renewed interest. Sansa cradled it a little closer, feeling Margaery’s mind was about to hatch a plan.

‘Would it turn eggnog lavender? Or would it just float to the bottom.’

‘Please don’t talk about hurting my liquor that way’, Sansa said defensively.

‘I won’t get a sip?’

‘Of course you get a sip. We always share everything.’ 

‘You sure you guys aren’t dating?’ Renly smirked.

‘If we were I wouldn’t have to waste so much money on batteries’, Margaery quipped.

‘Gross’, Loras shot back. Nobody else deigned it worthy of a comment.

‘Go back to the couch you, I’ll get some tonic and gin glasses’, Margaery said, patting Sansa on the back.

‘Oh, could I try it too Sansa?’ Leonette asked.

‘Everyone can try some, I don’t mind.’

‘Oh, in that case me too!’ Garlan said.

‘Alright, who else?’ Margaery asked, pausing at the door. Alerie, Olenna and Mace passed, Loras demanded a glass of eggnog, but Renly and Willas accepted the offer too. And no, Sansa did not feel good about being able to give something to Willas. Thanks for asking. 

Margaery soon returned with six glasses and a bottle of tonic.

‘Mmm, this smells similar to that perfume bottle Harry gave you once’, Margaery noticed.

Sansa took a sniff.

‘Yeah, it actually does. That purple bowtie bottle’, Sansa laughed.

‘Who’s Harry?’ Garlan asked. Margaery bit her lip, casting a doubtful glance at Garlan.

‘Her ex, do keep up’, Leonette replied.

‘The blond prick who went to jail?’

‘No the other blond prick who cheated on her’, Leonette replied.

‘Can’t trust a blond person’, Garlan joked.

‘Especially not when they’re from Westerland.’

Sansa took another gulp. Her dating life sounded like a disaster put like that. Well, it was a disaster, but she didn’t like to be reminded of it. Through the round glass she saw Willas frowning in their direction. She lifted the glass higher to drink even more of it.

‘Come to think of it I haven’t smelled it on you lately. Do you still have it?’

‘Gave it to Jeyne, sweeter scents suit her much better. And I prefer berries in my drinks and food instead of my hair’, Sansa replied with a sigh.

‘Jeyne from Winterfell?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Been a while since I heard of her.’

Bless Margaery for taking the attention away from the topic.

‘She’s doing well. She finally has a boyfriend’, Sansa replied.

‘Finally? People don’t need partners.’

‘But she really wanted one, always did. It’s really sad actually. She’s been in love with someone almost non-stop since we turned two-and-ten and she’s only now found someone who loves her in return.’

‘How did she find him? Weren’t people forced to work from home as much as possible the past nine months?’

‘Yeah, but she’s a physical therapist and the guy she’s seeing got crushed by the Mountain in football.’

‘Oh, he’s a footballer? Who is it?’

‘Beric Dondarrion.’

‘I’m looking him up’, Margaery decided, pulling her phone from the pocket of her golden dress.

‘The Mountain and Beric Dondarrion as in The Lightningbolt?’ Loras asked, perking up at their names.

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh my god I saw that tackle. Absolutely ruthless. And then him falling over the Lightningbolt afterwards “by accident” my ass. That guy had to have broken some bones’, Loras decided.

‘He did. You know, it actually is such a romance movie plot. She’s had a crush on Beric for years. One time, she came over to King’s Landing and since dad was invited to a box by Robert –‘

‘Hey, was that around five years ago?’ Renly asked. Sansa nodded.

‘I was there!’

‘I know you were’, Sansa laughed.

‘Great times’, Renly sighed fondly.

‘So Robert, who’s the head sponsor of Stags United, he took me, Jeyne and some others along. They won and Robert invited us to the afterparty. Jeyne spent the whole night mooning over Beric, but he didn’t notice her at all of course. Jeyne felt awful afterwards, she thought she was too quiet and too plain to ever be noticed by the likes of him. Which is yeah, valid if someone is surrounded by loud gorgeous socialites but she’s a lovely and beautiful girl in her own right. It felt like the Mother above decided to grant her the occasion to be noticed and valued for who she was. And so five years down the line, Beric is rolled in and falls head over heels for her.’

‘Maybe he wanted some free massages?’ Loras suggested.

‘You absolute bum, that’s such a sweet story’, Renly declared, pushing Loras out of the couch.

‘And creepy, I mean lusting after someone for five years?’ Loras asked.

Sansa bit her lip. Her and Jeyne fell in love with unattainable hot older sportsmen months apart and Jeyne’d gotten hers and Sansa still kind of wanted Willas to fall in love with her. It had been lust at first, of course, but now years down the line she’d seen enough of him to know that he had the qualities she was looking for in a man.

‘She didn’t stalk him or something’, Sansa snapped.

‘That’s rich coming from you by the way’, Margaery pointed out. ‘Was it only two years or was it longer that you ran after a man who wasn’t even out of the closet yet?’ Margaery asked accusingly before taking a sip from her glass.

‘Trying to dance with me at every party, texting me a meme at least once a week’, Renly teased.

Loras’ face turned sour. ‘Fine, alright.’

‘Haven’t we all spent some time chasing and hoping and fearing things would never be?’ Garlan asked.

‘Before it turned out it was destiny’, Leonette finished in rhyme.

‘As sickeningly sweet as it is, yes’, Renly smirked.

‘Well your granddad certainly had to chase for a while, that’s for sure’, Olenna replied as she turned a page in her book. She didn’t have the patience to devote her full attention to the movie apparently.

‘It did take some time, yes. Hightowers, notoriously difficult people’, Mace replied with a smile.

‘Excuse me?’ Alerie demanded. ‘You were too lazy to properly pursue me. A girl deserves more than only a ten minute phone call to set up the next date.’

‘That’s that oaf of a son of mine’, Olenna smirked. ‘Not good at taking initiative.’

‘Mother – ‘

‘It’s true’, she snapped, ‘Your political career was earned through bargaining, flattery, jumping sides, and promising your way up to the top. And that’s how you tried getting Alerie through. Giving her dates expecting loyalty. Promising you would be good and expecting love in return. It’s a good thing she cracked through that vain head of yours.’

‘That’s a thing you know, every single one of them is born with the thickest neck ever seen on babies’, Olenna told Sansa.

‘You could see it in their eyes as children. That dazzling smile whenever they did something bad, or that sad pitiful pout. Believing that if they looked cute and pretty the world would forgive them everything.’

Sansa’s mouth corners curled upwards.

‘Granny!’ Margaery protested. ‘Sansa, say it isn’t true.’

Olenna raised her eyebrows expectantly.

‘I noticed.’

‘I’m not as vain or full of myself as Loras.’

‘I could rank this entire room, and all non-Tyrells would be at the bottom. There’s a difference even between the least confident Tyrell and the most confident non-Tyrell.’

Garlan turned towards Leonette, but she just shrugged with a feeble smile.

‘You wound me’, Margaery cried, finishing off her glass miserably.

‘Marge, I still love you. That trademark confidence, including that damned smile is part of the trademark Tyrell charm.’

‘True’, Leonette smiled.

‘Very true, but then I do like a bit of cockiness’, Renly grinned. Loras slapped his arm.

‘The movie is over’, Willas announced, distracting all distracted people from their talk.

Everyone looked at the screen to verify the truth and indeed, it was the final scene.

‘What time is it?’

‘Half past midnight’, Loras replied.

‘Oh, we better go to bed then’, Alerie decided. She immediately rose.

‘Stay up as long as you like, it’s a holiday after all. But Margaery do be mindful that you have to study tomorrow, at least for some hours.’

‘Yes, mommy’, Margaery replied while showcasing that trademark smile.

Mace and Olenna rose as well. After some bumping shoulders and raised eyebrows, the couples took off too, no doubt because they still had some things to do before going to sleep.

‘Well’, Margaery said, breaking the silence that had come over the remaining three people in the room. ‘Tonight was fun.’

Sansa nodded, swivelling her purple drink around in the glass.

‘A bit chaotic near the end’, Willas smiled, stretching his arms out above his head. ‘I’m going to read a bit now, if you’ll excuse me.’

Willas put off the television.

‘Boring’, Margaery replied with a smirk.

‘We have the whole house for ourselves now, we should do something with it.’ Unfortunately for Margaery, a yawn that bubbled up from her chest underlined how they should be sensible and go to bed if they were to study tomorrow morning.

‘Will we do anything tomorrow afternoon?’ Sansa asked. ‘Because we spent quite a lot of time downstairs today. If we’ve got nothing planned we can study until dinner tomorrow afternoon so then we don’t have to get up early. But if we do, perhaps we would better go to bed now?’

‘I don’t think we have something planned. At least not that I can remember’, Margaery said.

‘Will, do we have anything to do?’

‘No’, Willas replied as he stood.

‘So you see, we have the whole day to study. We’ll be fine!’

Maris groaned in her sleep, nestling her face deeper into Margaery’s lap.

‘But no more movies. And we’re with too few for a fun boardgame. Hmph, we’ve cooked, we’ve baked, we’ve talked boys. What else is there to do?’ Margaery asked before supressing another yawn.

‘Alright,’ Margaery said, more to herself than anything, ‘maybe sleep isn’t so bad. I’ve done only twenty pages today. I always struggle to focus the first week. There’s just too much excitement with being back home and so many parties up ahead.’

Margaery gave Maris a sad look. ‘I’m sorry girl. I need to get up.’ Maris whined when her mistress evicted her from her lap.

‘Sansa, you’re coming?’ she asked as she picked up the left behind glasses. Sansa nodded, gathering the ones Margaery didn’t take.

‘Night Will.’

‘Sleep tight’, Sansa added quickly.

‘Night Marge, good night Sansa’, Willas smiled as he looked up from his book. Sansa’s heart jumped a final time before she slipped out, helping Margaery put the glasses away before following her upstairs.

Sansa’s room was dark and quiet, lit only by the small desk lamp she’d left burning.

She couldn’t even conceive sleep. She felt way too awake for that. Her heart was recovering from Willas and her mind was racing by thoughts about tonight.

And of course there was –

Sansa threw open the window, inhaling deeply as the cold stole into her room. The winter air embraced her, sharp yet soundless.

But she did hear the hush of falling snow. She couldn’t for the life of her describe what it sounded like during the other seasons, but she always recognized that ethereal otherworldly sound when she heard it.

Snow glittered on her window sill.

She couldn’t resist. She was a Stark of Winterfell, the season was in her blood.

She pressed her pale hand into the pure pristine snow that crunched underneath the weight of her hand. She let out a sigh of satisfaction.

The snow stung her hand only a little. She lifted her hand again, admiring her work while at the same time regretting her window sill wasn’t perfect anymore.

She grabbed some snow on the side, rolling it between her hands as it sparkled. And another one, and another one, until she had three balls of shimmering snow lying on the marble tablet on the inside of the window. She stacked them carefully, putting down the miniature snowman in the corner. It almost looked more like a worm, since it was so small.

She gently brushed over the snow on the rest sill until it was somewhat smooth again. It was still snowing. Perhaps by tomorrow morning, it would be perfect again. As pristine and untouched as the ground underneath. She could feel the desire burning just beneath the surface. Her blood was singing, begging her to _go_ and _touch_.

This was the first decent snow she’d ever had in the south. She couldn’t not treasure it when it finally presented itself.

Mindful of the unicum she retrieved her phone and posted a pic of her snowman for her family to see.

Her mind was decided. Her family had been out having fun in the snow today, she would too. At least that way she could still upkeep some holiday celebrations of her own. She quickly pulled on a sweater and the gloves lying on the edge of her desk. She was too impatient for anything else.

_I’ll only be out for a few minutes anyways. Only to have been outside and stepped in the snow. That is enough._

She ghosted down the stairs, spiriting down the hallway and out of the kitchen door.

_Finally._

She let out a deep breath as she stepped into the snow, revelling in the crunch.

The world was soundless, all scents and noises swallowed by the twirling flurry of fluffy snowflakes.

Crunch cronch. Crunch cronch.

It was absolute heaven.

She’d hoped this would happen. She’d noticed the signs. The frozen ground, the lingering dusting of snow in the grass, the pinkish sky and the constant frost, yet she had been hesitant to hope. This was the notoriously warm south, after all. But now it finally floated from the sky in fat lazy flocks. She closed her eyes, allowing the clumps to melt on her face, stinging it to live with their cold kiss.

And then she was off, walking and twirling in the dark, closing her eyes to enjoy the subtle sound of her own movement. A few lights still lit her path. There was the kitchen light, and the sky was quite bright despite the snow as well. Glancing up, she tried deducing the pattern of the snowflakes, but found it impossible to do.

Perspective, she needed perspective.

She dropped into the snow, not supressing her smile as she felt herself sink into it. It really was a decent layer. She was amazed by just how much had fallen in such a short amount of time.

The snow could be better observed from a lying position. It danced on a voiceless wind above her, sometimes landing on her eyes and forcing her to blink. It was worth it though.

As one of her hands slipped off her belly and fell into the snow, a new idea presented itself.

‘I can’t believe you’re making snow angels at one after midnight’, a low male voice laughed.

Sansa sat up, cheeks burning as she sat in the evidence.

Willas Tyrell walked over slowly.

‘So it is true what they say about Northerners? How on earth can you roll around in the snow in only a jeans and a thin sweater?’

_The exact opposite of what you said our first conversation._

‘I just couldn’t resist’, she admitted sheepishly. ‘It just… doesn’t it look absolutely beautiful?’

Willas looked around, nodding slowly before his eyes came to rest on her.

‘It does.’

Sansa swallowed away her nerves.

‘But I rather admire it from inside.’

‘But doesn’t it beg to be touched?’ Sansa pressed. Her lungs paused. Why did that sound so wrong? ‘It just looks so… beautiful’, she continued as she kicked a bit of snow.

‘Yes. You said that’, he noted. She looked up to find him smiling again. Always smiling. It unsettled her, but not in a bad way. It heated her stomach like glühwein.

‘I understand what you mean’, he recognized.

‘Thank the gods. I don’t understand how southerners have such an aversion to snow. Even when they admire it they never considering going out when it snows’, she laughed.

‘Still the stereotypes about the urbanized nature hating south and the rural nature loving north?’ Willas enquired.

Sansa’s cheeks burned even more. She laughed nervously.

‘Just that the old joke usually holds up.’

‘I’ll have you know I used to travel north for winter sports.’

She bit her tongue the second it lifted to form the words: “what changed”.

‘Oh, I didn’t know.’

‘Was quite good. Especially on a snowboard’, he told as he examined the ground, shoving his feet around in the snow.

She could immediately believe that.

‘I don’t do winter sports’, Sansa shared. Willas looked down at her. ‘Only some ice skating. I never was much of a sportswoman’, she admitted with a shrug.

His gaze was so intense, combined with the cold of the snow stabbing through her now wet jeans it made her shiver.

‘And now neither am I’, Willas said, holding out an arm as he carefully sat down in the snow. A small – was it relieved? – breath left him once he sat down.

Sansa was sure that he could still win medals in parasports if he wanted to. He had the discipline, the energy and the readiness to commit to training, and probably took some pleasure in it too. While she didn’t.

‘You know, it is rather nice’, he admitted as he looked up at the sky.

‘It’s been a long time since I’ve been out in the snow.’

And then Sansa realized why he’d said he rather admired it from inside. It hadn’t been a joke about snow being unpleasant or uninteresting, otherwise he wouldn’t have done winter sport. It had been the injury. Five years ago he’d been in a coma until spring. The next year he was between crutches and a wheelchair, neither of which was ideal to move in the snow. He’d been on crutches ever since, until this year. She suddenly felt mortified at having laughed at him for watching it from inside. Being outside in the snow had been another thing he’d lost.

‘This is your first time out?’ she asked softly.

‘First time in five years’, Willas admitted.

Sansa shivered. She couldn’t imagine going five years without enjoying herself outside. She was happy he could come out again.

‘Daughter of the North isn’t so weatherproof it seems’, he teased.

‘No, I’m the least coldproof Stark. Bad blood circulation. Perhaps that’s why they kicked me out’, she joked, trying to activate the buried memory.

He paused, looking at her with a furrowed brow.

‘Kicked you out?’ he asked, his brow growing heavier once he said it.

‘Just a joke’, she laughed. ‘My family loves me’, she added.

‘I know. Or well, I guessed it. From the way you talked about them.’

Her heart floated. He’d been paying attention to her.

Willas unbuttoned his coat, shrugging out of it.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Being a stereotypical southern gentleman and preventing a lady from dying of frostbite.’

‘No no, I’m fine. It’s just a bit of cold’, she protested as he wrapped his coat around her.

He really was still the same man she’d fallen for all those years ago. Only now it was better, because she knew him deeper, and their conversations were more personal. She wondered if the night would end the same way.

Willas looked at her with a determined expression.

‘Now who’ll save you from frostbite once you inevitably get cold?’

‘One, I haven’t been out as long as you have. Two, my clothes are warmer. Three, I can get up and go back inside. Something I doubt you were considering. I like snow, but I don’t have that much of an attachment to it’, he replied.

‘Thanks’, Sansa said softly.

Willas smiled back, stoking the fire in her belly as his coat heated up the rest of her.

Sansa wished they could remain frozen like that, together in the snow. Only to be found, hundreds of years from now on, like the lovers found in Valyria covered in lava.

Sansa plopped back into the snow. Deciding that if she couldn’t have the full fantasy, she could at least indulge in it a little.

‘I could just lay here forever’, she sighed as she looked up at the sky, snowflakes kissing her cheeks.

She was surprised when Willas laid down beside her.

‘The only tragedy is that you can’t have both snow and stars at once. That would have been nice.’

‘That wouldn’t just have been nice. That would have been amazing’, Sansa said.

She looked to her side, but Willas was looking at the sky. Yet she again felt that connection buried deep within, feeble yet present.

She closed her eyes, completely content.

It was just him and her, together in this infinite moment. Never had a night felt more magical.

As the snow continued pattering down, Sansa could hear the soft crackle of moving snow. Willas was ever so slowly opening his legs and closing them again, hesitantly widening the skirt of his angel. Sansa allowed him his exploration in peace, glad to be by his side during his rediscovery of snow. She was proud that he felt comfortable to test his limits and possibilities right beside her.

There came no kiss. But she felt the intimacy of the moment was far superior to their conversation so many years ago.


	4. Chapter 4

‘Sansa, you’re up early’, Alerie said, jumping up in surprise.

Alerie, Willas and Leonette were sitting at the long wooden kitchen table. The bright lights were blinding to Sansa who’d only gotten out of bed twenty minutes earlier and had rubbed on some eyeshadow and mascara in the dark.

‘I was getting up a bit earlier to study today’, she replied awkwardly. Her body stil hummed with sleep. She wasn’t prepared for too much conversation.

‘Very sensible dear. Did Margaery as well? Coffee?’ she asked, already walking over to the counter.

‘Yes, thank you.’

Margaery had taken her breakfast bowl the previous day and she didn’t know where the rest was stored or what to eat. Walking towards the table she spotted bread and enough things to put on it. But –

‘A knife? A plate? Or is there something else you want to eat?’

‘Bread is fine, thank you.’

‘Awh, poor dear. You still look so sleepy’, Leonette laughed, patting the empty chair by her side.

‘Come sit down. You can have Garlan’s spot. He left just twenty minutes ago.’

‘Oh, where did he go to?’

‘Some riding school that’s forty minutes away. He’ll be back by lunch’, Leonette explained.

Sansa slid into the chair beside her.

Willas was sitting across of her. It was unfair he was fully awake while her brain was still abed, he must have had the same amount of sleep as her or less.

‘Here you are dear’, Alerie said, placing a plate, knife and cup of coffee in front of her.

‘Thank you.’

‘No problem.’

Alerie sighed, her boots clicking away again. Sansa didn’t know where she got the energy to balance on heels in her own home.

‘You know, I do wonder who made that snowman. It’s been there since I woke up so either someone’s gotten up very soon. Or someone went outside in the dark to build one’, Alerie mused.

‘Yeah, I pulled open the curtains this morning and I immediately asked Garlan the same question’, Leonette replied, looking over her shoulder to the snowman visible through the large window.

Caught.

Willas met her gaze, eyes glowing with mirth.

‘Oh so it wasn’t Garlan? He was the most likely candidate.’

The longer she delayed it, the more awkward it would become to confess it, and the more people would start speculating.

‘It was me’, Sansa admitted. ‘I couldn’t resist going outside yesterday evening.’

‘Oh.’

‘You’re going to tell me you dead-lifted that giant second ball on top of the first one?’ Leonette asked.

‘Man, you wouldn’t tell with such slim arms.’

Sansa’s cheeks burned.

‘I helped her’, Willas replied calmly.

As if it was absolutely normal for the two of them to be out making snowmen at one o’clock. No doubt this is when the rumours would begin. Margaery would be ordering her bridesmaid dress in a week.

‘You went _out_?’ Alerie asked.

Her gaze slid from the snowy garden to her son, filled with worry.

‘Were you alright?’

Willas lifted his arms, looking down at himself.

‘Still whole’, he declared with a smile. ‘Well, as whole as I’ll ever be’, he added wryly.

‘And the leg… in the snow?’ she asked, sitting down in the seat beside him.

‘Fine, mother.’

She could see how tense his smile was. He didn’t like the questions. She’d thought they’d get questions about being friends and doing things together, not this. Somehow, she preferred it if they would have just gotten teased for it.

‘Cool, does that mean you’ll join the snowball fight this afternoon?’ Leonette asked.

‘The snowball fight?’ Sansa asked.

‘Yeah, if it snows over the holidays we always hold a snowball fight. Thought we might as well today, as we don’t know how long it’ll be around.’

‘It’ll be freezing for some more days’, Willas informed her.

‘Okay good, no one said we can’t have multiple snowball fights. So, will you?’ Leonette asked again.

‘I don’t know. I’ll see.’

‘But you went outside already and it was fine.’

‘That’s a lot of crouching and running and bending, dear. I know that new leg is supposed to work amazing but perhaps even that has its limits’, Alerie told Leonette.

Willas’ lips became a straight line.

‘I’ll see’, he repeated. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me. I’ll continue my book.’

Her heart broke a little bit for him. He was still a Tyrell, she didn’t doubt he hated people discussing what he could and couldn’t do.

Sansa wished she could rise with him in solidarity, but she’d only eaten one slice of bread since she sat down.

‘Have fun’, she chirped softly before her courage left her.

He gave her a small smile before he strode out.

At four, Margaery knocked on Sansa’s door.

It was to be expected, after Leonette had divulged that a snowball fight was on the agenda.

‘Willas, do you wanna build a snowman? Come on, let’s go and play’, Margaery sung, her voice too sultry for the high-pitched innocent Disney song.

‘So you heard’, Sansa concluded.

‘Tsk, heard it. Everyone heard how you guided Bambi into the snow.’

‘Did Willas agree to you using that nickname?’

‘Did anyone ever agree to a nickname?’ Margaery shot back, laying down on Sansa’s bed.

‘Already so protective of him’, Margaery grinned. ‘So, the snowman hm?’

‘What of it?’

‘Well, everything. Did you ask him outside? Did he come? How long were you outside? I wasn’t told anything.’

‘You were sleeping, and then I was studying.’

‘Oh bah, you should have taken a break to inform your friend you’re seducing her brother.’

Sansa buried her head in her hands.

‘You know, that’s the second time you haven’t contradicted my teasing.’

‘I went outside on my own. I sneaked out through the kitchen actually. But I forgot that as I walked, I could also be seen from the living room windows. I guess he must have seen me and come out’, Sansa explained, rather than commenting on Margaery’s clever observation.

‘He came outside for you? That’s promising’, Margaery encouraged.

‘Maybe he just came to check I didn’t die of hypothermia?’

‘Yeah, because checking that requires making a snow angel and a snowman.’

‘It doesn’t’, Sansa agreed.

She turned around on her chair.

‘Could it be? I just… I don’t want to get my hopes up Marge. Nor do I want to make him awkward by making unwanted advances.’

‘So you do want it, then? A relationship?’

‘You’ve teased me for my crush for years. Don’t go acting all surprised now.’

‘Dear, it was only yesterday you claimed you weren’t interested in him. Teasing you was fun but I need to know how you really feel about him now.’

Sansa groaned, drawing up her knees to her chest.

‘You kissed him five years ago. Back when you barely knew him. And you’ve still only had a handful of conversations with him. Is it love? Is it interest? Is it lust? All are valid, but I really want to know. Let me help you figure out what to do.’

‘It was lust at first, I think. He was just so…. You know?’ she asked, unable to hide her smile. ‘He was like a god. Totally gorgeous and charming and eloquent and clever and social… Just, the total package. Perhaps the unattainability also had something to do with it.’

Sansa sighed, propping her head on her knees.

‘It was nothing short of a miracle when he kissed me. I mean, he had all those models vying for his attention inside. That such a man could see me and like me…’

‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I just know that everything I learned about him drew me in more.’

‘Willas offered me his jacket and told me I was pretty and talked about sunrises and birds and just interesting stuff. And then our next conversation he just… His values were so on point you know? It’s very hard to find guys our age who can value family for what it is really worth’, Sansa trailed off.

‘He said that?’

‘Yeah.’

‘When?’

‘During that garden party when you found us near the stairs.’

Margaery patted on the bed beside her. Sansa stood and laid down beside her.

‘I know it’s rude to ask… But you’re not just projecting on him right? I know with Joffrey you were ecstatic because he was beautiful and charming and popular and you finally got your first relationship. And you tried to excuse his shitty behaviour for so long just because well…’

‘I wanted it to be a fairy tale. And I didn’t want it to fail’, Sansa sighed. 

‘Yes so… I can’t help but wonder if it is because he lives in your head as this perfect prince. He’s human and he isn’t perfect and I don’t want you to be disappointed because the reality doesn’t match the hopes you’ve had.’

Sansa bit her cheek. It _was_ rude. But Sansa had to admit Margaery was right to psychoanalyse her. She’d had a history of twisting things into her head until they fit a narrative, daydreaming so much until the versions of people in her head were barely compatible with the real life people anymore. She considered this frightening possibility. It was true she’d had a classic case of teenage infatuation with him. And he did live in her head with her perfect first kiss memory. But she didn’t believe she’d idolized him. She’d added every new bit of knowledge she learned about him. She could see how she matched him and how she didn’t. But she did know there was a lot about him she didn’t know yet.

‘I don’t think so’, she admitted. ‘Could you tell me some of his bad sides? Or sides I don’t know of? Test me.’

‘He’s an early riser.’

Sansa’s face scrunched.

‘Awful, but I’ll have to get used to it too when I start working.’

‘He exercises. Even now.’

‘So did Joff and Harry, I manage, I can do something else instead.’

‘He just slams shut when he dislikes something, grows distant. It’s hard to get through to him then.’

She’d noticed that this morning, she believed. That wasn’t ideal. Sansa shut herself off too. She knew it wasn’t a good or healthy coping technique, especially in a relationship. They would have to deal with that. She also got terribly anxious when her previous boyfriends didn’t tell her everything. She was always afraid she’d done something wrong, or they were going to dump her.

‘Okay’, she nodded. ‘That’s not perfect.’

‘He refuses to eat fastfood.’

‘Gah’, Sansa rolled over.

‘Not even after a party when he’s had too much to drink?’

‘Never. Homemade fries is the furthest you’ll ever get him.’

‘He’ll believe I’m a trash panda with my nocturnal activeness, take-out and lack of sports.’

‘Probably. You’re not really lifestyle compatible. But that never stopped someone. There’s something like differing a healthy amount. After all, you’re both college educated, love books, only like old music, love cooking. I don’t know if it would have worked out back in the day but now’, Margaery shrugged.

‘So, you still want to try?’

‘Yeah. I want to get to know him, I think.’

‘So, what finally got you so far to admitting that?’ Margaery asked.

‘Yesterday… there was just this moment when we looked at each other, and we weren’t even talking and I just…’  
  


Sansa laid her hand on her chest. ‘I just felt it.’

‘You are too cute for words. I want to tell the story of you two getting together on your wedding. It’s too adorable not to tell.’

‘You’re free to do so, but you have to get him to date me first.’

‘We’re Tyrells. We’re pretty traditional where that’s concerned. I’m sure we’ll get him there.’

‘Perhaps just try to get him to fall in love with me first.’

‘Alright, will do.’

Margaery slid off the bed.

‘It’s about time I hung up the mistletoes.’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, come on, it’s a classic.’

‘And totally unbelievable.’

‘Guess how Garlan and Leo’s first kiss happened’, Margaery challenged.

‘No!’

‘Yes. Garlan and Leo came home from their high school prom and I’d hung up a mistletoe as it was December. Cocky as our men are, they’re a bit afraid to try anything. It gave him just the right amount of encouragement.’

‘How about you try and seduce him to join our snowball fight? Then you can encourage all his protective instincts when he has to keep you safe from the aim of my other brothers.’

‘It doesn’t make sense for me to ask him. Everyone will wonder when I ask him.’

‘Alright then, but do join me when I beg him.’

‘Fine.’

‘Now put on some proper clothes and then we’ll go downstairs.’

They were downstairs some time later. Loras and Renly were playing chess, Garlan was watching a Christmas movie and Willas was reading a book. A biography of Queen Daenerys the First.

‘Oh there you are! Perfect!’ Leonette cried. ‘Now we can go.’

‘Don’t think so’, Margaery said, walking over to the window with a glass of eggnog in her hands.

‘It’s literally snowing. I’m not going out in a snow storm!’

Leonette walked towards Margaery, but paused halfway. Sansa wondered what had distracted her.

‘Seven bless me!’ Leonette cried, running off towards the Christmas tree.

‘What? No! I searched everywhere this morning!’ Loras complained.

Leonette plucked the elf out of the tree, sticking out her tongue at Loras.

‘It shouldn’t have been on the tree.’

‘Well it was. And now I have it.’

Loras slumped back onto the couch.

‘Marg, why can’t we go out when it snows? It’s a snowball fight. It’s a bit silly to complain about the snow then.’

‘Would you jump into a pool when it rains? Same principle isn’t it?’ she complained.

‘Actually, I do that. _We_ have done that.’

‘Fair. So, everyone’s going, right?’ Margaery asked.

Everyone answered positevely instead of Willas, who just turned a page in his book. Sansa’s heart dropped.

‘Will, you’re not joining us?’

‘The teams are uneven then.’

‘So? It doesn’t matter. Sansa’s from the North so she has a lot of snowball fight experience. She basically counts as two.’

‘Experience in losing snowball fights’, Sansa grumbled.

‘Okay then Garlan counts for two since he has impeccable aim’, Margaery shrugged, chugging down her glass of eggnog.

‘Oh please, Willas?’

‘Yeah, come on dude, you’ve already been out in the snow once’, Garlan joined in.

‘Don’t be boring now’, Loras added.

‘The Mad Queen won’t have as much use of your company as we will’, Sansa said.

Willas looked up, eyes connecting with hers. She would have to get used to that without her belly doing backflips every single time. It was becoming pathetic.

‘Yeah, these are memories Will. One of the few joyful memories we’ll have of this plague ruined year’, Leonette begged.

He chewed on his tongue, keeping everyone waiting with his final decision.

‘Fine.’

He clapped his book shut.

‘I’ll come out.’

‘Oh, that will make Oberyn very happy’, Renly teased.

‘And you’ve just earned yourself my first snowball’, Willas calmly decided.

‘I agreed to going outside. That doesn’t equal building forts and running around’, he warned.

‘Just having you present is enough, big brother’, Margaery grinned, giving him a short hug before running out and back with his coat, gloves and scarf.

‘Here, before you chicken out.’

‘I don’t chicken out.’

‘Perfect’, Margaery smiled, turning around and giving Sansa a wink.

The snowball fight was pure chaos, despite the orderly start. To give Willas a level playing field they’d all taken ten minutes to make some snowballs in advance, and had agreed to not make walls to protect themselves It was going to be partners versus Tyrells, with one Tyrell on their team to support them, given that Loras and Garlan were indeed too good at ball sports. The person joining their team was Willas. Then everyone started throwing balls and running around. Dashing through the snow, ducking for balls, crying out when struck like wounded soldiers. Couples started aiming for their loved one, yells of sleeping on the couch and carpet were echoed across the field. Sansa didn’t even have to pretend to play the victim, Margaery made her one with her relentless attacks.

Everyone was running around and screaming and the last she remembered was running away from Margaery towards the snowman. Snowballs were breaking on her back. And then time slowed down. Loras raced after Renly past the snowman, his arm raising up to throw a ball bumped into the snowman and –

Off went his head.

Sansa dove forward, sliding through the snow on her knee, managing to catch it just in time.

Margaery wasn’t prepared for Sansa’s sudden halt and tried to cut off her run, but stumbled straight over her. They fell, stacked upon each other. Sansa could just feel the head disintegrate underneath her belly.

‘Oh no.’

‘Oh dear, you’re alright?’

‘You ask that now?!’ Sansa cried.

She grabbed the snow around her, throwing it at Margaery just like that, loose powder fluttering down around her.

But Margaery was more clever. She took a clump of the snowman’s head and –

‘Don’t you dare’, Willas threatened.

Margaery froze, looking over Sansa’s shoulder in terror.

‘Fuck.’

Margaery threw the snow clump at the same time as Willas threw his ball, hitting her straight on the beanie.

Sansa took another clump, throwing it at Margaery.

‘Unfair, unfair!’ she protested, scrambling back while throwing quickly formed snowballs that disintegrated before they found target.

‘I’m outnumbered.’

‘Well we are a team’, Sansa said as Willas threw another snowball at Margaery.

‘We’re supposed to work together’, Willas pointed out as Sansa threw the snowball she’d been forming.

‘Children, chocolate milk and cake!’ Alerie cried from the kitchen door.

Happy shouts rose from the battlefield, followed by the sound of running. Margaery jumped upright and ran away too.

‘The poor dear. A casualty of war.’

‘May the Stranger guide his path.’

‘No’, Sansa protested, gathering the largest clump that remained of his head and starting to roll it across the snow.

Willas stepped from behind her.

‘You still have some uhm… snow in your hair.’

‘Oh’, Sansa muttered, absently shaking a strand of her hair before continuing rolling the boll.

‘Not there’, he said softly. ‘Just, if I may…’

He reached out, gloved fingers gently lifting the strands and brushing out the snow.

Although her fingers were freezing, even with the gloves on, the fire in her belly kindled. He was touching her again. Surely someone who didn’t like her wouldn’t initiate as much touch?

She looked up with a smile. ‘Thank you.’

‘It’s nothing.’

The ball was finished.

Sansa stood, placing the ball on top of the snowman, pressing it on hard. She pressed her fingers around the edges of the ball, gluing it to the bigger one underneath.

‘There, all fixed, aren’t you dear?’ Sansa asked before pressing a quick kiss to the top ball.

‘Lockdown really is taking its toll if Frosty the Snowman is starting to look appealing,’ Willas teased as he and Sansa started walking over to the kitchen.

‘What are you talking about? Frosty is definitely the coolest Christmas date.’

Willas chuckled. ‘Definitely the coolest guy, no competition.’

Only two spots remained at the kitchen table, right beside each other. Sansa tore off her boots and coat before sitting across Margaery, who gave her a fat wink.

‘Worked, didn’t it?’

‘Hush’, Sansa breathed as Willas walked over.

‘I believe I have snow all the way down my back’, Sansa complained, curling her back and indeed feeling a trail of cold water trickle down.

‘You really suck at it for a Northerner, you know?’ Margaery asked.

‘I just don’t have good hand-eye coordination. I can make an igloo in record time though.’

‘Do you now? Well, I might take you up on that one tonight’, Margaery grinned.

She turned towards Willas, who had only just picked up his mug. He paused.

‘Yes, Margaery?’

‘Had fun?’

‘It whiled away the time.’

‘Always so understated. What, too cool to admit you enjoyed a childish snowball fight?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘Not as cool as Frosty over there though’, he muttered before taking a sip.

Margaery’s confused frown was comedic cold and Sansa couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Who’s Frosty?’ she demanded to know. Which only made Sansa’s fit of giggles worse.

Did Willas want to be as cool as Frosty? Did that mean he wanted her to kiss him? No, he was just joking, she was sure. He didn’t strike her as the type of guy to be so sly about things like that.

‘Frosty the snowman’, replied Willas calmly.

‘Hey, that’s a song right?’ Garlan asked.

‘You know it is’, Leonette replied.

Margaery shook her head in confusion.

‘Can you play it Willas?’

‘I think I can, it sounds easy enough. But I’m going to finish my cake first.’

He took another bite.

‘You know, this might be the first time I ate my liquor’, he admitted.

‘Oh there’s barely any in it anymore, it’s been cooked’, Sansa replied.

‘Yeah, like you didn’t eat boozed up gummy bears Willas’, Margaery shot.

‘I never did such an immature thing’, he shot back.

‘Maybe not that, but this certainly isn’t your first embellished cake. Indeed, it’s one of many’, Loras pointed out.

‘And which little underage brat always stole a piece? Don’t come for me because the dirt I have on you is infinitely worse’, Willas laughed.

The whole Tyrell clan laughed, even Loras.

‘Well, shouldn’t have put chocolate in it then. Too alluring.’

‘We should make one again, not telling granny and the parents. See what happens’, Garlan joked.

‘Oh you awful man, that’s entirely unethical’, Leonette giggled.

‘Could still make one for us though. I’m sure at least half of us have taken some of our stash home?’ Margaery asked with a grin. Sansa looked around the table and saw that Loras, Renly and Leonette weren’t making eye contact. That was just mind boggling.

‘Am I the only sane person at the table?’ Sansa muttered.

‘Only boring person’, Loras joked.

Margaery shot her apologetic glance. Her too. Of course. She should have known. Margaery’s favourite stress remedy.

‘I haven’t brought it if that helps’, Garlan replied.

‘Two boring people’, Loras replied.

‘Some people don’t need to seek relaxation that way, Loras. Keep it down. You’ve been sharp enough to everybody these past two days and it’s getting unpleasant. You’re past any age where such brattiness is even remotely charming', Willas commented.

‘And stop being a sore loser over Elf on the Shelf as well’, Leonette scolded.

Sansa threw Margaery a begging look. The Tyrell family really swung between fun family times and straight up combat without any warning.

‘Alright, you know what? Why don’t we all go and heat up in the living room? Willas, you were going to play that Frosty song, and since it’s the afternoon and the holidays we should watch a fun animated movie. So we can bicker about that while you play.’

‘Now I feel my talent is really being appreciated’, he noted wryly. He stood with his plate in hand.

‘Okay, come on kids. Let’s go and be sweet again, before mother overhears and fills our stockings with coal again.’

The rest rose with quiet chatter, not even trying to challenge the oldest.

‘Again?’ Sansa lipped at Margaery.

‘One time they got into a playfight that ended with the Christmas tree toppling over, all of them getting scratches from broken ornaments. And the dog got scratches as well. So mom filled their stockings with coal and they only got their gifts at New Year.’

‘Damn’, Sansa muttered as she followed Margaery into the living room.

‘Will we watch Bambi? Garlan asked.

‘That’s too sad. The Corpse Queen?’ Leonette asked. Sansa quite enjoyed the overly romanticized story about the Night’s King and his bride but…

‘How about the Song of Ice and Fire?’ Renly suggested. ‘That has more than enough snow and winter in it. And some romance.’

‘And some death’, Loras grinned. ‘Fine for me.’

‘Yeah’, the others agreed quickly.

Sansa sat down on the couch, eyes attached to Willas’ figure behind the piano.

His curls tumbled freely over his forehead when he bent his head, the dark locks obscuring his eyes. She caught his tongue darting past his lips while he focused. She thought back on a novel she read as a teenager where the protagonist also swooned over her older lover when he played the piano. She indulged the fantasy for a while, pretending the song was for her. She hummed along softly with the rich melody filling up the room.

Margaery sat down beside Sansa.

‘You’re staring.’

‘I’m allowed to, he’s playing.’

Margaery offered her glass of mulled wine , swirling it underneath Sansa’s nose.

Sansa took a sip and gave it back.

In the background, she could hear the DVD starting up.

Willas ended his song, and Sansa regretted her excuse for staring had come to an end.

‘Margaery’, Willas asked, voice accusatory.

Sansa looked back. He was standing, arms crossed, making his biceps really stand out in the black turtleneck.

‘Tell me that isn’t bottled mulled wine?’

Sansa looked to her friend, who was biting her lip. ‘Uhm.Yes?’

‘Was it in the house already, or did mom take in that bottled junk again?’

‘Ah… uhm. Well, I brought two bottles, why? What’s wrong?’ Renly asked.

‘Because Willas is a wine snob, Ren. Or have you forgotten he owns a wine store and delivers wine to the top five restaurants of Westeros?’ Loras sniggered.

‘Ah, right. I kinda forgot about that’, Renly mumbled.

‘So then what do we drink when we want wine that’s warm?’ Renly asked. ‘Surely you’re not suggesting we burn good wine?’

‘You’re not meant to burn wine while making mulled wine’, Willas pointed out, stalking over to the door.

‘Anybody else who wants mulled wine? But a proper one?’

All hands rose.

Margaery poked Sansa in her side.

‘Oof’, Sansa cursed under her breath. She lifted her eyebrows at Margaery, who lifted them back meaningfully, giving a slight nod at Willas. Sansa shook her head, but Margaery nodded.

‘How do you make it then?’ Sansa asked softly, chicken bumps raising all over her arms as Willas looked at her. Her palms were sweaty. This was way more straightforward than she liked to be.

‘Well come along and find out’, he said before turning around.

Sansa froze.

‘That’s an invite’, Margaery clarified. ‘Go you dummy.’

With a couple prods more Sansa rose, traipsing towards the kitchen.

She was about as nervous about going into the kitchen as she was when she had to venture in a room for an oral exam. She checked herself in the hallway mirror, tugging off her Christmas sweater, undoing some buttons of her blouse, rubbing her lips with some chapstick from her pocket and patting her hair until it lay flat again.

_Okay. Go._

Willas was rummaging the kitchen cabinets, bottles of red wine already on the counter beside the stove.

Sansa shimmied to the counter, picking up one of the bottles. Red Viper red wine. She turned it around. Full bodied, quite dry, intense blackberry, hints of cedar notes, slight spiciness.

‘It’s a Graciano’, Willas called from down the other side of the counter.

‘A what?’ she asked before she could stop herself. Great, now she would look like a noob. Again.

‘It’s a red grape kind. Typical to Dorne. Late bloomer, only thrives in a hot arid climate.’

‘Oh. Right’, she nodded.

He returned, hands filled with jars of spices, a smile on his face.

‘You have no idea what I just said, do you?’

‘I understood what you said. It’s only that I don’t think a lot about grapes. I know some like, Arbor golds, Riverrun blancs, Pinot Duskendales, Lannisport reds and I know Dornish reds exist. Enough to navigate the wine aisle’, she shrugged, not wanting to appear too unknowledgeable.

His eyes looked very small when he laughed. She noticed he had very thick dark lashes.

‘Decent enough knowledge for someone who isn’t occupied with it’, he decided, putting everything on the counter.

‘Those are mostly white ones though.’

‘Tannins make my tongue feel annoyingly dry. So I mostly stick to whites and rosé.’

‘But you like mulled wine’, he said.

‘And sangria. I guess as long as it has fruit in it, I’m game’, she smiled sweetly.

‘Alright then, you cut the oranges?’ he asked, rolling two over to her.

‘Fine. Uhm, where are the knives and perhaps a cutting board?’

‘Cutlery drawer is over there, cutting boards you can find up there.’

‘Okay, thanks.’

Sansa wondered if she had to sit at the kitchen table. That kind of put distance between them she didn’t like. But on the other hand, standing next to him really wasn’t good for her nerves.

She walked back to the stove, some two feet away from Willas.

‘Want to know why I’m picking this one? Or just want to drink?’ he asked, eyes dancing with amusement.

‘Well, I’m here to learn from the pro. I assume it makes a difference which one I use. Can’t very well use a white wine for it’, she joked.

‘Right you are. Alright, watch and learn.’

‘Alright master.’

 _Fuck. Sansa Stark. Way too dubious._ Her cheeks burned. She just imagined they looked as red as the wine. However, Willas didn’t pause. A slight blessing.

‘Always use a red. And preferably a dry one.’

‘Why dry if we’re adding sugar?’ Sansa asked.

‘Very good question.’

‘Will I get a good answer?’

‘No. Actually I don’t have one’, he grinned. ‘I’m just telling the rules. I never questioned them.’

‘Now I really feel inclined to try make it with a strongwine.’

‘Let me know how that goes’, he laughed.

The tension eased out of her shoulders. She was glad her comment hadn’t made it awkward.

Feeling impulsive, she jumped on the counter, sitting down to cut the oranges.

‘By all means, make yourself comfortable.'

‘Thanks, I will.’

‘You know, Margaery and Loras used to do that all the time’, he grinned as he measured the sugar.

‘I know, she still sits on the counter when we’re cooking. Guess I picked up a bad habit.’

‘Yeah, you won’t be picking up good habits from her.’

‘Margaery’s wonderful’, Sansa said, feeling she did have to stick up for her friend.

‘She is, and she’s the shining star of every company, but I doubt she has to teach you manners. I haven’t heard Margaery say as many “thank you’s” in a year as I heard you say in two days.’

‘Point taken.’

‘People usually go for either white sugar or honey, but I like to use half-half, because they both have a different flavour’, he continued.

‘Alright.’

‘Thirty-five grams of sugar’, he said as he dumped it in the pot.

‘Going to let that caramelize. So no touching… Wait, why am I explaining this to the person who made a caramel cake yesterday?’ he sighed, brushing back his curls.

‘It’s fine, you were in full teacher mode’, Sansa laughed.

‘Slices right, not cubes?’ she checked, even though she’d already sliced half of the first orange.

‘Yeah, slices.’

‘Shouldn’t you roll down you sleeves? Hot sugar, you know?’

Willas sucked in his cheek, looking at his hands.

Great move Stark, she chastised herself as she looked at his hands, some parts a glossy white and others a faded pink. He’d had to wring himself out of his burning car after being stuck for minutes. The fireproof gloves had only helped that much, and he hadn’t put them on properly.

‘Yeah, I don’t think it’ll matter much. Worst comes to worst I ruin a perfectly good shirt’, he decided.

‘I did yesterday’, Sansa admitted.

‘What?’

‘Ruin a perfectly good shirt’, she smiled. ‘During my second try.’

‘First got ruined?’

‘Second too, I was too preoccupied with my arm and shirt. It got burned’, Sansa confessed.

‘You had a really rough day yesterday, didn’t you? First the onions, then the caramel.’

‘Truly awful. Sweat and tears I shed on that meal’, she smirked.

He smiled back. ‘It was lovely though. Don’t slice half of the second one, we need the juice of that one.’

She nodded.

‘And here’s a lemon, we only need a little juice of it.’

She handed him the half orange and half of the lemon.

He gently squeezed it into the pot. The caramel hardened, but after some time it melted again, turning a lovely golden fragrant with citrus.

‘And now we can put the cloves in the orange slices’, he instructed as he unscrewed the jar, taking some out and putting them on cutting board.

‘Couldn’t let you grab them, your hands are probably still sticky’, he pointed out with a smile.

Instinctively, she brought a hand to her lips and licked at her thumb.

_Oh no._

‘Guess you’re right’, she quickly laughed, taking some of the cloves.

‘And then she takes them with her spit covered hand’, he joked.

‘Oh no’, she moaned, throwing herself off the counter.

Willas was properly laughing.

‘It’s fine, good thing there’s no pandemic or anything that’s transmittable through spit out there now, right?’

She put her hands under the faucet, furiously rubbing them with the rosemary soap.

‘Keep your eye on the caramel. Or you’ll have to start over as well.’

‘Oh!’

Now it was Sansa’s turn to laugh.

‘Alright, honey’, he decided.

‘What?’ Sansa asked, her legs locking where she stood next to him.

‘Honey?’ he repeated, lifting the jar of honey.

‘Oh right, honey, yes, Of course’, she laughed.

_Get a grip, Sansa._

She quickly continued putting the cloves into the orange.

Willas uncorked the wine, the sound of the glugging liquid killing the silence.

‘So that’s one of Oberyn’s wines, right?’ Sansa asked innocently.

‘Yeah. Dornish. He bought a vineyard some years ago, back when we were still racing. He bought it as a holiday spot, let someone with actual experience continue producing the wine. But in the end as we dropped out, he decided to get invested in it. I take it you guessed that because of the name?’ he asked, lifting the bottle.

Oberyn had named most of his wines after nicknames he’d gathered while on the tracks.

She nodded sheepishly.

‘Did you get in before or after?’

‘Together actually. He started talking about it around the second part of twenty-sixteen. And by January we’d both decided we wanted to enter the wine business. Me more as a business, he more as an interest-driven enterprise. So I became the exclusive seller of his wines, I quickly included other wines in my business, of course. Guess that business degree did come in handy, in the end’, he smiled at her.

She bit her tongue to keep from her mouth falling open. He was referencing their conversation from the garden party! He’d told her he’d been thinking about doing something with the degree back then. And according to his timeline, that had been about the time Oberyn started asking him to get involved in the wine business.

‘And you managed to combine it with something new you loved doing.’

‘I did’, he smiled. ‘Of course I didn’t just discover wines one year and decided to jump in half a year later. I already knew quite a lot. Fancy dinner parties, wine degustation, all that stuff. Started taking some evening school courses in the fall of that year to get to know more. But admittedly, I was still winging a lot of it that first year. Thinking back on it, I was really arrogant to jump in with as little experience and knowledge as I had.’

‘But it paid off wonderfully’, Sansa smiled, also referencing their conversation.

‘Guess it did’, he grinned, stirring the wine.

‘Ah, there we go’, he decided. ‘Now the honey, a bit of nutmeg. And some cinnamon’, he said, adding some sticks.

‘You can add in the orange slices’, he announced.

‘Oh, right.’

She brushed them off the board, moving to wash it and store it away again.

‘How long do we wait now?’

‘Oh, about ten to fifteen minutes’, he replied as she moved beside him once again.

The sizzling air was too much to bear, so she jumped on the counter again. Glad she didn’t have to look up at him anymore.

‘And now some star anise’, he explained, throwing in three star shaped pieces. ‘And reduce to a very low simmer.’

He looked up at her, frowning from underneath his straight eyebrows.

‘Did I already tell you not to let it boil?’

‘You didn’t.’

‘Well, never boil it. Ruins the alcohol, which is also why we add the wine last, so it isn’t boiled with the sugar. And it ruins the flavour as well. It should only be hot, never boiling.’

Sansa nodded, keeping his gaze. ‘Only hot.’

His eyes were a lovely caramel in the daylight. Hot molten caramel. She rubbed her palms on her trousers. Perhaps he wasn’t boiling the wine, but he certainly was boiling her blood.

She pushed up her sleeves.

‘Mm, smells delicious’, she announced, breaking the silence nervously.

‘Already want a bit?’ he asked.

‘Maybe’, she admitted.

Willas smiled and walked over to the glass cabinet, pulling out some glasses specifically designed for hot spirited beverages, with cute little ears for holding underneath the cups.

Taking out a pouring spoon, he filled half of a glass, handing it over.

She accepted it gratefully, taking a sip to occupy herself.

Willas leaned back on the counter, cocking his head as he watched her.

‘Sansa, did you happen to bring gifts or not?’

‘I did, ordered them just in time before we got here’, she replied.

‘Oh… Oh dear. We didn’t know’, Willas muttered.

He looked at the clock hanging above the kitchen door. It was past six already.

‘Two days left, guess we will all have to go shopping.’

‘Oh no, you needn’t, they were just small gifts. I just couldn’t come here empty-handed, leaching on your hospitality.’

They weren’t exactly small, since she really wanted to repay them for their kindness in letting her stay, but still, no gift exceeded thirty golden stags, except for her combi-gift for Alerie and Mace, since it was their house.

‘And we can’t leach on your kindness. Except for mom and dad, none of us have earned one… and maybe Margaery.’

‘You’re earning one right now. See it as wine class payment’, she smiled.

He rolled his eyes.

‘You’re as stubborn as my sister. No wonder you get along.’

‘No wonder I get along with anyone here then. You’re all stubborn in your own way.’

‘Even me?’ he questioned, leaning on his arm to look at her with furrowed brows.

‘Well you have just been arguing for over minute on how I should accept gifts.’

A smile cracked onto his face again.

‘Can’t even pretend not to be stubborn. You’re right.’

‘Of course I am.’

‘So modest.’

She gave him a soft push against the shoulder.

‘Hey, don’t be rude to your guests.’

When he looked up, her heart dropped. The hairs on her arms rose. She felt that familiar tension she always experienced before a kiss. Her breath stocked in her throat.

But the moment floated away when he broke eye contact.

‘My apologies, Lady Stark’, he said softly.

Her heart started beating again, throbbing with want, disappointment pulsing through her veins.

Why was she always expecting to be kissed? It was her own stupid fault for believing in fairy tales. Aside from one drunken kiss there was no reason to believe he was attracted to her. Everything he did and said could still be brushed off as just being kind and friendly.

He stirred the wine a last time.

‘I think it’s ready.’

‘Let’s go then, we’ve been missing the movie’, she said, letting out a breath of regret.

‘I’m sorry I kept you so long.’

‘No! No. I chose to come’, she rushed to say. ‘I’ve seen that movie plenty of times. I never learned to make mulled wine, the pro way’, she added.

His smile grew again.

‘Pleasure was mine. Thanks for keeping me company.’

‘No bother at all’, she said, feeling the sizzle in the air return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today in writing-land: wasting an hour on researching grapes. I swear I got the most random oddly specific collection of knowledge from writing.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed x


	5. Chapter 5

‘There you go, my dear’, Margaery smiled as she dropped the final curl. Sansa looked at herself in the mirror.

‘Won’t it come across like I’m trying too hard?’

‘Like anyone is bold enough to ask you why your hair is curled. Besides, I curl and iron my hair all the time without rhyme or reason, so they won’t question you.’

Sansa chewed on her cheek as she checked the simple cotton shirt and long pleated skirt. It was regular dress for her, yet she felt afraid she wore her intentions on her sleeve.

‘If you say so.’

‘I do’, Margaery pressed.

‘I admit I’m feeling a lot like that one crab from that animated movie, orchestrating all the animals to work together to set a mood in which the prince would kiss the mermaid.’

‘The crab failed though’, Sansa sighed.

‘Well, I’m better than him. I’m Margaery fucking Tyrell.’

Sansa laughed, raking a hand through her hair.

‘I won’t push you any further today. You’ve done enough. Now it’s time to just enjoy yourself and be beautiful.’

‘I think I can do that.’

‘I know you can.’

Margaery and Sansa tumbled into the living room.

‘Behold the queens of the castle have deigned the commoners worthy of a visit!’ Margaery laughed.

Sansa froze, all eyes were on them.

Fuck.

Luckily it weren’t too many eyes. Only Alerie, Willas and Olenna were in, all reading.

‘Have you seen our wonderful snow castle, mommy?’ Margaery asked, undaunted by the eyes.

‘I did. Looks very realistic and medieval.’

‘It’s Winterfell. Sansa managed to make a perfect replica, if I may say so myself.’

‘Have you ever been?’ asked Willas mockingly.

Alerie paused. Sansa could see a look of worry on Olenna’s face as well as she pretended not to look up from her book.

‘Dear, she’s been there multiple times in the past.’

Willas didn’t blink until his hand rubbed up and down his face.

‘Let me guess, I wasn’t around enough to know?’

Alerie nodded quietly.

‘Want to go outside with a picture and verify whether my statement is correct, Willas?’ Margaery decided to tease instead.

‘We didn’t include the hot water running through the walls though, so I’m afraid you will need a coat when you go out’, Sansa said softly.

He looked up, mirth pulling at the corners of his mouth. But his eyes were still filled with embarrassment.

‘Yeah, you’ll have to heat up in the sauna like we did’, Margaery grinned. ‘We already preheated it, so you’ll get warm quicker.’

Sansa bit her lip. She wasn’t that oblivious that she didn’t understand Margaery was trying to evoke the imagine of an undressed Sansa.

‘I’m cool’, Willas said calmly.

The butterflies reawakened in Sansa’s belly, her mind going back to Frosty’s coolness.

‘Of course, because it’s cold outside’, Margaery grinned before moving over to the stereo and connecting it to her phone.

Sansa’s heart dropped.

What was she going to do?

Oh dear.

Coper instruments opened the song, followed by Ella Fitzgerald’s vocals.

‘I really can’t stay’, she sang.

‘Sansa, dance with me’, Margaery asked seductively, twirling towards her at a velocity that made her skirts twirl around her.

‘What, here?’

‘Oh pft, why not? Remember our agreement?’

She couldn’t. Not in front of Willas. It would be too awkward. However, would Margaery willingly put her in a situation that would make her look bad? This was just her pride and insecurity.

She took Margaery’s outreached hand, allowing the girl to pull her closer. Margaery modestly put her hand high on Sansa’s waist, and Sansa returned the favour. They peacefully moved through the room on the rhythm of the music, one pair of hands joined and the other holding each other’s backs. This was alright. Nothing too embarrassing. Sansa wasn’t the one singing along out of tune, after all. That was all Margaery.

‘Starting a lockdown party?’ Garlan joked. Sansa shrieked, immediately quitting her movement.

‘Actually, yes’, Margaery said. ‘Sansa and I realized in September that we hadn’t danced in over half a year and thought that was a shame. So now we dance whenever we feel like it. Join us’, Margaery invited with a shrug.

Leonette had by that point appeared beside Garlan, the two never far apart. The two looked at each other, shrugging before walking in.

‘We were reading here. Peacefully if I might say’, Willas muttered.

‘Oh hush darling, they’re right. It’s been so long since they’ve had the opportunity to dance’, Alerie responded.

The idea that Willas disapproved of their dancing made Sansa hesitate, but Margaery took her hand again and pulled her along with an Ariana Grande Christmas song, mimicking it so hilariously Sansa was laughing not half a minute later, her worries quickly slipping from her shoulders as Margaery shook her arms in silly excuses for dance moves.

From the corner of her eye Sansa saw Garlan turning up the volume before running back to Leonette, who was already sniggering.

‘Oh oh! Even louder Garlan!’ Leonette cried when the song was replaced by Mariah Carey.

‘Yes!’ cried Margaery, throwing up her arms.

Even Sansa couldn’t stop herself from waving with her arms, crossing her arms when singing she didn’t want a lot for Christmas, holding up her finger to signal the one thing she needed and throwing her arms forward, pointing towards Margaery to say she wanted her.

Loras and Renly appeared in the door, attracted by the music. Renly didn’t allow his boyfriend to pout or make any scathing remarks, dragging him along no questions asked.

Margaery and Sansa started playing on imaginary drums, eyes crinkled with laughter now that they had almost gotten the entire house to start dancing.

‘Talk about a contagious case of Christmas spirit ey?’ Margaery laughed.

Sansa dug up her best dance moves from the sixties while Margaery contented herself with shaking her hips and playing the drums, unless she could point at Sansa when the song asked for it.

‘Cause I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight!’ Margaery sang as she pulled Sansa’s back against her chest, moving their hips together on the beat of the music.

‘You should point at Willas’, she whispered in her ear.

‘What, no!’

Margaery grabbed her wrist and spun her outward before dropping her arms and starting to drum again. Her dance moves masked the shrugging motion, but not the sly smile. Sansa shook her head, continuing to dance as if nothing happened.

So far Margaery’s promise not let Sansa off the hook tonight in regards to Willas. She couldn’t even look at him, afraid that if she did, she’d be self-aware all over again.

‘This is awkward’, she heard Loras mutter as he and Renly danced past them.

‘It’s family, doubt they’ll judge.’

Margaery swung her and Sansa closer to the Christmas tree when Rocking Around The Christmas Tree started, producing her best old fashioned dance moves.

After twirling around the whole living room, knocking into every couch and the large dining table, Sansa was in dire need of a break.

‘Margaery please, I can’t. I need some water.’

‘Then go grab it and return. Oh, and take some for me. Shoo, be quick.’

Sansa only dared to steal a glance at the couches once she was out, and noticed to her confusion that only Willas and Olenna remained. She wondered what Margaery’s motive had been to start dancing in front of him. She actually didn’t get any of it. Why did she insist on forcing Willas to go out in the snow or watch people dance, things he would probably struggle with? It was Margaery, so she probably had some good reasons, but they really weren’t clear. She’d ask her. Despite her friend’s intelligence, she sometimes needed Sansa’s guidance.

She turned her face away from the living room, noticing light emanating from an open door across the hallway.

The study.

Her curiosity spurred her on, pushing her to the other side of the hall on her tiptoes. Peeking in from halfway across the hall, she spotted Alerie and Mace softly swinging along to the music as they tenderly held each other. A smile grew onto her face. That was sweet. Allowing them their privacy, she cut her snooping and went to the kitchen.

When she returned the others were still dancing, but Willas and Margaery –

They were standing. Sansa hesitated, not knowing whether to approach.

‘Oh but I insist. It’s too sad otherwise.’

‘Marge’, Willas sighed.

‘I don’t mind sharing.’

‘You know it’s not just that.’

‘Trying doesn’t hurt. You were fine this afternoon weren’t you?’

‘It’s a bit different.’

‘Only a bit’, Margaery said, turning towards Sansa.

‘Oh there you are. And you have my water!’ she cried enthusiastically, accepting the water from a hesitantly approaching Sansa.

‘I found you a dance partner while I drink… And have some cake. All that exercise got me hungry.’

Sansa would kill her. For real this time. Asking Willas to dance with her? Was she out of her mind? She had the subtlety of a wrecking ball.

The noise coming out of Sansa’s mouth didn’t sound very enthusiastic.

‘Come on, I’ll feel guilty if you’ll have to sit down for over half an hour because of me’, Margaery said, grabbing one of Sansa’s hands.

‘You don’t want to stop a girl from dancing, do you?’ Margaery asked, turning towards Willas.

‘I – well no, but…’

‘Well, glad we have it sorted then’, Margaery decided, pushing Sansa’s hand against Willas’ chest. He instinctively grabbed it.

Sansa’s cheeks burned with embarrassment as their joined hands fell down. His palm was rough and hard underneath her own. Leathered by use, she recognized. It was the same with Bran.

‘What Margaery wants, Margaery gets’, Sansa laughed, but it fell flat.

Willas cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, we indulged her too much as a child.’

‘You don’t have to’, Sansa felt herself compelled to say.

She looked up, and at once felt dizzy at the height difference. Her heart stuttered, confused by the tenth heart attack of the day.

‘No, no. It’s fine’, he rushed to say. ‘It’s only… Well…’ he grit his teeth, eyes beseeching the ceiling to give him strength. ‘I don’t know if I’ll be any good.’

It was the leg. She was making wild assumptions here, she’d only seen him a handful of times before this after all, but she hadn’t seen him dancing or joining a party since that first time so many years ago. It was clear that first year he hadn’t been in any shape to dance. And he had his operation of January this year. She doubted he was able to dance again before the lockdown started in March. Knowing he struggled with his leg before and was in a lot of pain…

_Shit, this might actually be his first time trying to dance since New Year’s Eve five years ago._

_And now he’d immediately be dancing with me, with his whole family to watch._

Any second attempt would depend of the success of this one. If he had a bad and awkward time, he might not try to dance again for another so many months or years. Couldn’t Margaery give her a less daunting task?

That was quite the pressure she set on them both. He having to perform something for the first time since his injury in front of so many people, and she having to impress and encourage him at once, without making him feel like a failure if it didn’t go smoothly.

‘Doesn’t have to be good as long as it’s fun’, Sansa smiled.

His frown spoke volumes of his doubt.

‘I mean, did you see some of our moves over there?’ Sansa asked.

That earned a smile.

The song faded, and for some divine reason was followed up by Frosty the Snowman.

‘Now you have to’, Sansa encouraged.

He rolled his eyes, but no second after she felt his hand on her waist. Her breath halted. His hand was high but heavy against her ribcage. She smiled as she placed her hand on his shoulder, raising their other hands at shoulder height. She could feel him inhale sharply, eyes unhappily looking at their joined hands.

From the second he lifted his leg she followed, already knowing what kind of step he was going for. It was the smallest waltz ever, their steps no bigger than a foot. His hips and legs were stiff like a ruler, but she understood.

She looked up, mindful to never stop fully smiling, even though her nerve endings were burning away at his touch. His look was turning from unhappiness in confusion. He didn’t look at her, but he did look over her shoulder. And that was enough to make him forget his steps and trip over Sansa’s feet. She immediately reached out for his hip, planting her feet firmly onto the ground. She had been expected a trip and was ready to catch him. He didn’t even stumble.

‘I’m afraid I’ve made you something of a spectacle’, he muttered.

‘I’m afraid that honour goes entirely to Margaery’, Sansa pointed out. His gaze flickered to her, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

‘They’re all looking.’

‘I think they’re looking at you. Not at me’, Sansa replied calmly. ‘Do you want to stop?’

She wished he didn’t. But she herself was painfully familiar with the crippling anxiety that came from being watched and fearing the thoughts people were having. Willas didn’t strike her as very insecure, but this might be one of those few cases where insecurity could rise. He wasn’t in his strength here. He was being vulnerable, doing something that might go wrong.

He grit his teeth, looking up at her with determination.

‘Margaery isn’t done with her cake yet.’

And that was that.

The song transitioned into Last Christmas.

‘We’re going through the full Christmas playlist’, Sansa joked.

She hated how Last Christmas had become her anthem this year. No more bad boys, hopefully only good ones.

‘Sounds like it. Two weeks of Christmas holidays is enough to never want to hear Christmas music again until the next year’, Willas grinned.

‘Hm’, Sansa hummed as Willas put his arm around her again. She placed her hands back where they belonged. Willas’ chin dipped, and she could see he was counting. She guessed she’d be rusty too if it had been so many years.

He moved his left leg forward. She instinctively followed, taking a step behind with her right one just as he moved his right foot forward, but not as far as she thought. He was going for a slow. She put her left foot beside his own, her hip already instinctively swaying.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done anything but grinding against a boy in a sweaty nightclub. And the last time she’d had any lessons had been a gazillion years ago, but the cradle foxy. She inhaled, keeping her eyes glued to his face.

It was queer to look at him from this close, there was barely an arm between them. She could see his eyebrow dent as he counted in his head, and then his lips moved. She stretched her head to hear, and was taken by surprise by his footwork as he pivoted them into another direction.

‘Oh!’

She couldn’t help but let out a breath of laughter. He looked down, the frown finally replaced with a smile. He could twist on a leg. She assumed it was his good one but it was still lovely. His steps became faster, and she found herself smiling as he lead her through the dance. His hips were starting to defrost, softly swaying as well now.

Another pivot. They were taking up more space now, exploring the room.

Her steps became bigger in response to his and then –

He lifted their hands. She paused half a second before her coin fell. She immediately moved to make a slow turn underneath their joined hands before she returned to his arms.

Her heartbeat was calming down again. They had this. His hand slid further along her back, the distance between them shrinking. Her instincts that had served her well before were now working against her, pushing her to continue acting according to template. At this point she usually already had her head against their chests. But she couldn’t do that. He wasn’t her boyfriend.

He pushed their joined hands towards her, hand slipping away from her waist.

She pirouette outward, stretching her free arm in a flourish, flashing him a broad grin before she turned herself inward, making sure to collide with his chest very softly. He kept up their joined hands at her shoulder. She rested her other hand on her hip, where it met his second.

The butterflies climbed upward into her chest, their wings flapping against her lungs. Another breathy laughter tumbled form her mouth.

This close she could smell his clean perfume, lavender and cedar tickling her nostrils. His breath brushed her neck. It was too much. It was entirely too much and too little at once. And then she felt him pull, and out she twisted.

She met his gaze briefly before he hauled her in again, and she was surprised by the softness she found there. There was none of the calculation or hesitancy in it she’d seen before. The music faded as he held her, her hand in his, and his other burning through the fabric around her waist.

She could hear his breathing. It was deep and laboured like her own. She looked up slowly, knowing that once she looked they would have to face that the song had ended. He looked back a soft smile still on his face.

‘Afraid you’ll be any good?’ she teased.

He chuckled, looking down. His curls casting shadows on his lovely face.

‘I didn’t know.’

So these had been his first two dances since the accident. It wouldn’t hurt to tell him it had been incredible.

‘Well, it was pretty good by my book.’

His smile wobbled. Clearly touched.

It probably wasn’t by his. He had once been used to dancing all night long. She could see it in his eyes. But he probably didn’t want to draw attention to that. Probably didn’t want a memory of a time long gone by to torture them in a present that was so pleasant. Or maybe that was her, wishing his past didn’t haunt them.

‘The next one?’ he only asked.

They started their dance much like the one before stepping and swaying, pivoting and pirouetting Sansa until her skirts flared wide open. And then, in one adventurous cocky moment, when she was pulled flushed against his chest, he dipped her.

Simultaneous with his sharp intake of breath, she felt his balance slip. Their whole position crumbling to the left. His free hand yanked on her shoulder as she clawed for his right arm. They both swung their weight to the right as she pulled herself up.

They stood. She didn’t fall.

Disaster was averted.

She clung to his chest, nails dug deeply into his shirt as she inhaled and exhaled.

The others were talking. Saying words, but she could only hear her own breathing as she rested her head against his shoulder.

‘It’s fine’, Willas growled.

She could feel his chest rumble when he formed his words, she noted distantly.

A hand came to rest on her waist.

‘Sansa, are you alright?’

‘Yeah’, she breathed. ‘Just… surprised’, she admitted.

_Alright Stark, you’ve taken your time now. Pull yourself together._

She straightened her back, looking back up at him.

His gaze was remorseful and in no small part ashamed.

‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

‘Why are you sorry, you caught me, didn’t you?’ she asked.

He frowned, obviously still disappointed with himself.

‘My knee and I weren’t on the same page regarding what I was about to do’, he explained softly.

‘Did your knee plan on sweeping a girl off her feet?’ she teased.

He laughed at that, throwing his head back.

Crisis averted, she regained her own smile.

‘Perhaps we should end it here, before my knee starts getting more ideas.’

Sansa really didn’t know what to respond to that. Willas too, realized that comment was beyond propriety and looked at least a bit guilty when he realized it, gapping for air like a fish.

‘I didn’t… mean it like that.’

She realized her hands were still hooked into his shirt.

‘It’s fine’, she assured him as she stretched her fingers. She would be sad to lose her excuse to touch him.

‘I had a fun time’, she pushed again. Willas nodded, but before he could respond his attention was stolen away by his sister, who popped up right beside them.

‘Sansa, darling, ready for a second round with me?’ Margaery asked, appearing beside them again. Knowing their dance was to end anyways, Sansa agreed. She needed to chat it over and dancing with Margaery would allow her just that.

‘Thanks for taking her over Willas, you can go back to your very interesting book now’, Margaery decided.

Now that she had let Willas go, she allowed herself to look around again. The others weren’t looking at her and Margaery. Perhaps they had all looked when she danced with Willas, but she told herself that would be mostly due to the rarity of him dancing.

‘I’m going to bloody murder you Margaery. What were you thinking?’

‘I thought it was about time my brother tried to dance. He is too proud and too afraid to ask someone to practice. So I gave him a partner and a reason to do it. I reasoned that if anyone in this house could encourage him without making him feel like he is being tested, it is you. And now he had a positive experience thanks to you. I reasoned you wouldn’t be opposed to getting some touchy-feely time with him either. So you see, I took both parties into account.’

‘That was a big risk.’

‘But it looked like you had fun’, Margaery smiled. ‘Didn’t you?’

‘We did’, Sansa admitted.

‘Got enough material to fill your dreams?’

‘Stop’, Sansa hushed. Margaery to her credit did shut up and lead them away from the other couples.

‘If anyone overhears I’ll go home. I’ll walk to Winterfell and never come back. I won’t survive the humiliation.’

‘Sansa, I think he likes you’, Margaery pointed out softly.

‘Or he just liked to discover he could dance again.’

‘You think he would have smiled like that if it were me, mommy or Leonette?’ Margaery questioned, raising her eyebrows.

‘Maybe.’

‘You fool of a Stark.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to keep this nice and fluffy. I rewrote this chapter thrice. But Sansa and Willas just kept angsting all over the place so I kept some of it in.
> 
> I was also going for a not-too-many-chapters-per-day thing, but the chapter became 18000 words. And I think it flows better split into three. So enjoy December 23th, part 1.

It was the day before Christmas and the second Sansa Stark opened her eyes, she knew she ran behind on work. This was a simple fact. She should be at least ninety pages further than she was now. Knowing she would absolutely not work on the 25th and preferably not during the 24th either if she could avoid it, she’d have to work her way through at least 190 pages today. Which was… fine, she supposed. She had about ten hours’ time to do it, while still taking a two hour break for dinner and an hour long lunch break. She could even add more breaks or longer breaks if she was willing to work past midnight. Which she was also fine with.

The only problem was –

Getting out of bed was really hard. Her blankets were warm, it was snowing outside, and she’d rather waste her entire day watching movies, drinking hot chocolate, chatting with Margaery and looking at Willas.

A cold shower was what she needed.

 _Or perhaps a cold swim?_ Her brain supplied. The Tyrells had a whole pool in their home. What had once upon a time been a Targaryen Restoration era courtyard was now covered by a glass ceiling that could be opened in summertime and closed in wintertime, so the pool and sauna could be enjoyed all seasons. She’d regretted that it had been dark when she went there with Margaery the previous day. She imagined the bright light of day combined with the water would do wonders to wake her up. 

She threw off her blankets, slipping into the bathroom and locking the other door. Best she go down first, before too many people were up and decided to have a swim as well. Not that she could complain, it was their pool. Still, she wasn’t exactly excited to share a pool with Mace Tyrell. All alone. Her nose crinkled as she brushed her teeth. No, that would just be weird.

Perhaps she should ask Margaery. She skipped over to Margaery’s room in her bathing suit with a dress quickly thrown over. Predictably, Margaery was dead, voice croaking with sleep as she begged Sansa to give her an hour more.

Alone it was. She slipped downstairs with her towels and phone so she could keep track of time, navigating the myriad of hallways in the old house. The smell of chlorine grew stronger, giving the location away. 

Sansa wasn’t alone.

The sound of someone doing strokes reached her right as she opened the door. There was a flash of brown hair and pale skin as the water was cleaved apart. It was one of the Tyrell brothers. As her mind ran over the possibilities, her eyes landed on a bunch of towels laying right beside the stairs out of the pool.

And right on top of an outstretched towel lay a thin black and silver aluminium construction with elegant curves and a long socket. A leg. Right. Just Sansa’s luck.

No sooner had she figured out which Tyrell she had in front of her than he broke through the surface, throwing back his curls in an obscenely smooth move.

Retreat was the recommended course. However it was also kind of immature to run away, wasn’t it? She didn’t have a logical reason to support her instinct. Except that she felt she was invading a very private moment. Despite her instinct, she was rooted to the floor as she watched him rub the water from his eyes. There was just so much skin, all of it uncharted territory she had never been allowed to see but had fantasized about in ways she never should have. She felt bad for thinking about someone that way when they neither asked for it nor wanted it. It was invasive, but her hormonal urges were too strong.

His arms were indeed as broad as she had felt yesterday. And his chest, dripping with water, was covered with just the right amount of hair her previous boyfriends had never possessed.

 _Stop ogling, announce your presence. You’re being more and more of a creep every second you don’t alert him,_ her brain scolded.

‘Uhm’, Sansa muttered.

‘Sansa’, Willas exclaimed, evidently startled. Sansa’s guilt increased.

‘I uhm. I should go. I didn’t think anyone was here’, she muttered.

Willas, usually quick to respond, seemed hesitant for once. ‘No, no’, he replied, his voice more questioning than answering. ‘It’s fine.’

‘I can come back at a later time, really’, she exclaimed, mortification deepening.

_Not welcome, not welcome._

‘You… It… Two can swim in a pool’, he argued.

_He’s saying it to be kind. That doesn’t look like a man jumping to hang out with you in his trunks._

‘You’re sure?’ she found herself asking. ‘You… It’s your home. You don’t need to say yes just out of politeness.’

‘It’s just ridiculous’, he sighed. Her eyes grew, her heart stopping to function.

‘No, not you. This. It doesn’t make sense to send you away. It’s a pool, over twenty people are in it at once in summer.’

She fidgeted with the towel. He was right. There was no objective reason why they couldn’t. Yet it felt wrong. Did it feel wrong because it was wrong? Or was it because she was nervous and crushing on him and this felt too intimate because of that? She might just be seeing her own hesitancy in his eyes.

‘It’s a bit like underwear though’, Sansa stammered.

‘What?’

‘Well, I mean… Not literally but… if you go to a beach you agree to be seen in your swimwear, yet when someone sees us in our underwear unwanted, we feel ashamed. It has to do with whether you give permission to be seen’, she stuttered.

‘Not… that there’s… any reason why… you wouldn’t want to be seen. It’s not like you look bad – oh seven help me’, Sansa begged, her cheeks burning red.

‘Are you fine with it?’ Willas asked quietly.

‘What?’

‘Obviously you didn’t expect company’, Willas pointed out.

Sansa shrugged. His, she didn’t mind. Although, it was awkward. Incredibly awkward. And she didn’t expect it would get better after this. It would without a doubt be the most awkward swim of her life.

_But if I leave, will he see that as me not wanting him to see me?_

How could it be that Margaery had pushed her into two very forced situations yesterday that by all accounts should have been awkward but weren’t, and she made things awkward with the first activity she decided to undertake on her own?

‘Neither did you’, she defended.

‘We’re like those two people wanting to enter a door, stuck in repeat saying: “After you”. Aren’t we?’ he asked.

She let out a small laugh. ‘I guess we are.’

That settled it then. Either one of them would cut the crap and get out. Or she’d get in. This was like choosing between greyscale and the plague.

_Now it has to be swimming. You won’t be able to study with this conversation running through your mind._

‘You’re sure it’s fine?’

‘As long as it is for you’, he responded, wading further away from the edge until his chest disappeared into the deep end.

Vanity tugged at her conscious, driving its hooks into her already nervous mind. She straightened up to look as elegant as possible while pulling off her woollen dress. She knew the lack of reasons to move around and the constant access to food hadn’t done her figure much favour. But there was nothing to do about that now. She felt the need to dive in immediately. As much as she’d stared at Willas, she felt hesitant to show too much of her own body.

Splashes alerted her that Willas was moving.

‘You are up early’, Willas called.

They would try to have an amiable conversation. Of course, why couldn’t they? They were two reasonable adults. It’s not because Sansa panicked like a prepubescent girl that Willas couldn’t act with dignity and charm.

‘Yes, I had to wake up early to catch up on some studying today. I did frightfully little of it the past few days’, she admitted as she took her first few steps into the water. It wasn’t cold, but it definitely wasn’t hot. She drew a breath between her teeth.

‘I’m sure you’ll make it.’

‘You don’t even know whether I’m a good student’, she shot, her mind too frazzled by her nerves to choose gentler words.

‘I indeed do not’, he admitted. He was closer now, though still mostly obscured by the water. She sat down on the middle part of the staircase so that she was covered until her belly.

‘Are you?’ he then asked.

‘I am’, she admitted with a small smile. ‘Were you?’

‘I could have been, hadn’t I been preoccupied with other things. Studying for exams in the busy month of June between personal training sessions, papering in between parties. I wonder if I could have been really clever had I applied myself more’, he explained.

Margaery was like that as well. Incredibly clever, yet never fully committed to her studies, as if it was just another thing to do. But now their student years were behind them it was Margaery who had a long list of engagements and experiences to recommend herself beyond her average grade, while Sansa only had her good grades.

‘Sometimes I wonder what things I could have done, if I hadn’t been so preoccupied with my courses’, Sansa muttered. She was surprised by her own earnestness. She’d never admitted that to someone. Her parents wouldn’t understand that she’d done anything wrong and telling others would come across as bratty. And it would only highlight –

‘You are a perfectionist?’ he asked, drifting closer.

She crawled a stair lower, inhaling as the cold cut straight through her blue bathing suit.

‘Yes.’

‘That explains. So am I. So is Loras. Fortunately the others have escaped that fatal flaw.’

‘What does it explain?’ Sansa swallowed.

‘You wanted perfection, so you focussed. First you’re beating yourself up over not completely devoting yourself to your goal. And once you’ve reached that goal, you’ll find that you haven’t done something else perfectly because you focussed on the first goal. And then you start hating your previous goal and yourself. Don’t do that. Speaking from experience, devoting your life to one thing won’t do you good, nor will demanding perfection from yourself.’

Sansa sucked on her cheek. Fear seeping into her chest. She had always been afraid of the pitfalls of perfectionism, but never had that fear cut as deep as it did now. He didn’t need to explain more. From his utter devotion to his now ruined sports career to Loras’ past eating disorder and constant giving up of everything he didn’t immediately succeed at, she knew all too well what he was talking about.

‘I know’, she muttered. ‘It’s hard though. It gnaws at me.’

He nodded without responding.

‘However, I do believe I have a balance. Kept some free hours in my day. And I’m only cutting out some free time so I can have it tomorrow. I can do moderation.’

‘That is a talent no one in this family possesses’, Willas laughed. ‘Speaking of moderation, someone has gone fully overboard with Christmas decorations last night. This morning mysterious mistletoes have appeared all over the house.’

‘Oh dear’, Sansa muttered, faking concern.

‘Yeah, so do check the ceiling every now and then if you don’t want to get caught unaware.’

‘Thank you.’ She looked towards the water stretching out in front of her. She winced at the prospect of working out and inserting herself completely in the cold water.

‘What is it, afraid to get wet?’ Willas chuckled.

‘I suppose I’m mentally preparing’, she admitted with a laugh.

She took a deep breath, eying the water again, all too aware of Willas staring at her. There was little special about seeing a person swim, but his presence made her incredibly nervous.

‘Just bite the bullet, the longer you wait the more thoughts and feelings you can have about it.’

Sansa nodded, not even questioning why he was giving her advice on how to swim. He was right though. The advice was applicable to many situations. The longer she delayed something the harder it always became to do it.

‘One, two, three’, and off she pushed herself. The first splash of water against her chest knocked the breath right out of her, but the sting was quickly replaced with a delightful cool sensation that battled the flush she’d gotten from talking to Willas. She forbade herself from looking his way, slicing through the water with small slow strokes.

She hit the other side, clutching her fingers around the edge to catch her breath. By the time she turned around, Willas was out of the pool and on the towel, a second large towel thrown over his shoulders. His back was turned towards her, and she couldn’t see anything else. She looked away. He deserved privacy. She closed her eyes again, pushing herself off the edge. By the time her second lap was finished, Willas was standing, a long towel tied around his waist.

She hastily turned away again, preparing herself for her next lap when his voice halted her.

‘I’ll leave you to it then.’

She turned towards him, rising from the water. His chest was still a marvel, and now that he had called her attention, she allowed herself to look. Noticing in surprise that his skin was not a clear canvas. The golden Tyrell family crest was needled into the skin of his left shoulder, and right above the elbow of the same arm was a circlet of words in what looked to be the old tongue. Her mouth ran dry.

‘Yes’, Sansa said, swallowing in an attempt to clear her throat. ‘Have a nice day.’

‘Thanks, good luck studying.’

Sansa nodded, turning back towards the water and starting her swim, only allowing herself to stop and breathe once he’d left.

She’d survived, brief as it had been. She did not doubt that he’d rushed to get out as soon as possible once it wasn’t impolite anymore.

She wondered whether she could have done anything to help make their encounter less awkward. Perhaps she could have left immediately, or pretended it wasn’t a big deal to see her crush undressed.

She’d felt exposed and vulnerable, and had started stuttering and stammering because of it. But he’d been nervous too. She recognized the tension in his shoulders. Willas always tensed as soon as his leg became a topic. Margaery confirmed yesterday that he avoided testing his leg if he feared he could fail a test.

If she combined that with his confession that he was a perfectionist, it became clear he still expected a perfect performance of himself, and wished to avoid every situation in which he couldn’t present himself as perfect. His leg had literally been the elephant in the room now.

She let herself sink to the bottom of the pool, drowning out all noise. She couldn’t understand it. He was gorgeous. A multimillionaire. Successful business owner. College graduated. There wasn’t a thing on earth he’d started he hadn’t absolutely aced. It made no sense for him to be insecure. But then her mother also told her plenty of times it made no sense for her to feel like an incompetent failure, yet she did on the regular.

In that instant she wanted nothing more than to smash her lips against him and worship him, inhale all his secrets and blow away every insecurity that hid within. She didn’t know what it was that made her so desperate to have him anymore. The desire just was. And it had been so long that the idea of it ever stopping seemed unfathomable.

The last remnants of air were pressing against her lips, begging to get out. She pushed herself off the tiles, propelling towards the surface.

Everything would have to wait. Uni came first.

 _The holiday only lasts until the third though,_ her mind whispered as she swam towards the other side. _After that every chance of seducing Willas is off the table._

 _But Willas isn’t a guarantee, far from it._ Even if she put her work aside it was possible nothing came of it. While something would definitely come of her degree. Willas could wait until the evening, she decided. Or longer. Insecurity gnawed at her again. Her desire for him meant nothing if he didn’t want her. She would let him approach her next time.

The swim had done her good, and filled her body with fresh energy. Although it definitely hadn’t succeeded in getting everything off her mind. She still managed to force her mind to focus. She worked until one, taking her lunch back to her room so she wouldn’t ruin her momentum. With no small amount of satisfaction she checked off her hourly goals one by one.

At four Margaery came in to check up on her.

‘If this is about some family tradition that will once again keep me busy until dinner’, Sansa started.

‘No, I just came in to check. We’re not planning anything. You doing alright?’

‘Yeah, you?’

‘On schedule. Today’s schedule, that is… Which contains half of yesterday’s work. But I’ll manage’, Margaery shrugged.

‘I ran behind too’, Sansa admitted.

Margaery walked over to Sansa’s bed, sitting down and taking her phone.

‘Leonette just texted me, asking whether we would play a boardgame.’

‘Tonight perhaps’, Sansa decided.

‘Maybe I’ll go down for one game, if it’s a short one’, Margaery pondered.

‘Doesn’t Leonette ever go to her own family around the holidays?’ Sansa asked.

‘No. Leonette’s parents separated. Her stepmom’s mean and her biological mother is too busy with the children she got with her second husband.’

‘Oh the poor thing.’

‘Yeah. It’s been a long time since she’s been sad about it though. We really absorbed her and Renly into our family, neither of them has a close-knit family to fall back on. I really pity them sometimes – hey, is that your bathing suit? Why is it wet?’

‘I went for a swim this morning.’

‘Oh’, Margaery said, her brow creasing.

‘Bumped into Willas.’

‘Oh’, Margaery’s voice lowered, concern growing in her eyes.

‘Yeah’, Sansa sighed.

‘Guess it was awkward?’

‘Very much so. He all but ran away as soon as he could.’

Margaery nodded, plucking at Sansa’s duvet.

‘That’s still tender. But it’s a lot better than it was. He comes out, he joins in on fun, he’s speaking up again, striking friendships, trying things that push his limits. Those were all things he stopped doing once.’

‘I just worry that things might be awkward now.’

‘He’ll just have to put on his big boy pants. He can’t pretend it never happened and he can’t hide it forever. Much as he would like to. He’s old enough to know that. And his psychologist told him that plenty of times as well. He’ll come around.’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Just do what you always do.’

‘And what’s that?’ Sansa shot back, pivoting around on her desk chair.

‘Make staying in his comfort zone the least attractive option. It worked for the snowman, the snowball fight and the dancing’, Margaery smiled.

‘I didn’t encourage him to do any of those things.’

Margaery shrugged.

‘He has tattoos.’

‘Of course he has’, Margaery replied with an incredulous laugh. ‘He’s had them for years. Oh, are you a secret tattoo lover?’ she smirked.

‘Never really had a thing for them before. I just wondered, what’s the thing around his elbow?’

Margaery scratched at her neck. ‘Uhm, that’s where he tattooed the date of his first victory.’

‘It wasn’t a date though, it were letters. Not our language.’

‘Yeah, he covered it up some years ago. Wait, I knew what it said once’, Margaery said, sitting up. ‘It was a quote from a philosopher. He tattooed it in High Valyrian. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. I think’, Margaery replied.

Of course Willas would be a total intellectual about it and cover up the memorandum of one beginning to signal the end of it and the beginning of a new one.

‘Cool’, Sansa nodded.

‘I think that’s it though, except for the family crest and that house words. He’s had those since he was eighteen. They all have it.’

‘But not you?’ She had not seen a single tattoo on her friend in all these years.

‘Like I’m going to put a big unflattering tattoo on my shoulder. That would have clashed with so many styles of tops. No. I just wear my rose pendant or rose brooch’, Margaery smiled, bringing her hand up to touch her necklace.

‘If that’s it, I’ll leave you and get back to work. They’re playing Dooms and Dragons downstairs, that takes way too long’, Margaery shrugged.

‘I was warned for mistletoes’, Sansa threw out carelessly.

‘I decided to put them up once everyone slept. Do you think I fall asleep on a couch deliberately?’ Margaery asked with a wink.

‘And the policy is a kiss on the cheek or?’

‘Can be. It usually is when the people underneath it aren’t a couple. But you can always try and kiss someone on the lips, saying in the North it’s normal to have a real smooch.’

‘I won’t, but thanks.’

‘Good luck’, Margaery winked before slipping out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep switching between GRRM' three-and-ten style of saying years and our normal way. Indulge me.
> 
> And yes I know I'm walking a fine line by pretending the asoiaf books happened while having all characters still keep some storylines. Don't look too closely😛
> 
> Fun anecdote: Every time I open this story in word, I make myself one gluhwein to get in the holiday mood. So I did tonight. Which lead to my dad saying I had an alcohol problem as I found the right glass for the right alcohol in the glass cabinet of an unlit room. I pointed out that I spent more money on a Loch Ness monster shaped tea egg than a month's supply of alcohol. Can't argue with that logic. My blood is 99% green tea and that's probably the only reason I'm alive at 3AM :p
> 
> Anyways, enjoy everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 23th, part two.

Margaery hopped in before dinner, chatting with her as they dressed. Most of it was about studies, both of them complaining about how they disagreed with their professors and the viewpoints in the compulsory reading. But the closer they got in time to dinner, the more the thoughts Sansa had repressed all day came forward.

‘Sansa? Sansa? San? Hey Stark, I asked whether my ponytail looked smooth from the back?’ Margaery demanded.

‘Oh’, Sansa mumbled, looking up from the panty she was putting on.

‘It looks fine, all your hair is pulled smooth’, Sansa confirmed.

‘What is it? I can hear your brain working from over here’, Margaery asked.

‘It’s nothing important.’

‘It doesn’t have to be important. It’s Willas again, isn’t it?’

‘I just thought back on the holidays five years ago. Why is Willas always present now? I mean, he was almost never at home, you told me. I can’t believe everyone dropped him when…’

‘We wondered as well. Never asked though. Since he stayed here that first year, mommy saw the invites come in. Over a hundred party invites, all ignored. Obviously he wasn’t in any shape to go back then, but the years after he was slightly better. Sometimes when I hooked up or met with people who knew him, they asked for him. He turned his back on that entire world. Except for Oberyn. I don’t think he speaks to anyone of them anymore. He chose not to go.’

Sansa nodded, taking a sip of her drink.

‘Mom tried telling us last year that it would be fine if we decided to spend some days away, have fun with others. Renly and Loras said they’d planned to celebrate New Year’s Eve elsewhere. But Willas said there was nowhere he’d rather be. I don’t understand the one-eighty but… That’s all we ever got from him on the matter’, Margaery explained as she twisted her hair in a bun, putting it in place with bobby pins before wrapping a band of flowers around it.

A memory of their second meeting floated back towards her.

She thought he had been talking about average parties, not holiday parties. Or all parties all together.

‘You were there for him, they weren’t’, Sansa muttered.

‘Come again?’

‘He once called the parties and connections meaningless’, Sansa explained.

‘Oh’, Margaery then let out. ‘Yeah, should have thought of that.’

‘What?’

‘Well, Loras was a model for a while in his teens, you remember?’

‘Yeah.’

‘He didn’t keep those friendships either. Said they were all just friends because they did the same things. He didn’t share anything with them anymore, not his profession, not his eating habits, not his interests, not his work-out routine. They had partied and worked together but there was nothing tying them together afterwards. I suppose professional sporting isn’t that different. Although I’m sure Willas was better liked than Loras. Loras had too much shit to sort through to really bond with people.’

It was all coming together in her head, all pieces of a five year old puzzle.

He was confident enough now and had moved on with his life. But the shadows of the accidents were still present. He avoided everything he might not succeed at because of his leg, perfectionism. Threw away all friendships connected to his previous profession because they didn’t care about his personality or interests aside from his sports career. In their eyes he would be the retired sportsman who they couldn’t relate with, not Willas Tyrell. He’d said today it wasn’t good to build your entire life around something. His entire career and friendships had been based on his physical performance, no wonder that he then felt insecure every time he was reminded he couldn’t do certain things anymore. 

‘You believe it will be awkward tonight?’ Sansa asked as she picked up her perfume bottle. She knew she should just go for her regular one, but she went for the urn shaped bottle with the blue fan-shaped cap. After the awkward encounter she needed the support of the perfume she’d worn when she first kissed him.

‘San, you haven’t spoken to him all day. You’re probably worrying over nothing. Come downstairs. Have fun tonight, you’ve worked hard enough.’

Margaery walked over to Sansa and undid the top buttons of her dress, pulling it open.

‘There, and now a necklace.’

She walked over to the dresser on which Sansa had her jewellery displayed and took an elegant silver necklace from which a small silver pendant hung with a sapphire stone. She handed Sansa her fake-sapphire earrings.

‘Here, compliments your eyes and draws some attention to your boobs. Want my advice? Stop speculating. Overthinking never solved anything. Make a list of what he does around you, not what you think he thinks about you.’

Willas had almost told her the exact same thing that morning.

Alerie was already filling the plates by the time Sansa and Margaery descended. Leonette was talking enthusiastically about the game and the snowmen she, Garlan, Renly and Loras had made.

‘You should play with us tonight, you’ve both worked hard enough today’, Leonette told her and Margaery.

Sansa still had six pages to do, but she could easily do that in an hour, or less.

‘I want to.’

‘I’m definitely taking the night off’, Margaery decided before attacking her plate with gusto.

‘Samwell Tarly is going to publish a book on the Prince that was Promised’, Alerie announced.

‘The author?’ Leonette enquired.

‘Yes. I suppose it’s always a matter of time before a literature enthusiast wants to publish their take on that story’, Willas said.

‘But he actually has some new evidence for his book. Consulted the archives of the Night’s Watch, Wintefell, Oldtown and the chronicles of the Red Woman. He even managed to translate some pieces of Old Tongue’, Sansa explained.

‘How do you know that? The book still has to come out’, Willas asked.

‘Sam’s a friend of my cousin Jon.’

‘Is he handsome?’ Margaery teased.

Leonette laughed when Sansa’s face scrunched up. The thought was revolting.

‘He has a girlfriend’, Sansa explained. A pregnant one even. But that would be a long and strange conversation to have over the dinner table. ‘And I’m not interested.’

‘Seems boring too. He would never stop talking about dusty old books and men who died hundreds of years ago’, Leonette laughed.

‘You’re aware I minored in literature?’ Sansa asked with a smile. ‘Old books are kind of my thing.’

‘ _Oh_. Oh. Well. I – there isn’t anything wrong with it. I forgot. It’s just not my thing.’

‘So then do you too have a theory about it?’ Willas asked.

She looked up at him. He didn’t look very awkward or uncomfortable. Perhaps Margaery was right, and she had overanalysed their encounter this morning until she’d seen something in his behaviour that wasn’t there.

‘Of course’, Sansa smiled. ‘Though I’m sure it’s not very original.’

Willas shrugged.

‘I believe the Prince that was Promised was a popular legend in Westeros around the year three hundred, based on even earlier legends. He’s a straight rip-off of the Azor Ahai figure that was popular across the sea. I believe many people wanted to claim themselves or others to be the Prince that was Promised to strengthen their claim to the iron throne during a time of political instability. Mind this was still – if we believe the old chronicles – during a time when winters were irregular and could last years. And stories about Others coming to kill everyone were rampant. People wanted a hero who would protect them. People who are scared often resort to stories and songs.’

‘But isn’t there is a clear Prince that was Promised? I thought the latest evidence said it was the 998th Night’s Watch commander. Who is claimed to have been brought to life again in a Red God ritual and succeeded in restructuring the Night’s Watch, keeping out the Others during the War for the Dawn and helping King Aegon’s future consort the Dragon Queen’, Willas noted.

‘There’s over a dozen claimed promised princes. Some said Prince Rhaegar because he was born in Summerhall when it burned down. Others say Aegon the Sixth because the red comet was seen crossing King’s Landing when he was born. Then there are those pointing towards the rebel Baratheon king Stannis, yes Renly your far-back family. Others use the Valyrian translation of prince as a gender-neutral term to call Daenerys the prince that was promised since she was born on a stormy night on Dragonstone, which some saw as: “being born amidst salt and smoke”.’

‘Born amidst salt and smoke, where they looking for a ham?’ Renly joked.

Loras gave Renly a pat on the head.

Wasn’t it queer how even hundreds of years later the same old names still circulated in their families? Their power had long since dwindled, they’d gone from kings and wardens of Westerosi regions to just average nobility and simple politicians, but the names remained. No one reaching the greatness of Renly The King in Highgarden Baratheon, Stannis The Red King Baratheon, Ser Loras the Knight of Flowers and so forth. She knew Mace Tyrell was obsessed with the great history of his family and always encouraged his children to achieve some measure of distinction so they could go down in history too. It’s why he’d recycled all of their names.

‘Fair point’, Willas agreed.

‘Hm, the description was broad enough that all could claim the title, though I believe it fits some more than others. In the end, they’ve all saved the world in some ways’, he reasoned.

‘Exactly. Yet we’re still on a mad hunt for that one individual who it fits most.’

‘The same way some archaeologists are still looking for the Horn of Winter and wyrms’, Willas smirked.

‘Anyone else who can’t follow anymore?’ Renly asked.

‘I can’, Mace proudly declared. The others shook their heads.

She shot Willas a shy smile, to which he responded before turning towards the rest of the table. ‘Let’s return to a less niche topic’, he announced. ‘Were we going to hold a Christmas sweater competition tomorrow?’

‘Yes!’ Garlan cried. ‘It just has to be on the twenty-fourth. Can’t do it the day after Christmas.’

‘Watch it Garlan, Sansa packed six Christmas sweaters’, Margaery teased.

‘Oh oh’, Leonette muttered, taking a sip of her wine.

Garlan’s eyes shot to her, laden with challenge.

‘Game on, girl.’

‘Surely it isn’t just between the two of us, is it?’ Sansa questioned, looking around the table.

‘No, but the others wear the same boring ones every year. You’re new. And you have more than two, so you have more in your arsenal.’

She had one that played music and emitted light, but she didn’t wear that one often afraid the batteries would one day run out. Most were simple, cats with Christmas hats, pugs in red, a pink one with reindeers.

Sansa shrugged.

‘I have won the entire decade,’ he said with a deadly serious voice, ‘and you _will not_ end my streak.’

‘If you wear a cool sweater tomorrow you have nothing to fear of me’, Sansa smiled sweetly.

‘Ohhh’, Leonette brought out.

‘Bam!’ Loras laughed. ‘Your empire is under threat.’

Margaery chuckled, watching the proceedings.

‘The empire strikes back’, Garlan said calmly, looking at Sansa over the rim of his glass.

Sansa lifted her glass.

‘May the best man win’, she wished before drinking.

With the tone set for teasing, the plans for a classic gameboard were quickly replaced with plans for a game of Never Have I Ever. While Alerie, Mace and Olenna chose a period drama movie and settled down on the couch, the youngsters started carrying in a couple of pitchers of eggnog and wine bottles.

Sansa put down seven glasses on the table before turning around to return to the kitchen. Desert still had to be brought in.

That’s when she saw it. A ball of herbs and greenery hung above the entryway of the living room, tied up like a package with red ribbons. And right on top of the red bow she could see the figure of the elf with his long legs.

The second gin bottle was within reach.

Surely they didn’t need her to carry nine plates, forks and one cake?

She subtly walked over to the ball. Up close, she could see the ball was made of fresh greenery like pine, rosemary and thyme. Some soft greenery with thin leaves and white berries hung out from the underside. She idly wondered whether that was a mistletoe. She’d never seen one up close, only in movies.

Didn’t matter. She would be gone in a second. She only needed to get the elf.

She regretted not putting on heels, it hung too high. She jumped. She could only tickle the sprig of greenery. She threw a hasty look at the parents sitting on the couch. They weren’t looking yet. Slightly bending through her knees, she jumped again, reaching the sprig a bit higher. She reasoned she didn’t even have to reach the top. If she hit the ball hard enough, the elf would come tumbling down.

She jumped again. _Almost._ She was certain she could get it in another couple of jumps.

Footsteps in the hallway made her freeze.

‘What are you doing?’ Willas asked. His sleeves were rolled up just so that his tattoo wasn’t visible. He had such lovely forearms, a line of veins ran ever so slightly above the rest.

‘Uhm’, she blinked, meeting his gaze.

She started to suspect a thing such as fate might actually exist. And it lived to see Sansa embarrassed.

‘It’s the elf. It’s right on top of it’, she muttered.

‘Is it? Hadn’t noticed’, he said, moving into the living room.

‘Yeah it’s hard to spot. It sits right between pieces of red ribbon’, she explained, pointing upwards.

‘Good eye’, he commented, putting down the plates he was holding on the cupboard beside the door.

His eyes went towards the ball. Sansa remained silent as he stepped back to spot the elf for himself.

‘Ah, I see it now’, he commented.

‘You can have it if you want, I can’t reach it’, she said.

‘You found it first. I could get it for you?’

‘We could share it’, she suggested.

‘Then we have to drink it all before the holiday is over’, he smirked.

 _Or we could get together after the holidays to keep sharing it,_ she added in her head.

She smiled and shrugged.

He stepped towards the ball, now so close she didn’t even have to stretch her fingers fully to touch him. He grew even taller as he reached for it. Her heart jumped at their proximity. She could simply feel the heat radiating off his skin. Her eyes trailed upwards, roving over the expanse of his chest clad in a dark blue shirt. Her eyes focussed on the opened button right at his strong throat. Her stomach knotted again.

With a simple tap against the ball the elf stumbled off. His hand quickly shot out to catch it.

‘Good reflexes’, she complimented.

He smirked again, handing her the elf.

Sansa tried to smile, but her body was out of control. Everything in her was moved by him.

When she looked at him she could feel a tug at her heartstrings, drawing her in. the sizzling air had returned between them.

‘Oh by the seven, don’t tell me she has the elf again!’ Loras cried. Sansa jumped, eyes flying towards the entryway. Loras, Margaery, Renly and Leonette were standing in the hallway.

Sansa’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. Just how much had they seen? The kitchen was around the corner, so not too much she hoped.

‘You should get your eyes checked Loras, it was right here’, Willas smirked.

‘You know what else is right there? A mistletoe’, Margaery pointed out with a grin, her eyes focussed on Sansa.

Her blood froze. Margaery told her she’d be putting them up. Willas had warned her. And still they had ended up underneath it, perfectly adhering to Margaery’s mischievous plan.

She could hear her heart beating in her ears.

_Bu-boom, bu-boom._

‘You have to kiss. A mistletoe is used to help the people who kiss beneath it overcome difficulties throughout the year. Sansa, you don’t want to ruin your exams, do you?’ Margaery pushed.

Sansa forced herself to look back at Willas.

‘Can’t believe I warned you and didn’t even consider it’, he grumbled, looking up at the sprig of greenery.

‘It’s fine. A small price to pay for a bottle of gin’, she laughed. ‘At least for me.’

The corner of his mouth lifted.

He reached out, plucking a berry from the sprig.

_I’m going to kiss him._

Five years later, he would hold her again.

Willas shuffled closer, placing a hand on her shoulder. The butterflies stomped against her lungs and throat, trying to get away from the fire he’d ignited in her belly.

_Bu-boom, bu-boom, bu-boom-boom-boom._

Her eyes slipped close, awaiting his lips.

_Bu-boom, bu-boom, bu-boom bu-boom- bu-boom._

Soft lips surrounded by tickling hairs pressed against her burning cheek.

Her heart plummeted to the bottom of her belly, but her blood sung.

Of course he would kiss her on the cheek. She opened her eyes again, forcing herself to smile.

‘That scent’, Willas mumbled.

‘What is going on?’ Garlan asked, now also appearing in the hallway.

‘Mistletoe’, Margaery grinned.

Sansa took a step back, trying to calm her breathing down.

‘They kissed?’ Garlan enquired.

‘On the cheek’, Leonette informed him.

‘Amateurs, that’s not how you do it’, Garlan laughed, grabbing his girlfriend by the arm and pulling her towards the doorway.

Leonette giggled as Garlan pushed Willas to the side. He plucked another berry from the mistletoe.

‘Let’s show them how the real pros do it’, he said as he threw his arms around his soon-to-be fiancée. He bent down to kiss her with such force her back bent. One of her feet lifted off the ground to balance herself. But Garlan managed to keep a good hold of her.

Her eyes went to Willas, who looked away from the scene. They hadn’t been able to do that last night.

Garlan withdrew, drawing Leonette upright again.

‘And _that’s_ how you do it’, he grinned.

Leonette was positively glowing.

‘We shared our first kiss underneath a mistletoe, you know?’ she asked Sansa as she walked over to the table.

‘Indeed?’ Sansa asked with a smile.

‘Yes, back when we were in high school. You know, tradition says that couples who kiss beneath the Christmas ball stay together for the year and maybe even marry’, she giggled, looking over her shoulder to smile at Garlan.

Garlan smiled back, his eyes dancing towards Sansa in amusement.

Soon they would be.

‘How interesting’, Sansa exclaimed.

‘Yes! It is, isn’t it?’ Leonette smiled, looking over at Willas

‘Mother, Sansa caught the elf’, Willas pointed out.

‘Yeah, so I saw’, Alerie said. Sansa turned around in her chair. Alerie wasn’t smiling. Why did she look like that?

‘The rectangle wrapped in black and gold underneath the tree’, Alerie spoke. ‘You can take it dear.’

Sansa walked over gingerly.

‘It’s just that I don’t remember putting it there’, Alerie spoke in a low voice.

‘You must have still been tired when you did it. It’s like you always misplace your glasses in the evening’, Margaery shrugged.

Alerie’s frown deepened.

‘Perhaps’, she muttered before turning back towards the movie.

Sansa shot an accusatory glance at Margaery. She had moved the elf.

‘Alright, enough kissing, let’s start drinking’, Margaery decided, plopping down on the free seat on Sansa’s other side.

Sansa unpacked the gin. It was in a copper chrome bottle. Heavy on the herbs. She turned the front towards Willas, who nodded from across the table.

‘Who’s starting?’ Margaery asked as she uncorked a bottle of red, pouring herself a glass.

‘I’ll go’, Renly decided. ‘And then we can go clockwise.’

As Sansa agreed with Renly’s suggestion, she didn’t notice Margaery was pouring her a glass in time.

‘No you know I don’t – ‘

‘Oh dear’, Margaery muttered.

‘It’s a soft one’, Willas’ voice called from across the table. He shot her a shy smile.

He’d chosen a wine based on what she’d told him yesterday?

Sansa picked up her glass, sniffing the content. It smelled like berries. And the colour was quite bright too. To her surprise the taste was indeed light and fruity. No way. She took a bigger sip. The dry feeling on her tongue was almost completely absent.

A surprised laugh tumbled from her mouth before she could stop it. She _could_ actually drink red wine! She looked back at Willas, responding to his questioning gaze with a smile.

‘It’s fine Marge’, Sansa told her. Margaery looked surprised, but did continue filling her glass.

‘Alright, let’s get this party started’, Renly grinned.

‘Never have I ever bitten Santa’s finger’, Renly declared.

‘You prick’, Loras growled, taking a sip.

Sansa’s eyes grew wide.

Margaery dissolved into giggles. ‘Oh, good times. I still can’t believe you did that to Santa.’

All Tyrells were grinning.

‘Fine’, Loras snapped. ‘Never have I ever sent a nude to the wrong person.’

Renly nodded, inhaling deeply. ‘Should have seen that one coming.’ He took a sip, but so did Margaery. They both ignored the eyes on them.

‘Never have I ever fought in public’, Willas said.

Renly and Loras drank.

‘Never have I ever broken up with somebody’, Garlan smiled.

‘Agh fucker’, Renly laughed.

‘Praise yourself very lucky’, Sansa smiled sadly before drinking.

Only him, Loras and Leonette didn’t have to drink.

‘Never have I ever had a one night stand’, Leonette declared.

‘You two are just trying to make us feel bad, aren’t you?’ Margaery joked. Sansa wasn’t surprised that everyone except her and the happy couple drank.

‘Never have I ever hmm… oh, smoked weed’, Sansa decided.

Renly laughed, tipping his glass at her. Then all others raised their glasses in toast before drinking.

‘I’ve never looked at someone and went _oh fuck me_ ’, Margary laughed.

‘You totally have’, Sansa pointed out.

Margaery giggled. ‘Fair enough’, she said, and lifted her glass with all others at the table.

‘Never have I ever had a threesome’, Loras shrugged. To Sansa’s relief Willas didn’t drink. She wasn’t sure she could be that adventurous. Renly and Margaery drank.

‘Never have I ever lost a high-stake gamble’, Renly grinned.

‘Fuck you’, Garlan laughed, drinking together with Loras.

‘Never play against a Baratheon’, Loras nodded sagely.

‘Never have I ever deleted a picture on social media because it didn’t get enough likes’, Willas said. Sansa admitted to that vanity together with Loras, Renly, Margaery and Leonette.

‘You guys’, Garlan laughed.

‘Never have I ever thrown a drink at someone’, Garlan decided.

Margaery, Leonette, Sansa and Loras drank.

‘Can’t we ask for stories?’ Renly pushed.

‘Fine for me’, Margaery shrugged. ‘I once chucked a plastic glass of champagne at a guy who hurt a friend of mine. I emptied my cup on a douche who couldn’t keep his hands off of me… And that’s all I remember. Probably did it more than twice though.’

‘Whenever they call me a fag at a nightclub’, Loras shrugged.

‘Someone kissed me against my wishes in a club’, Leonette explained.

‘I dumped a glass over someone in a fancy restaurant after I uncovered he’d been cheating on me. And then I dumped him’, Sansa admitted.

‘So the rules are simple, don’t hurt people or insult their friends’, Garlan smiled.

Leonette moved on with her statement. ‘Never have I ever put eggnog on my cereal.’

‘You really can’t keep a secret, can you?’ Margaery asked, taking a drink.

‘You what?’ Loras demanded.

‘What? It’s milky. Don’t see why not. The milk was up and the eggnog stood in the fridge’, Margaery defended.

‘Girl, check yourself’, Loras laughed.

‘Never have I ever spiked the eggnog while it already had liquor in it’, Sansa said, remaining in the same line.

‘Are you two conspiring? You wound me’, Margaery pouted before drinking again.

‘How many times did you spike it?’ Willas questioned with a smile.

‘Today? Well. Uhm. I poured some more in when I went downstairs this afternoon for a snack. And then just now I noticed one can was almost up so I poured some more of everything in. But mostly rum. Seemed like a good idea.’

Willas lifted his glass, holding it up to the light.

‘Tread carefully, ye unsuspecting drinkers’, he said before taking a swig.

‘Never have I ever wanted a relationship to last forever’, Margaery said.

‘Is that about current relationships?’ Garlan asked.

‘Current, in the past, or in the future if you want your next relationship to be your final one.’

This was a deliberate question, Sansa realized. As she brought her glass to her lips she watched Willas drink in turn. Good, at least he wanted the same out of a relationship.

‘Never have I ever been hungover during the New Year’s Day lunch’, Loras smirked.

‘Loras, this isn’t how the game works,’ laughed Leonette, ‘you aren’t allowed to have done it.’ Everyone except her drank.

‘This is going awfully hard’, Garlan noted.

‘Can get harder still’, Renly laughed. ‘Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.’

The Tyrell brothers cheered and drank.

‘Never have I ever cheated on a test’, Willas said.

‘Oh gods, I can’t be hungover tomorrow’, Margaery complained as she took another sip.

‘Never have I ever pretended to have an orgasm’, Garlan grinned, looking at Margaery. He intended to keep her drinking.

‘No’, Margaery declared proudly.

Sansa was already lifting her glass before she realized no one else lifted their glass. Fuck.

‘Oh poor dear’, Leonette exclaimed.

Sansa shrugged, it was seen now.

‘Not too often I hope?’ Leonette asked.

Sansa only tipped her glass higher to swallow more. Too many eyes were on her. She didn’t want to be pitied, or thought of as having an awful sex life.

‘Let’s drop the topic. Suffice to say Sansa deserves better’, Margaery suggested.

‘Just tell them they suck’, Loras advised.

Of course, Tyrells would have no problem telling someone to step up their game.

‘If I ever find someone willing to take me on again’, she joked.

‘Oh you will, darling’, Margaery said, rubbing her back.

This was really backfiring. Now she just looked sad. Sad people didn’t get dates.

‘Never have I ever been to Essos’, Leonette said. She gave Sansa an apologetic smile.

The game continued, confronting her with the fact that she was the least experienced one in the whole room, and had the least amount of cool stories.

She withdrew a bit into herself, forcing herself to regularly smile and laugh with the others. Throughout the game she could sometimes feel Willas’ eyes on her. Watching her. Observing her. She wondered why he did.

‘Never have I ever kissed someone at the New Year’s Eve party’, Leonette said. They were just looking for excuses to drink now. Sansa didn’t even think twice about drinking. If only to calm her nerves.

Nobody seemed to think anything of it. Why would they? There were enough people to kiss, no one could know she kissed Willas.

It was her turn now.

‘Never have I ever fought so hard the Christmas tree tumbled down’, she sighed.

‘How do you know? Loras asked in surprise.

‘Just drink’, Margaery grinned.

‘They did that? I don’t know that story’, Leonette exclaimed.

‘Boys being boys. Playfighting and not paying attention’, Willas explained calmly.

‘Never have I ever fallen in love at first sight’, Margaery said.

‘No such thing as falling in love at first sight, only lust’, Renly said.

‘Is it lust if you don’t think them handsome but just feel an instant connection?’ Loras asked with a grin.

Renly beat him. ‘You tease. I’m handsome.’

‘Who said it was with you?’

‘Because you told me I was your first love.’

‘Well, then see it as proof that it exists. I liked you before I met you. Fell in love with you first time I saw you and found reasons for those feelings afterwards’, Loras grinned.

Sansa, Loras and Leonette lifted their glass, Willas lifting his halfway, deep in thought.

‘What is it Wills, hard question?’ Margaery asked.

‘Actually, I’m not sure whether I believe in love at first sight. So I don’t know whether I should drink.’

Sansa stayed calm as if her heart didn’t break a little when she heard it.

‘Did you look at someone and feel attracted?’ Loras asked.

‘Obviously, but that’s lust.’

‘You quickly find out whether it’s purely superficial once you start talking to them. Did you like talking to them? So much that you wished the conversation could have gone on forever?’ Leonette asked.

Willas kept his eyes focussed on Leonette while he toyed with his glass.

_Look back at me._

‘Yes.’

‘Did you feel happy but nervous at the same time? Wanting to say the right things to impress them while at the same time liking almost everything they said?’

Willas twisted his glass in circles between his thumb and index finger. It was distracting. He had such lovely broad hands.

‘Yes.’

Sansa clutched her hands around the edge of her seat, hanging on to every word of their conversation.

‘Did everything you learn about them and their views draw you in deeper? Made you want to know more about them?’ Leonette continued.

_Look back at me._

‘Yes.’

‘Did you feel they understood you and you understood them? That you _really_ saw each other?’

Willas looked at his glass, nodding. ‘I do.’

‘Dude, who feels that during a first conversation?’ Renly asked.

Loras shot him a sour look. ‘Apparently, over half of us’, Loras pointed out.

‘I admit I’m a bit slow in realizing my own feelings’, Garlan admitted. ‘Wish I could say I immediately knew it too.’

‘It’s alright darling’, Leonette smiled.

‘Well Willas, what else would you call liking everything you discover about them while simultaneously feeling an attraction you don’t feel for friends? Other than love?’ Leonette grinned. ‘Of course true love still needs to deepen but it’s the beginning of it.’

‘In that case, cheers’, Willas decided, lifting his glass.

Sansa clenched her shaking hand around her glass. She didn’t mind that he had a long list of ex-lovers. But the idea he’d felt such a deep connection with someone else but not her made her sick to her stomach. She’d only ever had that with him.

They drank, but despite that she was on her fourth glass counting the ones she had at dinner, she felt stone cold sober.

Loras looked around the table as he thought of a new thing to come up with.

‘Never have I ever,’ he started before he smiled once he found it, ‘found a Tyrell man handsome.’

‘Loras you adore yourself’, Garlan shot.

‘Well, I can’t very well say it of myself or of you. I never thought of you two that way, and I always thought of myself as being more beautiful than handsome.’

The table chuckled.

‘Well’, Leonette laughed, raising her cup.

Perhaps it was because she felt hollow inside, but Sansa desperately wanted a drink, so she raised her cup.

‘Sansa?’ Garlan grinned. ‘Do tell.’

‘Come now, you’re Tyrells. There’s not a single unattractive one between you.’

‘We could rank them. We _should_ rank them’, Leonette giggled.

‘Come now’, Margaery said with an eyeroll. ‘That’s gonna be the most biased competition ever. You pick Garlan, Renly picks Loras, the only relatively neutral one is Sansa.’

‘I can be neutral… In my ranking of the others. Let’s be fair, we can’t rank our boyfriends’, Leonette offered.

‘I’ve always wanted to find out’, Loras muttered.

‘But none of you fall for me’, Margaery pointed out. ‘That’s unfair. I’ll definitely end up on the bottom. I withdraw.’

‘Oh but you can judge too! You’re probably the most neutral one of us all!’ Renly decided.

‘Hm, I might feel tempted to judge. I love judging’, Margaery smirked.

‘We know’, Willas said before emptying his glass of wine.

Margaery pouted as the table dissolved in giggles.

‘I don’t know, it doesn’t seem very nice to play them out against each other’, Sansa pointed out.

‘My ego won’t be damaged by what you think. I got the only one I care about right beside me, and I already know her opinion’, Garlan laughed.

‘Okay, to the hall to convene then’, decided Margaery.

‘I already regret this’, Loras muttered.

‘Even if you’re not the handsomest, you’ll always be the prettiest Loras’, Margaery winked before pulling Sansa away.

Margaery grabbed a sheet of paper and a pencil on her way out, tearing it into four pieces.

‘There, I suggest we rank them all and then I count them since I am most neutral and you two might go and tell your boyfriends who got how many votes and from whom. Say first place gets three votes, second place gets two votes, last place gets one vote. The people who have Tyrell partners can’t vote on their partners to keep things fair, they’ll get one point for their lowest ranking, two for their highest. Everyone alright with those rules?’ Margaery proposed.

‘Doesn’t that make your first place more important than our first place?’ Leonette asked.’

‘It’s either that or our last place gets no points, which is kind of cruel.’

‘Sure’, Renly shrugged. ‘Just to be clear, we’re only voting most handsome, not counting character?’

‘I do feel charm is allowed to be taken into account, as it’s part of what makes a person attractive on a subjective level. But do try to focus on looks’, Margaery reasoned.

‘Leonette, you start?’ Margaery asked, handing her the pencil and a piece of paper.

Leonette accepted the paper and quickly wrote down her response. Renly did a bit longer over it. Sansa accepted the pencil with a clammy hand. She already knew the order. Still she hesitated to make it look like she never considered who was the hottest before. She then slid the pencil over to Margaery, along with her folded note.

Margaery thought long and hard, as was only natural for someone who had spent her entire life with them and wasn’t attracted to any of them. She looked unhappy as she put the pencil down to paper.

‘This is awful’, she admitted. ‘It seemed such fun and now I feel awful.’

‘They all know you love them’, Leonette shrugged. ‘Now write it down.’

Margaery unfolded all papers, counted out their points, and wrote them down.

‘Well, we have a winner’, Margaery brought out, her eyebrows rising in surprise.

‘No ties?’ Renly asked.

Margaery shook her head. ‘Three consecutive numbers. Loras has five’, Margaery said.

Sansa swallowed. Given that Renly couldn’t vote on him and Sansa had put him second, that meant neither Margaery or Leonette had put him first. Because if they had, he’d be higher.

Crap, if she could calculate that, they could probably calculate her picks as well.

‘Second is Garlan at six. Willas has seven.’

No one responded for a while. She had given him first place. Margaery couldn’t have given him a three as well or he’d have at least eight points. So either Margaery put him second and the others put him last, or Margaery put him lowest and someone else gave him a two.

‘Well that’s unexpected. Loras won’t like that’, Renly muttered.

‘We agreed on the rules’, Margaery said unhappily.

‘We can still not tell. They don’t need to know’, Sansa suggested.

‘They could have objected before. We won’t spare them just because their ego’s might get bruised’, Margaery decided, standing up.

‘What did all of you go doing in that dark hallway?’ Alerie demanded when they snuck back in.

‘Oh nothing’, Margaery smiled.

Nobody dared to answer.

Alerie’s face clouded. ‘Margaery, give that paper to me.’

Margaery swallowed and walked over.

Despite his thick black stubble, Sansa could see Renly blush.

‘What’s this? What are these numbers?

‘Nothing’, muttered Margaery.

Sansa was relieved Alerie didn’t have the other pieces, or she would have figured it out faster.

‘Seven, six, five… What is it?’ Alerie demanded.

She turned to look at the table. ‘Loras, what’s up with five?’

‘Five?’ Loras asked incredulously, face clouded with confusion before it cleared up. ‘Oh. Nothing mom. As Margaery says.’

Alerie looked at the paper, face suddenly clearing up. Or freezing. Sansa could see all the warmth draining from it.

‘You will not play them out against each other. Margaery Tyrell!’ Alerie scolded. ‘You should know better than put your brothers against each other.’

‘It was my idea, Alerie’, Leonette admitted, voice tiny.

‘I expected better of you. All of you. Throw the paper in the fire, Margaery.’

Margaery obliged and the others quietly sat down at the table.

‘Not a word I want to hear of it’, Alerie warned. ‘They’ve all had enough pressure put on them’, Alerie grumbled, shooting Mace and Olenna a dark look.

‘What? I stopped encouraging them to do something with their lives, didn’t I?’

‘You oaf’, Olenna sighed.

Sansa took a sip, shivers running over her arms. The air had grown chilly.

Loras lifted his head at Renly, but Renly only shook his in return.

Garlan took Leonette’s hand, telling her it was all fine.

‘Monopoly? Anyone?’ Margaery asked, lifting the boardgame in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Leonette nodded weakly, a stray tear sliding across her cheek.

‘I ruined it, with my stupid ideas’, she muttered.

‘We encouraged it’, Loras admitted generously.

‘Sansa didn’t, she was smarter and she’s been here the shortest.’

‘It’s fine, it’ll blow over in no time’, Renly ensured.

Leonette shook her head, another tear rolling over her cheek. ‘I’m sorry. She’s right. I shouldn’t have made it a competition’, she whispered before rushing out of the room.

‘Shoot, gotta go’, Garlan excused himself before going after her. Margaery looked after them.

Sansa felt a wave of guilt crushing her. She should have put her foot down more. Then it could have all been avoided and they would still be having fun. She looked over at Willas and saw him staring at the entranceway. Dissatisfaction radiated off of him. She’d disappointed him too, she dared bet.

‘Am I really only a five?’ Loras asked, the only one who knew his number.

‘Babe, you know I couldn’t vote for you.’

‘Is there anything beneath a five?’ Loras asked.

Renly looked over to check on the couch before shaking his head.

‘It was handsomest, not most beautiful. And the women clearly have no taste.’

‘Is there a lot of difference?’

‘No, you needn’t feel bad, it was all very close’, Renly comforted.

‘Well’, Margaery whispered as she sat down. ‘It’s not exactly fair he knows, is it?’

‘He doesn’t know how the others rank’, Renly defended.

‘Okay’, Margaery sighed, unpacking the game.

‘It doesn’t matter. I know the tabloids still call me the hottest. And that many people agree with me being beautiful’, Loras commented as he flipped his hair backward with a shake of the head.

She couldn’t do it anymore.

‘Actually, if you don’t mind. I still need to do some pages. If I’m done I might come down again’, Sansa muttered, pushing herself to a stance.

‘Good luck’, Renly replied.

‘Good luck’, the remaining two Tyrells replied.

As she made her way upstairs she could hear Leonette crying. The bedroom she shared with Garlan had been left open.

‘I ruined it. She never talked to me like that before’, she sobbed.

‘Did you see the disappointment on her face? All these years of trying to please her and build a bond and I blew it all with one decision. And Sansa even said we shouldn’t. She even suggested it after the count. But I kept pressing’, she sobbed.

Sansa paused at her own door, unable to stop listening. Her heart bled for Leonette.

Her mind went back to memories of four years ago, when she cried in the bathroom after Cersei had belittled and insulted her because she hadn’t complimented a painting on the wall. Joffrey hadn’t even considered comforting her. And then she’d told Sansa that it was strange she didn’t eat her food with gusto since she obviously ate enough at other times. Had anyone dared give Cersei’s children anything less than a solid ten each, she’d scream like a banshee and throw them out of her house.

She understood Leonette. Understood the need to impress and the desire to belong and be loved, but Leonette was also incredibly lucky with Alerie as a mother in law. She would probably come around.

‘It’s fine. She’s just ticked off because father always pushed us to perform in our youth until all of us cracked. It’ll blow over.’

‘She’ll hate me.’

‘She won’t hate you for one thing. She likes you. She put up with so much of our crap when we were young it would be strange for her not to forgive you for such a minor thing’, Garlan comforted her.

‘But you’re her children.’

‘And you’ll one day be her daughter-in-law. Being angry forever due to a beauty competition seems a bit silly, doesn’t it?’ Garlan asked.

‘I don’t know.’

Sansa breezed through the eight pages of PowerPoint slides easily enough, but remained in her room for a while longer. She felt awful. Making Willas fall for her had never appeared as impossible as it was now. She considered just going to bed. But she knew sleep wouldn’t come to her. Not whilst she was so agitated.

She slipped downstairs sometime after eleven. All older adults had gone, leaving only the younger adults. The tension seemed to be gone. Margaery was laying in a couch with Maris, Loras and Renly laid down in each other’s arms. Leonette was petting Maris as she sat on the ground in front of the couch and Willas and Garlan were playing cyvasse.

‘Sansa dear, you come and watch?’ Margaery perked up. ‘I can make space for you.’

‘No it’s fine’, Sansa smiled, throwing a glance at the screen. It was a movie about the night before Christmas going awry. She wasn’t interested in it much. She was just relieved to see everyone relaxed again. Leonette appeared to be fine again as well. She shot her a kind smile.

‘A glass, Sansa?’ Willas asked. Sansa turned away from the window she’d been walking towards. He didn’t look up from the game but waved at the bottle of gin and the bottle of tonic on the table. Some empty glasses stood beside it.

She took the bottles and made herself a drink. Willas’ side of the board seemed mostly intact.

She walked around the table. Garlan’s side looked like a slaughterhouse.

‘I know’, Garlan muttered. ‘I don’t even know why I play him. Another thing he ranks highest in.’

She choked on her cocktail. Had she heard that right?

‘Excuse me?’ Sansa asked.

‘Yeah, we know. We all do’, Garlan chuckled. ‘No secrets stay alive in this house’, he said, moving another piece. Sansa cringed. Willas took it two moves later. Willas won in another three.

Garlan and Willas moved to put their pieces back on the board. Sansa hovered behind Garlan’s back. He put his pieces in locations that weren’t ideal. She allowed him to make two moves without correcting him, and kept account of where Willas’ pawns were on the board every time they moved them. She stopped him when he was about to make another ill-advised move. He was going to throw his elephant away. A spearman would take it and there wasn’t another piece close enough to at least take the spearman in turn. Her hand shot out, resting on his.

‘Try this’, she advised, tapping his trebuchet.

Willas’ scout found their elephant. Garlan lifted his heavy horse, looking up at her in question. She shook her head, tapping the catapult.

‘Calling in the auxiliary forces?’ Willas asked, taking Garlan’s elephant with his dragon.

‘Hey, I need it. Sansa, stay. Sit down’, Garlan ordered.

Garlan realized her technique and used the trebuchet to take Willas’ dragon. As expected, Willas had also installed protection. His crossbowmen took the trebuchet. But they were smashed with Garlan’s catapult.

‘Is that a frown I detect brother?’ Garlan teased.

Willas stared at him, unimpressed.

‘Be happy, at least now you’re being a bit challenged’, Garlan laughed.

Sansa continued to advise Garlan, but after a short toilet break she returned to find him with four pieces less.

‘Are you even trying?’ Sansa questioned.

Willas chuckled on the other side of the board.

‘Ha. Ha. Perhaps you should go sit at his side. Mister funnypants over there just made the same joke.’

Garlan put his rubble to the side. It was smashed by Willas’ catapult.

When he lost, Garlan stood. ‘I feel dumb enough now’, he decided.

‘Failure is only an opportunity to begin again more intelligently’, Willas smirked.

‘Yeah well. That’s intelligence, wisdom is knowing when to quit. Sansa, care to take over? Just try to wipe that smug grin off his face.’

‘Oh, I don’t know if I can. I’m not exactly amazing at it.’

She remembered playing it with Joffrey’s uncle a couple of times at a family party. She always lost. Tyrion Lannister was her intellectual superior by a lot. She would never catch up with him.

‘You kept me alive for longer than I usually do’, Garlan shot. He patted her shoulder. ‘And if you lose, you lose. Don’t think poorly of yourself, everyone loses from Willas.’

Sansa went for her standard set-up, taking advantage of the fact that Willas didn’t know her game.

‘Ready?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘Scout to E3.’

‘Scout finds nothing. Rubble to E3.’ She knew most tried looking around the places they’d put their own figures. The king was the most protected piece. The second she bumped into a dragon, horse or trebuchet she probably struck gold.

‘Rubble trampled by light horse.’

‘Small horse taken by spearman.’

She glanced up. Willas swallowed.

‘Spearman to G11.’

Interesting. She searched for the least important piece that was close enough. She didn’t want to give away that her king was nearby, but still shielded by two mountains.

‘Elephant to H9’, she decided.

Willas looked up at her, startled. Sansa smiled as he took a sip from his cocktail.

‘Trebuchet to I8.’

She was going to get hit if she didn’t move. And her elephant was unprotected. However, his trebuchet came from the near back. So if she placed her elephant even further down his lines, she could perhaps find his king.

‘Elephant to I9.’

‘Mountain in the way’, Willas grinned.

‘Crap.’

Now her elephant was stuck and unprotected, right within the reach of his trebuchet.

‘Trebuchet takes elephant.’

At least she now knew his king probably hid in that corner.

She started moving her pieces into a set up ready for attack, but Willas knew, and positioned his pieces so that every position hers needed to be in to attack his king were either occupied, protected or protected _and_ occupied. In the meantime his scout kept searching for her king. Unfortunately for Willas, he only found mountains until her set-up was mostly complete. Even now Willas knew the probable location he couldn’t attack her. Attacking her king would come at the expense of leaving his king less protected.

It was her time to move. She needed to start her attack, but Willas’ defences were rock solid. She would have to sacrifice a piece of her own to break through.

‘Crossbowman to H9’ They threatened his rubble, but Willas saw through it, and let her take them. What he hadn’t realized, however, was that from that position they also threatened his large horse. He retreated his large horse, but now his catapult was unprotected.

Sansa removed as many pieces of his, but at the expense of many of her own. In the meantime Willas was just two moves removed from taking her king with a simple crossbowman. But she was faster.

‘Dragon to J4. You’re dead.’

‘No I’m not. Trebuchet’, he grinned.

‘Oh no.’

How could she have forgotten it? Stupid mistake. She moved her catapult quickly, all she needed was one more move. But it was Willas’ turn first. He killed her king with his crossbowman. She mentally cursed him. She had only needed one more move.

‘Nice attempt’, he recognized.

‘Fucking brutal you two’, Garlan laughed. ‘She’s almost matched to you, Willas.’

Sansa’s cheeks heated again as she looked across the board.

‘Yeah, she is’, Willas smiled. ‘A worthy opponent.’

The night dragged on at a leisurely pace. They ended up in the kitchen sharing light-hearted conversation as Sansa and Leonette baked a cake.

The cake was made, the air smelled baked, and giggles were shared over the space cake.

‘Oh man, do you smell that?’ Renly asked hungrily.

‘Smells like sweet deep dreams to me’, Loras grinned.

Sansa deposited the chocolate cake onto the table.

Margaery appeared beside her with a knife.

‘It’s still hot’, Leonette laughed.

‘Dude, that’s the best way to eat cake’, Loras exclaimed.

‘No, best would be to add a scoop of ice cream’, Renly suggested.

‘Genius. Absolute genius.’

‘I’m going to air the room a bit’, Sansa muttered, opening the garden door and stepping out.

Behind her back she heard the enthusiastic response to Margaery’s question of who wanted a piece.

Although the scent of baked goods was amazing, the herbaceous earthy scent was growing a bit too strong for her liking. She was glad of the fresh cool air.

Sansa kicked at the snow before straying a bit further from the door. The stars were bright tonight.

‘Still haven’t learned to put on warm clothes before going outside?’ a low voice asked, laced with amusement.

A strange sort of rush went through her veins.

‘I’m a slow learner’, she smiled.

‘Did you learn slowly today?’ he asked, hinting at her schoolwork.

‘No, it went alright, luckily. I’m on track to being done by midday tomorrow.’

‘That’s good’, Willas noted.

‘Not interested in the cake?’

‘No, not really’, he said.

Sansa swallowed. They were alone again.

‘I apologize for going away this morning. It was quite sudden.’

‘It’s fine.’

‘I –‘

‘Really, I understand’, Sansa pushed, looking over her shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile.

‘No I was ridiculous. It’s only that no one’s seen me but my family. I need to get over myself. It’s been five years.’ She could see him from the periphery of her vision now, kicking at the snow as he came to a standstill beside her.

Oh, that was what he’d called ridiculous.

 _Wait_.

Sansa paused.

That was a big confession. Did he just admit to not having taken off his clothes in front of anyone else in five years? Heavens, her sexual life had only started once his had ended. Poor poor Willas.

‘Just so you know, I really don’t care about it. You’re the same Willas.’

‘I know you don’t’, he said, she heard the snow cracking underneath his feet. ‘I know you don’t’, he repeated, softer. Somehow, his words felt like a balm to the raw wound this morning had left.

‘The stars are visible tonight’, he said, voice clearer.

‘Yeah. I’ve already spotted the Ice Dragon, the Sword of Morning and the Crown’s Lantern’, Sansa announced, pointing at the heaven.

‘And the Ghost over there’, Willas said.

‘Where?’

‘There’, he said, placing his arm over her shoulder to point it out. She could feel his chest pressing against her back. His perfume floating around her.

She swallowed thickly, pushing down the desire.

‘Do you see it?’ his asked huskily.

‘No.’

‘There, you see that star over there?’ he asked, his finger moving.

‘Yes.’

‘Then that star there’, he explained, his voice softening as he drew the line. ‘And if you follow that line,’ he explained as his finger traced the night sky, ‘you get the shape of a ghost. The sky is also a bit whiter behind those stars, if you look closely.’

His breath warmed her ear.

‘I see’, Sansa admitted, her voice barely more than a whisper. ‘I wish we had a telescope.’

‘We do’, he said, his arm disappearing.

She shivered at the loss of warmth.

‘I have one in my room.’

‘Oh’, Sansa said.

Was that an invitation? Should she invite herself?

She heard the snow crunch again.

‘We should head back inside, before we freeze.’

‘Right’, Sansa nodded. Her chest deflated. The moment was over. There was no invite. She trudged behind him.

The laughter reached her even before she stepped in.

‘Shut it five, a ten is speaking!’ Margaery laughed before continuing an argument.

Sansa shook her head, they were incorrigible.

‘Who said you were anywhere near a ten. Perhaps you’d be a four’, Loras interrupted her.

Sansa stomped the snow off her feet.

It was a lovely warm scene. Loras pulled against Renly’s chest, Margaery sitting at the end of the table, ruling over the conversation like a queen, and Garlan and Leonette leaning against each other, their eyes sparkling with laughter. It made her think of how she and her own siblings in Winterfell around the holidays. Only they had never had partners over. This was the first year any of them would bring someone home. Robb had waited over two years before he brought Jeyne, Arya would finally introduce Gendry and Edmure would have brought Roslin.

Perhaps the advantage of being here was that she wouldn’t be the only adult without a partner. Being single here wasn’t as confronting.

‘I doubt it’, Margaery said. She turned around, noticing Sansa.

‘Sansa dear, you’re back. Really don’t want to try a piece?’

‘Perhaps tomorrow’, Sansa said.

‘I’ll be off’, Willas said, opening the door to the hallway that had wisely been closed during the baking process.

As the others wished him good night he raised his eyebrows at Sansa.

_What?_

He wished his family fun and they quickly wished him good night before they turned back to the table, continuing their conversation.

She closed the garden door behind her, apprehensively looking at Willas. He nodded towards the hallway before disappearing.

_No. That couldn’t be._

_Things weren’t easy like that._

She was never lucky like that.

Sansa plucked her glass off the table, drinking the final swallows left in it. This was her fifth glass in seven hours, she was fine. It couldn’t be the alcohol clouding her reasoning. Which meant he had just really suggested they go to his room.

‘I’m going to bed, I still have to study a bit tomorrow morning’, Sansa explained.

‘What time is it?’ Margaery asked, tapping her phone. ‘Oh dear.’ It was past midnight.

‘Yeah, I won’t be staying long either. Sweet dreams’, Margaery smiled.

A part of her was almost insulted how no one thought it was strange she and Willas left so closely after each other. Was the thought of them together so inconceivable?

Her hesitation grew again as she ascended the stairs. She could still be mistaken. But her efforts to calm herself were in vain once she spotted his open bedroom door. She hadn’t imagined it. Less thinking, more doing, as the Tyrells said.

Her heartbeat picked up again. She was invited into Willas’ innermost sanctum. Who cared that it had been awkward at the pool? There was no more intimate room than a bedroom and she was welcomed into it.

_Sansa Stark, you are the luckiest bitch in Westeros._

She tapped on the door. Better double check.

‘Come in.’


	8. Chapter 8

The room was dark, but the light from the hallway was bright enough for her to take in the room. In a romantic comedy she’d find trinkets that provided an insight into young Willas, but any trace of boyhood was gone, if there ever had been. The bed was a fourposter from the Mad King era matching with the dark desk and closet decorated with wood-carvings of roses. Near the window that took up most of the wall across the door, a refractor telescope stood behind one empty desk chair and one comfortable chair in which Willas already sat. A cool breeze swept through the room. One of the windows was opened. 

Was this happening? She ventured into the room. The door to their joined bathroom was right beside his closet. Nerves fluttered into her stomach. It really wasn’t difficult to get to each other’s rooms.

‘Is that your suit for tomorrow?’ she asked, noticing the suit that hung in front of the closet.

He turned around in his chair.

‘Yeah, figured I was obliged to wear red on Christmas.’

It was a lovely burgundy velvet three-piece begging to be touched. She pressed her fingers against her thigh to resist.

‘Does it do?’ he asked.

‘It’s… suitable’, Sansa stammered, belatedly realizing how stupid she sounded. Joffrey would have mocked her forever. Willas was no Joffrey however, and said nothing.

‘I found the King’s Crown’, he announced, turning back to his telescope.

‘Oh.’

Her fingers slid across the fabric. It felt wonderful.

She forced herself to sit down in the empty seat. The window provided the most amazing overview of the snow covered garden. She could even see all the way down to the river Mander down below. The usually green orchards beside the river now glittered white.

‘It looks beautiful’, Sansa breathed. 

‘It’s a beautiful place’, Willas admitted.

‘Once I was of the belief that Oldtown was vastly superior but now… I’m happy to imagine myself living here.’

‘Don’t you already live here?’

He looked at her. His eyes almost black in the moonlight. ‘I live in Oldtown now and travel a lot for business in between. But in the end Margaery, Loras, Garlan and I will have to decide who will return to the ancestral house to live in it after our parents become too old to look after it on their own. It’s our family’s possession and Grade One listed heritage. Isn’t Winterfell as well?’

‘Oh. Like that. Yes Winterfell is listed as well. Also grade one.’

‘You never discussed who was going to inherit? Talked about who wanted it?’

‘It was a rather short discussion’, Sansa laughed. ‘Northland’s laws are mostly based on the old customs of the North. The law states that houses that were entailed, stay entailed unless someone’s final will says otherwise. Which in Winterfell boils down to: unless all my brothers die first, I don’t get it. Robb has always been the heir to Winterfell. Dad has other properties, and wealth so if he dies we can either use those or sell them and divide the profits. Robb is fine with getting almost zero money because he knows that Winterfell is the most expensive thing he can inherit.’

‘But does he want Winterfell?’ Willas asked, turning fully towards her. The moonlight robbed his skin of its colour, turning it a radiant white. Her gaze flickered downwards, he’d undone two more buttons, allowing her a lovely glimpse of his chest.

‘If he didn’t want it, your father could just stipulate otherwise in his will. I mean, what if Robb say, like me for a long time, was indifferent to it while you or your other brother you once talked about, wanted it very much?’

Sansa blinked, shaking herself out of her drooling.

‘I think dad would change it if that were the case, but it isn’t. Bran doesn’t want Winterfell. We’ve made some changes to the place but it’s hard to get reconstruction permits. So Winterfell is not very wheelchair-friendly. I imagine he’ll one day find himself a very nice one story house he can navigate easily. Arya is too much of a free spirit to be forever tied down to Winterfell. She loves it with a burning passion, but lording over a space such as Winterfell would require a lot of attention, funds, and on-ground presence. She doesn’t want that for herself and knows Robb has no issue with that. Rickon is… five-and-ten. He’s not even thinking about it right now.’

‘And you?’ he asked, leaning on his armrest.

‘I’ve thought about it. I love Winterfell dearly. And I’m sure I could handle it if I were supported by a partner. But I don’t have the same passion for it as Robb. He’s a Northerner through and through. I believe I’ve come to appreciate the North better as I grew older but… Robb was always like: “I stay in the North, and my work and partner will just have to be here as well.” He’s lucky Jeyne is willing to move from Westerland to Northland. Meanwhile I’m of the opinion that I want a partner and work I enjoy. And if that is in the North: great. If it isn’t, so be it. I’m fine with moving. I do draw the line at being a day removed from Winterfell though. Should something ever happen I want to be able to go home.’

Willas nodded. ‘I understand that. I also wouldn’t want to be too far removed from my family. Oldtown and Highgarden are three hundred fifty miles removed from each other, if I drive at five-and-seventy miles per hour I’m there in about five hours. Winterfell is something similar, isn’t it?’

Sansa frowned. How did they go from comparing the distance between where they lived and where their family lived to the distance between Winterfell and Highgarden? And how could Willas be so wrong about the distance? He was over a thousand and five hundred miles off.

‘Oh Gods no, Winterfell to Highgarden is over two thousand miles.’

‘Oh, so that’s like what, a twenty-six hour drive?’ he questioned.

‘Oh no, the first five hundred miles are in the North. The speed limit is a lot higher there since it isn’t as populated. I’m through Northland in five and a half hours. And the Kingsroad in the Crownlands is five-and-eighty miles an hour; So I’d say it’s only a full day’s ride. But not more. Even less when you speed’, Sansa smirked conspiratorially. 

‘Interesting. Geography, not my strength’, Willas laughed casually.

‘Nor mine. But I’ve gotten good at calculating travel time with how often I have to go to King’s Landing and occasionally go to Highgarden. But most times I just take the train.’

‘The train?’ Willas questioned.

‘Yeah, the high-velocity train. You know, the one that goes from the Wall to Dorne and stops in every capitol of Westeros? I hop on in Winterfell and I’m in Highgarden in under twelve hours.’

‘That’s fast’, Willas nodded appreciatively.

‘Yeah. Pretty nice. And comfy too’, Sansa agreed, biting her lip. How had they gotten to this topic again?

‘So anyway, want to see the King’s Crown?’ Willas asked.

‘Oh yes, of course’, Sansa said.

‘See for yourself. If you don’t know how to spot it. I’ve got this app, it shows you how to recognize it’, Willas explained, unlocking his phone.

The telescope was angled more towards him. Sansa’s hand rose, but she realized she couldn’t turn it without losing the image. She had to scoot closer towards him. She pushed her chair closer, until they were armrest to armrest. It still wasn’t enough. She’d have to dangle her head slightly over the armrest.

She wished she could ask him to move his chair, but she didn’t dare. Perhaps that was hard for him to do.

‘Can I?’ Sansa asked, signalling at the telescope.

‘Sure’, Willas said as he withdrew to the other side of his chair.

Sansa leaned forward, wrapping her hand around the telescope. She couldn’t believe her hair was hanging above – and probably laying on – Willas’ lap.

She saw the stars sharply. And could distinguish some bigger and smaller ones but… what shape did it have? She assumed a crown. But was it one with pins or a circlet?

‘Could I have the?’

Before she finished, Willas had offered his phone.

‘Thanks.’

She leaned back slightly, accepting the phone. A circlet. She could feel his chest brushing against the back of her hair. A shiver ran down her spine. She moved forward again, pressing her eye against the telescope.

Was she really expected to be able to focus this way?

‘I see it. Cool, I had never spotted that one before.’

She stood up, taking a step forward so she was against the window.

‘Over there?’ she asked.

‘Bit more to the right, and a bit higher’, he informed her.

She scoured the night sky for the stars, finding it not far away from the Crone’s Lantern.

‘Found it. Got to keep in mind where it is so I can find it again’, she explained. ‘It’s hard to find some of the stars with the bare eye (though.’

‘Yes. Some are quite far away’, Willas admitted calmly.

She sat back down again. Willas was typing on his phone.

‘What next? The Stallion or the Mountaincat?’ he asked.

‘The mountaincat’, Sansa decided.

‘You want to try?’ he offered.

‘Oh no. I don’t know anything about telescopes. Only that they are handy to stargaze’, she blushed.

Willas smirked, putting his hands back on it again.

She stared as he bent forward. With his head cocked to the side his curls obscured his entire face. Her eyes fell on his rolled-up sleeves. She could see a sliver of his inky black tattoo peeking out from underneath.

_Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end._

It almost sounded like a promise now. Did he only ask her over for some stargazing? Or to end the first part of their relationship after being mere acquaintances for years?

‘There you are’, Willas muttered. The adjustments he made became smaller, inching the telescope any which way with the most delicate of touches.

‘Got her’, he proudly declared. Willas showed Sansa an L-shape with four short lines underneath on his phone, meant to represent a shadowcat. The telescope was even further towards Willas’ lap now.

‘May I -uhm…’

‘Sure’, Willas replied, leaning back so Sansa had space.

She had to hang so far she had to support her elbow on Willas’ armrest furthest away from her. Her arm was touching his now, and her back hovered almost against his chest. She was profusely aware of his body. Every breath he took moved her hair.

‘You once said we met at New Year’s’, Willas started as Sansa searched the sky for the stars. She shivered.

_Yes, it had been a night like this._

‘Did we talk or just meet in passing? I uhm, still can’t remember those days. I’ve asked everyone I know I spoke to during those days about my actions. I know it’s been very long and the night was probably as chaotic and alcoholic for you as for the rest of us. So it’s fine if you don’t remember but…’

She could feel him shrugging.

Sansa’s hands trembled around the telescope. Her muscles were tense, readt to run. But she couldn’t.

‘I got some fragments, flashes of images, words. But even those are vague. I’m not entirely sure where my memories end and where my imagination begins. That’s how memory works, my doctor said. People tell you things that happened and you imagine that you remember them happening. Or when you do have memories your brain tries to fill in the gaps to make sense of them. Anything would be nice to help me get at least a bit of that night back.’

‘We talked a bit, not a lot’, she answered curtly. Her nerves cut off her breath.

Willas remained silent.

And remained silent.

Her sight grew blurry. She couldn’t focus. These memories had been hers alone for so long that she felt reluctant to share them. They were intimate and dear to her. But they were Willas’ memories too. She couldn’t keep his memories from him.

‘About the dawn chorus and birds and the colours of the sky’, she added.

‘Bit of an odd topic on a New Year’s party’, Willas wondered.

‘Well we were standing outside during the sunrise so it was a normal topic, given the time and location’, she replied.

 _Damn why couldn’t she find the stars?_ They had to be there, in the narrow frame Willas had given her.

She could hear Willas breathing in.

_He remembered parts and fragments._

Her blood froze over as the words finally registered in her mind. He couldn’t possibly –

No.

Could he remember her perfume? Their kiss? Their talk?

‘At the front with the smokers or in the back with the swing?’ he asked.

Sansa’s cheeks burned. She felt as guilty as a criminal caught red handed.

‘The garden with the swing.’

She swallowed and focussed again. She finally connected two stars on the underside. A leg.

That meant the body had to be – yes… she’d found the body as well. Soon she’d be able to withdraw. She could lie and say she’d seen it, but she felt reluctant to do that.

‘Do you – I know it’s been years – happen to remember anything else about what I did?’

‘Uhm not really, you thought me and Margaery were a couple’, she laughed.

Willas’ chest connected with her back as he chuckled, bringing to live the butterflies in her belly.

‘Yeah. I can see how I got that impression.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You two are very close and affectionate. And you’re kind of Margaery’s type.’

‘Only on first sight. Even so, it’s honestly so unhealthy, this idea you can’t touch your friends or risk appearing to be in a relationship with them’, Sansa said. ‘Especially with lockdown, who else did we have to hold over in King’s Landing?’

Sansa drew back. 

Willas’ gaze was calculating, a soft smile on his lips.

‘I’m not trying to regulate how someone can enjoy a friendship. There’s nothing wrong with being very close friends or even occasionally crossing the friendship line. It’s just an assumption easily made. I should know.’

‘You should know?’

Willas huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes.

‘What? Now you’ve got to tell’, Sansa pushed with a laugh.

Willas scrolled through his phone, searching for the next constellation.

‘People used to assume things about me… and Oberyn. Sometimes they were right, sometimes they weren’t. Alright, the Galley’, he decided, bending over the telescope again.

Oberyn?

Oberyn!

_‘I’ll come out.’_

_‘Oh, that will make Oberyn very happy’, Renly teased._

Well that comment suddenly made sense.

‘Hasn’t he been with Ellaria for over a decade?’

Willas chuckled, twisting the telescope. ‘They are. But they uhm… allow each other some freedom. They especially did in the beginning. But as I said, we were only friends. Yet many people assumed that it wasn’t just friendship.’

Sansa was going to faint. Being as beautiful as they all were, the Tyrells could get anyone they set their eye on. Perhaps it was only natural that half of the Tyrell children had decided not to limit themselves to one gender. But Oberyn Martell?

How could someone who fell for sex bomb Oberyn Martell ever fall for the blushing Sansa Stark?

 _Willas says he and Oberyn are only friends. Friends with benefits is about sexual fulfilment without wanting to seek a relationship or a stranger._ _Calm down Sansa. He obviously didn’t want a relationship with him,_ he brain told her.

‘And that was that?’ Willas asked casually as he twisted the telescope up a little.

Oh, right. New Year’s Eve.

‘I think so. I mean, I think I remember seeing you kiss a girl with black hair around midnight but things are vague. Tequila’, Sansa said, keeping her tone nice and airy.

‘Red dress?’

‘Maybe, I don’t remember.It’s been five years’, Sansa laughed. It was red. Blood red. As red as the lipstick she’d worn.

‘Probably Arianne Martell. She was by my side in some pictures.’

‘You sure like that family’, she laughed, hoping her saltiness wasn’t audible.

Willas chuckled. ‘Good old days.’

The story of their kiss burned on her tongue, leaving her lips tingling and her body cold. How would he even respond to such a revelation? He’d probably ask why she never told him before. She had no answer for that.

‘Yeah good old days, back when parties and casual kissing were still possible’, Sansa smiled. She couldn’t relate at all. Casual affection had never been her thing. Willas had been the only one she’d ever kissed without it leading up to a relationship.

‘I’m not big on parties or casual kissing anymore. But I sure miss good dinner parties’, Willas decided.

A pressure fell off of Sansa’s heart. She already knew from the game that he was looking for a long term partner, but it felt good to hear him say that he wasn’t looking for that anymore. They were a lot more suited to each other now than they had been back then.

‘Oh I love that as well. I just love the whole excitement of pouring over recipes the days prior, doing the shopping. Chopping away at the vegetables while watching a series. Hanging around on the couch for hours after dinner is over. And all of that at home without having to bother with standing on heels or paying a ridiculous amount for a glass of wine. It just feels so relaxed.’

‘Exactly’, Willas smiled.

The knot in her belly mellowed, melting as she watched him finetune the position of the telescope.

‘The stallion is primitively drawn, two legs, no tail, no ears. Sideview’, Willas explained as he leaned back. ‘It’s the name the Dothraki culture gave to it. The old tribes beyond the wall named it the Horned Lord. Whatever deity that might have been. Perhaps being from the north, you know who they named it after?’

‘No clue I’m afraid’, Sansa admitted as she leaned over the armrest to watch the image on his phone. Willas bent forward a little to look at his phone as well. Sansa was all too aware that her head was practically leaning against his shoulder.

‘It contains one of the furthest still visible stars in our solar system. As well as one of the brightest, and a dead one. It’s already no longer visible with the naked eye, but through the telescope you’ll be able to see a red giant at the rear. Since it’s at the end, it must have once been very bright, otherwise they wouldn’t have picked that one to be at the end of the constellation. Or at least that’s what I believe.’

Sansa bent over, rushing to get away from him before her blood started boiling. This time she quickly found the brightest star and drew the line to the romp easily.

‘I see’, she announced proudly, continuing the lines and even spotting the red one fairly easily.

‘Is it called the stallion because of the horse worship?’

‘Yes’, he said. ‘They have a very cohesive view of the sky. When people die, they believe the horse god welcomes them in his starry khalasar in the sky. So they saw the stars as their ancestors who watched over them. They also believed the moon was a goddess, and wife to the sun.’

‘How romantic’, Sansa smiled as she observed the constellation.

‘Bit sad if you ask me, husband and wife always separated’, Willas joked.

‘Probably divorced’, Sansa giggled.

Willas chuckled as well.

Her heart soared. She could talk with him like this forever. She feared the moment they would run out of constellations or time. She still had to wake up for work tomorrow morning.

Sansa drew back.

‘You must have spent a lot of time out on that balcony at night’, Sansa said.

‘I did when I was young. Took out some sheets and laid down in the summer, watching the sky. As a child I was quickly obsessed with things, determined to learn everything about them. Don’t know where I lost it. I guess life got busy with sports and homework during my last two years of high school. And afterwards my nights weren’t exactly spent quietly at home. Unless right before a big competition. And then I slept of course’, he mused, eyes wistfully looking at the sky.

‘Sometimes I feel like the world is so vast and full of possibilities and interesting things that the choices seem limitless. And at the same time, I know I don’t have the time to do it all. So I feel torn and sad for all the things I can’t do. I seemed to have more time as a child, more time to discover and learn’, Sansa admitted, as she looked at the stars with him.

Willas nodded, face sympathetic.

‘What’s your most obscure obsession? Since you apparently know two of mine already… the birds and the night sky’, he asked, perching up in his chair as he turned towards her.

He looked way too seductive while asking that. She couldn’t refuse him.

Sansa shook her head.

‘It’s silly.’

‘Don’t trust me with it?’ he asked smiling.

She clenched her knees together, forcing a smile.

‘No I trust you’, she admitted. ‘I just… I don’t think I ever told someone’, she mused. He had let her in on some of his interests, now it was her turn to give him some of hers.

‘I uhm… I can date clothing of the Baratheon era up until five years after the War of the Five Kings by the exact year. I’m way too interested in historical movies and dresses. And it drives me mad that almost all movies are off in fashion by about a decade or more. I don’t know a lot about Dorne, but I know a lot about royal court fashion and Northern fashion. Movies and series totally don’t respect that. For example they present Aegon’s bride with a deep cleavage and these long open-falling sleeves with no other sleeve underneath, but that makes no sense since it was winter when they took King’s Landing. There was snow so they wore layers and fashion had become more sober as well due to the sparrows and like there’s the stitching they always get wrong. They gave cross stitches to the Dowager Queen! And they put birds and lions on Dornish ladies. Don’t they know stitching patterns and embroidery are strongly tied to local cultures? It’s just –‘

She was interrupted by Willas’ chuckle.

‘I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. You’re very passionate and knowledgeable. I laugh because I never paid attention to any of that.’

‘Suppose almost nobody does. Not even the costuming department.’

‘But you can’t do that with other eras?’

‘No. I’ll notice when they’re half a century or a century off during other time periods but it is as I said. I have an addiction to everything related to the culture of that period. My interest in history is limited to only a couple time periods.’

‘So, is this the moment where I tell you we watch the movie series about Aegon the People’s King every year? Seeing the first part on Christmas Eve and the second on Christmas Day?’

‘Oh no’, Sansa moaned in mock horror. ‘True torture.’

‘No but just to be serious: I’m fine with it. I know movies from fifty years ago staunchly use the fashion of the Targaryen era because they consider it more pretty and stylish. I mean sure all actresses wear the heaviest smoky eyes and red lipstick while mascara was only invented a hundred years later but whatever, right?’, Sansa sighed.

‘You’ll survive?’

‘I’ll survive.’

‘Take a shot every time someone’s dressed incorrectly’, he joked.

‘I haven’t found enough elves for the amount of gin I’ll need I’m afraid’, Sansa laughed.

‘No worries. I’ll help you retrieve them if they’re hidden too high again’, he smiled.

‘Maybe I just need some space cake, then I can reach the high places myself’, she joked.

_Oh terrible, Stark._

Willas’ brow creased.

‘That was a lame one’, Sansa decided.

Willas nodded slowly, a smile cracking through his face.

Her heart skipped a beat. Being around him like this was just an assault on her senses. He was too close, too handsome, too friendly, and all alone in the dark like this her thoughts went down paths they shouldn’t.

However, before either of them could decide what to do or talk about next they noticed the sound of footsteps in the hall.

They both jumped in their chairs, eyes flying to the door. Sansa had left it open.

Sansa froze. She couldn’t walk out now, that would look suspicious. But if the door was open, others could look in. Her survival instinct took over, sending her rushing to the door to close it very very softly.

She held onto the door to keep from sinking to the floor after the adrenaline left her.

‘Narrowly avoided being assumed of being together with a second Tyrell’, Willas teased.

_Oh, if only they had actual reason to believe that._

‘Yeah, the horror. I mean, according to Leonette we basically signed a marriage contract with that little kiss under the mistletoe. They don’t need much more to assume anything’, Sansa laughed with a frail voice.

She was dying.

No she was pretty sure she was dead already.

‘Shit is that right? I haven’t even got a ring yet.’

The hairs on Sansa’s back rose. That voice sounded very close.

‘Then you immediately know what to get me for Christmas’, she japed.

Dare she turn around?

‘Went to the shop today.’

‘Oh’, she brought out, turning around.

He was a lot closer. Not even a foot removed. With the door closed the room was now fully shrouded in darkness, his features no more distinguishable than the Stranger’s.

How odd she’d been panicking about him while he was buying her a present. Margaery was right, she should stop overanalysing and imagining things.

‘You liked diamonds right?’ he joked.

‘You can’t give me a ring tomorrow, that day’s already reserved’, Sansa nervously shot back.

‘What?’

‘Shit.’

‘No, actually what? I’m not following?’ Willas asked, taking a step closer.

‘I can’t tell. I promised Garlan.’

‘Garlan’s going to propose tomorrow?’ Willas asked, successfully guessing why someone else couldn’t propose on that day.

‘Not tomorrow. No. No.’

‘Than why is it reserved?’

‘I can’t tell’, she stammered, cheeks burning in embarrassment.

_Sansa Stark, you absolute disaster. You couldn’t keep a secret for half a week!_

‘If the day’s reserved I don’t see for what other reason... Renly and Loras?’

 _Fuck_.

She couldn’t very well lie?

‘Yeah’, Sansa admitted.

‘So… You said not tomorrow about Garlan… which means he _is_ going to propose soon’, Willas reasoned. He was far too clever by half.

‘Yeah.’

‘Damn, half of us engaged by the end of the year. We’re getting old.’

‘Looks like you’ll have to start attending parties again somewhere in the future’, Sansa teased.

‘Yeah apparently. But hey, at least I can fully participate again now’, he smirked.

‘You don’t need to be able to dance to enjoy a party’, she pointed out, feeling she had to protect Bran’s ability to have fun without being able to dance.

‘Of course. But personally, I really did enjoy dancing. And did miss it when I couldn’t.’

She remembered dancing with Oberyn in front of him. And suddenly felt guilty.

No wonder he’d been so silent and had looked so sombre.

‘You’re a good dancer.’

‘Nowhere near as good as I used to be.’

‘You just need a bit of practice, it’s been some time’, she shrugged.

‘Perhaps. It’s hard to find a partner to practice with in these circumstances though’, he said, taking another step closer.

Her body tensed as she was cornered. It excited her as he drew closer. She wanted him to steal away her private space.

‘A true shame. I’m sure in a regular year you wouldn’t run short of options.’

‘Don’t need many options, just one good one.’

Sansa’s heart skipped a beat.

He paused.

‘Was that a sneaky way to say I’m handsome?’

‘You Tyrells really are a bunch of vain pricks, aren’t you?’ Sansa huffed, shooting to the defensive. ‘I already said you were _all_ handsome.’

She felt he could see straight through her. Like the first place she’d given him in the competition was written on her forehead.

Willas chuckled, taking a step away.

‘Here I thought I’d had my vanity beaten out of me for the most part. Guess that number one spot went straight to my head.’

‘Clearly’, Sansa noted wryly.

‘Was it Leo’s idea?’ Willas asked.

‘Was what Leo’s idea?’

‘Putting me first. Or at least not the lowest.’

‘Why would she propose that?’ Sansa asked, pushing herself away from the door.

‘No reason, forget it’, he shrugged, taking another step backwards.

‘No, I’m curious now’, Sansa said, so invested she couldn’t help but take a step forward every time he took one back.

‘Come one, Garlan? Loras? And I end up on top?’ he asked, taking another step back. He wrung his scarred hands together.

‘Not saying I’m bad, I just know the competition. In the land of gods, I’m but a demigod.’

‘You can make even insecurity sound arrogant’, Sansa teased while all she wanted to say was that he had earned that top spot. But doing that would mean admitting her preference for him. It would also make it worse. Because that meant there were only four points left to divide between the other three voters. Meaning those three people, except for one person, had put him lowest.

‘If it makes you feel any better, we didn’t talk it over in any way. We all ranked you, the couples unable to rank their partners, and folded our notes. Margaery was the only one who saw them all. So Leo and Renly couldn’t go and tell who thought their sweetheart wasn’t the handsomest. The outcome even surprised Margaery’, Sansa smiled, shrugging.

Willas paused.

‘It surprised her?’ he asked.

Sansa swallowed. Couldn’t she say that?

She recounted again and again.

If he believed Leonette had decided not to rank him last out of pity, that meant there were five points left to distribute between the other judges. that could mean that two people gave him a two and one person gave him a one. Or that one person gave him a three and two others a one. They couldn’t have all given him a two or he would have had eight points.

_Fuck._

If the outcome surprised Margaery, that meant she hadn’t given him a high grade. If Willas believed she’d given him a two, that meant that either Sansa or Renly had to have given Willas a two. And if Margaery had given him a one that meant… either both had given him a two, or Sansa had given him a three and Renly had given him a one. Everyone knew Renly and Garlan were good buddies. Therefor Renly wouldn’t have ranked Willas highest. Which meant that either both Sansa and Margaery had given him a two, or – the more likely alternative if the outcome surprised Margaery – that Sansa had given him three points.

Suddenly it couldn’t be dark enough in the room. Sansa wanted nothing more than to disappear. Every hair on her body was raised, knowing, instinctively, that he was staring at her and figuring out the points.

‘I should get going’, Sansa muttered. ‘I have to study tomorrow.’

‘Right’, Willas said, clearing his throat. ‘Of course you do.’

‘I’m sorry I kept you’, he muttered.

He sounded… _sad_. It pulled on her heartstrings. This time she didn’t let her fear keep her from what she wanted to say.

‘You didn’t keep me. I stayed. My bedtimes are mine to watch over.’

It was silent between them, and Sansa realized she couldn’t even tell if he laughed or frowned in this darkness.

‘Good thing I don’t have to walk far’, she laughed.

‘Yes. Good thing’, he echoed. His voice sounded off.

What she’d give to know what was on his mind. Yet how it frightened her to even think about it.

‘Good night.’

‘Sweet dreams, Sansa.’ He said her name so softly, so tenderly. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and hide away from her scholarly responsibilities.

Instead she opened the bathroom door, stepped in, closed the door, and locked it.

She forced herself to stand, brush her teeth and take off her make-up before unlocking it and going out the other way.

Once in her bed, she finally allowed herself to fully panic. She could hear Willas rummaging in the bathroom right behind the headboard of her bed. He was right there, yet so far. She felt like the shortened distance between them taunted her. Now she had him close but she still didn’t know how to bridge the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? Leave a comment, show the writer some love <3


	9. Chapter 9

‘Hello?’

‘Hi Arya, Merry Christmas Eve Morning’, Sansa wished.

‘Sansa’, Arya brought out in surprise. ‘How’s it hanging?’

She rolled her eyes affectionately.

‘Just fine. Thank you. How are you?’

‘Just out of bed. Bread’s up’, Arya complained.

Sansa chuckled.

‘Can I get mom?’

‘Why do you need her? You have an issue?’

‘No, not really.’

‘Not really? Either you do or you don’t.’

‘Come on Arya. Can’t you just give her?’

‘What’s the matter?’ Arya laughed.

‘Oh no, this is not a boy issue is it?’ Arya demanded to know.

‘None of your business!’

‘So it is. Gods, don’t tell me you’re dating another southern blond brat.’

‘No. I’m not dating anyone. And I’ll never date another _southern blond brat_ ’, Sansa sighed.

‘So who is it? Gotta be someone you’re living with right now. Well it isn’t Marge and it can’t be Loras and Garlan’, Arya reasoned, checking off all Tyrells Sansa most frequently talked about.

‘Is it that guy whose car almost blew up on the circuit some years ago?’

‘Arya! That’s terribly rude.’

‘So it’s him.’

‘Just give me mom’, Sansa begged.

‘Fine. Mom! Mom! Ma!’ Arya shouted without removing the phone from her ear. Sansa cringed at the loud noise. ‘You know, that would actually be the first interesting person you’d date’, Arya commented.

‘Arya, what did I tell you about yelling? What must the guests think? Having you screeching like a dying dragon at nine in the morning.’

‘The guests are our boyfriend and girlfriend. I think it has little use pretending to them’, Arya quipped.

‘See ya’, Arya said unceremoniously before passing the phone along.

‘Sansa, sweetheart.’

‘Mom, hi.’

‘How is it going over there in the south? Are you alright? Are you safe? Is everyone healthy? Are they treating you well?’

‘Yes, it’s nice here. Everyone is very kind to me. And everyone is as healthy as a fish. How is it going over there?’

‘All good. Your father has a cold but that’s it. How is school going?’

‘I’m on track’, Sansa said, smiling at her stack of finished work. She’d done even more than she had to since waking up at eight unable to fall asleep again. ‘I’m even ahead of schedule.’

‘Oh that’s great sweetheart. Now tell me, what are you going to do tonight?’

‘Apparently they share our tradition of the mother doing the main course while the children make the appetizers and first course so I’ll be in the kitchen decorating crackers and arranging the raw fish platter. And then we’ll get ready and at five we’ll uncork the champagne and present the cold appetizers, next the warm appetizers. Marge told me we’ll play the piano and boardgames. Normally they have a lot of guests and just talk but that’s off the table.’

Her mother hummed on the other side. ‘Yes, we’re starting at six but it’ll be much the same. Only that your father insists on watching the news so that will be a lovely pastime over champagne’, Catelyn responded with the tired affection that warmed Sansa’s heart. 

‘Oh let me guess what else you are having: tomato soup?’ she asked waiting for her mother to agree. ‘Then… trout as a first course?’ that was a staple Catelyn Stark had taken from her own holiday traditions to Winterfell with her. ‘And of course the poached pear, cranberries, winter vegetables and croquettes. And desert will be ice cream cake?’

‘You know it’, Catelyn laughed. ‘Rickon and Arya pressured me into buying both tater tots and smiley croquettes.’

‘They didn’t’, Sansa laughed. She could very well imagine that.

‘What will you wear tonight?’ her mother asked.

‘I planned on wearing my golden heels and my blue velvet dress. You know, the one with the golden stars on it?’ Sansa asked.

‘Oh yes, that looks lovely on you’, her mother agreed. ‘And it’s very seasonal.’

‘I know. But then this morning I started thinking about wearing my red dress. The one with the square neckline and the skirt that reaches until my knees?’ Sansa asked. ‘Red is the most Christmas-y colour someone can wear, right?’ Sansa said.

‘Sansa, that’s a cocktail dress’, Catelyn said.

Sansa cringed. She knew. The dress had no sleeves and was incredibly tight. She was hesitant for those exact reasons. But Willas would be wearing red too. However, she knew that was no argument she could tell her mom.

Her eyes slid back to the sheet of paper underneath her hand.

She’d barely been able to sleep. It had taken over an hour of tossing and turning before she fell asleep, and she’d shot awake at eight with no chance of further rest. She’d used the early awakening to study, immediately getting all her work out of the way so she could allow her mind to wander without feeling guilty. She couldn’t stop thinking about Willas after the previous evening.

 _‘Make a list of what he does around you, not what you think he thinks about you’,_ Margaery had told her, and she’d done just that.

And so, in neat cursive, she’d written down a comprehensive list of everything she had done that might have given away her interest, and all he had done that might indicate he liked her. She’d been certain the evidence against her would have been incriminating. However, putting it on paper revealed, shockingly enough, that Willas had taken more steps to be close to her than she had done to be close to him. She tried to look at it in an objective way. Finding reasons that explained his behaviour but she couldn’t help but hope once she saw it all listed in neat cursive.

Sansa:

  1. Saying he would do something wonderful with his life despite not knowing him.
  2. Asked to know how he made mulled wine
  3. Complimented his dancing skills
  4. Called all Tyrells attractive
  5. Kind of gave away she considered him the hottest Tyrell
  6. Stared and stuttered a lot



Willas:

  1. Kissing her (might have been a drunken impulse)
  2. Came outside, offered his coat and made a snowman and snowangel with her
  3. Protected her against Margaery during snowball fight
  4. Joked about not being as cool as Frosty?
  5. Defended her when Loras called her boring
  6. Offered her to watch him make wine
  7. Asked her for a second dance
  8. Picked a wine to drink she would like
  9. Invited her to his bedroom – while deliberately undoing some buttons and making sure they were constantly touching???
  10. Hinted that he wanted her as a dancing partner
  11. Offered to help her find and reach the elf on the shelf



And then there was this intrusive thought that had haunted her while she lay awake last night.

 _‘Did you feel they understood you and you understood them? That you really saw each other?’_ Leonette had asked him the previous night when trying to determine whether he’d ever fallen in love with someone at first sight, or shortly after meeting them.

Willas had responded to every question with: ‘I did.’

But to that one he had responded with: _‘I do.’_ I do, is present tense. Meaning he still feels understood by that person and understood them in turn. It indicated that he was _still_ in love right at this moment. She couldn’t help but think back on all the moments they had said to each other that they understood one another. How often had she felt deeply understood by him recently?

The only other logical explanation could be that he was currently texting with someone else. But he rarely touched his phone.

‘Sansa, what will the other women wear?’ her mother asked, calling her back to the conversation.

‘I don’t know yet. Haven’t asked.’

‘Of course if everyone will wear such sexy dresses I can understand’, her mother said hesitantly, uncomfortably spitting out the word sexy. ‘But I would have thought since it will be a very intimate party this year, everyone would dress down a bit.’

‘Yeah’, Sansa muttered. ‘I don’t know’, she sighed, pushing herself away from her desk. She rolled through her room in her chair, eyes tracing the figures carved into her wooden dresser.

‘Sweetheart, does anything trouble you?’

‘Mom, I’m in love’, Sansa sighed, letting the weight fall off her chest. She didn’t want to put it delicately. She just wanted comfort.

‘Oh’, her mother said.

Sansa swallowed as the other end of the line grew silent.

‘So suddenly?’

‘It’s not sudden’, Sansa breathed, her eyes darting to the doors in her bedroom.

‘Do I know this person?’

‘Not really. I’ve only talked about them once or twice before.’

‘Alright. And you met this person during lockdown?’

‘No, I met them before. Years before’, she admitted with a tiny laugh.

‘Mhm. And what is the matter?’

‘I’m afraid, I think’, Sansa spat out, finally cutting to the issue.

Suddenly it didn’t suffice to sit in her chair anymore. She flung herself onto her bed, cradling her pillow against her chest.

‘Of what? Has he been mean to you Sansa? Cruel? Mocked you? Is he dangerous?’

‘No, no. None of that. He’s… He’s really _really_ nice. He… he’s mature. And he’s calm and funny and gentle. And he loves history and science and even knows economics. When I talk to him I feel like I could talk forever. And he never mocks me once, even when we’re talking about something I know nothing of. Mom, he even defended me when someone called me boring.’

‘You are not boring. You are proper, there’s a difference’, Catelyn Stark replied with cold anger.

Her mother sighed on the other end of the line.

‘So then what’s the problem?’

‘I’ve been sort of a little in love with him for five years.’

‘Five years? Sweetheart you can’t. What about Joffrey and Harry?’

‘I loved them’, Sansa sighed. ‘But I also thought about him… every time I met him I thought about how wonderful he was.’

‘But nothing happened?’

‘No. It’s… Well. We always met in passing. There was never really an opportunity?’

‘And you’re saying there is a lot of opportunity now? With closed borders and government prohibitions to see people or be close to them?’ her mother asked sceptically.

‘It’s Margaery’s brother.’

‘I thought he was gay’, Catelyn muttered.

‘Not him, the oldest one. Willas’, Sansa breathed, afraid to even speak his name.

‘How much older?’ Catelyn asked.

‘About five or six years’, Sansa shrugged.

‘That’s alright, I guess. Or well, it is now that you’ll be starting work soon’, her mother decided. ‘But dear, I don’t see how you being in love with him is a problem. I’d say that’s a prerequisite.’

‘Well, that’s the thing. I love him… And I’m awfully afraid he doesn’t love me. I can barely sleep just thinking about it. I’ve always kind of loved him, but I’m afraid my heart will break a little if I leave here after the holidays because then I’ll have to miss him for the gods know how long, or he’ll realize I love him and turn me down. In which case my heart will break a lot.’

‘Why would he refuse you sweetheart?’

‘Because I don’t know. I’m young… Not as wise, travelled or experienced as he’d like. I can be stupid, and panicky and a prude and shy and insecure. I might just not be his type.’

‘And you are warm, kind, sweet, refined and charming. And stop calling yourself unwise and stupid. That’s those silly boys talking because you didn’t agree with their stupid opinions. You’ve got a master’s degree Sansa. You’re obviously not stupid. Any man who desires a stable, mature and nurturing relationship would be happy to have you’, her mother protested.

Her mother’s love seeped into the cracks the boys who hurt her before had created, softly mending it again, as she had done so often in the past. She hugged the pillow a bit tighter.

‘Sansa?’

‘Still here.’

‘If you’re afraid of rejection then just wait and see what happens. Let it be a test for his determination. If he really wants you, he’ll do his best to win you over. If he is fine with you walking away after the holidays and is too lazy or cowardly to make an effort and be open about his feelings for you, he doesn’t deserve you. You don’t have to make it easy for him by throwing yourself in his lap. You’re worth the effort.’

‘Thanks’, Sansa muttered.

‘Wear the blue dress, Sansa. It looks lovely on you and does wonders for your hair and eyes. You don’t need to put on that skimpy dress to draw his attention.’

‘I didn’t want to do it for that!’ Sansa protested.

‘Sansa,’ her mother spoke calmly, ‘chin up. You’re a Stark, I know that northern level-headedness and stoicism must be in there somewhere.’

‘Thanks mom.’

‘And as a Tully, use those blue eyes to your advantage. They’ve always worked for me, Edmure and Lysa.’

Sansa let out a surprised laugh. Yes, they did manage to always get who they set their eyes on. Her mother had made every boy swoon back in her day, Lysa had managed to tie down Petyr Baelish after a decade and her uncle had tried out every woman who fell for his bright blue eyes.

‘Thanks mom’, she said without irony this time.

‘Sansa, I do wish it will work out for you.’

‘Mhm.’

‘Try to put it out of your mind for now and have some fun. It’s a pleasant day out here, is it over there as well?’

‘Yes, a bright day. Even though it freezes.’

Her mother hummed in agreement. ‘Don’t waste the day fretting in your room.’

‘Mhm. I mean I won’t’, Sansa promised.

‘And a happy early Christmas Eve, Sansa.’

‘Happy Christmas Eve too mom. Give everyone my love. Hugs and kisses.’

‘Hugs and kisses back’, her mother said.

‘Goodbye.’

‘Goodbye, my love’, her mother said before ending the call.

Sansa moaned, pressing her face in the pillow.

She was nothing more than a miserable bundle of nerves. But her mother was right. She had to get up. Today was the sweater competition. She would do that, take things one by one. The monstrosity was bright red with a big glittering green tree on it. The tree was decorated with a chord of lights that she could actually light up. And if she pressed a button inside her sweater, it started the instrumental version of “Jingle Bells”. She put her hair in a big red scrunchie and went over to the bathroom to do her make-up.

For the first time, she could actually hear something from the other side of the bathroom. Willas was in his room, talking to someone. Sansa couldn’t help herself and leaned against the door. She couldn’t hear a second voice. It had to be a phone call.

‘You always think I should’, she heard him say.

‘No, actually. It’s not enough.’

Sansa wondered what he was talking about. And with whom.

‘No. No! I’m not saying I need a billboard with flickering lights but just… something, anything would be nice.’

Her heart started racing. Did he want something from that person?

‘Yeah probably. I mean, after everything I’ve learned I’m certain.’

She was an inch removed from screaming. Who was he talking to? What did he learn? What was he certain of?

‘Yes I did. No. I didn’t… You know how I thought about such things. How I still think about it.’

‘Yes you know. It was uhm. That one party for Loras. Yeah. Yeah I know it was long ago. Yes I know you took some shit that day. No. No. No. After that. Yes, that’s the name. Yes you did. Yes I did. What do you mean that wasn’t the first time? It sure was. You said you didn’t know – ‘

Willas remained silent. Shivers ran down her arms. What were they discussing.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, his voice growing silent.

‘When?’

‘But… Why didn’t you ever tell me?’

‘I explicitly told you to tell me everything, no matter how insignificant!’

His voice swelled and Sansa cowered away from the door. Whatever they were talking about sure made him passionate. Sansa sank through her legs. She was sure they wouldn’t be able to support her much longer.

‘You piece of shit, not so insignificant now is it? No wonder. Fuck.’

‘No I didn’t. Only yesterday. No, not a word. Perhaps forgotten? I mean alcohol’s a bitch sometimes. Or perhaps things have changed since then. I mean, I know I wouldn’t repeat everything I do at three o’clock at night.’

Yesterday? What of it. What had someone forgotten yesterday? Sansa froze, his words coming back to her. He’d asked her about New Year’s Eve. He’d told her he would understand if she didn’t remember due to consuming alcohol. Was he talking about that? About her?

She bemoaned the old days when people had to call by house phone. Then she could have just picked up another phone in the house to listen in. He was talking about her, potentially. About her forgetting something about New Year’s Eve.

Oh gods.

She was going to be sick.

He couldn’t possibly be talking about…

‘I said that? What day? Oh seven fuck me seven times over. You mean to say that if _that_ hadn’t happened I would have… I need a drink.’

His laugh sounded hollow.

Sansa swallowed. He was referencing the accident. Something had happened around it.

‘Perhaps it was a mercy. I can’t imagine what that would have been like. With me being… Yeah yeah I know what you think, you buggering romantic. Personally I wouldn’t have wanted to drag anyone through that. I was an absolute dick to anyone around me back then, remember? And perhaps I wouldn’t have remembered that either. It would have been miserable.’

‘If the accident hadn’t happened? I don’t know. Didn’t you always tell me it was unhealthy of me to speculate about what-ifs?’

Sansa crawled as Willas listened to whoever replied on the other end.

‘Perhaps yes. But on the other hand. I wasn’t in the right mindset for… things changed because of it. I changed. Perhaps it’s for the better. Well, kind of. On one hand it probably wouldn’t have been the best me but at least it would have been the whole me… Yeah yeah, internalized ableism don’t give me the preach.’

‘Yeah, I know I once said that. A clean break. Lucky you I made some exceptions though, didn’t I?’ Willas laughed.

‘I guess I made the exception for the same reason. I never felt like I was lesser. I always felt, well… almost normal. I sometimes even forget around –‘ Willas interrupted himself, probably because the other person was talking.

‘Yeah’, Willas laughed.

‘Anyway, definitely stuff for thought. Thank you for telling me, way too late. I will blame you for that. Asshole.’

Willas chuckled, and Sansa couldn’t help from smiling either. Just the sound was enough to fill her with a phantom happiness as well.

‘Bye Oberyn. Give her my love.’

Oberyn.

Sansa swallowed, standing up again when the other side became quiet. Her mind was whirling with a storm of thoughts. What had he and Oberyn been talking about?

It didn’t matter. She was expected downstairs. She could always think on it later. Now she just had to put on some basic make-up. She had to redo it for tonight anyways. She quickly smudged some copper on her eyelids, lined them with the eye pencil Margaery had given her. Mascara, eyebrows, concealer, powder, lip balm. Done.

She’d just walked back into her bedroom, her hand still on the door she’d closed behind her, when she heard the bathroom creak open from the other side.

Just in time. She tiptoed to her black suede boots, quickly sliding in them before slipping out of her room quiet as a mouse.

She could hear music emanating from Margaery’s room and went to pick her up to go downstairs. Margaery hadn’t made a lot of progress but decided to retire her efforts anyways, eagerly pulling on the sweater she’d ordered with a Christmas cat on it.

‘Garlan’s going to lose and he’s going to be pissed’, Margaery laughed as they floated out of her room.

‘Sometimes I really do believe there is such a thing as too old for something’, Olenna Tyrell growled, striding through the living room with one hand steadily holding a glass of wine and using the other for her cane.

‘I don’t know why Alerie indulges her children’s childish impulses.’

Her silver hair was in an immaculate bun. She wore a muted golden skirt and a blouse with frilly sleeves that looked to be from the previous century peeked out from underneath a green Christmas sweater. It was a sturdy woollen example with a single line of reindeer and gingerbread men going around her shoulders.

She paused, taking a sip of her wine as she looked at Sansa.

‘Clearly you don’t feel too old to waste good money on sweaters you can wear two weeks of the year’, Olenna decided. ‘But you’re the youngest in the house, aren’t you?’ she questioned.

It was in that moment Sansa realized she hadn’t put on foundation meaning everyone could see the blood rushing to her cheeks. She didn’t like to admit being the youngest in the house with Willas being the oldest of all children.

‘Yes’, she admitted, feeling a thumb high.

Olenna came closer, taking the material of her sweater between her thumb and index finger.

‘Are those… lamps?’

‘Yes’, Sansa admitted.

‘Warrior save me’, Olenna sighed, nodding to herself.

‘You’re brave girl. I respect that. First taking two bottles of gin, angering Loras and now Garlan’s sweater crown. You do know these kids aren’t used to losing?’

‘There’s a first time for everything’, Willas smirked.

‘Yes, and how gracefully do you all take your first stumble?’ Olenna shot, raising her eyebrows at Willas.

‘Watch it Margaery, she might be coming to take something from you next’, Olenna smiled at her granddaughter.

‘Oh but granny, there’s nothing Sansa could take from me that I wouldn’t happily give’, Margaery smiled.

‘Ah, good you’re already present!’ Garlan grinned as he walked in with Loras, Renly and Leonette, smelling like outside air. They were on their socks. Sansa reasoned it was fair to believe they’d gone horse riding.

Renly wore a black sweater with bands of stags. Loras wore one with a drunken Santa. Leonette wore one with a big Christmas stocking on hers, in which a bottle of champagne sat.

Garlan though, Garlan wore a red sweater with a big fluffy reindeer head sewn to his belly, poking out of a circle of fake fir decorated with baubles.

‘Gran, glad to see you dressed up’, Garlan said, oozing contentment.

‘I’ll find Alerie and Mace’, Leonette said, slipping out of the room.

‘Went riding?’ Willas asked them as they all went to sit down.

‘Yeah, down to the orchards’, Renly explained.

‘You were careful though, with the snow?’

‘Do you take us for brutes?’ Loras asked.

Before Willas could answer, Loras jumped up, eyes flying to Sansa, Margaery and Loras.

‘We haven’t found the elf yet today, have we?’ he asked.

‘Not as far as I know’, Willas said.

‘Nope’, Sansa and Margaery replied.

Loras marched through the room, inspecting every shelf, the tree, the chairs, the windowsills, pulling everything open.

‘The kitchen’, he decided, striding towards the hallway right as Alerie, Mace and Leonette appeared from around the corner.

‘Loras, dear. Where are you going?’

‘The elf?’

‘The elf can wait’, Alerie decided.

With an eyeroll and audible sigh, Loras returns to the couch he shared with Renly.

‘Well Garlan, looks like you caught us all’, Loras quipped.

‘Alright alright. I’ll get the counting sheets.’

‘Oh so we can judge sweaters’, Margaery laughed.

‘Sweaters don’t have feelings, Margaery’, Alerie said as she sat down beside her husband.

‘But the people in them do’, Loras said.

Alerie rolled her eyes. ‘You’re adults. You know all too well how that’s different.’

Garlan returned with pencils and papers.

‘So I want you all to write down your pick for best Christmas sweater. I believe everyone’s gotten a good view of each other now?’ Garlan explained.

‘Some more than others’, Renly joked, throwing his arms around Loras and pulling him tight against his chest.

Margaery and Leonette giggled.

‘Actually’, Sansa muttered, her hand moving to the buttons inside her sweater.

‘Is she stripping?’ Renly asked.

‘Keep dreaming’, Margaery smirked.

‘Oh no’, Garlan cursed underneath his breath when the lights went on in Sansa’s Christmas tree.

‘You have a tree that gives light?’ he asked.

‘Actually’, Sansa said, her finger pressing on the second button.

A melody filled the room, eliciting a strong response. From Loras laughing to Garlan moaning and Leonette demanding to know where Sansa had bought it.

Everyone was bending forward and sideways to get a better look of the sweater now.

‘Ah, at least that’s useful. She’s our own music box if the electricity goes down’, Olenna exclaimed.

Garlan fell back onto the couch, writing down his top pick with an unhappy expression.

The counts came in, all announcing their favourite out loud as Garlan kept the tally.

Sansa chose Garlan. Garlan out of fairness chose Sansa. Olenna chose Leonette’s for the practicality and then it got tense. Renly, Alerie and Margaery chose Sansa’s singing sweater. However Loras out of a gin grudge, Leonette out of faithfulness and Mace out of family pride chose Garlan. It all came down to…

‘Sansa’, Willas declared. ‘I’m sorry Garlan, but your sweater just doesn’t sound like Christmas.’

Sansa was going to have a heart attack.

Garlan nodded, a smile growing on his face.

‘It’s only fair. It was already generous to vote for me with that kind of competition. You win this one. But don’t think this is the start of your victory streak, Stark’, Garlan said, offering her a hand to shake.

Sansa rose, the refrain of the song starting.

She shook his hand.

‘How can it be the start of my streak? she asked. ‘I have no reason to come back this year. Perhaps it’s for the better. My presence is very divisive.’

‘What Sansa no’, Margaery moped.

Garlan shook his head. ‘Don’t let us being bad losers give the impression you’re unwanted. As far as I’m concerned, you’re more than welcome. I can’t speak for the others but for me and Leo, but it’s true. ’

‘We would even invite you to our wedding just so we have an excuse to have you make the cake.’

‘Garlan!’ Leonette laughed.

‘Gotta ask her first’, Margaery giggled before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. ‘No but seriously, Sansa dear, I would ask you again in a heartbeat. If I knew you’d ever accept my invitation instead of going to Winterfell.’

‘You’re welcome dear’, Alerie nodded, holding Mace’s hand.

All eyes went to Loras.

‘What? Certainly you don’t think my jokes were serious? It were jokes. Japes. I don’t actually hate you. Not for something as stupid as elf on the shelf’, Loras said in a way that made Sansa feel guilty for even suggesting it.

‘My grinch has spoken, I do hope you know I like you’, Renly grinned.

Sansa smiled at them. But apparently Margaery and Garlan were not done with demanding all family members outed their approval of her presence.

‘Like I’m going to protest against the presence of more clever women’, Olenna huffed, taking a sip of her wine.

And finally… Willas.

‘This is our second time having you over for a holiday… Don’t remember the first time but based on this visit I think I’m not opposed to having you around for a third. If you want to come of course’, he smiled.

_It will all depend on you, Willas. I’ll only come around as your girlfriend. There’s no other excuse strong enough to keep me away from Winterfell._

She tried to keep her smile nice and polite, not too eager.

‘There you have it’, Garlan decided.

‘Let’s drink some hot cocoa to soothe the animosity’, Sansa offered.

‘Pour in some amaretto to soothe my bruised ego’, Garlan laughed, clapping her shoulder.

‘Can I be allowed to regain my dignity with a snowball fight after?’

‘Sure’, Sansa laughed. ‘If… That is… we are not yet needed in the kitchen to help?’ Sansa asked, turning towards Alerie.

‘Oh no, I’m just going to start on the soup. Actually, I would like for you all to be out of the way and give me a bit of space’, Alerie smiled.

‘Alright. Game on! Who else is in?’ Garlan asked.

Everyone was, except for Willas, who excused himself.

‘But you managed just fine the previous time’, Garlan protested.

‘Yes. But I don’t want to now’, Willas explained.

Sansa hoped it didn’t have anything to do with her.

They drank their cocoa to heat up before going outside for the snowball fight. It was intense and ridiculous and Sansa was sure she’d fallen so many times while running away and towards people her knees would be blue and bruised. But she didn’t even register the pain between the excitement and happiness.

They trudged in an hour and a half later, shoulders heavy, snow frozen to their hair, faces red and lungs breathless. They crumpled to the ground, too tired and legs too frozen to take off their boots while standing.

Alerie was already done with the soup and the fruit. The meat was marinating in the fridge.

Willas already sat at the kitchen table, chopping vegetables and putting them on a platter for vegetables and dips.

‘Ah, there you all are. Just in time’, Alerie smiled.

Sansa and Leonette were first to get up and wash their hands.

‘I’m in need of salmon and cream cheese rolls. Salsa. Guacamole. Deviled eggs and appetizer toasts’, Alerie ordered.

‘I’ll do the deviled eggs’, Leonette dibbed.

‘Please, nothing more difficult than the appetizer toasts’, begged Loras.

‘I’ll do the salmon rolls’, Garlan said.

‘No, you’ll eat half of them while making them’, Margaery protested.

‘Oh come on, everyone eats half of the appetizers while making them’, Garlan protested.

‘Make them together and watch each other?’ Margaery suggested. They shook hands.

‘Shit uhm. Salsa is tomatoes, right?’

‘You wouldn’t survive a day in Dorne’, Willas laughed.

‘Willas, can’t I take over? You can cook, I can’t. I’m much more suited for chopping vegetables’, Renly pleaded.

‘What the hell are you talking about? You always cook?’ Loras shot. Renly elbowed him. Sansa held her hand to her mouth to stop from giggling.

‘So far first come, first served’, Willas sighed. ‘Fine.’ He pushed the vegetables to his left side where Renly usually sat.

‘I’ll make the guacamole, I guess’, Sansa decided.

All sat down with their necessities at their usual spots at the table. For the first time the great table was crammed full.

‘So are you a guacamole expert? Loras and I are kind of suckers for a good one’, Renly asked.

‘I make it frequently enough, but I mean… I usually don’t put in a lot of effort’, Sansa replied, slicing her tomato in meticulously small pieces. Juice dripped out, covering her cutting board.

‘Watcha put in it usually?’ Loras asked, deciding to do something else than being sarcastic on Christmas Eve.

‘Avocado’s’, Sansa joked while walking over to the counter to get some paper towels.

‘And then some tomato’s, the right ones, you know? Garlic, onion, and some lime. If we have it at home I add some fresh herbs, otherwise I just dumb the basics from the herb rack’, Sansa shrugged.

‘Sansa says a little lime but it’s always a lot of lime. Sansa loves her limes and lemons. She starts getting fidgety when we cut the last one. She uses them for everything. Stressed? She bakes a lemon cake. Stain in the kitchen sink? An old lemon. Chilli? Limes. Fish? Lemons. Tequila? Lemons. We always have tequila and limes at home.’

‘Oh yes! Didn’t we take like a dozen tequila shots at that New Year’s Eve party some years ago Sansa? That was the first time I met you’, Leonette smiled.

‘We did.’

‘Yeah, good times’, Leonette smiled before frowning. ‘And then you had to hold my hair back as I puked it all out two hours later. Real class act’, Leonette laughed.

‘It would be wrong to take shots with you and then let you suffer through the consequences alone.’

‘You’re an angel. It did help in a way I suppose. Got all the junk out of me and shocked me into realizing I was drinking too much. Switched to only water and soda after. I was sober by the time I went to bed and woke up headache free.’

‘Same couldn’t be said of me’, Sansa laughed weakly.

‘Yes, I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen you reject a desert’, Margaery laughed.

‘Yeah that’s something I definitely don’t want to repeat this year’, Sansa laughed.

The others chuckled as well.

‘I wish we could all be bemoaning our life choices over New Year’s Lunch’, Garlan sighed. ‘That would indicate we actually did something exciting and fun the previous day.’

‘We can still have fun. It’s just doubtable that it’ll be exciting’, Margaery said.

‘If you really miss that experience we can put on rave music and lock ourselves up in a dark room with a lot of booze. No one allowed to exit before everything is up and it is at least six in the morning’, Loras joked.

‘Meh. I’ll use the one opportunity I’m given to fully enjoy a New Year’s Day lunch while feeling healthy’, Garlan laughed.

Sansa smiled as she dumped her tomato in the glass bowl beside her. Willas was cutting tomatoes across of her as well. For some reason she felt compelled not to look up. 

‘Oh well, on the bright side we’ll be able to witness the fireworks this year’, Leonette said cheerfully.

‘Hooray’, Renly cheered, happily chopping through some pieces of celery. ‘And we’ll be able to kiss our fi- fantastic partners without having to look for them first’, Renly quickly corrected. Sansa bit away a grin, her eyes flying up to check in on Willas, who shook his head, having noticed Renly’s slip of tongue as well.

‘Another bright side, definitely’, Leonette laughed, turning towards Sansa before continuing. ‘One time I just couldn’t find Garlan. And the countdown was being projected and I was just racing through the entire building screaming Garlan’s name, giving up two minutes before midnight. Because frankly I’d rather yell the countdown and toast with everyone than standing in an empty hallway looking for my boyfriend’, Leonette told.

‘So where were you?’ Sansa asked Garlan.

‘To the toilets. Unfortunately I had no concept of the time and was just doing my thing when I suddenly heard people yelling. Startled me so much I dropped my phone. Hurried up but alas, too late. But I found you not much later, did I now dear?’ Garlan asked his girlfriend with a roguish smile. Leonette laughed, pushing his shoulder and declaring him silly.

‘Didn’t I make up for it?’ he continued.

‘Shush Garlan, not at the table’, Leonette blushed.

This time it was Loras’ turn to roll his eyes. This family had such similar mannerisms it astounded Sansa. The Starks were entirely unlike each other but here from the rolling of their eyes, shaking their heads laughing, the scowling and even the words they used for endearment were all so similar.

‘Oh I do feel sorry for you guys though. Usually we’re with so many people but now you’ll have no one to kiss or have fun with on New Year’s, Leonette pouted, looking at Sansa, Willas and Margaery with nothing but honest pity and compassion.

Willas was halfway through his first word but Margaery cut him off.

‘Sure there is someone. First one to get to Sansa gets a kiss’, Margaery grinned, winking at Sansa.

Sansa stuttered a laugh. She knew Margaery wouldn’t mind kissing just about anyone just for fun, but she doubted Willas would race her to Sansa. She couldn’t let her hopes up.

‘So we’re just racing to assault her, no asking her whether she wants to be kissed at midnight?’ Willas asked, frowning at Margaery.

Sansa’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. As someone who had extensively considered the possibility of being kissed at midnight by either Margaery because she knew her friend was affectionate, or Willas because of her own wish fulfilment, she had to say assault was not a word she’d considered to label either scenario.

‘Sansa dear, would you mind an awful lot?’ Margaery asked, baring her teeth in a charming smile.

If she didn’t shut down the idea, she’d practically confirm that she wanted it. And if she said she wouldn’t mind, would Willas then believe she didn’t mind to be kissed by Margaery? Or by him? She couldn’t very well clarify it either, that would just be straight out admitting her crush for him. And Sansa was too shy for that.

‘I-I’, she stammered, looking down at her tomato. There had to be a polite way out of this. ‘I hardly think another competition is what this family needs today’, she stammered with an breathy laugh.

‘Wise words’, Renly nodded appreciatively.

Sansa could still feel Willas’ eyes on her. Her stomach twisted into knots. Why was he looking at her so much? She clenched her shaking hand around her knife, grabbing the next tomato with her free one.

Just breathe.

In.

And out.

In and –

A hand on her own paused her. Her cold hand trembled around the knife. A big hand softly curled around her own. Her eyes roved over the veins on top, the scar around the wrist, the ring with Tyrell crest around his fourth finger and the fine sparse hairs dusting his first phalanges.

She swallowed, dragging her gaze upward until she met his worried eyes.

‘If we’re making you uncomfortable. Just say so.’

Her chest trembled as his rumble washed over her.

‘It’s fine’, she said.

‘There’s better states to be than fine.’

She smiled shyly. His eyes were too earnest. She couldn’t deal with it. He still hadn’t removed his hand.

‘I’m capable of saying whether something is wanted now.’

She hadn’t been able to in the past. Had let Joffrey and Harry trample all over her hoping her quiet acceptance would keep them around, pacified and satisfied. She’d worked hard not to be like that anymore. She could say no to men in night clubs. She could say no to unwanted touches during dates. She could demand her friends to stop if they pushed her too far.

However, Willas did not interpret her statement as an affirmation that what was happening was wanted and alright, instead removing his hands, nodding lightly.

‘Alright.’

‘It was fine. Really’, she repeated, eyes tentatively seeking out his.

He looked… confused, but continued chopping his green pepper.

Adding to Sansa’s sadness was the fact that it was time for her to chop her onion. Coincidentally, because fate still hated Sansa Stark, Leonette started on her next topic.

‘And now we’ll all be together instead of sporadically seeing each other from across the room. My I believe last Christmas I barely spoke fifty words with you’, Leonette told Loras.

‘Better yet, I believe _we_ barely exchanged fifty words’, Renly laughed, fondly rubbing Loras’ curls until he was scowling.

‘It’ll be lovely to really together and bonding’, I admit Garlan nodded. He stole a piece of salmon from Margaery’s plate, pausing when he noticed Sansa.

‘Oh god, we’re being awfully unsensitive. You must miss your family incredibly Sansa.’

‘It’s fine’, Sansa admitted. ‘I completely understand the feeling. I’d be happy to be able to bond too. So please don’t think you’re not allowed to say how happy you are to be together. I must admit the Stark holidays aren’t as crowded though. I do speak lots with all my siblings.’

‘Sure but there’s boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, distant young cousins screeching, makes people unable to talk’, Renly asked.

There was a good chunk of time in between the Baratheon siblings, and both the Tyrells and Baratheons had a big extended.

‘Actually, Aunt Lysa’s en Petyr’s child was born only a couple of years ago and uncle Edmure’s a lot younger than my mom so he’s only recently got himself a girlfriend. My father’s brother and sister died young, uncle Benjen has been away with the peace corps in the lands of Always Winter for years now. Uncle Brynden is happily single so no… Never very crowded’, Sansa said. ‘Actually, this would have been the first year all adults brought a partner. Robb was bringing Jeyne, Arya was bringing Gendry, Edmure was taking Roslin. Perhaps it was a mercy I couldn’t get there, would have been quite confronting. Not that I’m not happy for the others but you know, the pity looks and questions’, Sansa shrugged.

‘At least here you’re not alone in your singleness. And no prying questions of family about the why’s and how’s either’, Margaery grinned, bumping her shoulder against Sansa’s.

‘Where was that attitude when you were all annoying me about my relationship status?’ Willas asked.

‘Yeah but Sansa is a poor girl who deserves a break after her relationship horrors. You’re a sad fuck who works all the time and you need to get laid before the goods shrivel away’, Garlan shot.

‘Auch’, Sansa muttered. She didn’t need the reminder of her sad love life. ‘True but auch.’

‘Sorry’, Garlan swallowed.

‘We will all get there some day. No worries’, Margaery smiled. ‘Some sooner than others’, she continued as she gave Sansa a meaningful look. Yeah, she wished it would be soon too.

‘And if some have to kiss some frogs first, so be it. At least you’ll be experienced and able to fully appreciate your prince charming’, Margaery grinned.

‘That’s a nice way of putting things, everyone’s fairy tale begins at another point in time’, Leonette smiled.

‘Don’t many people end up dead in songs and legends? Like all classic heroes? Even women! That mermaid from Hagen Cregan Othersson? So like, perhaps you’re not living a cute fantasy story but one of those.’

‘Very comforting Renly, nothing makes me more happy then knowing that perhaps I am not destined for a great love but a great tragedy’, Willas answered dryly.

‘Yeah, I might have forgotten why that point was made in the first place’, Renly admitted as the table sniggered.

Sansa subtly wiped the tears away that were falling as she cut half of an onion and her garlic. Willas pushed forward a paper towel. She blinked, noticing the moving white through her tear blurred eyes. She dabbed away at her eyes, throwing the onion and garlic into the pot and quickly rising to wash her hands and cutting board. Only the avocados were left now. She offered Willas a smile in thanks as she sat down.

The appetizers were finished and everyone returned to their rooms. As Sansa walked passed the other rooms she could already hear two showers going. Yes, she imagined a nice soak might alleviate some of the tension that had crawled into her back during the day. Perhaps pop in a nice bath bomb, the blue one with the stars on it would do nicely. The one with the same pattern as her dress. It was almost symbolic, and Sansa was a sucker for those little kinds of coincidences.

She rummaged through her room, collecting her beauty products and towels before moving into the bathroom.

‘Whoa!’

Sansa jumped back, bumping against the door which clicked closed behind her. Willas grabbed his throat with a hand, dropping the razor in the sink.

‘You didn’t lock it? It wasn’t locked!’ Sansa stammered as she watched Willas breathe in heavily, recovering from being scared to death by her entrance.

Again caught shirtless. Really How even?

‘Oh Mother above, you’re bleeding’, Sansa cried out.

‘Yeah I felt that’, Willas muttered, lifting his hand away from his throat, fingers dripping with bright red blood.

Sansa pulled open the cabinet where she knew the first aid kit to be, plucking out the disinfectant and a band aid.

‘I’m so sorry. I just didn’t think… I thought it would be locked’, Sansa stammered.

‘I forgot, I’m not used to someone being on the other side as well’, he admitted as he dabbed his neck with a towel.

Sansa swallowed away her nerves and took a step towards him. God he was gorgeous. They were even closer now than they’d been yesterday morning.

‘Let me see.’

He removed the towel and she laid her hand on his chest to stabilize herself. Taking the bottle of disinfectant she trickled a little bit down the cut. Orange brown liquid meandered down his neck, streaming down towards the dip between his clavicles.

She followed it with her eyes, fingertips instinctively moving there to catch it.

 _Way too intimate_. The scent of him was all around her even underneath the sharp smell of the disinfectant. His skin burned her fingers.

‘I thought men usually got ready last minute since they believe it doesn’t take them long’, she said, cutting through the tense silence. She kept her eyes fixed on her hands as they unwrapped the band aid and smoothed it down on his neck.

‘I thought you would take long. So I reasoned it would be good if I immediately got ready so you could use the bathroom as long as you needed, without having to rush so I can get ready.’

‘Oh.’ That was incredibly thoughtful. Her gaze flickered up. A thought bubbling up in her head and firing before her mind had time to process it.

‘But you have a beard, why were you shaving anyways? You’re not going to shave it off are you?’ she asked.

Willas laughed, drawing himself up a little straighter.

‘It’s called grooming, you don’t think a beard naturally grows into straight lines?’ he asked, tracing the relatively straight lines where his beard ended underneath his cheekbones and the sides of his neck. ‘Why you want to know? Better with one?’ he asked.

Her fingers trembled against her thighs. She shouldn’t have said that. She could tell the truth. She could objectively call something beautiful without it having to mean something. Even so, Willas had a longer list of blatant hints than her. She could test how he responded to a hint from her to become certain of his intentions.

‘Not that I thought you looked bad without one, but it does give a kind of rugged and mature vibe.’

‘I’ll keep it then. Pretty sure shaving it is a bad idea anyways. That skin hasn’t seen the sun in years it’ll look ghostly white.’

‘Yeah, a face in two shades, would look awful in the pictures.’

‘Must be mindful of that’, Willas nodded sagely.

Her body had almost become accustomed of being near his disrobed one, her heartbeat was under control and her breathing was regular. Only her hands still seemed to shake, but whether that was nerves or the desire to touch him she didn’t know.

The buzzing of Sansa’s phone disturbed them from their staring.

‘Right. I should let you finish. So you and I can both get ready in time for the pictures.’

She took a step back, putting the first aid kit away. Willas had his arms crossed in front of him, the rose and black words really jumping out. It was queer how the hair on top of his chest was darker than the fine hairs that trailed downwards underneath his arms.

Ombre chest hair. Oh no, she couldn’t laugh about that. She could never explain her fit of giggles and be able to look Willas in the eye afterwards. She took her bath products, careful to avoid his eyes so he wouldn’t need the laughter in hers.

Grabbing the handle she stepped forward –

And smashed right into the door.

She looked over her shoulder, showing her red cheeks to admit that yes, she was that distracted, before pulling on the door and rushing out.

She would die of mortification.

Twenty minutes later and sorrowfully alive, Sansa tossed the blue ball in the water, sinking into the scalding heat.

‘Sansa Stark. Seven. Saying his beard was hot’, she sighed as she soaked her hair between floating stars of glitter.

‘Willas Tyrell… promised to keep his beard because I liked it.’

After her mud mask had crackled on her face, her hair had become silky smooth with balm and her skin had fully soaked up the lemon scented oils in the bath, Sansa rinsed her hair and fully prepared for the evening. Halfway through shaving her leg she mused whether she should still go for the bare legs now that her knees were indeed as blue as her dress in some spots.

Music floated in from the other room. Old rock. The man had taste.

 _Prepare for every situation,_ Stark. Her brain decided.

Sansa wasn’t a minute out of the bathroom when Margaery demanded she get to her room to prepare together with her and Leonette.

Everything was dragged across the hall including the three eyeshadow palettes Sansa had brought, her curling wand and her full jewellery collection as well. Even all her dresses were brought over. Every girl ended up with a dress meticulously chosen and jewellery and shoes carefully added after thorough consideration.

In the end Margaery got her single sleeve emerald sequin dress, Leonette got her flower patterned dress and Sansa got her midnight blue velvet dress with golden stars. Sansa was advised to combine this with golden jewellery, golden-brown eyeshadow and black liner. It was a good thing Margaery had already dragged some wine bottles and crisps upstairs to keep them nourished during their aesthetical labour. 

‘So Sansa, is it going to be tonight, tomorrow or on New Year’s Eve?’ Leonette innocently asked. Sansa withdrew her eyeliner from Leonette’s face.

‘That’s cheating’, Margaery pointed out from behind Sansa’s back where she was curling Sansa’s hair.

‘What’s cheating?’ Sansa asked. ‘You’re betting on me?’

‘Not on you dear, not really’, Margaery ensured her.

‘No, we know you won’t take initiative, we’re betting on Willas’, Margaery said.

Sansa’s heart dropped.

‘You’re _what_! You told her?’ Sansa asked Margaery.

Margaery turned Sansa around again, putting her down on her chair and taking another lock to curl.

‘I didn’t. I wouldn’t. Leonette came up to me two days ago. Asked whether I’d noticed something going on between the two of you because Leonette thought there was something weird at breakfast that morning. And the dancing that evening convinced her.’

‘Did anybody else ask?’ Sansa asked, suddenly worried that if Leonette could notice it, so could others.

‘No the men are stupid and our parents have given up on trying to understand the relations of their children’, Margaery calmed her.

The conversation stopped. The question repeated itself in her head.

‘I don’t know. Maybe it’ll never happen’, Sansa said.

Her skin was already buzzing as she thought of what had happened in the bathroom. Like a loose rope she’d been wound up tighter and tighter and every time she interacted with him she could feel herself buzzing with increased tension. It had to snap at one point. But every time she thought they’d snap through the tension, the rope wound up tighter.

‘He practically already admitted to being in love with you’, Leonette claimed.

‘What?’

‘Finish my eyeliner, I don’t want your hands to shake because of the story.’

‘My hands will shake when I don’t hear it!’ Sansa cried out.

Margaery tsked and gave up on trying to finish Sansa’s hair.

‘Sansa, Willas has only gone on one date with a woman and that is now already three years ago. You’re the closest he’s been to a woman in years. And he lets you close.’

‘Can’t keep me far away if we’re dancing’, Sansa protested.

‘You think Willas would have done that with us?’ Leonette asked.

Sansa swallowed her next excuse. ‘Alright but he still hasn’t done anything. I can’t force him.’

‘No but you can encourage him at least, he’s a little rusty, dear’, Leonette smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people who read bastards&broken things: Willas and Sansa are both the kind of type A people who'd make lists like that and now it's Sansa's turn :p
> 
> Hagen Cregan Othersson is of course a funny asoiaf style name for Hands Christian Andersen. I made him Othersson because will, in my country the others are called “anderen” so I found it funny. 
> 
> The bathbomb of Sansa is based on the Lush Shoot For The Stars bath bomb.  
> But basically this entire story has been full of real life references, including real life covid measures so I won’t point them out. It’s just there for the people who catch them.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Next up: Christmas Eve & a proposal


	10. Chapter 10

Willas Tyrell was trying to kill Sansa Stark. It saddened Sansa, but she could draw no other conclusion when she spotted him. There was no other word to describe the way he looked in that velvet suit than heart-stopping, although mouth-watering was a worthy contender. It had been five years since she’d seen him dressed up like that, his hair tamed, a bow around his neck, a shimmering golden watch around his wrist and glossy black boots at his feet that made her want to drop on her knees in front of him. He had to know what effect his looks would have, yet he stood there as casually as he’d done years before. Not even having the decency to look her in the eye as he stole her heart.

She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t strong enough for it. Taking a step back she bumped into Margaery who was still right behind her.

‘What is it, forgot something?’ Margaery asked when Sansa turned around.

‘I can’t.’

‘Sure you can’, Margaery whispered. ‘It’s just us. What’s wrong?’

‘Nerves’, Sansa admitted with a laugh.

‘You’ll be fine. Just fake it until you make it. And then it’ll be easy breezy, lemon squeezy’, Margaery assured her.

‘The women have decide to come down, I see’, Garlan grinned, jumping up to hug his girlfriend. He wasn’t even wearing a jacket, just a regular shirt and tie.

Sansa and Margaery went for the platter of filled champagne glasses.

‘Is that golden liner? Turn your head. The other way now. _Wicked_ ’, Garlan said, nodding appreciatively at his girl.

‘Hihi, thanks. Sansa’s work.’

Sansa almost coughed in her glass of champagne, sheepishly lifting a hand.

Garlan looked at his girlfriend with utter adoration.

‘Man, Renly we gotta talk.’

‘No we don’t’, Renly said sharply, pulling his arm tighter around Loras.

‘What is it?’ Leonette asked.

‘If you look like that I need to go out to cool down. Thought Renly might fancy a smoke?’ Garlan quickly said.

Being able to lie and come up with excuses easily clearly wasn’t a family trait.

‘Flatterer’, Leonette laughed.

‘Oh, while you were still upstairs, I caught the elf’, Loras proudly declared, patting the elf poking out of the pocket of his double-breasted plaid blazer. He’d really dug out a fancy suit. The blazer had golden rose buttons and he even wore a cravat instead of a tie, the absolute dandy.

‘Cool’, Sansa nodded.

‘Hope you won’t blame me for not cracking it open like you did the past few days. We’d like to reach the end of dinner with our brains intact and the loo untainted.’

‘No being trashed before midnight, got it’, Garlan grinned.

Garlan and Renly did disappear for a while once Olenna, Alerie and Mace came in. Christmas music was put up and the appetizers were presented.

A silly trivia game was played. And then it was time for soup. The table settings hadn’t been arranged by matchmaker Margaery, so Sansa was neatly placed between Margaery and Garlan and across of Leonette and Willas.

Margaery told a story about when she’d dated a girl from Essos during her studies abroad in her third year. Garlan told a story of a running competition in school where someone had managed to break his clavicle. Sansa recounted a time when Arya had bit Jeyne in kindergarten when Jeyne told her she couldn’t go down the slide first. The mood was nice and airy and Sansa’s stress slowly abated.

It was all just so peaceful, the flickering candles highlighting the glitter on the red and golden runner in the middle of the table, couples occasionally leaning in against each other, the heat in Sansa’s belly from the soup, the peaceful clattering of silver against porcelain as they ate the entrée with smoked salmon, the soft piano music in the back.

It was just the perfect little Christmas party she needed after a year that sounded like a never ending scream in her head.

Alerie moved around the dining room table, photographing Sansa and Margaery smiling, Loras and Renly kissing and Leonette and Willas clinking their glasses together. In the intermezzo between the third course and the main meal Olenna posed with her obviously favoured grandchildren, Mace grabbed his favourite boys and all Tyrell children were pushed in front of the tree together. When Alerie went to check up on the boar in the oven, Loras seized the camera, demanding artistic poses, and taking pictures from between the branches of the Christmas tree and other unconventional angles.

‘Dinner will be ready in five’, Alerie announced as she came back into the room, looking around the room and watching Leonette and Garlan pose underneath the mistletoe for Loras. ‘Perhaps a picture of everyone together would be nice, all the youngsters? And then the whole family perhaps?’

Sansa smiled as Margaery dragged everyone towards the tree while Loras naturally directed everyone into positions. They had to stand at the right angle, so the fireplace was visible behind them but the full dinner table wasn’t visible through the reflection of the window. Garlan had to hold Leonette, Renly had to stand in the back holding a mistletoe as if he wanted to seduce Loras. Margaery had to sit down in the middle on her knees, which she did expertly, adapting a thinking stance with her wine glass without wobbling on her high platform pumps.

Sansa could barely breathe from laughing at the artificiality.

‘Sansa, come on now’, Loras demanded impatiently.

‘Oh but certainly I don’t?’ Sansa asked, protectively clutching her glass to her chest as she took a step backwards.

‘He’s right dear, I said all youngsters’, Alerie pointed out, nudging Sansa forward with her free hand.

‘But I- I’m no family.’

‘Dear, you’re Margaery’s best friend. Those stick around far longer than her partners do. Come now.’

And so Sansa was pulled into the picture, but being as tall as she was, she couldn’t easily fit in the front with the girls. A solution was quickly found by Loras, who dropped the elf in her hand with a grin and told her to pose with it. She was placed between Renly in his black and gold snakeskin suit, and Willas.

She presented the elf sitting atop of her wine glass, smiling politely at the camera. Alerie lifted the camera, but dropped it again.

‘It looks a bit stiff’, Alerie admitted.

Leonette quickly dropped down, moving to sit back to back with Margaery. They both adopted a spy pose. Garlan nicked a bottle of wine from the table, pretending to study it.

‘Willas dear, do something with those hands’, Alerie suggested.

Sansa’s muscles tensed as Willas moved beside her, putting one hand in his pocket and another around her back.

She already knew she was going to frame that picture, even if her head looked as red as the balls in the tree.

‘That’s better’, Alerie decided, snapping a couple of pictures.

‘It’ll be ready now. Will someone help me carry –‘

‘Yes!’ Sansa immediately offered, jumping away before Willas scorched the waist of her dress.

After the main course everyone helped load the dishwasher and came back to Margaery announcing she’d put a piece of paper on everyone’s desert platter with the names of the historical characters and politicians that the other people at the table were. Loras quickly made up a name for Margaery, writing it down on everyone’s papers as well. Now they could all begin guessing who they were

Sansa was the quickest, discovering she was Queen Alysanne in no more than seven questions.

‘Am I a woman?’

‘Yes.’

‘Am I royalty?’

‘Yes.’

‘Am I dead?’

‘Yes.’

‘Am I a Targaryen?’

‘Yes.’

‘Am I considered to be good, you know, kind?’

‘Yes.’

‘Is my husband considered good?’

‘Oh my God’, muttered Margaery, realizing Sansa was moving straight at her goal.

‘Yes.’

‘Was my husband my brother?’

‘Yes.’

‘Alysanne, right?’ Sansa asked, only to be met with laughter and shaken heads.

Willas followed second, being king Jaehaerys. Another one of Margaery’s completely innocent and subtle hints, Sansa deduced. Mace was Durran Durrandon. Alerie was Maris the Maid. Loras was Ser Duncan the Tall, Margaery was King Maegor, which took her a shamefully long time to discover and Renly was, of course, the only Baratheon king who’d reigned for longer than a year.

It was half an hour to midnight, and everyone was complaining about how full they were. Margaery and Sansa had taken to lying on the floor near the windows to cool down, which didn’t help a lot given the floor was heated but it was the thought that mattered. They lazily rolled a ball between them, but once Maris caught it and didn’t immediately respond to their calls to give it back, they stopped trying. Everyone had become sluggish, most vacantly staring at the first part of the movie series about Aegon.

‘At this rate we’ll be asleep before the gifts, let alone the ice’, Margaery sighed, laying her hand on her mouth as she covered a yawn.

‘Perhaps I should pour some snow in your dress, I think that will get you awake’, Sansa suggested, her eyes focused on the head of curls poking out from above the backrest of the sofa.

She’d been stressed for nothing. Exactly nothing had happened. She’d almost become so desperate she would willingly meet his gaze just to feel nervous and awake again.

‘That would wake us all up, I think. Another snowball fight then?’ Margaery asked, lifting her eyebrow. Sansa shrugged.

‘Guys, are we going outside to wake up?’ Margaery offered.

‘No.’

‘Ugh, you mean I gotta get up? Again?’

‘I’m digesting.’

‘These clothes are designer.’

Margaery lifted her eyebrow at Sansa, who let out a silent sigh.

She allowed her eyes to lose focus. The Christmas tree became a blur of blue, green, orange and red lights, twinkling as they faded and changed colour. It was hypnotizing. Overly satiated with food, her brain had become too tired to even panic about how her gifts would be perceived in less than an hour.

‘You know what I could use?’ Margaery asked.

‘What?’

‘Some caffeine. That'll wake me up nicely.’

Sansa nodded.

‘We need to make some to have with the ice cream cake anyways’, Margaery pointed out dryly.

‘Mhm.’

‘Oh, Sansa!’ Margaery gasped. Sansa turned towards her friend, meeting her big eyes.

‘You should make that Northern coffee. It’s to die for, and fancy. And tonight calls for fancy coffee, don’t you think?’ Margaery asked.

‘I don’t know. It is quite a lot of work. I’d have to start right now.’

‘Oh please. As a gift for me?’

‘Do you even have heavy cream?’

‘Good question’, Margaery said.

‘Mom! Do we have heavy cream?’

‘Yes, tons. I know you kids always use it for hot chocolate.’

Margaery turned her head back to Sansa. Eyes dancing with glee.

‘Fine’, Sansa acquiesced.

‘I’ll show you the liquor cabinet’, Margaery said before arduously rolling herself onto her knees and walking over to a dark mahogany cabinet, like all things in this house it was decorated with rose vines. She pushed a bottle of whiskey into Sansa’s hands.

Sansa picked up the leftover dishes from desert.

‘Hey, who wants Northern coffee instead of regular one to go with the ice?’ Margaery shot as she collected all used glasses still remaining that wouldn’t be drunk from anymore. She carefully deliberated which ones were full enough that the drinkers would still want to continue drinking, and which were empty or empty enough that signalled people were done with them.

‘What’s in it?’ Mace asked.

‘Whiskey, coffee, cream, sugar’, Margaery summed up, checking in with Sansa to see if she was right. Sansa nodded, waiting near the door for Margaery, who looked at the gifts underneath the Christmas tree and then the clock in surprise.

‘Crap, I haven’t packaged the gifts yet!’ she cried.

‘Not again Marge!’ groaned Garlan from the couch.

‘Sansa dear, I’m sorry. I’ll have to rush to pack everything in time before midnight.’

‘It’s fine’, Sansa smiled before wishing her friend luck as they parted at the staircase.

She dropped the plates in the sink.

It was twenty minutes to midnight. She could do that.

Although she would need at least some time to clean a surface big enough to make the coffees. In all those years she’d come around, this was the first time a room could be called messy. The kitchen had simply exploded. Platters with five or less appetizers on them cluttered the table, the sink was filled with fancy gold decorated champagne glasses that couldn’t be put in the dishwasher, the soup casserole stood right beside the stove, a big serving plate with cool meat and pots full of vegetables stood on the other side of the counter, covered with plastic film

‘Fuck.’

She checked the fridge, moving things around the shelves to make space for the various dishes. During her rummaging, she found the cream she needed and put it aside for the coffee. She put all dishes away in the fridge until the counter was empty. She wiped it with a rag and put out the glasses and the spoons. The only things she knew how to find.

Her eyes were still tired. Not good. She needed to be awake when she lit the liquor. Sansa reasoned some fresh air would do her good and pulled open the garden door, letting the freezing night air in. She could already feel herself growing more alert.

‘Chilling?’ a voice teased.

‘Yeah’, Sansa answered miserably.

‘Kitchen’s always a disaster at Christmas’, Willas explained. She could hear him shuffling behind her, moving things.

‘I don’t know what to do with the table’, Sansa admitted once she was done.

‘You don’t need to do anything with it’, Willas replied, strolling over to the coffee machine.

‘You know how this one works?’ he asked. It looked dangerous and complicated, and she’d never been a coffee person.

‘No’, she admitted.

‘Thought so’, he nodded, taking the electric bean grinder and starting up the coffee machine.

‘Thank you’, Sansa said.

She wondered how it was always him coming to her aid, him realizing she didn’t know her way around the kitchen well enough to make the coffees.

Willas turned around once the coffee machine started whirring, clicking and bubbling. Not minding her, he let the tap run to wash the glasses. She watched him quietly.

She wondered if he had genuinely planned on bringing over the glasses Margaery hadn’t taken to the kitchen, or whether he’d decided that the glasses were a valid excuse to check out if Sansa needed help. In any case, she needed it.

‘Uhm, do you happen to know where the brown sugar is?’ Sansa asked.

‘Yeah, cupboard right next to your head’, he pointed out before starting to wash the glasses.

‘Oh, thanks.’

She got out the sugar and fetched the glasses.

‘How long would the coffee take?’

‘About five minutes’, Willas guessed.

Five minutes with nothing to do. She decided to fill up her time by beating the cream until it was almost solid. Next she poured some sugar into all ten glasses and put the whiskey on the stove.

Shoot, she’d need another thing.

She bit her lip, shooting a glance his way. He was already drying the glasses. She didn’t have much time left to ask.

‘Willas?’ she asked.

‘Yes?’

He put down the glass he was working on. ‘Oh the coffee’s done’, he noticed.

‘I uhm… I also need a match. Or a lighter’, she stammered as he came over with the coffee.

She was practically vibrating with the desire to kiss him, like a phone begging to be picked up.

He held out the coffee can to her. She raised her hands, touching his fingers that were clamped around the handle. He gave her a heart-melting casual smile before he let go, pulling a box of matches from the cutlery drawer.

‘So what’s the plan?’ he asked as he watched the row of ten elegant coffee glasses with spoons.

‘Light up the whiskey, pour it, coffee on top, cream’, Sansa replied, stirring the liquor on the stove.

‘Light it?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, whoem’, Sansa said, poorly mimicking the sound of the liquor catching fire.

‘Don’t you need gloves for that?’ he asked.

‘No, just a steady hand and a pan with a long handle’, she replied with a shrug.

‘Can I help?’

‘You can help stir the coffees once the liquor and coffee are in, to melt the sugar. But once I come around with the cream you need to take out the spoon and remove your hand.’

‘I can do that, I think’, he smirked.

‘Perfect’, she decided, pushing her hair behind her ears. She accepted the matches he held out to her, trying to avoid his fingers but failing. She pretended like it wasn’t almost enough to make her heart stop beating.

She took a deep breath.

‘Here we go.’

She struck her match, a warm yellow flame flickering into existence which she then waved across the pan. The liquor lit up. Blue flames sprouting upwards, eagerly consuming the abundance of available air.

Good.

She picked up the pan, moving it over to the ten glasses. She poured, trying to eyeball that all glasses got about an equal share, and going back in, mindful of the flames, to pour in some more in the glasses that had gotten less liquor first time around.

Blue flames licked up against the glasses as Sansa put away the now empty and extinguished pan and instead took the coffee can.

‘Careful’, Willas warned.

‘I know what I’m doing’, Sansa smiled as she started pouring coffee on top of the flaming liquor, relishing in the hisses as the flames met hot caffeine. The flames turned golden.

‘So did I’, she heard Willas softly say.

‘You can start stirring’, she instructed as she moved onto the next glass. And the next. Willas always followed closely behind, stirring the coffees into both directions a couple times. By the time she was finished pouring the last, the flames in the first glass had extinguished.

She let out a sigh of relief, glad the fire part was over, and proud that she’d finished it without accident. Her father would be so proud of her.

She put down the can, turning back to almost bump into Willas’ chest with her nose. Right. She hadn’t as much as taken a step back after the tenth coffee, and Willas had been following right behind her.

The fabric of his jacket looked too soft. Sansa forced herself to lift her eyes. Willas was looking at her. 

_Fuck_.

Her heart hammered in her chest. She needed space. Had an acute need for it. If she didn’t get it she would… she would do things she’d regret. But his gaze pinned her to the floor.

‘Your tie is crooked’, Sansa managed to stammer.

‘What?’

‘Your uhm, your bowtie, it’s a bit lopsided’, she managed to say with more eloquence. She was pretty proud of how composed she sounded. Given that she was, actually, about to have a heart attack.

‘Oh, better now?’ he asked after tugging on one corner.

She couldn’t help but smile.

‘No, actually. Wait… Let me’, she muttered, raising herself to the tips of her toes. Her heels slid out of her pumps as she took hold of the bowtie.

It was a smooth black satin.

She tugged at it on both sides, twisting it until it looked straight.

But as soon as she let loose, it tipped to the other side again.

‘Damn. Stubborn’, she laughed.

She hated how breathless she sounded. She was sure he could see straight through her now. Well, Leonette had wanted her to give him a hint. She was sure her complete malfunctioning around him was a clear enough sign.

She lowered, sinking bank into her shoes.

‘It doesn’t work’, she admitted. For some reason she couldn’t explain, she was afraid to look him in the eyes.

‘Then take it off’, Willas softly suggested. His voice made her stomach knot.

She reached out again. Heavens, it had been so long since she’d done and undone someone’s tie. She pulled on the fabric, dragging it away from his neck.

Two hands reached up in front of her eyes. Strong large hands. They came up to his neck, undoing two of the buttons there.

Her eyes consumed the new inches of uncovered skin.

‘Much better anyways, suffocating that thing is. Now I know why I don’t wear those anymore’, he said.

Her mouth ran dry. A sober thought drifted into her frazzled mind, carried by the cold outside air.

He used to be a celebrity who went to galas all the time. Why did he ask her to undo his bowtie? He probably had a lot more experience with it.

Her hands fell silent, she’d twisted the tie around her fingers a couple of times as she’d been staring at him.

It had been deliberate.

She looked up, finding his gaze already on her.

These past few days she’d gotten the feeling she was flirting with the edge. Time and time again she’d been hit with an intense wave of vertigo. She feared the abyss, feared the unknown, feared the fall and feared the invisible yet inevitable bottom. Five years of yearning had given him the power to destroy one of the few hopes she still had, the hope of a happy ending with an actually mature man she felt attracted to. But gods, the edge had the red carpet rolled out for her. She had never been so tempted before.

‘Sansa? Are you almost ready? Need help?’ Margaery asked from the hallway.

Sansa froze in terror, shocked to find her body already angled forwards. She tore herself away, if Margaery hadn’t stopped her in time she would have committed the ultimate embarrassing act of kissing someone unwantedly.

‘Almost!’ Sansa responded, pouring a small inch of cream on top of every coffee.

She took four coffees and carried them into the living room. Everyone was already seated at the table.

Alerie walked back with her, taking out the ice cake and a big knife before heading back to the living room. Sansa’s heart was pounding.

No amount of cold air could cool her down now.

Two coffees stared at her from the counter. They had each carried four coffees. She could carry the last two, he was probably sitting down at the table already. There was no reason for him to return.

The thud of the door closing made her jump.

Willas.

Her eyes flew to the closed door. 

_She hadn’t imagined his intentions, had she?_

‘Right, the coffees’, Sansa nodded, moving over to the counter.

She sensed him moving through the room. She lifted her hands but they shook too much to hold the coffee. Instead she just curled them around the counter.

Every time she’d kissed someone new, she’d felt it coming. It was as if something in the air shifted. Her body became foreign, hot and cold at once, her nerves on high alert. It felt too small for the intensity and size of her emotions.

‘Sansa, stop me if I’m wrong’, he breathed. He was right behind her now.

Her brain processed his words slowly. He was going to kiss her unless she stopped him. All her points did add up. He _did_ like her! Emboldened, she turned around. For some miraculous reason, he was still in doubt about her desire.

She couldn’t say anything as he reached out to touch her hair, letting the strands of auburn slip between his fingers.

‘Tell me I’m not wrong’, he begged.

‘Far from wrong’, she stuttered.

His gaze fell onto her lips.

Sansa swallowed.

This time she actually stood a chance of being with him. If she dared to be honest.

‘I really like you’, she admitted.

‘Thank the gods’, he sighed, pressing his lips to hers.

He ignited her lips, defrosting her body and bringing it to life. She wrapped her arms around him.

A wave of calm washed over her as she surrendered to the kiss. All the pent up stress and tension slipped out of her. All their past interactions had felt tense and awkward, but now it finally felt right. This was natural, the distance had always felt forced.

He was an excellent kisser. She hummed into the kiss, and found herself pressed to the counter, one of his hands wrapped in her hair and the other steadying them against the cupboard.

She bent backwards, relishing in the feel of his body against hers. Her hands roved over his back, luxuriating in the feel of the suit and his body underneath the way she’d wanted to do the whole evening.

His hand came up to cup her cheek as he deepened the kiss, withdrawing ever so slightly before he bit down.

‘Oh.’

It was a good thing he hadn’t kissed her like that all those years ago or she would have never been able to get over him.

She reached up, hooking her fingers in his hair and pulling him closer. She was amazed by the thickness and smoothness of it.

Willas slipped his hands underneath her buttocks, lifting her on top of the counter. He used her gasp as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. 

She didn’t even have room for shyness. Her legs wrapped around his waist by instinct. He tore his lips away from hers, exploring the soft skin of her cheek. His whiskers tickled her nose, his beard hair scratching her cheek.

‘Your beard’, she couldn’t help but laugh. She couldn’t even care that she was breathless. ‘Tickles.’ Let him know what he does to me, there’s no shame in it now.

She heard him laugh against her skin, his lips closing around her neck.

He recoiled, wiping at his lips with his hand.

‘Perfume’, he complained with a laugh. ‘Smells a lot better than it tastes.’

Sansa laughed, pulling him against her. Willas laughed into the kiss and Sansa couldn't help but infuse the kiss with her own happiness in return.

She let out a sigh of contentment, her entire body buzzing with endorphins.

‘I do love that suit’, she admitted, her fingers stroking his back.

‘Well, I rather like it myself’, he admitted.

She let out a laugh again. She didn’t even know how to stop smiling. It came so naturally now.

‘Good’, Sansa nodded. ‘That’s very important.’

Willas chuckled, shaking his head.

‘I can’t even come up with a reply, gods I’m rusty. Suppose it sounds unnatural to now compliment your looks?’ he asked, raking a hand through his curls.

‘You can still do it’, she told him.

‘Well then’, he nodded, forcing his face in a neutral expression as he allowed his hands to slide down her arms. ‘You look absolutely ravishing. I’m glad I could finally put my hands on you.’

‘You’re just saying that because my dress has stars on it, don’t you?’ she laughed.

‘Oh absolutely’, he nodded, face serious before they dissolved into laughter.

‘Sansa? Willas!’ a voice cried from the living room.

‘Oh no’, Sansa muttered, looking at the clock on the wall.

It was five past midnight. They had been gone for over seven minutes, and the next day had begun.

‘We should really head back’, she muttered.

She slid off the counter, taking the two glasses in her hands.

‘What if they ask us what took us so long?’

‘We’ll go for the regular excuses. You needed a breather, you do that regularly, and I went to the toilet.’

‘Sounds… reasonable’, Sansa nodded.

So they were keeping this secret? She hoped not. But it was reasonable that they kept it from the others. It was only a second first kiss after all.

Willas held open the door for her as they headed out.

‘There you are dears’, Alerie smiled.

Willas quickly gave his excuse and Sansa hers.

‘Just sit down and eat, so we can get to the presents’, Loras said.

Margaery gave her a curious look but Sansa just sat down and ate her half melted piece of ice cake.

Everyone inhaled their cake in record time, and soon Loras and Margaery ran over to the tree, excited to get things going. Obnoxious Christmas pop music was put on to underline the gaiety of the moment. Olenna Tyrell conjured a couple of red Santa hats with bells, forcing everyone to put them on except for herself.

Loras made his rounds first, his gifts basic but warmly received. Sansa got a simple wine bottle, which suited her fine since that was what she’d bought for him too. The equivalent of: I don’t know your personality well enough to give something personal.

Olenna came around next. She had obviously gone for a theme, as everyone got a box of fancy chocolates specialized to their tastes.

Alerie and Mace had the most personalized gifts yet, surprising Sansa when they gifted her a prettily packaged box filled with bath products. A tip they had undoubtedly gotten from Margaery. Leonette skipped around next, handing everyone one hilarious prop to wear on New Year’s Eve ranging from 2020 glasses to knuckle rings spelling “Thank U, Next”. On top of that Sansa received a gift that was combined with Margaery’s: a spa day. They gave Leonette a big hug afterwards. Margaery, managing to always make Sansa awkward, handed everyone their gifts at once. As everyone pulled open their gifts, Sansa discovered Margaery had given her and Willas the exact same perfume with pretty golden letters wrapped around the bottle.

‘I don’t understand, is this a women’s perfume?’ Sansa asked.

‘First of all, scent has no gender. Secondly, it is more to the androgynous side but it is marketed as a women’s perfume . However, it fit the both of you and your aesthetics’, Margaery shrugged with a wink.

Sansa looked over at Willas, who gave her an amused smile as he tested the perfume. It smelled clean, fresh and citrussy, with undertones of musk and cedar. Margaery wasn’t wrong, although Willas’ scent was usually spicier.

Her gaze flickered towards him again. He’d risen and was now collecting his presents from underneath the tree. At least nobody would be able to tell they’d been together based on their smell. And even better, now they would both be associated with the same perfume. For some reason that made her very happy.

Willas made his round around the table, sharing amiable conversation with everyone. As she watched him laugh when Olenna picked up her expensive gift set she wondered what she would get. Nothing special, probably. Hopefully. Her gift for him was so simple it would be awkward if he’d give her something expensive. She’d find out soon, he was already at her.

‘Hi.’

‘Miss Stark, your gift’, he said, offering a small parcel in golden wrapping to her.

Her heart skipped a beat at his dazzling smile.

‘Thank you.’

It felt soft. Fabric. It was some kind of fabric. She tore open the paper. Soft pale blue fabric peeked between the golden paper. It was a scarf. A very soft scarf. She tore the package further.

‘Afraid I’ll catch my death outside?’ she teased.

‘Thought a scarf would at least delay the inevitable’, he joked.

‘Thank you. I love blue.’

‘I noticed, you wear it often.’

He’d noticed that? Gods, she’d been so oblivious.

But it wasn’t the end of her gift.

‘Oh.’

She lifted the scarf out of the packaging. Two shimmering dangle earrings with snowflakes at the bottom were pinned to the scarf. They were gorgeous.

He dressed her warm for winter but was mindful of her love for the season.

‘Does it do?’ he asked again.

Last night she’d kept in her enthusiasm, afraid it told him too much.

‘I adore it. It’s beautiful. Thank you’, she smiled. He nodded, moving on to the next person.

Her gift would be such a disappointment. Crap.

Margaery gave her a kick underneath the table. Sansa looked up at her.

‘What?’ Margaery asked, raising her eyebrows. Sansa managed a shrug.

‘What was that look?’

‘A grateful one?’ Sansa guessed, a smile breaking through on her face.

‘Oh you. Get up and give your gifts’, Margaery laughed.

Sansa did listen and get her gifts. She was too nervous to wait around for everyone to individually open their gifts, so she adopted Margaery’s technique of walking around the table and giving everyone their gifts in quick succession.

Renly’s laugh filled the room before she sat down. He lifted his wine cork with a stag with glee. ‘How fitting!’

Loras, now curious for his own gift, discovered a wine bottle. ‘Hey, now we know who she thinks is the top’, Renly joked, deserving a scowl and a slap from Loras.

Margaery was very satisfied with her bath bombs and bubble bars, Leonette thanked Sansa for her lily scented bath set. Garlan only answered when Sansa sat down, asking Sansa how she knew he had wanted the card game she’d given him.

‘You once played it at a garden party and really enjoyed it. Said you wanted it yourself’, Sansa smiled.

‘Good memory.’

Olenna still found reason to complain about the set of crystal glasses and the bottle of strongwine Sansa had given her. ‘Thank you child, but you force me into a difficult position giving me only six glasses. Now some people will have to go thirsty.’

Sansa’s cheeks burned, but she felt the comforting weight of Willas’ foot against her own, reaching out underneath the table. Four and six glasses were standard. She hadn’t considered how large the family was and how attached all Tyrell children’s partners were.

Willas was last to go. Sansa bit her lip, watching him.

It was beard grooming set wrapped in a tea towel embroidered with Reachian birds underneath a rising sun.

‘This is lovely, where did you find it?’ he asked as he observed the birds.

Margaery leaned over the table to get a good view of it.

‘What is it Willas?’ Alerie asked.

‘A beard set and… a tea towel’, he explained, lifting the towel.

‘Gods above, Sansa’, laughed Margaery, falling back into her chair, recognizing her friend’s handiwork. ‘Where did you find time for that?’

Willas looked at her with question marks in his eyes.

‘The towel is basic. I embroidered it’, Sansa admitted.

‘You made this?’ Willas asked.

‘Oh, let me see that’, Olenna demanded, snatching it out of Willas’ hands.

‘Who taught you this stitching method? This method was already ancient back when I was young’, Olenna questioned, bringing it close to her eye for inspection.

‘Nice lines. No sloppy threads, fine details’, she said as she turned it around. ‘You have talent girl. And patience. When they tried to teach me in school I had no patience for that kind of stuff, rather do something more useful. Very pretty’, Olenna said, giving it back to Willas.

‘Thanks.’

Amidst the conversation Garlan and Renly had risen and distributed their gifts around the table.

Leonette and Loras looked up at their partners, confusion on their faces. Loras was the first to ask.

‘Am I getting something?’ Loras asked.

‘Sure, it’s outside’, Renly grinned.

‘What?’

‘So is yours, darling’, Garlan grinned.

‘Don’t tell me it’s a car’, Loras said, jumping upright.

‘Oh Garlan’, Leonette smiled.

Renly waved them to the door.

No sooner were they out than Renly sprinted towards the music installation, putting on ‘Love and Marriage’. Garlan pulled a giant man-sized white cardboard with “Will you marry me?” from behind a tall bookcase, placing it in front of the window beside the Christmas tree. The men pulled their boxes out of their pants. 

‘Oh dears, really?’ Alerie asked.

‘Yeah, you might wanna film this’, Renly winked. Alerie immediately moved to a good position to film Renly and Garlan as they sat down underneath the Christmas tree.

‘Good luck.’

‘Good luck to you too.’

‘Still separate wedding dates?’

‘Sure’, Garlan agreed.

Everyone collected near the doorway.

‘Oh god no!’ they heard Loras gasp from the hallway

‘Oh my gods!’ cried Leonette. ‘Is it for you?’ Leonette’s voice asked.

‘How should I know?’ Loras questioned.

They appeared in the doorway. This time no one remarked they stood under the mistletoe together.

Garlan and Renly looked at each other, nodding before turning towards their lovers. ‘Marry me?’ they asked together.

Loras staggered forward, but Leonette ran, tackling Garlan and causing everyone to gasp in fear of the tree.

‘Yes!’ Leonette cried, wrapping her arms around Garlan.

‘Yes. Yes, yes’, Loras laughed, pulling his fiancé up before hugging him.

Sansa felt tempted to take a picture, one couple rolling over the floor in embrace, the other frozen in happiness.

Alerie pushed the camera in Sansa’s hands without looking, rushing over to Loras and Garlan to offer her congratulations. Sansa laughed and took a step backwards, trying to get it all on camera.

Margaery ran to Loras as well, offering her congratulations and professing her utter adoration for the ring.

Mace clapped all the men on the back, welcoming everyone into the family officially.

‘It’ll be hard for them to top their gifts next year’, Willas joked.

Sansa turned towards Willas, who had come to stand beside her.

‘It’ll probably be something cliché like Leonette announcing baby news or Renly giving Loras a pet. Something awfully domestic’, Sansa replied.

‘Tooth rotting stuff.’

‘A good kind of tooth rotting stuff’, Sansa smiled.

‘Yeah, good kind’, he nodded.

‘Don’t think I’m not noticing the mistletoe!’ Leonette cried out from across the room.

‘Not again’, Sansa moaned, looking up to verify that yes indeed, they were standing right underneath the mistletoe again.

‘Might need to reconsider getting glasses’, Willas grinned.

‘You’d look good with them’, Sansa couldn’t help saying.

‘Remember my lessons!’ Garlan called, wrapping his fiancée up in his arms.

‘Yes?’ Sansa asked Willas.

‘Here?’

‘Don’t have to’, she said.

‘I have no objection against some magical Christmas luck’, he decided, pulling her against him with one arm and pressing a chaste kiss against her lips.

Garlan whooped.

‘We’ll run out of mistletoe magic before Christmas Day is over at this rate’, Olenna noted dryly. Willas plucked a berry from the branch.

‘Whether they’re all used in one day, or over a two week period doesn’t matter, it contains just as much luck’, Willas pointed out.

‘And you’ve absorbed half of it by now. Make sure you have something to show for it by the end of the next year boy.’

Properly embarrassed, Sansa and Willas moved away from their location.

Sansa, cheeks flushed, went over to congratulate Leonette and Garlan. Leonette sported a classic golden engagement ring with a long rectangular diamond stone. Moving over to convey her wishes to Loras and Renly she noticed Loras’ one was a lot more lavish. The ring had a row of diamonds on the top and bottom, and blue gems in the middle, separated by lines of gold. It was flashy, but entirely fit in with Loras’ style.

After Garlan and Renly told the very much dramatized story about their engagement struggles, it became clear that the newly engaged couples very much wanted some time alone. Even Sansa, who usually never wanted Christmas Eve to end, was convinced that the evening had reached its highest point and was perfectly happy to end the night there. Mace was yawning on the couch, and Olenna, although still sharp of eye, looked like she was just staying up because everyone else was still up.

Sansa grew nervous on the couch, impatiently watching the movie that was on while regularly checking out Willas.

It were Garlan and Leonette who freed everyone from their obligation to stay downstairs, deciding they were going to bed. Mace nodded, saying it was a good idea. Olenna, Loras and Renly agreed.

‘Everyone’s off to bed already?’ Margaery asked.

‘It’s almost two Marge. Breakfast is at nine. Most of us would like at least six hours of sleep’, Willas pointed out.

‘Got to admit he’s right’, Sansa admitted, unintentionally yawning after she said that.

‘Fine’, Margaery huffed, stretching out on the couch before rising.

‘To bed it is’, she decided, putting out the television.

They all walked upstairs, gifts in hand.

Sansa pretended she wasn’t disappointed when Willas wished them goodnight and went straight into his room.

‘So’, Margaery said, raising her eyebrows as she pushed open the door of her room.

‘What was that business with the both you being late with the coffee?’ she asked quietly. She beckoned Sansa to follow her into her room.

‘Why?’

‘You were blushing.’

‘I’ve blushed a lot the past few days. Doesn’t have to mean anything.’

‘It doesn’t, but then there was that kiss.’

‘It was only a peck.’

‘Ah, but it was one. And the time before it was on the cheek.’

‘Who bet on the twenty-fourth?’ Sansa asked.

‘Leonette.’

‘Sorry Marge’, Sansa smiled, taking a step back.

‘What? No! You can’t just say stuff like that and then go’, Margaery shout-whispered.

‘Give me time. It’s too soon to say anything for sure.’

‘That’s why I gave you until New Year’s Eve to get everything figured out’, Margaery smiled. She put down her presents and gave Sansa a hug.

‘To bed with you then. Sweet dreams.’

‘Thanks. You too.’

Sansa opened the door of her room, dropping her gifts with a sigh. After the way Willas had kissed her she’d expected something more, instead of one kiss and then going to bed without any further word about it.

‘It is what it is’, Sansa sighed, walking over to her desk to read her list. Funny how she’d thought discovering whether they liked each other would solve everything. They had kissed but the world hadn’t changed. They weren’t a couple. And she still didn’t know how to move forward.

The sound of footsteps in the room beside her drew her attention. Usually, she didn’t hear him walking. Looking up, she found that the door to the bathroom was open. Odd, she hadn’t left it that way. She slid out of her heels and took a step forward. The other bathroom door was open as well, light from his room trickling into the bathroom. Even more odd, his was usually closed as well.

Had he done this?

Her heartbeat picked up. She wasn’t great at all this brave stuff, but Willas had taken so much initiative and this was probably a clear sign he wanted to talk. She could do this for him. And so she went down the rabbit hole, knocking on the partially opened door.

‘Yes?’

‘It’s me’, Sansa managed to say as she opened the door further. Willas was standing near his bedside, still fully dressed.

‘I know, I didn’t expect anyone else to come through that door’, he teased.

An awkward laugh tumbled over her lips.

‘Are you fine?’ he checked, coming closer.

‘Yes… just. Shy I guess’, she admitted.

‘Shy, you never seemed so before. Introverted yes, but shy? Wouldn’t you be, I don’t know, more silent and hesitant?’

‘Well, I know everyone pretty well. So I’m not as nervous around them as I usually am around people. I just slip into friend mode, I’m a bit more open then.’

‘But you are nervous around me?’ he asked, standing close enough that she could touch him if she reached out.

‘No… Yes. Not for a bad reason’, she admitted, looking up at him. Gods, he was entirely too handsome.

‘What’s a bad reason and what’s a good reason?’

‘Uhm well’, she started, still clutching the door between her hands. She liked the door, it supported her.

Sansa paused as he pulled her hands free from the door and held them in his own.

‘I opened the doors so we could talk. If you want?’ he suggested, offering her a way out of the conversation.

‘Well I’m here, aren’t I?’

‘Guess you are’, he smiled, his eyes falling onto their hands.

He fell silent.

A shiver ran down her spine. She observed his brows moving, the only indication that he hadn’t turned into a statue.

‘So, just talking?’ she teased after collecting her courage.

He looked up, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth again.

‘You’re interested in something else than talking?’

‘I’m well… I thought’, she stammered.

‘I thought the same’, he admitted with a smirk before bending forward.

He reached for her, his hands crossing the line like it wasn’t even there. And then she was in his arms and his lips were planted on hers.

His lips were a sweet relief. She had a far easier time conveying her feelings through touch than through words. She melted into him, surrendering her mouth to his experienced lips. 

She fell against the bathroom door. Perhaps it was a good thing, else she would have just stumbled backwards into nothing. Her knees were weak. Willas made expert use of the new support, leaning one arm against it while the other slid down her waist.

His mouth travelled south again, placing kissing along the length of her neck. She let out a sigh, her hands finding purchase in his curls as he kissed down the deep cut of her dress. Her heart rose, beating furiously against the constraints of her chest. It wanted to go to him, its master.

‘Perhaps we should sit’, he suggested as they broke apart.

‘Maybe’, Sansa admitted. She didn’t make it to the chairs, she just flopped down on the bed, her knees too unstable to support her for more than a couple of seconds. Willas tensed, taking place beside her, but keeping his hands to himself.

She kept her hands on his bed. His sheets were soft and blue. She traced a finger alongside them. she wonder what kind of fabric it was.

‘I know this… kind of ruins the casual and spontaneous aspect of it all but I feel I need to tell you today, or else I’ll be leading you on…’

There she’d have it. It would only be casual. Wealthy wine merchant and former golden boy Willas Tyrell wouldn’t actually consider dating her long term.

‘But as you must have guessed by now, I’m not really the type to do casual things anymore.’

‘I know’, she muttered, digging her fingers into the sheets.

Willas remained silent.

Then the gears in Sansa’s tired brain kicked into action.

If he didn’t want a casual thing… and he’d still kissed her… that had to mean…

‘Oh.’

Willas remained silent.

‘I thought, with yesterday, when you drank when Margaery said that you wanted a relationship to continue forever, you might share my opinion on casual dating.’

‘I do’, she admitted, forcing herself to look up.

‘I’d really like to get to know you, Sansa.’

She nodded, biting at the grin that was breaking through her face.

Finally. Teenage Sansa would have fainted of happiness. It wasn’t a: “will you be my girlfriend?”. And they might still flop. But dating was more than teenage Sansa could have ever expected.

‘I’d like that too’, she admitted. She covered one of his hands with her own. The fever spread from that hand, pushing her into action. She moved closer towards him, reeling him in with her free hand.

Willas answered the call of her lips.

Everywhere he touched, she caught flame. And every time he pressed his lips against her, a bomb of ecstasy went off inside her head.

Her breath grew ragged, fingers twisting in his hair, grasping his neck, hauling him in. Deciding distance was a concept that should be retired between them, she swung her leg across of his lap, straddling him as she sat down.

Her mind grew foggy with lust. Willas’ fingers knotted into her hair, pulling her head ever so slightly to the side so he could kiss her neck and shoulder, placing teasing bites and kissing along the length of it.

She gasped, her hips automatically buckling forward. Willas groaned, encouraging her actions.

 _You can touch him too,_ her brain whispered.

She shoved her hands underneath his shirt. His skin was warm underneath her fingertips, the muscles underneath trembling underneath her fingers.

And that was when the dream splattered into pieces. Willas halted.

‘I uhm –‘ he said as he drew back slightly.

He swallowed, trying to smile but failing.

‘I’m sorry’, she stammered. The temperature in the room dropped by a hundred degrees. What was she thinking? He offered to date her and she’d ridden him like she’d planned to bed him the very same night.

‘No no… don’t. Don’t say that’, he muttered. ‘It’s just… it’s been a while.’

‘Me too. Over two years’, she admitted. She knew with Willas there was a whole lot more time and a whole lot more that influenced his hesitancy. But she hoped that by sharing a bit of his awkwardness, he wouldn’t feel so bad.

‘It’s not like I have anything against… you know. On first dates and the like.’

‘I didn’t mean to… it… it was only just kissing. I wouldn’t have gone… that far’, Sansa admitted.

He sighed, dropping his head against her chest.

‘I’m usually a lot smoother than this.’

‘Can’t say I have a lot of experience in this area to have a usual way of acting’, she admitted.

‘No?’

‘No. Shy, remember?’

‘Not so shy now.’

‘Guess not. Must be because we’ve known each other for some years. And now I know what we are’, she smiled. She’d never felt the same need to know Harry and Joffrey in the same way she wanted to know Willas.

Willas nodded, chewing on his cheek.

‘Years of knowing and then suddenly in one week _boom’_ , he laughed.

‘Not just a week’, Sansa laughed, rolling her eyes.

Wait.

He didn’t know that. _Shit_.

She looked back at Willas.

She could see the gears in his head whirring. Balance scales were tipping and she didn’t know whether she was going to like what ended up coming out of his mouth.

Why couldn’t you unsend messages in real life?

‘Then when?’ he decided, articulating every word with merciless intent.

‘When I started finding you attractive? Gosh, I’ll tell you if you tell me. Seems only fair.’

She actually didn’t want to know. It probably was this week. And she would look like a total creep if she was honest. But it limited the damage, if only a little.

‘Fair’, he nodded.

‘I kind of liked you when I first met you’, she admitted. ‘Didn’t know you very well back then though.’

‘I don’t remember that first time’, he said. ‘But uhm, today I heard that I must have liked you well enough to kiss you. Not that that always means something but I wouldn’t do that if I disliked someone.’

‘What?’

How did he know about that kiss?

‘What?’ he asked, lips quirking upward. ‘You’re the one who still knew all our conversational topics. So I was a bit surprised when Oberyn told me I’d kissed you before.’

Sansa swallowed.

She was damned.

‘Oh.’

‘Why didn’t you ever tell me?’

She suddenly really wanted to be off his lap. But that would feel mean.

‘I – ‘

She’d kept a memory from him.

‘It never came up. And I didn’t want to make things awkward between us at first. And then I also felt like perhaps it would have made our interactions sound more meaningful than they were. Which they weren’t, because I wasn’t the only girl you kissed that night. And I knew you were something of a…’

‘Womanizer’, he filled in.

‘Yeah.’

‘I did feel guilty for keeping it from you though.’

‘I understand’, Willas said, looking up at her.

‘But I only met Oberyn two years later at that party for Loras’, Sansa stammered. ‘How would he…’

‘Apparently I pointed you out without introducing you at New Year’s. When Oberyn introduced himself years later he thought it was time for proper introductions.’

‘You pointed me out?’ she couldn’t help but ask.

‘What, now I can’t keep memories of the night secret?’ he teased.

‘No, you can. You don’t have to answer.’

‘Well, I’m going to tell you anyways’, he decided, putting his hands on her hips.

Surprised by his move, she looked him in the eyes.

‘I pointed you out saying I’d kissed you and wanted to get to know you. Apparently, I’d thought about you the week after and had informed Oberyn I would be asking Margaery for your number but was still waiting until a week had passed so I wouldn’t be seen as desperate.’

‘Oh. Oh seven help me’, Sansa stammered.

That meant that if the accident hadn’t happened, they could have been dating. She could have dated Willas Tyrell. It hadn’t been impossible. She wasn’t just a weak alternative to the models he used to date, she’d contended with those models and _won_.

‘I confess it confused me a bit. I thought the past few days there was this… thing between us. But then when Oberyn told me I wondered whether I hadn’t been imagining things. Because if you _were_ interested in me, why couldn’t you have told me the truth yesterday evening? I reasoned the whole reason why things were tense between us was because you felt awkward because we had kissed in the past but you didn’t want to do that anymore. Which I could completely understand. And when I started pushing my presence on you, you decided to leave out that piece of information to not encourage me. But then tonight in the kitchen… I decided to go for it anyways. Despite that you clearly didn’t want to remind me that we’d gone down that road in the past.’

‘What? That makes no sense at all’, she stammered. ‘I mean… I practically professed my unconditional belief in you during that garden party. I was so glad Margaery came when she did because I would have said way too much otherwise. And then in the club when we were playing cards with Oberyn and I just couldn’t tear my eyes away from you and how about all the times these past few days when I said way too much and stared way too much?’ she stammered.

‘The garden party?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘But I was… I could barely string two sentences together.’

She was giving all her secrets away way too soon. But he looked just so –

She couldn’t stop herself. She’d do anything to replace that insecure expression on his face. Although she’d undoubtedly come to regret telling him so much tomorrow morning.

‘You said you appreciated your family. Any idea how rare it is to find a man with family values under the age of thirty?’ Sansa asked with a laugh. ‘Joff was an ass who even treated his mother and uncle cruelly, despite all they did for him. Worse, he bullied me for caring about my family. Having someone openly admit they appreciate their family really gets a girl going.’

‘And that did it, despite the crutches and the memory issues?’ he asked incredulously.

She put her arms around his shoulders.

‘You were always a catch. Then too.’

He yanked her head towards his own, slamming their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept deleting and adding parts, wondering whether I should include the awkward. The awkward won, it always kept crawling back in. It's not as romantic, but it just feels a tad more real, which is something I love. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and thank you everyone for leaving such loving comments!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go, a little something something for Christmas

On the morning of Christmas Day Sansa awoke early and tired, and not at all in much of a Christmas mood. She should have closed the curtains had she wanted to sleep past seven with ease.

No sooner had she pulled shut the drapes around her bed than memories of the previous night came back to her, and put a smile on her face. Her heart awakened, thudding happily in her chest. She had kissed Willas Tyrell. And Willas Tyrell had kissed her. Not once, not twice, not even thrice, but for over an hour. Better yet, he wanted to continue dating her. And best of all, this wasn’t an impulsive thing for either of them. He actually liked her from the start.

She hugged her spare pillow, allowing her thoughts to start wandering. Now that she wasn’t distracted by his presence, she could easily puzzle together so much more. The phone conversation she’d overheard the previous day had been about her. Without being aware of it at the time, Oberyn had been giving away her best kept secret, which he had apparently kept secret from Willas without being aware it was a secret.

And then Oberyn had probably asked Willas if he’d asked Sansa for her account of the night, which had indeed happened the twenty-third. But she’d kept it secret, not saying a word about it. He had tried giving her the excuse of drinking too much alcohol the night itself, but she’d been too specific for that to be true. And that’s how he’d come to the horrible conclusion that she’d deliberately kept it from him because she didn’t want him anymore.

Now she couldn’t help but wonder about the dozens of what ifs that had never come to fruition.

Had Willas asked Margaery for Sansa’s number sooner, Sansa would have know of his interest in her and wouldn’t have felt so shy around him. Perhaps they would have even gone on a date. But Willas was right. He hadn’t been in a good place after the accident. And she would have been anxious for the whole three months of his coma. He might not even have remembered her when he woke up. There were a shit ton of movies about the tragedy of a partner with memory loss. Perhaps he would have even cut her off, the way he’d cut off almost everyone he knew except for Oberyn. But then… _‘I never felt like I was lesser. I always felt, well… almost normal. I sometimes even forget around –‘._ Around her? Could she have been an exception like Oberyn? She’d told him he was always Willas for her. And he’d told her he knew she would never see him differently. And he’d almost immediately taken her up to his chamber after she’d said that. She wondered if he had indeed been waiting around for a girl he felt saw him for who he was instead of who he wasn’t.

But even the accident had happened they could have gotten together sooner. If only he’d asked Margaery for her number before she could have been bolder and given him more hints and encouragement throughout their later encounters, knowing he was at least a bit attracted to her. Perhaps they could have gotten together sooner.

And if the accident hadn’t happened she could have been happy with him. They could have been dating for years, and she would have been spared Joffrey and Harry. Or they wouldn’t have worked out at all. Willas and Margaery had both said as much. He’d been a womanizer, traveling the world, living the big life, while she was going to college. They were more equal now, on similar paths, wanting similar things. Perhaps they would have dated for some months before she would have inevitably gotten her heart broken.

It was almost cruel to consider, and for sure she never wanted Willas to go through five years of pain, a lot of physical challenges and a very bruised ego, but he fit her now. And she fit him because her bad experiences made her long for a man like him, because Bran had an injury that made her understand Willas better. Now they could be together in a way they never would have before. And she would never have found out just how much they fit together if her Christmas hadn’t been ruined by lockdown. Perhaps it was serendipity. All strokes of bad luck in their lives had pushed them onto the road towards each other.

Perhaps her mother aught to know. But perhaps it was too soon. Her mother had been very patient with her yesterday, she usually didn’t have the patience for Sansa’s worries. Catelyn Stark had a lot of motherly worry, but also a practical “chin up” mentality. She wouldn’t bother her on Christmas Day with nothing more to report than news of a kiss.

Somewhere between her mind firing questions that couldn’t be answered and her memories making her giddy, she slipped away again, to be awoken by Margaery sometime later. She groaned, burying her head beneath the pillow.

‘Let me guess, you want the story’, Sansa reasoned.

‘We both do’, a voice which wasn’t Margaery’s answered.

Sansa shot upright, the light blinding her now that her curtains were pulled open. On her bed sat Margaery, and on her desk chair sat Leonette.

‘How do you know?’

‘Garlan’, Leonette smiled.

Now Sansa noticed that Leonette was already dressed. ‘We got engaged so obviously he had other priorities last night, but tomorrow he suddenly realized it wasn’t like Willas at all to just follow Garlan’s advice. And he was like: wait why would my brother kiss a girl on the mouth when he wouldn’t before? It can’t be just because I told him he had to kiss a girl differently’, Leonette said, mimicking Garlan’s expression and voice.

Sansa covered her face with her hands.

‘So everyone knows?’

‘Alerie and Mace aren’t the prying kind and Loras and Renly are oblivious. So maybe nobody else suspects. But so… the tea, sis. Spill it.’

‘You’re setting yourself up for a very long story’, Margaery warned Leonette.

‘Let’s focus on last night. What happened?’ Margaery asked Sansa.

‘We might have kissed in the kitchen’, Sansa replied.

‘Ah, that’s why the coffee making took so long’, Margaery grinned.

‘Coffee making, is that what the kids call it these days?’ Leonette asked. She really did share her dorky humour with her boyfriend.

‘And then you kissed under the mistletoe’, Margaery nodded.

‘And then we kissed in his bedroom’, Sansa admitted.

‘Only kissing?’ Margaery asked.

‘They only just shared their first kiss Margy’, Leonette scolded. ‘I think it’s adorable. The more I think of it the more it fits. The two of you together.’

‘So? Boy wants girl. Girl wants boy. _Bazang_!’ she smirked, slapping her hands together.

‘There was no _bazang’_ , Sansa admitted. ‘He actually explicitly asked for no _bazang_ as you call it.’

Leonette nodded sagely.

‘He’s rusty Marge. He hasn’t dated in five years. Give them a week.’

‘A week?’ Sansa shrieked.

‘I just thought, you know’, Margaery shrugged. She looked back at Sansa, smiling sadly. ‘That you’d tempt him more than he’d be scared.’

Sansa was really unprepared to take part in this conversation.

She crawled out of bed, moving over toward her dresser, taking out a panty and a comfortable woollen dress.

‘You think we’ll work out?’

‘Why wouldn’t you? If Willas so much as considers dumping you I’ll riot. You’d make the perfect third sister. We can band together against all the testosterone in the house. Just imagine all the fun we’ll have’, Leonette smiled, carried away by the image of a perfect happy loving family in which everyone was settled.

‘Ooh, I like this idea very much. Yes, after the brother trio finally a sister trio’, Margaery grinned. ‘Honestly dear, I’d love to have you as a sister. Oh little did I know when I adopted you as my protegee at that camp I’d be adopting my future sister-in-law’, Margaery grinned.

‘It hasn’t even been a day. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves’, Sansa said, opening the door to the bathroom. The other side was closed. No sound from the other side. Sansa washed and dressed as Leonette and Margaery continued talking in her bedroom.

‘Sansa? Sansa? Sansa what do you think?’ Leonette asked.

‘What?’ Sansa asked, pushing the door open.

‘What’s the nicest: a spring, summer or autumn wedding? I’m not much for winter. It’s pretty but it’s cold which isn’t as nice when you’re having a party’, Leonette explained.

‘Well. the least rainy months are between April and August. I wouldn’t want a rainy wedding, personally’, Sansa decided.

‘Good point. See, an early summer wedding would be perfect Marge. Everything will be in bloom, it’ll be nice and warm. And it won’t be as difficult to get people together as it is during the real summer months.’

‘But there’s still a virus out there. You want a big wedding. Do you think you can get that by May or June?’

‘I’m going to give the bitch one more year to go away. Next year around May sounds lovely, doesn’t it?’ Leonette asked.

‘Yeah sure, as long as it isn’t on my birthday’, Margaery decided.

‘Oh wow, is this your bathroom? It’s a lot different from ours’, Leonette brought out, stepping in as Sansa did her make-up.

‘How so? You mean here in this house right?’ Sansa asked.

‘Yes, our bathroom is very different.’

‘Different how? It looks normal to me. You mean a different design?’

‘It’s pretty similar in style. Our shower is the same, also a walk in, but we don’t have that big handle here. Or that built-in bench. And our bathtub is a fancy one standing on four clawed feet, not bricked in like this one. And why a foot of stone here at the end of the bath? I mean, I suppose it’s nice to sit on’, Leonette shrugged as she sat down on it with her knees crossed.

Sansa watched her through the mirror, taking in the bathroom.

‘Odd placement for a towel hanger. Right above the bath’, she mused.

Sansa hadn’t even noticed that it was strange to have such things in place. Her bathroom with Margaery was tiny and didn’t have it but at home in Winterfell there were a lot more handgrips. They even had a roll-in shower.

‘They’re not meant to hand towels on’, Sansa said quietly.

‘Then what are – oh. Oh dear. I’m so stupid. Five years and I still…’ Leonette sighed, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. She looked around the room again, all alterations adding up now.

‘See, this is why you’re so perfect for him. He really hates talking about some things and you already know so much. I imagine he’d have a hard time explaining everything to someone who doesn’t know the first thing about well…’

‘Having a brother in a wheelchair is far from the same thing’, Sansa pointed out, uncharacteristically irked by the generalisation.

‘Yes but… You already know a thing or two about how society treats him. And it’s already kind of normal for you to take such things into account. For outsiders it’s completely new. I’m not supposed to say this but that one date he’d been on… she kept on asking him questions. Can you do this? How do you do that? Said things like how hard his life must be and how she couldn’t imagine being in his shoes and basically. Willas walked out feeling like a burden on future lovers. You look at the bathroom modifications and don’t even bat an eye.’

Her heart broke a little. _You’re the kind of bitch that made him doubt someone would ever want him,_ Sansa cursed that wretched date. The bitch must have been blind.

‘You alright, Sansa?’ Leonette asked.

‘Yeah’, Sansa smiled sweetly, putting down her powder and brush and picking up the perfume Margaery had given her. ‘Just thinking about ways to kill the bitch.’

‘Oh dear, is this that famed northern iciness?’ Leonette grinned. ‘Don’t do it alone. I want to hurt her too.’

‘Our first group activity as sisters’, Margaery laughed, leaning against the door.

The girls skipped down for breakfast. The pastry was already out of the oven and the table was decked out with many homemade jams and local cheeses, bowls of fruit, honey and yoghurt.

The two pairs of engaged people sat beside each other, amiably chatting away.

Sansa sank down in the seat across Willas. He regretfully wasn’t wearing a suit, but the cream cable knit jumper looked just as alluring to touch. But she couldn’t. At least not now. She reached out for the teapot to keep her hands occupied.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Willas asked as he smeared his toast. It could not have looked more inconspicuous. She was jealous of how subtle he could be.

‘It was fine, would have been better if I hadn’t woken up early and had then been most rudely awoken by those two’, Sansa said, nodding at Margaery and Leonette.

‘Not a fan of waking up early?’

‘Not really. Especially not when I’m awoken by others. I don’t know how you do it… Waking up early. Especially since you don’t go to bed particularly early either.’

‘I wasn’t always good at it before, back when others decided when I had to wake up it was truly painful. Perhaps living alone and having control over the time and way I wake up helps’, Willas smirked.

‘Damn right that helps. I never had an issue getting out of bed until I started living with that one. Getting out of bed gets a hundred percent more difficult if you have a sleepy warm body beside yours, spinning like a cat and wrapping her arm around you if you stir. You feel like a monster for leaving. The amount of times I’ve almost been late because of that’, Garlan grinned, staring lovingly at his fiancée who giggled sweetly in return.

Sansa smiled, that sounded heavenly. She hated how empty her bed felt. Back when she was with Joffrey she loved it when he was silent and sleeping, hot beside her. Though in retrospect him being silent might have had a lot of that to do with it.

‘Why are you waking up early anyways. You don’t have to study’, Margaery asked Willas. ‘And you’re not a morning person like Loras who enjoys sporting underneath the rising sun.’

‘I do my work in the mornings, when half of you are still in bed and the house is peaceful. Making sure all my stocks are alright, do some exercise before you’re all out and about. And then I can do whatever I want for the remainder of the day.’

Her cheeks heated up. She’d noticed he liked doing his exercise in peace.

‘Like reading books?’ Sansa smiled.

‘Exactly’, Willas smirked before he took a sip of his cup of coffee.

He drank his coffee black. She stashed that piece of information away. She remembered once thinking of his voice as being reminiscent of black coffee. She couldn’t help but be proud of nineteen year old Sansa’s correct guess.

‘To each their own I suppose’, Loras shrugged.

‘Not a fan of reading?’ Sansa asked.

‘Novels are nice, once in a while, but those dry content books he sometimes reads. Biographies and theoretical books… What was it again, oh right, last year he read a book on all kinds of birds in Dorne. It was like this big! Incomprehensible’, Loras laughed.

Margaery and Garlan grinned at the memory. But Willas merely shrugged, undazed, and continued drinking.

‘We’re all financing another part of the book market. If it was truly a bad topic and didn’t sell, there wouldn’t be books about it’, Willas reasoned.

‘Loras is one of those murder mystery and thriller readers while on holiday’, Renly grinned.

‘At least those contain more words than pictures’, Loras scowled. Renly grinned, looking from his fiancé to Sansa.

‘He looks down on comic books. But I believe good arguments can be made for them. And I read a lot of books on business as well. It’s called balance’, Renly decided.

‘I don’t look down on comic books. I only said that because you were pretending like there was something wrong with enjoying –‘

‘Murder?’ Margaery interrupted.

Loras paused, the egg dropping off his fork with which he was pointing at Renly. His gaze fell to his plate before looking up at Margaery.

‘Growing up with the likes of you, I believe that’s totally justified’, Loras decided before picking up his piece of egg again.

‘What’s wrong with growing up with Margaery?’ Sansa asked.

The table paused.

‘Sansa, didn’t you attack Margaery in my car for waking you up?’ Garlan asked. ‘You know just what’s wrong with her.’

‘So? Doesn’t everyone have annoying habits? Annoying each other is just being siblings.’

‘I was never annoying. Neither was Willas’, Garlan defended.

‘Thank you’, Willas smiled, touched.

‘You were annoying in the older brother style, not in the younger sibling style’, Loras pointed out.

‘What does that even mean?’ Willas huffed.

‘Being a killjoy, saying no to fun ideas, not wanting to play along anymore, acting like a parent, clicking to mom and dad’, Loras listed.

‘Damn, sounds like listening to Arya back when I was a teen’, Sansa muttered.

‘She’s younger?’ Willas asked, ignoring Loras. Sansa nodded.

‘She also accused me of ruining many things for her. I got great grades in school so she felt that if she scored lesser it would be “Why aren’t you as good as Sansa and Robb’s?” and if she scored the same it wouldn’t be “Great Job” but “You did what was expected”. But when I pointed out that she got younger child privileges like getting to do things earlier because it worked out for me and Robb the house was too small.’

‘She has a solid point. Father above save me every time I got compared to them’, Loras cried out.

Willas rolled his eyes. Sansa felt slightly guilty to adding to the sibling battle.

‘And how is that our fault though? We aren’t the ones forcing you to live up to something. We’re just doing our thing. That’s all just… well. You, to be frank’, Sansa pointed out.

Loras paused, and for a second Sansa really thought she’d done it and damned herself to Loras’ dislike-list.

‘Not only us. Our parents too’, he replied. As if his parents didn’t sit right beside him.

‘Dear, I only wanted you to do well for yourself’, Alerie pointed out. Sansa found it unsurprising but certainly telling that she only talked about herself.

‘You did wonder why I wasn’t as great as them though.’

‘Yes, but then I did wonder the same about Garlan. And isn’t it good I did?’ Alerie questioned.

Loras shrugged.

‘And didn’t I help you, instead of mock you for not excelling in the same things I did?’ Willas asked.

‘You did. I merely pointed out that we were being compared. Garlan could never match you in languages, and I could never match you in either languages or maths.’

Oh right, the dyslexia and dyscalculia. She hadn’t even tried to fit those things into the whole mess of Mace and Olenna expecting the children to excel in everything. No wonder they got salty and envious with each other so much in school. Everyone wanted to be the best at everything, and Garlan and Loras literally couldn’t excel at that. Which only made their competition in sports worse.

‘Loras, we never held that against you. You had an excuse’, Mace pointed out. ‘Just like Wil-‘ Mace Tyrell cleverly decided not to finish that sentence.

‘Right, well, we’re all past that now. Got out on the other end’, Willas decided wisely.

‘Shall we do something this afternoon? As a group?’ Margaery asked with a high chipper tone, steering the table away from the topic.

‘Yes. That sounds lovely dear. Why don’t we go on a nice healthy winter walk through the woods not far from Highgarden?’ Alerie proposed.

‘You don’t suggest we go there by foot. That’s over a forty minute walk before we get there’, Renly asked.

‘No. How about the cars? We can fit nicely into two’, Alerie suggested.

‘Why don’t we take the horses?’ Leonette asked.

‘Oh that’s wonderful!’ Margaery cried.

‘A good exercise, for us and them’, Olenna nodded, still an avid horsewoman at her advanced age.

‘I’ll have to find my gloves. But sure’, Mace smiled, putting cheese between a croissant to Sansa’s horror.

‘We don’t have enough horses’, Willas pointed out.

The table, so happy with the prospect before, looked severely disappointed. The knives and forks hitting the plates sounded hard and awkward.

‘How many are there?’ asked Sansa. She knew the Tyrells were big horse lovers and had a big stable.

‘There’s nine. We’re one short. We each have one, Leonette rides an old mare Garlan adopted from a horse school nearby and Renly’s using a young one we’ve birthed here and are planning to sell once it’s four’, Willas explained.

‘I can stay home,’ Sansa suggested, ‘I was thinking about studying this afternoon anyways.’

‘Definitely not’, Margaery protested. ‘But I can’t take you. Artesia won’t be able to carry the weight. We’d need a bigger horse.’

Margaery looked up from her fruit salad, looking across the table. Garlan and Leonette grew quiet too.

Sansa looked across the table herself, finding Willas chewing his cheek.

‘I have the biggest horse. Widest loins and thickest cannon bones too. If I had to guess your weight I’d guess we’d still be underneath the twenty percent he should be able to manage with ease. However, riding with two isn’t ideal’, Willas mused, looking outside as if he could see his horse and weigh the pros and cons.

‘We’ll see if he takes two riders. Perhaps a practice round in the ring.’

The ring was an oval overcovered indoor dirt ring wherein the horses could walk during bad and cold weather. The ring itself was at least a century and a half old, back when the Tyrells were still professionally breeding horses. They’d lost interest in that but not their love of horses. They still used it, regularly training children and doing horse sessions with children with mental disabilities, one of Alerie’s projects, but they just used their own horses for it. Except Renly’s since he was young and temperamental. Born from a breeding mare and Loras’ horse.

Sansa watched Willas move the horse out of its stable. Truthfully the stables were stunning. Elegant woodwork, white stone walls and a smell of leather and hay gave a truly historical vibe to the place.

‘That’s a big horse’, Sansa couldn’t help but say as Willas led a huge thing out of the stable. It was high, and its legs couldn’t even be called elegant.

‘That’s what I said’, Willas grinned.

She couldn’t help but smile as he whispered to it, petting it’s manes with tender familiarity.

‘What’s his name?’

‘Chief’, Willas said, smiling at him as he led him away from the stables.

‘You had him long?’ she asked, falling in line beside him. She didn’t feel particularly eager to get right beside the intimidating horse, friendly as he looked.

‘About a year’, Willas replied softly.

‘Oh, that’s not all that long. You must have ridden before that. Did the earlier one die?’ she asked empathically.

‘No. Actually, Garlan’s horse died five years ago.’

She didn’t understand what that had to do with it, but she decided to nod anyways.

‘He was still waiting, processing it all, when my accident happened.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah. Apparently he’d taken to riding my horse, since the poor thing had gotten anxious because it had never not seen me for longer than two weeks. It wanted attention and love and I was in the hospital. Once I was back, it quickly became clear that I… wouldn’t be able to get back on. I spent time with her, still do, but decided to give her to Garlan. Then another horse was born. Climbing on was a pain. In the saddle I was fine for like fifteen minutes or so. But yeah, there was little I was able to do until last year.’

Now she felt bad for asking. Divert the topic away, her brain told her.

‘And now you got this big boy.’

‘Yup. Mom was thinking about adding a gentle giant to the stock. The kids love him’, he explained. ‘And I’m very glad I’m able to ride again as well.’

They’d arrived at the ring now.

‘Alright, how do we do this?’ Sansa asked, eying the horse. He’d saddled Chief already, adding something behind the saddle that would allow them to ride together. She was just an occasional rider, she was sure it had a word but she didn’t remember. She really should. Her family would beat her up for it.

‘I suggest I ride in the front. You’re the lightest so that means we are putting the heaviest weight where she can bear it best. And just in case the worst comes to happen – which it won’t – you’ll slide off the horse but I’ll still hold the reins in front.’

‘Very comforting’, Sansa smiled.

He threw her a smile over her his shoulder.

‘The alternative is me slipping and pulling on the reins, and both of us teetering off and the horse being either hurt, scared or very confused. Possibly trampling us.’

‘Ah. Hm. I guess me bruising my ass is preferable to that’, she agreed.

‘I’d rather spare your ass. It’s a pretty great one.’

Sansa gaped at him, her cheeks flushing with blood within seconds. Right, they could openly flirt now.

‘Thank you?’

‘You’re welcome’, he grinned before putting his real leg in the stirrups and hopping on, throwing his leg over with practised ease.

‘Right’, Sansa nodded, looking at the horse.

‘Come, you’re tall and long-legged enough to manage.’

‘I don’t know, it’s pretty high’, she muttered, coming closer. The horse moved a bit and Sansa took a step backwards.

‘Thought you’d ridden before?’ Willas asked.

‘Sure, on an old tame small mare. Alone. In an easy saddle with the stick-thing. No more than once a month when I still lived at home.’

‘A real professional, I hear’, he teased.

She rolled her eyes, putting her boot in the stirrup and pushing herself up.

‘There you go’, he encouraged, holding her as placed herself on the horse. It definitely didn’t feel like what she was used to.

‘You good, back there?’ he asked, trying to look over his shoulder.

‘Fine’, she replied, wrapping her arms around him.

This wasn’t so bad after all. She leaned closer, laying her cheek against his back. Not bad at all.

‘By all means, make yourself comfortable’, he laughed, repeating his joke.

‘Thanks, I will’, she giggled, sliding her hands to his front and back again. And then up and down his sides.

‘Right’, Willas coughed. ‘Let’s try this.’

The horse didn’t mind them at all, happily trudging through the dirt. With a slight tap of his foot, he picked up pace a little. It wasn’t bad by all means.

‘Good?’

‘Still comfortable’, she replied.

But damn, did she feel that movement _there_. And then there was his sweater smelling of his spicy perfume. And his heart beating underneath her hands.

‘This is going to be a long ride’, she muttered.

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing’, she rushed to say.

‘We won’t be long. It’s not ideal to ride with two people so I’d return home after maximum an hour and a half’, he replied. Apparently he hadn’t caught on to her reason for saying it.

They finished their round.

Willas went down first, careful not to kick Sansa as he slipped off. He put his arms around Sansa once it was her turn to get down. It startled the butterflies in her stomach to life. They hadn’t kissed yet today.

‘Oof, thank you.’

‘We should get our coats. It’s going to be pretty cold outside.’

‘Could always shove my hands under your shirt if they freeze’, she joked.

His eyebrows shot up, a laugh smothered in his throat.

‘And who will keep my hands warm?’

‘Guess you’ll have to wear gloves.’

‘So that’s how it’s going to be, a one-way street’, he joked.

She took his hands in hers, lifting them up to her mouth.

‘I can warm them before and after?’ she offered. Pressing her lips against one, then the other. Slowly. Deliberately. Keeping eye contact. ‘Kiss them until they’re alright again.’

Willas swallowed.

‘And if your face is cold, though I doubt that with that beard of yours, I’d simply…’

She leaned forward, pressing herself up on her toes to place her lips on his nose.

His hands wrapped around her waist, holding her in place.

‘And if my lips are cold?’ he asked, voice hoarse, as he lifted his face towards her.

‘I’d warm them too, I suppose, share the heat’, she replied, closing the inch of distance between them.

He pulled her closer, one hand coming up to her hair. She put her hands on him too. He wasn’t wearing wax in his hair today, and she relished in the airy feel of his curls. She ran her finger up and down the sides of his scalp, digging her nails in gently as she moved through his hair.

He hummed against her lips. ‘I could do this forever.’

She smiled, placing a small final kiss on his lips. ‘Unfortunately, we have to get our coats. You said so yourself.’

‘Mhm. One minute won’t make the difference’, he decided, closing the distance again.

‘Oh yes, this is very winter-y, isn’t it?’ Margaery asked, voice filled with contentment as their horses walked out of Highgarden down a hiking trail.

‘The sun, the snow, all of us together’, she prattled on. She rode beside Leonette, Willas and Sansa and Garlan right behind them.

‘You know, I think mom and dad are starting to catch on’, Garlan quietly informed them.

‘This is purely practical. We didn’t have enough horses’, Willas defended.

‘Yes, which is why they’re still waiting to see what happens. I bet you they’ll be asking it in subtle ways by New Year’, he grinned.

Sansa was about to protest against betting, her cheeks tingling with heat in the cold air, but Willas spoke sooner.

‘What are you betting?’

‘Willas!’ Sansa protested.

‘I don’t know. Thirty?’ Garlan offered.

‘You can’t bet with him on that’, Sansa explained. ‘He can totally name an earlier date and kiss me right in front of them then. He has fifty percent of the control over when they discover it.’

‘You’re preventing a man from earning some nice cash, Sansa’, Willas protested.

‘So, since you’re the other fifty percent… How can I bribe you?’ Garlan asked instead.

Sansa let out an exasperated huff, but that only made Willas and Garlan laugh.

The path was about to be enclosed on both sides by a line of trees, narrowing so it was impossible for two horses to ride beside each other.

‘Right, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone’, Garlan decided, spurring on his horse and moving in front of them to be closer to his fiancée.

‘You really do _all_ have a thing for betting, don’t you?’ Sansa sighed.

‘The natural extension of our competitive natures. We like being right and winning things, I’m afraid’, Willas chuckled.

‘You’re supposed to outgrow such things, you know?’ Sansa said.

‘One day, perhaps’, Willas agreed.

‘I hope it for all of you.’

‘Wanna bet I’ll be the first to outgrow them and Garlan last?’

She gave him a slap on the head.

‘Oi! It’s a bit early to start with domestic abuse.’

‘I-I wouldn’t’, Sansa immediately stammered. ‘Willas I wouldn’t. Ever.’

‘Hey calm down. I was only teasing, Sansa.’

‘Still. I’m really serious about that. If I ever pat you on the head and it actually hurts you must tell me.’

‘I wouldn’t even mind if you actually hit and hurt me… in the right context’, he laughed. ‘Are you alright? Did something happen?’

‘No… yes. Joffrey’, she sighed, dropping her head against his back. It connected with his vertebrae, hard. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine. Want to talk about it?’

‘Not really. But I suppose the short version is: It was the classic story of a fuckboy being sweet first and then quickly after starting to insult me and making me feel really self-conscious so by the time he got angry with me for the most stupid things I actually believed I provoked it and deserved it if he lashed out. Marg started passing by articles on gaslighting and abuse. And well, things ended eventually. But so yeah. I really don’t want to be on the other side of that kind of behaviour. I don’t want to hurt anyone.’

‘That dick’, Willas muttered. ‘Now I get why the others are so glad he’s in jail.’

‘Yeah, good thing’, Sansa laughed. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She could feel a hand on her leg, rubbing up and down softly.

‘The law gives everyone rights, even the worst kinds of criminals. So you don’t deserve any kind of cruel verbal of physical treatment, no matter how you act.’

‘I know. But it was hard. For a while. Telling myself I was worthy of being treated well. that I wasn’t just a stupid failure.’

‘I know just how that feels’, he admitted.

Sansa wrapped her arms around him a bit tighter, pressing her face in his coat

‘We both deserve to be happy. And loved’, she agreed.

Willas hummed in agreement, but it didn’t sound as convincing.

‘You do. Can’t believe nobody snatched you up before I did.’

‘Alright, I’m going to have to cut you off right there. Don’t flatter my ego to much, or it’ll bloat like the others’, he joked.

‘Bloat how much?’

‘Oh, an awful lot. Won’t be able to close my first few buttons anymore.’

‘Good. I don’t mind them being open’, she teased, sliding her hands to his stomach.

Willas groaned.

‘So much I won’t be able to fit through a door anymore with my big ego.’

‘I wouldn’t protest to you being stuck in the bedroom. Just lounging around there all day.’

‘Sure.’

‘Very sure’, she laughed, sliding her hands up to his chest.

‘Hm, in hindsight that does sound creepy and possessive. I’m not very possessive. Well, I do need some confirmation once in a while but I’d say I’m pretty chill.’

‘Must be that little bit of North in you, that’s chill’, he joked.

‘Probably’, she laughed.

‘You say you’re not possessive, yet you’re really clinging to me’, he joked.

‘That’s just self-preservation. Don’t want to fall off and damage the booty you admire so much.’

Willas laughed. She had to lift her face because he was shaking too much.

‘Valid point’, he agreed.

They grew silent then. Sansa laying her head back on his chest and admiring the view of the dark branches passing them against the backdrop of a pale blue sky with a white sun. she spotted some birds flying up, heard them chirping too.

The path gave way, and soon they were in the woods, able to ride two by two. Yet Garlan stayed with the girls, and the others remained behind them. She could hear the Mander rush from behind the trees. The woods probably weren’t far from the river.

She let out a contented sigh.

‘Enjoying the ride?’ he asked after a while.

‘Very. I can just look around for hours’, she smiled, watching some snow fall off a branch.

‘Nature lover?’

‘Very’, she admitted.

‘I love walks. Or just staring out of the window. Marge and I live in this lane overlooking a park. I deliberately sit in front of it when reading and working just so I can look up and stare out. And when it gets dark and I’m busy with something, I sometimes even put an ambience on with a nature backdrop.’

‘I was an outdoors kid too’, he said. She couldn’t see his face but she could hear the smile in his voice.

‘I actually wasn’t. Only when it snowed’, she admitted with a small laugh. ‘I’ve only come to appreciate it in recent years. I never really took time for things before. I was always busy. Learning ballet, doing embroidery, learning flute which I now hate, playing with dolls, seeing friends. Then studying and silly teenage stuff. You know. Always running, never breathing.’

‘Yeah. I know how that is’, he admitted. ‘What changed?’

‘Going home after a break-up and fearing my phone so much that the only things that helped were animated movies and walking and just… I don’t know. It was summer so it started with sitting outside and reading. Because like, you can’t just _be_ and do nothing right? Your mind just starts wandering and you feel like you’re wasting time’, she laughed.

‘But then as my mind grew more peaceful I started looking around. And taking breaks just lounging against a tree and listening to buzzing bees and birds and Rickon and Arya trying to drown each other in the pool.’

‘And then around August I started smelling a change in the air. Not bad though. And the nature started changing and… well. I found it easier to breathe outside. And I felt like my mind was clearer after being out for some time.’

Willas was quiet for some time. But she didn’t mind the silence. She hadn’t said anything awkward or bad. It was just her experience. She let out a soft sigh, glancing behind her to watch Mace almost sitting backwards in his saddle, explaining one thing or the other to Alerie.

‘I was an outdoors kid but life got in the way. Until I was literally forced to pause and take a backseat. Looking outside at the trees outside the hospital was one of the first things I actually enjoyed doing. I couldn’t stand the noise and light of the television at first. But looking outside, that was cool. Especially as you could just see the trees come alive, growing their big green foliage. And then the birds started building their nests, chirping. Sometimes chilling right in front of my window on the edge’, he said softly.

‘Having a bird right in front of your window feels like being chosen’, Sansa smiled.

‘Exactly. Back when I went home it was also summer. I started out sitting in the shade outside as well. Reading books. Which I admittedly had also done little of, except for uni, those years.’

Sansa paused. She’d gone home with her first broken heart, her confidence completely destroyed and her reputation in tatters after Joffrey’s campaign to ruin her name. How crazy was it that that same summer Willas had gone home as well, his confidence torn to shreds, isolated from his friends, reputation forever altered? She’d always felt understood by him. But she’d never known just how similar their paths had been.

‘Crazy coincidence’, she laughed.

‘I knew there had to be a reason why we always understood each other so well.’

‘Shared trauma?’ she teased, as if she wasn’t totally in shock that he’d had the exact same thought as him.

Willas laughed, and she relished in the feeling of his laugh, vibrating against her cheek.

‘Perhaps we should head back. We need to go easy on Chief over here’, he said, patting him.

‘It looks like the others are really enjoying themselves though’, Sansa mused. ‘And we haven’t been out that long.’

‘No. But they can stay if they want. We’re with two, so at least they won’t feel bad for us going back. It was just you remaining behind on your own that was quite sad. We can keep each other company’, Willas reasoned.

‘Ooh, the house all to ourselves’, she teased. ‘Do you have plans?’

Willas huffed a laugh.

‘Are you alright with leaving?’

‘Sure, lead the way soldier, I’ll follow.’

‘Does it count as following if we’re on the same horse?’ he questioned.

‘I’m a very persistent follower. Right on your heals’, she smirked.

Willas chuckled, halting his horse.

‘Everyone, Sansa and I will be heading back! We don’t want to exhaust Chief too much.’

Sansa smiled sheepishly as everyone pulled on their horses, turning to look at them.

‘If father’s horse can carry him, surely yours can carry two for a while longer?’ Garlan asked.

‘Garlan!’ Alerie scolded, but Sansa could hear Olenna sniggering in the back.

‘That while longer will be the road back. Mind, except for the rides I’ve done the past week he hasn’t seen much action past a few children’, Willas reminded his brother.

Everyone said their goodbyes, Willas ensured them they could continue their ride without feeling guilty, which all present heartily agreed to, and then Willas and Sansa retreated, the sound of happy chattering becoming more and more silent until the forest had swallowed the view and sound of them.

They rode back, Sansa treasuring the view as she leant against Willas, her hands unconsciously moving up and down his abdomen.

‘It’s really beautiful here.’

‘Better in summer.’

‘Definitely not, snow just adds this magical character to everything. This just feels like a magic faery woodland realm.’

‘Shouldn’t have expected another answer from you’, Willas chuckled.

‘Yeah that was definitely a mistake.’

Sansa shifted just as the horse lifted its feet. Her groin rubbed against the leather. Damn it. She pressed her head against his back. It was only day two. She’d never slept with someone within the first month. But then she’d always only recently met them while she’d known Willas for much longer.

She could feel her core burning, impatiently begging her to do _something_ about the whole situation. It had been years, and her body was ready for some action. Deciding that going underneath his clothes hadn’t gone well yesterday, but mindful of Margaery’s “make it alluring” comment, she slowly slid her hands across his chest until they rested on his hips. And then lower still, until they were on his thighs.

‘Those muscles are working’, she laughed breathlessly.

Willas shook his head.

She bit her lip, sliding her thumbs up. And down. And up. His legs twitched, not on the rhythm of the horse. She was doing something right. He wasn’t stopping her.

‘We’re in public’, he muttered.

‘Hm? What?’ she asked innocently.

She could feel him chuckling. So he didn’t mind.

‘I’m just holding on tight’, she continued, digging her fingers deeper into his skin.

‘Fuck it’, she heard him say. A second later they picked up pace.

‘Whoa!’

‘What, I thought you were holding on tight?’ he asked with the same innocent voice.

Sansa couldn’t help laughing as they moved through the gates of the family’s home. He hopped off, cold immediately rushing through her body, sending chills up her spine. He opened the gate with his key before he returned and guided the horse towards the stables.

Sansa swung her leg over the horse, moving to slide down when she felt Willas’ hands on her ribcage, steadying her as she slithered to the ground. She steeled herself against Chief. His hands remained still.

Her heart jumped. She’d provoked him, and now he had her cornered in a position she couldn’t escape from.

‘Tease’, he scolded. She could feel his lips against her ear.

‘Should I apologize?’ she asked softly.

His mouth moved down, one hand coming up to pull away the hair from her neck.

‘No, I’ll just exact my revenge.’

‘Here?’ she squeaked.

‘Here’, he decided, his beard tickling her neck.

Her eyes slipped shut.

He pressed featherlight kisses against her neck, brushing her scarf down with his nose. His hands brushed down her coat. It tickled a little, but she wore a thick sweater and a very thick woollen coat. too many layers.

Willas had apparently come to the same conclusion.

‘In hindsight, perhaps it’s best to postpone my vengeance until a further point in time.’

His hands disappeared and she turned around. His eyes were simply sparkling, even in the dim indoor light. He pressed a kiss against her lips.

‘That’s a promise.’

‘How exciting’, she smiled.

‘Now I’ll be preparing him for a nice quiet night in’, he nodded, taking the reins. ‘You can go back inside if you wish. We’re careless enough to leave the door unlocked.’

‘But not the gates?’

‘We hope the gates give a sign’, he smirked, unbuckling the saddle. ‘We’ve got cameras around the doors and windows.’

‘Oh dear, I never noticed before.’

‘Grade listed. Gotta keep it protected’, he explained casually. He shrugged off his coat and gloves. Although interested in Willas, she was also interested in exploring the stables, walking away to observe details, touch wood carvings. She halted in front of cubes of hay reaching up until the ceiling.

‘That just begs to be climbed’, she murmured.

‘By all accounts try, but I’m a bit too busy to catch you if you fall.’

‘Guess I’ll just have to not fall then’, she laughed.

She wasn’t going to give it a genuine try. But just standing on one and seeing what perspective it provided her couldn’t hurt. She took off her gloves, scarf and coat.

Perhaps she could go one higher. Ooh, she could glimpse into the separate spaces for all the horses. If it wasn’t for Willas in his modern dress, this really looked like a Targaryen Restoration era stable. She could be a princess, hopping in every day to flirt with the stableboy until her father married her off to some boring old lord. Willas would certainly make an excellent medieval horse whisperer. He just had that look.

‘Rhaepunsyl, Rhaepunsyl, let down your hair’, Willas joked after finishing up with the horse, coming to stand beneath the hay with his arms crossed.

‘What’s the secret password?’

‘I beg your pardon? Wasn’t that phrase the password?’

‘We’ve upgraded our security’, Sansa teased.

Willas laughed, rolling his eyes.

Okay, time to come down now. She climbed down one. Two. But then fate happened and her foot slipped off the flimsy inches of hay, right down into Willas’ arms. It wasn’t even a foot, but she was grateful for his catch nonetheless.

‘Thanks.’

‘I said I wouldn’t catch you’, he said, the corners of his mouth pulling into a smile.

‘Then why did you?’ she asked breathlessly, already lost.

‘Couldn’t let you get hurt. You need to be well for your exams.’

‘Oh thanks.’

‘I was actually thinking more about your professors. Having to correct a bad exam means they have to use a lot of red ink. Which is horribly wasteful. And they’ll spend a lot of attention to some answers that aren’t worth their time.’

‘Awh, how considerate’, she smiled.

‘I am very considerate.’

They paused, relishing in the tension that hung between them. Breathing in the anticipation. And then the rope snapped, and they were back to kissing. He pushed her against the hay, hands roving over her sweater. She pulled him closer by his hair, devouring his lips and tasting the cool skin of his cheeks, kissing his cold nose like she’d promised to do.

‘My hands are cold too’, he informed her as he inhaled the scent of her neck.

In a moment of bravery, she took his hands into her own, her thumb flicking over the golden ring on his ringfinger before guiding his hands down and placing them underneath her shirt.

They both gasped at the contact, she at the shock of cold and he at the hot skin.

Their kissing resumed, hungrily, as his fingers dug into her soft skin. The cold of his hands was soon swallowed by the waves of heat radiating from the fire within her.

His leg slid between hers at the same time his tongue sneaked between her lips. She allowed him entrance, pushing her breasts forward to gain more connection to him.

‘Gods above’, Willas muttered, hands growing impatient. She understood. It was entirely too much and too little at the same time. He trailed kisses down her neck. She let out a moan. She stilled. She hoped that wasn’t too loud.

Her ears registered the sound of the wind whispering through the cracks in the roof, the horse in the distance. All was safe. Then she was sucked back into her own body again and realized – her hands had slipped underneath Willas’ shirt again. But he hadn’t stilled this time. Perhaps the bed had been too much, given the context. This felt far less serious. She felt freer and less hesitant herself.

She happed for breath as his tongue tickled her neck.

‘Tease’, she shot back.

Willas laughed, pulling his head back.

‘Want me to stop?’ he asked.

‘Don’t you dare’, she threatened, pulling him in again by the hips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone, have nice holidays! If you gotta work or study in between: good luck, you're not alone.Take a few breaks in between to enjoy the season.
> 
> As always: like comment subscribe if you haven't yet (I sound like such a youtuber lol)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A girl is still in uni and needs to study.

_There is no mercy in this world,_ Sansa bemoaned as she rolled over to reach her phone.

It was the twenty-sixth of December and Sansa’s phone was ringing before her alarm was set. Reading the screen, her mom’s name glaring in bold white letters, she spotted the hour. Her mom had robbed her of half an hour of sleep.

‘Hello?’ she croaked.

‘Honey, are you still in bed?’ Catelyn Stark demanded to know.

‘Yeah mom. It’s eight thirty.’

‘I know. And it’s only two weeks before your first exam.’

Sansa pinched her nose, forcing herself to breathe in and out before she answered her mom.

‘Yes. I know. So… How is everyone at home?’ Sansa politely asked.

‘They’re fine.’

She didn’t elaborate. _Oh_ , Sansa realized, _this isn’t a social call_.

‘That’s nice’, Sansa replied.

‘I saw you were having a nice time yesterday. Arya showed me some pictures you and Margaery posted on Instagram yesterday.’

‘Oh.’

‘Went horse riding I saw. Was it fun?’ Catelyn asked, voice neutral.

She’d seen Margaery’s picture of her and Willas on the same horse, posing in front of the gate right before they’d left the previous day.

‘Yes. It’s been such a long time’, Sansa replied.

‘That man. That was him?’ she asked.

‘He was.’

‘You also sat on the same couch as him.’

That would be the group picture Sansa had posted when all the children had huddled up in the second living room to watch an animated movie and have a boozy bingo with it in the evening.

‘Yeah. That was him.’

‘He is very handsome.’

‘I know’, Sansa laughed, pressing her hand against her mouth.

‘So, I take it the situation changed then. Or are you this close to all men?’

‘Mother! No, it’s only him. And yes, things may have changed a little.’

‘A little?’ Catelyn enquired.

‘Alright. We’re dating.’

‘And what does that teach you?’

‘Uhm… Teach me?’

‘That all that worrying and overthinking doesn’t help you. I told you that unless he was an idiot, he’d realize your worth. Which relieves me.’

‘Yes mom.’

‘So I did some looking up’, her mother started.

‘What? Mom!’

‘What? A mother is allowed to show interest in her children’s lives. And after the last two –‘

Sansa sighed. She supposed she couldn’t have expected anything else.

‘I suppose it’s nice that he’s from good breeding, and a titled family as well but Sansa, you know I have always wanted for you to keep up the style of living you’ve grown up with but I don’t require you to. You don’t have to choose someone just because of their title. And a race car driver, Sansa? I expected such a thing from Arya, but not from you.’

Fair enough. Her mother had felt equally guilty for falling for Joffrey’s bloated lies and smiles. Her mother had been the snobbish type who expected Sansa to marry well and preferably prestigious. She’d seen it as a whole honour for her daughter to marry the blood of the former kings of Westeros. Of course, blood was meaningless without good breeding and Joffrey may as well have been raised by vultures and demons. Yet she felt irked that her mother supposed, based on his title and previous career, that she’d just gone for him based on his title. Like he was an asshole in a neat suit.

‘Why? What’s wrong with that?’

‘Well, I thought you’d left that kind of glitzy artificial empty world behind you.’

‘Well, so did he. He’s not in that world anymore. And even if he was, there’s good people in that world too. I’m sure.’

But she knew that was a useless argument. Her mother loathed the importance people hung to sportsmen. Despised shows like wags and Housewives of Oldtown. She found little honourable in earning money with your body like that, and considered them overpaid to boot, especially since what she considered refined sports like ballet and ice skating barely got any television time or funds. She believed the professional sports world existed of drugs, parties, sex and general debauchery. She wasn’t necessarily wrong, but it was horribly reductive.

‘I read more tabloid articles about the women on his side than of his racing achievements.’

Ah, yes. Sansa bit her lip. She should have seen that one coming. That wouldn’t have helped her preconceptions.

‘Well he doesn’t exactly choose his headlines, does he?’

‘Honey, are you sure though? I see he changed jobs. And I certainly don’t look down on independent business owners and I must appreciate how quickly he’s built his business but… Men like that, they rarely change. Fast cars, parties, women.’

‘He’s not like that though. Maybe he still loves his fast cars but… I mean, nothing wrong with that right? I told you two days ago what he was really like.’

‘Hm.’

‘I’m the first woman he’s dated in five years. Is that telling enough?’ Sansa asked, knowing that would convince her mother.

‘Oh’, her mother mumbled. She could just imagine her mom’s face, confused, trying to put all the pieces of information together and reordering them.

‘Are you sure? Did he tell you this?’

‘No, actually. His family teased him for being single for too long. And Garlan, the second oldest brother, has a girlfriend called Leonette… Well a fiancée now. They’ve been together for almost a decade. She told me she could recount Willas’ full dating history. He hasn’t seen anyone. He tells his brother everything.’

She could leave out that one failed date, it didn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.

‘Oh. So he’s good friends with his brother?’

‘They’re all super tight. Even more than we are I’m afraid. We could learn something from them’, Sansa chuckled.

‘That’s good. You can tell a lot about a man from the way he treats his family.’

‘Yeah. He really loves them. He once said that he believes his family to be the most important people in his life.’

He hadn’t said that exactly, but he’d insinuated something along those lines. Sansa waited, smiling, waiting for her mother to start approving of Willas, knowing that valuing family was the golden ticket to being liked by Catelyn Stark.

‘I started fearing that breed of men had died out.’

‘So did I’, Sansa admitted. ‘So… Want to have this conversation again? Politely this time, instead of insinuating I’ve once again gone for a vapid pretty boy with a nice surname despite what I told you?’

‘He sounds very nice, Sansa. I hope he stays the way we believe him to be.’

She supposed the instant approval of her boyfriends by her mom couldn’t keep on going. She’d picked two assholes, this one would have to prove himself to be good. But he would.

She realized her mother hadn’t been as critical on the day of Christmas Eve. But then Sansa had been very insecure and Catelyn had been more occupied with trying to fix her daughter’s bad confidence and anxiety. That was Catelyn Stark. First tackling one issue, and then the next. She didn’t critique Willas until he actually was close to her daughter.

‘I hope so too. But I think he will.’

‘Your sister wants to talk to you’, Catelyn said.

‘Alright, pass her along. Bye mom. I love you.’

‘Love you too honey. And try to get some studying done. Those grades will always be there for you.’

‘I know.’

‘Yo ho ho’, Arya greeted her.

‘Hi Arya.’

‘Thanks for the watch. Does it really work under water?’

‘I do hope so. I read about a hundred reviews and everyone claims to be happy with it’, Sansa replied, smiling.

Of course Arya would start about the presents. Sansa had given up her home address for all her Christmas gifts so she wouldn’t have to drag them all on the train with her. She decided that everyone could have their gift, but unable to package them the mail boxes had ended up underneath the tree. Not pretty, and not the way she’d desired, but she was glad she could give them their presents and be there in a way.

‘It’ll be nice to be able to keep track of time and my laps in the pool.’

‘I know, that’s why I bought it. You complained about it once.’

‘I really don’t know how you keep track of such things. I pull out my hair every December.’

‘Keeping it in a book every time someone says something helps.’

‘Like I’ll bother with that’, Arya scoffed.

‘Then you’ll keep struggling every December’, Sansa decided.

‘So… I couldn’t help but overhear… Carboy is in?’

Sansa sighed, rolling her eyes.

‘Yeah, carboy is in’, Sansa laughed.

‘Wicked. Hey, would he consider giving Gendry classes? He’s been kind of into amateur racing but he’s a total noob. Turns out speeding on empty highways in average cars at three am isn’t the same as having to take turns and neck breaking speed.’

‘I don’t think that’s either smart or legal’, Sansa said.

‘Yeah yeah. But whether the law says no or not doesn’t change the fact he did that lots of times. I always told him that if the cops take him, that’s on him and he don’t need to come crying. He’s old and wise enough. If he wants to be stupid I’m not going to waste energy on stopping him. If he learns, he learns. If he doesn’t he doesn’t. So anyways, would he?’

‘Gee, I really don’t know.’

‘Can he still drive?’

‘Uhm. He drives. But I don’t know what kind of cars or anything.’

‘Bran can drive. Says nothing about whether he’s using his legs.’

‘I never asked. And I don’t really want to ask such things yet.’

‘Why not?’

Sansa bit her lip.

‘Does it matter? Whether he does or doesn’t drive with his legs is irrelevant as to whether he’d be able to teach Gendry. He still knows how everything works’, Sansa shot back.

‘I’m not saying he has to teach him now, it’s lockdown. But why wouldn’t he in the future?’

‘You’re specifically talking about riding on tracks?’

‘Yeah, duh. Gendry can drive a normal car.’

‘Arya, he could have died in such a location a few years ago. He lost his career. I don’t know if he would want to go back to such a place again.’

‘Won’t it be nostalgic?’

‘I personally think it would be a sour reminder of what he lost.’

‘Awh’, Arya responded. She could just imagine her sister’s face scrunching up in disappointment.

‘That sucks.’

Sansa didn’t know what to reply. Personally she found it quite presumptuous of Arya to think Sansa could just ask someone she was together with for a day to teach her boyfriend how to drive. Especially since said person was half a realm removed, had a fulltime job, and a very good reason to not want to do that.

‘Well, that plan crashed and burned’, Arya complained. ‘Oh. Oh shit. Fuck. Uhm. No pun intended’, Arye said.

Sansa’s hand connected with her face with a most audible slap. She would keep Willas away from Arya for at least a year. She was sure he was far from ready for those kinds of jokes.

‘Tasteless Arya, really.’

‘I didn’t intend to. Really.’

‘It being unintentional doesn’t make it any less tactless or tasteless, Arya.’

‘Stop sounding like mom. It was a mistake alright? Okay but so, even if he doesn’t race, he’s still down to like, just hang out and perhaps talk to Gendry over some beer about it right? Like maybe –‘

‘Arya we’re only dating and it hasn’t even been a full forty-eight hours. I’m not going to agree with anything. Perhaps he will, perhaps he won’t. We’ll see. But do not expect anything before June.’

‘June? But that’s half a year.’

‘He’s my boyfriend. Not yours. You waited two years to introduce Gendry to mom and dad.’

‘Yeah, but I’m me. I was young, he was young-ish. We started out as fuckbuddies. That’s not the kind of relationship to rush. And we fought all the time in the beginning. You’re like… You never date casually. And you’re older. So like, you introducing him within the year would be far less strange.’

‘I don’t even know whether we will have arguments in the beginning since we’ve only been going for two days. We don’t even have a thing to fight about yet, like leaving socks beside the laundry basket or whether the sheets are supposed to be tucked in at the end of the bed or loose’, Sansa pointed out.

‘So you haven’t fucked him yet?’

‘Arya!’

‘What? I wouldn’t blame you. He looks kinda hot.’

‘That’s not what I want to hear from my sister.’

‘I’m not saying I’ll be stealing him. I don’t fuck with taken men. Who do you take me for? Ancestor Lyanna?’

‘No’, Sansa sighed.

‘If you want I can call him ugly?’ Arya suggested, voice full of mischief.

‘No, thank you.’

Sansa took a deep breath.

‘I’d really like a cool brother-in-law.’

‘We’re barely together.’

‘Yeah, but three times charm, right? You kissed two frogs, now it’s finally time for your prince from the songs you were so obsessed with.’

‘I do hope so, I’m tired of looking for boyfriends and getting my heart broken if I’m honest.’

‘So are we, you’re always a mess after a break up.’

‘Thank you Arya, I always feel so understood and supported.’

‘No problem.’

‘You bitch’, Sansa laughed. ‘You don’t even know him. You just assume he’s cool because he rode flashy cars. I think you’ll find him boring.’

‘He has got to at least be interested in cars and sports’, Arya shot back.

‘Oh yes, and the economy and politics and history and astronomy and ornithology.’

‘Orniwhatthefuck?’

‘Birds.’

‘You’re dating a hot version of Grandpa Hoster? But.. what?’ Arya asked.

Sansa laughed as her sister failed to unite her image of the cool sport’s legend with Willas. And then her laugh grew thin, realizing that that was how most people saw Willas, and expected him to be. Poor Willas, always expected to be a certain someone.

‘He’s got layers, like an onion’, Sansa answered, her voice dead serious.

Arya huffed a laugh.

‘You’re ridiculous.’

‘At least we have one thing in common’, Sansa shot back.

‘Do you have any interest in me? Or did you just want to talk to me to ask whether you could borrow my boyfriend for your own means?’

‘I do, but it’s not my fault your love life is the most interesting thing about you now. Listen lemoncakes, I got pictures of everything you ate and everything you did, so what use is it asking about that? I just immediately asked for the behind the scenes. I know the rest.’

‘You didn’t ask anything about the behind the scenes, you just straight up talked about what Willas could do for Gendry!’

‘Nonsense’, Arya tutted. ‘Learned a lot. I know you barely know a practical thing about him like how he drives, how he likes to sleep. I know you haven’t hit second base yet –‘

‘How –‘

‘Because you wouldn’t cry my name so prudishly like I said something offensive if you had. You’d stutter and blush.’

‘You little –‘

‘And your boyfriend is actually the perfect kind of boring settled man you’ve always wanted so despite his hot looks and promising past he actually fits you and you’re probably going to end up marrying him.’

‘You’re assuming way too much.’

Sansa made a mental note to never put Arya and Margaery together. Or Sansa would be telling her grandchildren the story of a lockdown wedding after a historically short courting period.

‘You wanted to marry and have a child before you turned thirty. A pregnancy takes nine months and you need to know a guy at least a year before you have a baby together so that means you have until your twenty-eighth birthday to find someone. You’ve got four years left. That ain’t that much time.’

‘Arya!’

‘I’ll eat my left shoe if I’m wrong.’

‘Why not your right one?’ Sansa laughed.

‘Because I stepped in a turd when we went out walking’, Arya laughed.

‘Eww gross!’

‘Hey, you asked’, Arya laughed.

‘Having fun over there, are we?’

‘Oh lots. Shit, mom’s coming in again. She’ll probably nag until I’m in my room studying’, Arya sighed.

‘Anyways, blabla wish you were here. Hopefully we’ll have a normal Christmas next year and then you can bring your boytoy too. Good luck studying et cetera et cetera. Bye.’

‘Bye Arya’, Sansa laughed.

Sansa slumped back into bed, looking up at the wooden beams of the ceiling, tracing the patterns. Arya was just incorrigible. She shouldn’t let her questions and comments get to her. Instead, she should follow her mom’s advice and focus on her studies. She’d spent two days without reading a single page. Now it was time to get back to business.

Her alarm went off, still a Christmas song. She wiped it away.

Fine. Wake up time it was.

Willas wasn’t at breakfast, actually, no one was. The early birds were done and the late ones weren’t up yet. So she shoved some leftover buns with chocolate paste and smoked salmon in her mouth before making herself a cup of tea and going upstairs.

She’d already done fifteen pages by the time Margaery knocked on her door, asking if she’d join her for breakfast. Deciding she deserved a break and another cup of tea, she joined her downstairs. As she walked past the living room she spotted Garlan and Leonette cosying up on the couch together, watching a children’s movie while Loras and Renly were playing cyvasse over breakfast.

Margaery told her about her nightmare, startling awake when she overslept for an exam in her dream. Sansa could sympathize, she’d had her fair share of the exact same dream.

‘Guess it’s a sign’, Margaery mused, moving over to the fridge on her tippy toes, lifting her leg as she dipped to pick the can of whipping cream and turning around with a pirouette. Sansa smiled, just like Margaery to randomly indulge in a bit of ballet. She bourréed towards the table, topping her coffee with a healthy – or rather unhealthy actually – dose of whipping cream. Plopping down on her seat, she put whipping cream on her bread as well before topping it with some strawberry slices.

‘I’ll be full nerd mode until New Year’s Eve. Diamonds are made under pressure, right?’ Margaery grinned before biting down.

‘True’, Sansa nodded.

Margaery thought about afternoon and evening activities but Sansa said it would depended on how much work she had left and how much drive she had. If she was going strong, she’d rather keep on going so she could have some more wiggle room the next day.

Once Margaery was done they moved upstairs, wishing each other luck before moving into their rooms. They couldn’t be trusted to focus in the same room together. And if they had to at their little flat, they had a strict no talking policy, since it would always derail into a long conversation and both of them had enough trouble focussing as is.

At four her sweet tooth started aching and her focus was at a critically low level, so she agreed to play a game with the others downstairs. Willas was reading another book in the living room when she came down. This one appeared to be of the fiction kind. But he magnanimously agreed to play the game with the others.

Sansa was put in charge of the bank, since she was considered least likely to cheat. And to be honest, ending second-to-last proved that if Sansa had cheated, she was horribly bad at it. The setting didn’t really allow her to talk to Willas much, and the game had lasted over two hours, which was horrible for Sansa’s schedule. She got another five pages done before dinner, but overall she still had quite some work to get through before the day was over.

Plopping down on her desk chair after dinner, staring at her writing, flowers and hearts doodled in the margins, she ruefully regretted the timing of her love life going out of hibernation. She wanted to enjoy her new relationship to the fullest, but her courses were cockblocking her. It was incredibly cruel. She used her anger and frustration to plod her way through the information dense pages. Then, she told herself, she could reward herself by taking time off and treating herself to some time with Willas and the others. The chapter dragged on, the words all hard terminology and in her opinion archaic sentence structure.

She blinked, tapping her pen on her notebook.

Just read it again.

Right, right… right… uhm… was that connected to the thing she’d seen five pages ago? She thumbed back to that page. Yes. That fit.

Now moving on. She’d _definitely_ seen that word before. Fuck. Where? She checked the list she kept of every term, name and theory she encountered. It wasn’t on it. Crap. Had she missed it before? Perhaps google would help…

The word didn’t exist.

_Was that even possible?_

Perhaps it’s a very obscure term only academics of the field use, she reasoned. She started looking at academic journals online, searching for the term. Nope.

Never mind then.

She read on. And on. And on.

Wait a fucking minute. _No way_.

That was a sentence of a page and a half!

Had she missed a dot? She looked it over again. Checked it once, checked it twice. Nope, it really was a page and a half, with sixteen commas. She rolled her eyes. Actually, given the way he talked during the online classes, inserting seven subordinate clauses and then moving away from the initial point of his sentence to start explaining something else entirely, not even coming back to the original topic half an hour later… she shouldn’t be surprised. Yet.

This was the fifteenth print. And over five hundred pupils took this course each year. You’d think some editor would have spotted that by now.

She groaned, dropping her head in her hands. It was already past nine. At this rate, she’d be done by eleven thirty. Would the others even still be up then?

She was disrupted from her self-pity by a knock on her door.

‘Yes?’ she asked.

The door didn’t move. Odd, Margaery would already be in by now.

‘Come in.’

The door creaked open. Willas appeared, two cups in one hand and a book clenched underneath his armpit.

‘Oh. Hi’, Sansa stammered, immediately pulling her very charming reindeer hairband off. The ugly Christmas sweater and penguin pyjama pants couldn’t be helped.

‘How’s it going?’

‘Oh, it’s… Well, it’s not bad but I’m really slow. It’s not at all going as fast as I wanted’, she smiled, raking a hand through her hair to put it in place.

‘There are a lot of things worse than slow progress’, Willas said.

Sansa was smacked in the face by that sentence. It was thrown around so often in their house it had become the equivalent of the ancient “Winter is coming” that was written above their family crest in the great hall. Ever since Bran had his accident and started therapy that had really become their go-to for everything. First because Bran and mother were worried and frustrated with the pace of his healing and learning. Then it started being thrown around whenever Arya was struggling with learning a new sport that had caught her fancy because she immediately wanted to rock. And then her mother started using it whenever Sansa panicked about her grades and accomplishments. And she’d even heard Robb saying it to dad when dad grew frustrated with the time and amount of complications certain parts of running Winterfell took.

It was probably one of those staple sentences every therapist used.

‘I know. I’ll be fine. Just got to soldier on’, Sansa replied.

‘I uhm, I was just wondering. All the others were trying to get me to join one of their games. Decided to retire upstairs for some peace but I wondered if perhaps… You’d like some company? Supposed it’d be better than both of us being alone in our rooms. I won’t be a bother, I’m a quiet reader.’

Sansa climbed out of her chair halfway through his speech.

‘Of course. Truth be told I felt quite bad about not being able to join you all today.’

‘Missed us?’

‘A little bit’, she admitted with a smile.

‘I uhm… thought you could use some tea?’ he offered.

‘Oh. Yes thank you. I’ve been punishing myself by forbidding myself to fetch another cup. At least until I finished the next three pages.’

‘Oh, did I ruin your punishment?’ he teased.

‘No it’s very welcome’, she said, accepting the tea. ‘My hands always get dreadfully cold while studying.’

She lifted herself unto her toes, pressing a kiss against his lips.

‘You’ll have to sit a bit away from me though. Or I’ll have trouble focussing.’

‘Am I distracting?’

‘Oh, very much’, she grinned.

When he pressed his lips against her she could feel his smile.

‘Where do you want me then?’

Sansa pointed at the comfy chair and her bed, a safe couple of foot away from her desk.

‘Alright, ma’am.’

‘Oh’, she said as he walked away. The sound of turning pages, scribbling, wind and cat purring was registered by her ears again.

‘I usually listen to a little ambient noise while studying. And sometimes when I get really tired or struggle with a definition I talk to myself’, she worried.

Willas shot her a soft smile. ‘That’s fine, I’ve been reading to the lovely background noise of my grandmother and mother arguing for days. I think I can handle it.’

‘There’s a difference between handling things and not minding or liking them.’

‘In that case: I won’t mind. I’ve spent the majority of my life in a noisy household. I’m perfectly indifferent to it now.’

‘Alright.’

She would be lying if the sight of Willas in the chair near her bed didn’t make her stomach flutter as she sat down again. He just looked so soft and tempting in his soft sweater, sat in the plush chair with a book and a pensive expression.

She couldn’t help but let her eyes flutter to him from time to time. She was very aware of whenever he moved positions. And even once registered the sound of him brushing his teeth when he went to their joined bathroom. She feared he’d come in announcing he’d retire, but fortunately he came back, installing himself on her bed. He took off his sweater, which did prompt Sansa to drop her work for a couple of minutes to luxuriate in a kiss with perhaps a bit longer exploration of his chest and arms with her hands than she should have allowed herself. Especially since she was about to miss her self-imposed deadline of finishing work before eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to incporate a bit of book Catelyn's practical mind. I always loved Catelyn, in my opinion she's a very layered figure. I can definitely imagine her being very kind and understanding to Sansa after all she's been through during her break-ups and so on. While at the same time she can be tough and even cold, effortlessly able to switch between all her modes depending on what her kids need. I also imagine her as a bit more mellow since well, this isn't the Westerosi equivalent of the middle ages, she isn't the wife of the ruler of the north and Jon is 100% the recognised son of Ned's sister. So much of the saltiness and hate is gone too.
> 
> Also I will admit I'm not the most knowledgeable on Arya's character but I can 100% see her being tired of Sansa's stupid boyfriends and being blunt and teasing all the time. That's sibling dynamic for me, the younger ones always ready to get underneath the older one's skin and the older ones always being tired and having a quick retort in return. I'm writing Arya 100% as my own annoying tomboy sister :p
> 
> The page and a half long sentence in a book that was on its fifteenth print in a class taken by five hundred pupils is one hundred percent real and taken from one of my own first year of History classes in university. And yes, that book also included words that really didn’t exist. The professor also really spoke like that, which was very confusing, especially given his classes started at 8.30 and I was never truly awake then. He’s still a total boss in his field, champ and sweetheart though, retired last month. Consider this a roast-y tribute.
> 
> Also: this chapter was originally 7800 words before I decided to split it in two. Stay tuned for what happens after she's done studying for the day ;)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post this but... We can all use some fluff, no? 
> 
> 26th of December, part 2.

Finally, at twenty before twelve, she closed her eyes, a relieved sigh slipping from her lips. It was over. She’d hit the mark of her best-case-scenario studying plan of the day. Now she could have a more peaceful day tomorrow. She rubbed her eyes. They stung like a bitch from keeping them open for so many hours in the artificial light.

She turned around, stretching her arms, and found Willas asleep on her bed. One arm propped under his head and another right beside the book that had fallen shut.

He looked… adorable. Simply adorable.

She moved over, kneeling down in front of the side of the bed where he’d fallen asleep. She traced a finger across the fine hairs on his forearm. Now that he was asleep she stole a look of his tattoo. She didn’t feel bad about it now. He’d given her permission to watch by being in a t-shirt. The letters were big and bold, yet still had some elegant otherworldly aspect. Only in one spot, in a curly open letter, she spotted the straight line of what must have been a part of the date of his first victory. You had to look really close.

She looked up at his face again, relaxed and sleeping, his curls slightly frizzy from rubbing them. She gently touched them, he stirred in his sleep, humming softly.

Oh, she couldn’t wake him.

She rose and collected her nightgown and clicked out the light in the bedroom. She washed, brushed her teeth, and did her skincare routine before returning to her bedroom. Still no movement.

 _What the hell_ , she reasoned, moving over to the other side of the bed and crawling underneath the sheets. She gently lifted the duvet on her side, laying it over Willas as a blanket, covering his body while refraining from touching his legs. He still had his shoes on.

 _Whatever,_ it was a duvet, it wasn’t like he was under the sheets with them. She wouldn’t wake him up to the weird act of her pulling off his shoes. Especially since, well, one of his legs was probably a hard limit.

She snuggled up close behind him, wrapping an arm around his chest and breathing him in. The scent of dry vanilla mixed in wonderfully with his natural scent. Manly. Joffrey had always smelled like harsh deodorant and Harry had always smelled like his soft deodorant.

Was this a Willas thing or a regular grown-up man thing, really smelling like something? Sansa idly wondered.

She rubbed her thumb up and down his chest, letting out another sigh. This was nice. Finally having someone to hold.

Her limbs quickly grew as heavy as her tired eyelids. Willas hummed, turning around in his sleep and throwing an arm over her. Sansa froze, waiting for further moves. None came.

With no small amount of effort she pulled her eyes open again, watching his face from up close. A grin grew on her face. Unable to resist, she stole a quick kiss, and was surprised by his response. He must be somewhere on the far end of falling asleep. She revelled in having his arm around her and snuggled closer to his chest. It didn’t bother her at all that they had so many layers between them. It had been years since she’d been held. This felt delightfully comforting.

Her mind quickly relaxed, unable to worry or overthink their interactions now that he was right beside her. Rubbing soft circles on his chest with her fingers, she quickly sank away into a peaceful sleep.

Something shot away beside her, causing Sansa to fall onto the mattrass. The sound of a gasp catapulted her into an immediate confused state of alertness although the darkness still pulled at the edges of her mind.

‘What is – ‘

‘What time is it?’ Willas asked, panting.

Sansa rubbed her eyes, but they were still blurry as she opened them. Willas sat beside her, chest heaving as he tampered with his watch. It lit up softly.

‘Crap’, he cursed.

‘What is it?’ Sansa asked, scooting closer until she leaned against his shoulder.

‘I fell asleep.’

‘Yeah. I didn’t want to disturb you’, she muttered. A yawn interrupted her. She lazily covered her mouth. ‘Why?’

Willas said nothing, and Sansa’s eyes fell shut again, her balance waning now that the shot of adrenaline was wearing off.

‘I just… need to…’ Willas started, holding her up with his hands. She took the que and held herself upright as he moved his lower legs over the edge of the bed.

‘Fuck.’

Sansa rubbed her eyes, looking at his movements. He pushed himself up by her matrass, cursing again as he stood. She precepted another small movement before he sat down again.

‘Fuck. No.’

‘What is it?’ she asked, worry slowly seeping into the part of her mind that was conscious.

‘It’s…’

He sighed.

‘It’s my leg. I’m supposed to charge it at night. The battery is drained.’

‘Oh.’

‘And that thing in itself is just dead weight.’

That activated Sansa’s mind.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I should have awoken you and given you a choice. What do I need to do?’

She knew that was the better question, years of living with Bran had taught her that a: ‘Can I do anything?’ got a negative answer much more often.

Willas shook his head.

‘Fuck’, he moaned, leaning on his elbows and supporting his head by both hands.

Her mind gave another sign of life. Presenting her another clear thought.

‘Want me to help you to your room or do you want me to get you the charger?’

Willas let out a sigh, she could vaguely hear him mutter a question about things being the way they were before she saw him nodding, lifting his head.

‘I think fetching the charger would be best. I don’t think it would be wise to start hopping around with a dead weight around my leg or having you support me when you’re not used to it.’

‘Alright. Just tell me where it is’, she said, secretly happy that then at least she would have a chance to not let the night end awkwardly. Or so she hoped.

‘It’s right beside my bed in the power socket.’

‘Okay’, she promised, pressing a kiss against his cheek before slipping out of bed.

‘And perhaps… there’s a black band on the bed on top of the sheets. Could you bring that as well?’

‘Sure. Anything else?’

‘No.’

She could hear another sigh as she left through their bathroom.

That wasn’t perfect.

She could almost beat herself for selfishly keeping him in her bed without his consent. She’d thought it had been cute and pleasant, and now she’d ran straight into a wall, having him waking up panicked and vulnerable without his working leg.

He literally amputated the thing so he could be independent again and move without pain, and now you made him something he didn’t want to be. Nice move Stark. Doom thoughts of him closing up again as had happened in the past and as Margaery had told her he used to do popped up.

She switched on the light, quickly finding the black shrinker and the charger. She shut off the light and hopped back into her room. She clicked on the bedside lamp, handing him what he’d requested.

‘Here.’

Deciding any further attention probably wouldn’t sit well, she went for a quick bathroom break, allowing him all the privacy she could allow him. Coming out she kept her eyes to the floor and crawled back to her side of the bed. Her guilt told her to sit beside him and wait awkwardly for his disapproval and conversation. But she knew that if it was awkward for her, it would definitely be for him. He had chosen to stay here, after all, and that told her that it couldn’t be as bad as her brain was making it. Because otherwise, he’d be far away from her. She laid down and turned to her side.

She could hear him sighing as he moved on his side, before the light went out, and the room became quiet.

Her legs tingled, her heart beating with anxiety.

The silence stretched for too many cursed minutes, but eventually, he broke it.

‘You didn’t know’, he decided.

‘I could have woken you up.’

‘You didn’t know you needed to.’

‘It’s polite.’

Willas huffed a laugh.

One of Sansa’s legs spasmed.

She cursed internally. _Not now. Not now, please,_ she begged her legs. Her leg spasmed again as if it had only now remembered it could do that. She dug her heels into the matrass, but the annoying tingling soon became unbearable, and her knee muscles contracted again, this time in both of her legs.

‘I’m sorry’, she sighed. ‘Oh, I didn’t have it earlier tonight.’

‘Have what?’

‘I call it impatient legs. Sometimes they just get restless. It’s better when I move around a lot, but it can still happen. I’m sorry I condemned you to a shitty sleeping arrangement.’

‘Hey, I chose to stay’, he protested, rolling over. There was still a lot of blanket between them. he was practically on the totally opposite side of the bed.

‘I’m sorry I made you.’

 _Heavens Sansa, get a grip_ , her rational brain scolded.

 _No, no. He’s going to run away just like Harry and Joffrey,_ her panic screamed.

‘I’ll try to keep it to a minimum. And on my side’, she promised.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, the heavy weight calling her back to earth.

‘Relax. I have it too sometimes. Although, I believe you don’t qualify for phantom pain.’

‘No, I just qualify as being a pain in the ass’, she mumbled.

What was she even doing, complaining about stupid muscle spasms in her two functioning limbs to an amputee? _Spoiled stupid little girl._

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I’m suspecting this isn’t a me-thing’, Willas reasoned.

Sansa paused.

The hand on her shoulder applied pressure. ‘Is it?’

Her brain stilled.

Finally, she turned her head towards him.

Was it a him problem? Had he said something negative?

No.

He’d even told her he had it himself sometimes.

Oh. That was a first.

‘No. I guess not. Though I wouldn’t blame you if you disliked it. It’s annoying, even for me. Joff hated when it happened, he said I ruined his focus for the whole day and robbed him of hours of sleep due to my _“stupid fidgeting”._ But that was better than Harry. I think we slept together maybe ten times? Oftentimes… he just slept with me and went home afterwards’, she admitted. ‘He was a sportsman you see, he really needed his sleep to excel the next day.’

She drew a shaky breath, but it did help to calm her.

She’d never told anyone. Why she decided to tell the person she was dating that she was a real pain to sleep with, she didn’t know. She was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to draw attention to your bad sides while dating.

She could hear a soft sigh, followed by rustling sheets. And then Willas’ warm arm drew her in.

‘Listen… they should have been grateful to have you in their beds. You were too good for them. If they couldn’t take that one little thing you couldn’t even control, they were the assholes. Not you.’

She buried her face in his t-shirt, cringing as her leg twitched again. But the movements were growing irregular again as she was calming down.

‘I suppose I… was just so happy to finally hold someone… I greedily took it.’

‘By all means, greedily hug me’, he allowed.

‘You really are fine, right?’ she begged.

He gently stroked the back of her head, his strokes lowering her heartbeat with every passing second.

‘Not really’, he admitted after a while. ‘It’s been quite a while since I shared a bed. Never allowed anyone in my room.’

‘Well, that makes two of us feeling awkward right now then. I’d say that if you allow me my twitches, you must allow me to return the favour without issue.’

He huffed another laugh. ‘Yeah.’

‘Not convinced that it’s fine, right?’ she teased.

‘No.’

‘Nor am I’, she admitted. 

She pressed soft kisses against his neck.

It were only issues in their heads. And they wouldn’t just disappear. But tonight they had talked instead of shutting down and melting into pools of embarrassment. That was progress. And perhaps being together would stay more tempting than being in their comfort zones. There was a truth to what Margaery had said.

She wanted nothing more than to shy away and hide her bad points from Willas. But she couldn’t draw away when he held her like that, his hands calmingly stroking her hair. Their legs were both turned away from them, their feet remaining at the outer sides of the bed, but they were together.

She hummed, her eyes slipping close as she laid her arm around him.

‘I do love holding you’, she mumbled, snuggling closer.

She didn’t register what Willas responded as she slipped away.

Sansa awoke cosy and warm, her body still heavy with sleep. She knew the night had given way to the morning, as her eyelids were a certain shade of nude instead of black now. She arched her back to be closer to the source of warmth beside her, and smiled when the heat source held her tighter. She cuddled his arm.

They had made it through the night. She’d expected it would take them weeks, or even more realistically, months, to get there. She was beyond ecstatic.

Willas’ thumb moved, tracing languid circles on her chest. Her heart stumbled. She arched her back, pressing her breasts up to meet his hand. He wordlessly obliged, moving his hand to the side , circling her breast on top of her nightgown. She let out a contented sigh.

She had been denied an intimate embrace for so long. Being reminded how it felt now, she was sure it would drive her mad to be without it for five years like Willas had.

The matrass dipped at her shoulder, and no sooner had Willas repositioned himself than he was placing soft kisses on her neck. His thumb flirted with the lace edge of her nightgown, right above her breast, stroking her hot skin.

Sleepy and content, there was little room for anxiety in her mind as she guided his hand upwards, to the skin of her chest before dragging his hand down, pushing her nightgown aside so his hand came to rest on her bare breast.

She could hear his intake of breath. And maybe he was looking at her from over her shoulder, maybe it was just because of the sensation of skin contact they hadn’t had in so long, but she couldn’t care to verify the nature of his gasp, keeping her eyes closed and humming contentedly as his thumb continued its massage of her breast, rolling over the sensitive flesh, moving over it like a pendulum once. Twice. Thrice. And then fully around.

She slowly rolled onto her back. Her eyes fluttered open. Taking in the chocolate and caramel hair and dark eyes she couldn’t help but smile, her hand reaching out to touch his face with fondness. His hand stilled as she drew him in, pressing a kiss against his lips.

He answered her slowly, bending over to her ever so slightly. Her other hand reached out to touch the muscle of his arm, finding his skin as hot as hers.

Was he burning for her too?

Hungry for him, she turned on her side to face him. He deepened their kiss, opening his lips against hers. With more freedom of movement she now reached out, tracing his side, and then following the slope of his shoulder to his back, drawing herself closer against him. They were touching chest to chest now, the only thing keeping them apart being his hand on her breast.

The butterflies added more logs to the fire in her belly.

They hadn’t even spoken this morning. Yet she felt that their bodies were slowly taking down walls their words had failed to get through. Her leg itched to wrap itself around his, but she decided against it, curling her legs away from their bodies to resist temptation.

Willas drew back, letting himself slowly fall on his back. It was the most vulnerable position he’d put himself in yet. Sansa bit her lip as he stretched out his arm, inviting her to lay against his chest. She wasted no time installing herself, placing her head comfortably on his chest. His arm folded itself around her as she put her arm over his chest.

She closed her eyes, entirely contented.

It was too perfect to last.

‘You coming down for breakfast yet? It’s already half past ten. I half expected you to be knocking on my door and – ’

Margaery flung open the door, inviting herself into Sansa’s bedroom as she so often did, flinging open the curtains with purpose.

She froze, finally looking to the side.

‘Oh. Hi Willas. Will you have breakfast with us?’

Sansa groaned, burying her face in Willas’ chest.

‘I’ll allow you two to get dressed. See you downstairs’, her voice sung before Sansa heard a door closing.

‘So she barges into your room without reservation too?’ Willas asked.

‘Yep.’

‘No privacy in this house. None at all.’

Sansa let out a small laugh.

‘Perhaps we should start locking the door’, Sansa suggested.

‘You have a lock, we don't. My parents hid away the keys back when we were tiny children so we couldn’t lock ourselves up. But they must have forgotten where they placed them and by the time we were old enough to be trusted with keys… they were gone.’

‘However did you cope?’ Sansa asked propping her chin on his chest.

‘We decided to be very open with each other, since we were natural chatterboxes anyway. Don't need a lock if you have nothing to hide and if... say... a sibling got traumatized by what they saw, that was on them.’

She pressed a kiss against his lips.

Quite a different culture to her home, indeed.

‘Do you want to head down for breakfast now?’

‘Depends. Do you need to get studying soon?’

‘Well, I have quite a few hours of wiggle room today’, she smiled.

Willas smiled, before the beautiful vision cracked.

‘No we should get downstairs. I’ve never been abed this late. Mom and grandmother… they’ll start worrying.’

‘Why, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping in’, Sansa pointed out, stroking his hair.

‘Unfortunately, I’ve given them reason to think it is with me.’

Sansa frowned.

‘Let’s just say that when I stayed in bed for long stretches of time at the beginning of this year and the past few years… I was never in the best place.’

‘Oh…’

That made sense, she supposed.

‘They don’t know that I am now.’

She looked up to find him smiling again.

‘You’re way too smooth, Mr. Tyrell’, Sansa laughed.

‘Actually, as a marquis, it’s Lord Tyrell’, Willas pointed out.

‘Well, if we’ll be speaking properly, I demand to be addressed as Lady Stark.’

‘Well then, my lady, shall we grace the others with our presence?’

‘Excellent proposition’, she smiled, pressing her lips on his.

‘If you will excuse me, my lord, I need to go and threaten a ferocious gossip with certain death to ensure her silence. You can take a head start to get ready.’

It was the wisest thing anyway. After the awkward moment of tonight, to give him some privacy in starting up his day.

‘Please do so, and give her my eternal contempt for entering without knocking.’

‘I shall’, she giggled, pressing another kiss on his lips.

He surprised her by snaking his arms around her, pressing her to his chest for another couple of seconds before he let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reality check; I do feel obliged to point out that sleeping with a prosthetic is not recommended. And you are technically required to wash your stump every day since you've probably been sweating in your socket each day. And you're supposed to inspect it for any skin issues, since obviously in a dark humid environment skin issues can quickly turn into big problems if left unchecked. Because otherwise it's going to hurt putting your prosthetic on (and potentially cause real skin issues). I've searched the entire interwebs from reddit to youtube and all websites (and still, man, some pieces of specific information are so hard to find) and it does happen people fall asleep with it on or without doing the necessary night time routine. So I want to say it's far from ideal and I recognize that. Off screen (because this story is strictly Sansa pov) he will do the necessary morning routine, properly clean his prosthetic, etc etc.  
> Hope that satisfies everyone that's as knowledge hungry as I am.


	14. Chapter 14

The new day was spent in much the same way as the day before. She had breakfast, she shared some light conversation with the others present at the table, she studied, but this time she did take a break for a boardgame. It was all good fun, and she was glad to see everyone’s faces again. But she could never focus on either the others or her studies for more than twenty minutes. Not without her mind wandering to last night, and her guilt relating to their rude awakening sometime around four.

Realizing that she had a library full of Willas knowledge in her best friend, she decided it was best to present the situation to Margaery. As they went upstairs after the game for some more studying, she asked Margaery into her room.

‘I need advice.’

Margaery’s eyes started twinkling.

‘Oh, sure. How can I be of assistance?’

‘This morning when you found us –‘

‘Yes, good job on that one. I knew you could seduce him’, Margaery interrupted her.

‘I didn’t. I didn’t seduce him’, Sansa spat out, throwing herself into her armchair.

‘I didn’t ask him. He fell asleep on my bed reading a book. And I just covered him up and went to sleep beside him.’

‘Alright and? He didn’t seem to mind this morning?’

‘We woke up. I don’t know how late. He didn’t know where he was. And… the battery of his leg had died. And it was so bad Marge. I think, I don’t know him well enough, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It was horribly awkward. I fetched his charger and his shrinker but… I could just feel like he could die. And I could die from guilt because I’d put him in that position.’

Margaery’s face clouded. She nodded as Sansa continued her story.

‘Oh. And then what?’

‘I went to the bathroom, to give him some privacy. And then returned. We did end up cuddling but I just felt so horrible. He said it wasn’t my fault because I didn’t know. And I didn’t know, that’s true. But I didn’t ask him. And I put him in a vulnerable position. And although we managed to hug and kiss before sleep and then again this morning I also feel that we kind of avoided certain things. Our legs never touched, my hands didn’t stray. I never watched him below the belt. I left him alone when he had to get in and out of the bed and I just…’

Margaery nodded.

‘And what do I need to advise you on?’

Sansa shrugged, wrapping her arms around her legs. Preferably, she’d get a manual.

‘I don’t know. I’m just… sad. And I feel guilty. But I also feel… Kind of annoyed. It could have been avoided if I only knew. I feel like I know him. _Really_ know him. I know what he likes, I know his interests. I know his personality and his habits… But all I got on his leg, I got through you. And like a few bits and pieces from him. You even had to tell me he had a prosthetic to begin with! He doesn’t need to tell me things he doesn’t want. We’ve only been together for three days but it’s hard. Because I can just feel that I need to be careful around him. But I don’t know how. And I would just… I really liked waking up next to him. But I feel like… I wouldn’t even dare to propose it at this stage’, she admitted, a tear rolling down her face.

It hadn’t been as much of a bother tonight, but the more she thought of it, the more of a deal it became in her head. And rationally, she knew Willas had told her it was alright. And realistically, they had been alright. But she also knew that she’d been excused for yesterday, while sleeping together would remain a problem in the future.

Margaery let out a breath, nodding.

‘Yeah.’

Margaery rose, moving over to the bathroom and checking whether it was empty. Sansa hadn’t even considered, but luckily it was.

‘I thought… I don’t know, perhaps I was a bit too optimistic about the magic of love’, Margaery shrugged.

‘Yeah. Well. Right now I’m afraid love won’t have a change to grow if I accidentally step on a sore spot.’

‘So you’ve tried avoiding everything you think might be touchy for him?’

‘Everything I can think of. But of course most things I could only avoid after making a mistake. Like I tried touching him under his shirt once when we sat on his bed and he froze. So I haven’t repeated that. And I try not to start talks about his leg. And after the swimming pool accident it was clear he was uncomfortable around me partially disrobed, totally fair, it was awkward as hell for me too. But undressing is a part of sleeping together, even when we’re not talking about sex. So I thought we wouldn’t sleep together soon. But then I figured because he was fully clothed and on my bed already, that there was no harm in it. Wrong again’, she laughed, voice hollow.

‘I keep making these mistakes and I’m afraid at this rate I’ll be running out of my nine lives faster than a cat on a highway.’

‘Sansa, dear. Listen. Willas isn’t Joffrey. Or Harry. He won’t beat you up for a mistake. He’s twenty-eight. He’s an adult. Harry and Joffrey were like what? Twenty when you dated them? That’s eight years of added maturity. He understands he can’t blame you for moments being awkward.’

Sansa chewed on her cheek. That did sound fair. Yet… Why would he stay with a girl that made things awkward?

‘I said before that Willas needs to put on his big boy pants. I still believe that. We’ve coddled him. We’ve allowed him to hide away in his room when he felt bad. Because that’s what we all do when we feel bad. We can’t take a hit. We take it personally. And then we’re sad and angry and believe we’re complete failures because we couldn’t get that one silly thing right. I can’t tell you how normal it is around here to storm away, disappear, mope or even become angry and lash out. We’re not vulnerable around people, we’re thorny’, Margaery explained.

It was nothing Sansa hadn’t heard before. They were sore losers, very competitive. But she was anxious to hear how that piece of information could help her with Willas, or at least help her understand.

‘We don’t do vulnerability in public. And Willas has always been able to hide the sides he wanted to hide, but he can’t do that in a relationship. You know he wears that leg the whole damn day? I don’t even think I’ve seen him without it, unless in the swimming pool this summer. And I’m his _sister_. He will have to realize that if he wants a relationship, he’ll have to share parts of himself he doesn’t like to share.’

‘Are you going to tell him that?’ Sansa shot.

She was tired. She just wanted him. And she still wasn’t closer to a solution to get to that point. All she knew was that this morning had felt so right, and that’s why it hurt so much to know she might not get that again anytime soon.

Margaery looked down, her face guilty and sorrowful. 

‘I thought that if I just showed him I loved and accepted him enough, he would stop feeling the need to be perfect around me’, Margaery admitted. ‘But it isn’t going away by silently accepting his behaviour.’

‘You’re his sister. You’ve known him for two decades. You can’t expect me to do it? I’ve… Only seen him two weeks. In our whole lives. Everything counted up.’

‘There’s a difference though. We talk. We let him behave the way he does, but we talk. We ask him how he’s doing. We ask him how he’s feeling. We ask him about his health. And he answers.’

Sansa shook her head.

‘I can’t. I _can’t_.’

‘You’re his girlfriend, Sansa. Don’t give me the “we’re only dating” crap. You will have to live with him in ways we don’t. You two are supposed to become each other’s first confidantes.’

‘I can’t just ask him!’

‘Why not?’

‘Because that’s… personal.’

‘Dear, there isn’t a thing about your relationship that isn’t personal. You have a right to know –‘

Sansa shook her head, the idea of boldly asking him about something that was obviously so sensitive was nerve-wracking.

‘And you _definitely_ have a right to ask questions’, Margaery decided.

‘If you want to stop having awkward moments, you’ll have to bite the bullet and ask him. It’s the only way.’

‘But… What if he’ll hate me for asking? It’s literally the most sensitive topic for him?’

‘He won’t hate you. Did you ever hate someone for asking questions that come from a good place, asked to ensure you feel good in a situation? No. Not a rational person would hate you for asking such questions. See it as one big awkward conversation to avoid further awkwardness. Sansa, I know you avoid confrontations like the plague, but it’s clear you need to have this conversation. You need to tell him what you want and what you need. And you both need to talk about the boundaries of your relationship. It’s time. You can perhaps delay it a bit longer, but in the end, you’ll need to have the conversation sooner rather than later.’

‘I just want to skip these stupid awkward moments and get to the good parts’, Sansa moaned.

‘Don’t we all? Dear, you have exams soon. You won’t have peace of mind until you get these questions answered. So ask them. If only so you can focus on your studies.’

Sansa dropped her head on her legs. Margaery approached her, patting her friend’s shoulder.

‘You can’t have a rose without some thorns, dear. But you’ll get through this. You both will. All my faith is with you… And my money.’

It became sooner rather than later. She indeed couldn’t focus, too preoccupied by her love life. She managed to drag herself through one class before Alerie called them down for dinner. With an uncharacteristic decisiveness, she asked Willas for a walk outside straight after dinner. She feared that if she waited, she’d lose her courage. It also meant that she hadn’t thought through a speech, or any questions.

Mouth full of teeth, she looked at the ground as they walked through the garden.

‘I really liked waking up in your arms’, she started.

That was good. A nice positive beginning. Focussing on the good parts, hinting at what she wanted.

‘So did I.’

Good. If you liked something, you wanted to repeat it. Right?

‘I do still feel sorry about… not waking you up and such.’

‘It’s fine’, he politely assured her. But she noticed his voice sounded more strained. His words were more clipped.

‘I figured, perhaps we could talk. Well, we already talk plenty, but you know… We never actually talked about… I would just like to avoid doing stupid things unaware’, she stumbled.

Marvellous. _Very eloquent, Stark, and some nice self-pity to boot._

‘It wasn’t stupid.’

‘I felt stupid. I hate not knowing what to do or how to act and making mistakes’, she admitted, her worry slipping through her voice.

‘You don’t have to act in any way’, Willas bristled. ‘I’m not a horse that needs to be tamed according to a certain kind of manual.’

 _Shit_ , she’d blown it. She should have prepared this conversation.

‘I’m not saying you are!’ she quickly defended.

_This is awkward_. She wanted to drop the point and run. Tears were clawing at the backs of her eyeballs, asking to leave the pressure cooker of Sansa’s head. She knew how these conversations had usually gone in the past, Sansa asking for guidelines and clarity, her past boyfriends always shrugging but then being mad when she made a mistake she didn’t know she was making.

No, she didn’t want that for her and Willas.

And Willas was new. She had to give him the opportunity to respond to her. She had to try. Margaery was right, he was a mature man.

She mulled over his words, wait. She could use that.

‘Actually, we all are horses with manuals. We all need to be tamed. Being in a relationship is about learning to be together, right? And we all have our preferences and dislikes, right? So like, if you love someone, you don’t want to do things they dislike. And you don’t want to hurt them. But how can the other person know they’re hurting you? Only the person themselves has the manual with their likes and dislikes.’

Yes, that did make sense. She hoped he understood the parallel she drew.

‘For example…’

Oh no, she had to come up with an example. Her mind came up empty, except for experiences with her previous boyfriends. She marched forward at a quicker pace.

‘I was always punished by my previous boyfriends when I did something they considered annoying. So, I’m constantly nervous about messing things up. Because I’m a perfectionist. Because I want to do the right thing. Because I don’t want to annoy people. Because I want people to like me and I want… I want people to _stay_. And not knowing when I’m making a mistake makes me nervous. Because I’m expecting some kind of punishment. Cruel remarks, being beaten, or the person just leaving me for someone less annoying.’

She took a deep breath, ignoring the tears prickling at the edges of her eyelashes.

‘Just an example. If you really hate cinnamon. And I constantly make cinnamon dishes, I’m annoying you. And I don’t want to annoy you. It’s no effort for me to make dishes without cinnamon. But I can only do that when I know you don’t like cinnamon. However it is an effort for me to make the dish and then have you hate it and then be sad because you hate it… and then I start fearing there are other ingredients you don’t like and I get nervous every time I cook. It’s a horrible situation that could have been fully avoided if I knew you disliked cinnamon.’

‘Cinnamon?’

‘Harry hated cinnamon’, Sansa shrugged, turning back towards Willas. A hot fat tear rolled down her cheek.

Guilt tugged at his lip.

‘I was never really in a long relationship. And never needed to… discuss things beforehand. All topics just popped up when they did’, he said. It was an apology. He didn’t know her nervous struggles because she’d never vocalized them. He hadn’t seen the need. Or perhaps, he had seen the need sometimes but thought he could delay it because it wasn’t pressing enough.

‘When a certain topic pops up. We ignore it though’, Sansa muttered.

She could see him swallowing, saw the struggle in his eyes. But he didn’t lash out like Joffrey, or seemed exhausted and impatient like Harry. He was staying calm.

‘I’m sorry.’

He came up to her, offering her his arm. It was a peace offering. Margaery had warned her that Willas closed himself off when he felt vulnerable, but he was allowing her physical proximity. She rested her head against his shoulder as they continued their walk, praying that it was clear she wasn’t angry and still wanted to be close to him as well.

‘It’s difficult.’

‘It doesn’t seem easy’, she agreed/

Willas huffed a laugh. ‘It isn’t. Or well, it could be easy, if my attitude was better.’

She decided not to ask how. As long as he talked, she was fine with whatever he offered.

The snow cracked underneath their feat, having grown hard from the permanently freezing temperatures. The cold bit her nose and cheeks as she waited for more.

‘Perhaps we should sit down?’ he offered, gesturing at the stables.

It was neutral territory, where they had the smallest chance of being interrupted.

‘Alright.’

She followed him in, smiling at the sounds the horses were making. They both sat down on the bales of hay. She was glad for her long coat, it saved her legs from being stabbed as she scooted closer to Willas. She laid her head against his shoulder again. It was easier for her if she didn’t feel like someone was looking at her, perhaps it was for him as well.

‘I hardly know… how to begin.’

‘Anywhere is fine, and every style is fine too.’

‘I think… I never got used to things not going my way. And not going smoothly. So when I get the chance to pretend things are fine. I take it. And… I try to ignore signs that show things aren’t fine. I believe that if I ignore them long enough and push through, I’ll make it work. And then it will be like everything is normal.’

She couldn’t relate. At the first sign of a thing going wrong, she completely panicked. But she supposed that was why he was a pro-racer and she wasn’t. She couldn’t get over her fear. She couldn’t control things when they got difficult. She quit.

‘Now I know that’s silly around you and my family. Since you know exactly what I am. But I suppose I’m a bit proud. And a bit of a perfectionist’, he smiled, eyes connecting with hers. They’d talked about that. Them all being perfectionists. She smiled back, softly.

‘Although I chose this...’

Willas paused, sucking in his lower lip. She pressed her head against his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him in encouragement.

‘I chose to have my leg amputated in the hopes I’d lose some of the pain, and perhaps regain some mobility. And it worked. It worked very well. And I don’t regret it. I’m more mobile, I’m not in pain. I was a bit in the beginning, I totally underestimated how uncomfortable it would be adjusting to The Thing. And I totally underestimated how I would feel about being an amputee. Which is awful, because it’s not the kind of decision you can take back and it _was_ a good decision. But I am well now. And when I walk around, I even look like I did before, as if nothing ever happened to me. Mean and horrible as it sounds I like passing as normal. I like not getting odd looks the way I did before with my cane and my crutches. But at the end of the day, the charade ends.’

And that’s where every problem began. Things always became awkward when they risked ruining the perfect charade.

‘And I know you know it’s a charade’, Willas sighed. ‘But I… I don’t like it. I’m fine throughout the day but I struggle at night. I hate the reminder. I hate not feeling normal.’

She could feel his hand shaking on her thigh. She couldn’t look up. She didn’t want to see his pain. The pain she’d forced on him by having this conversation.

Now she really felt like a monster for forcing him through this conversation.

She covered his hand with her own. His other hand came to rest on top of hers, shakingly taking her hand between his and holding it tightly.

‘I hate making you feel that way. I don’t want you to be awkward around me. I swear I always feel so awful. At the swimming pool. Last night. I didn’t know. And I didn’t know what to do either. You don’t… you don’t need to do something you don’t like. I don’t want to push you, I know how it feels to be pushed. I won’t do that to you. But I don’t know enough to avoid it.’

His hands were still shaking.

‘I don’t know either. I always think things are fine. And then suddenly I become afraid that… Your leg will touch my right one or something else. Which is ridiculous, because what is going to happen? You touch it and you faint because it’s fake? Or end up feeling no leg because it isn’t there and you’ll be shocked?’ he asked, voice ironical.

She huffed a tiny laugh.

‘It’s just that I don’t want to be reminded, or to remind you, that I’m not whole. But that’s useless.’

‘I went on a date once, I never told anyone but Garlan… and that was when I still had my leg…’ he shook his head.

Sansa desperately wanted to confess she knew. Just to spare him the pain of having to tell her.

‘There were so many questions. And there were so many things I had to admit to that I wasn’t able to do… I couldn’t help asking myself who would be foolish enough to take me on. it was around the week of Loras’ graduation party… Oberyn convinced me that I had to go for my brother, and that I could then prove I could still go out to a bar. Because that was one of the things that woman had asked if I could still do. And I’d answered negatively. And it was going fine. We were in the lounge above. Just relaxing and chatting. But then you came… and Oberyn of course was just a smooth as always. Just as smooth as I once was. And then he asked you to dance and you laughed so much’, he laughed bitterly.

Sansa froze. She remembered that moment. She remembered her joy. And she remembered looking at Willas and seeing his morose expression. An anvil plummeted on top of her stomach, squashing any and all fire and butterflies that remained.

‘And I thought to myself… I could never give that to someone again.’

She wrapped her second hand around their joined hands.

‘You did though. You did dance with me. And you did make me laugh while dancing.’

‘I mean, fuck her right? There’s assholes who don’t want to date me either. But I want to date you. If I didn’t want to date you, I wouldn’t’, she stressed.

‘You don’t know though. You don’t know what I can and can’t do. You don’t know what I look like either.’

‘How different can it be from what I imagine? Half a leg is half a leg.’

He bent back, sharing a tortured look with her.

‘I can’t know what you can and can’t do unless you tell me’, she added.

‘I know’, he admitted.

She put her head back on his shoulder. Perhaps now was the time to ask him. It was a concrete situation. Perhaps that was easier than a general discussion about what he could and couldn’t do.

‘Can you sleep with me, like we did tonight?’

Willas sighed.

‘I really liked holding you’, she confirmed again.

‘I liked holding you too’, he admitted, followed by another sigh.

‘Is there a way to make it… more okay for you?’

‘Perhaps it could help if…’ he remained quiet as he thought about it. ‘If you stayed in your room until I called you in.’

‘I can do that’, she said.

Her heart soared. They could sleep together!

But now she had to ask, so she knew, once and for all.

‘Is there anywhere I can’t touch you when we’re sleeping? Something you don’t like?’

She could feel Willas swallowing. His thumbs brushed over her hand.

‘I don’t know’, he admitted.

‘The lower you touch me, the tenser I become, because it’s closer to my leg. And the whole night I kept my right leg strictly to my side of the bed. But then this morning as we were going… It kind of became less of a priority.’

That was the exact same feeling she had gotten.

‘I don’t want to rule out anything yet. Actually, I think it might be better if you try and push me. Because this morning… I wanted you. But I was holding back. I’ve never had that before. Everything was always so easy, I never felt afraid before. I work better when I’m pushed. Newton’s law, right? An object that’s put in motion, stays in motion. Perhaps I can push through the awkwardness just like I pushed through other kinds of challenges before.’

‘You’re certain? You don’t have to.’

‘I want to. That’s not the question… it’s… daring.’

He huffed a laugh.

‘Never thought I’d be the type afraid to do something.’

‘Well, that’s perfectionism too’, Sansa replied.

Willas looked at her, eyebrows knitted together.

‘I often postpone things because I’m too afraid to start, intimidated by what I have to deliver. And I’m afraid to participate in things because once I participate, I have to be a perfect participant doing everything flawlessly. That’s perfectionism too. You avoid doing things because you can’t fail what you don’t do’, she explained.

‘Well I’ll be damned’, Willas smiled. ‘How easy the world must be if you don’t feel the need to be perfect at everything.’

‘Mood’, Sansa smiled.

His hands had stopped trembling.

‘If I may ask though,’ Willas started, ‘about you.’

‘Sure.’

It was only fair, after she’d slashed open his scars and forced the secrets to ooze out.

‘What’s your manual?’ he asked with a teasing smile, trying to lighten the mood.

Shit. She hadn’t actually given it thought. That was an overwhelming question. She knew things she liked and disliked. But what were the primary things? She was glad she’d only asked him about sleeping. That was a concrete topic to focus on. This was too broad. But perhaps she could just say some things, and then they could keep going back to the topic whenever they saw fit.

‘I… I need honesty and openness. I want to be able to trust and be trusted. I need information to feel confident in my acting and decision making. And I don’t want yelling. Insults. Violence.’

She shrugged.

‘Those demands sound very easy and reasonable’, he laughed.

‘You’d think’, she shot back, voice laced with sarcasm. It had been hard for both of her exes.

‘I’ll try working on the openness part’, he assured her.

‘You’re already doing wonderfully’, she complimented.

‘Why thanks. It was hard work.’

‘And it’s highly appreciated’, she smiled, rewarding him with a kiss.

‘I should try this open conversation thing more often’, he laughed.

‘Indeed we should. Perhaps… we would reap the benefits tonight?’ she softly suggested.

‘I’m certainly amenable to that.’

They entered the house, frozen solid, half an hour later. Sansa sat on the counter as he made them mulled wine again, dragging him to her lips every time he came too close to her. They snuck their mulled wine upstairs, both not exactly in the mood to see others after their conversation.

In his bedroom he set up the cyvasse board on his desk, putting his desk chair and comfortable chair in front of it. They placed their pieces as they heated their hands with their cups, sneaking glances across the board. Feeling particularly bold, Sansa tried to play footsie. Luck however, still didn’t have it out for Sansa. Willas had his legs crossed underneath his chair, and her toe hit something hard. He looked up, shoulders instantly tensing.

Sansa’s brain short-circuited, she couldn’t find an elegant way out of this. So her mouth said the first thing it could think of after their conversation.

‘That isn’t a real leg?’ she gasped in fake surprise.

He huffed an incredulous laugh, rolling his eyes.

‘Don’t’, he begged, shaking his head with another laugh.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You’re thinking.’

‘It’s nothing.’

‘No, say it. Now that we’re doing the awkward talk anyway’, he said before taking a large gulp of wine.

‘Do you feel that?’

‘Do you feel it if I touch your clothes?’ he shot back.

‘Of course, they’re on my body.’

He raised his eyebrows.

‘Oh. Stupid question.’

‘Kind of’, he agreed with a laugh.

He got his revenge no four moves into the game, when he killed her rubble.

‘Damn.’

‘Should I have been open about my plans for your rubble?’ he asked, eyes gleaming with amusement as he kicked one of her sore spots.

‘I don’t know. Feel free to inform me’, she replied with a smile.

‘You’d like that wouldn’t you? Need an unfair advantage to win?’

‘Try and find out’, she challenged, knowing very well the odds weren’t in her favour.

She noticed he used similar techniques to find out where her pieces were hidden, but she wasn’t skilled enough to stop it. She tried to move her pieces in a way that was wise, focusing on her defences instead of finding his.

‘You know I’m going to have your king in about four moves right?’ Willas asked after a while.

‘Don’t tell me you’re one of those scary people who can actually say things like that.’

He lifted his eyebrows, puckering his lips to hide his smile.

‘Scary people?’

‘You know, like in those movies and series about strategy game players. I’ve never heard an actual person say that.’

‘Have you ever met someone who was in a cyvasse club?’

‘Oh gentle Mother, have mercy’, Sansa moaned, covering her face with her hands.

‘Weren’t you busy with sports stuff?’ she asked. ‘How could you possibly do all of that _and_ cyvasse club _and_ regular school work?’

‘Oh, it was in primary school and my first year of high school. I quit once I became really invested in sports’, Willas replied carelessly.

She glimpsed at him through her fingers.

‘In primary? Gods, only complete prodigies do such shit in primary school.’

Willas shrugged.

‘I wasn’t that great, lost a fair amount of games. In the end I had to choose between school, cyvasse and sports. Sports were easy, school required time. Cyvasse was the thing I lost at most. And distracting, I always kept thinking about games I lost. Sometimes when I closed my eyes in bed, I could still see pieces moving. Not that it ever helped me see through a tactic, they just haunted me.’

‘I hope it won’t haunt you tonight.’

She took his catapult.

‘Why, want me to think about other things?’ he asked with a grin.

The fire in her stomach roared to life again. She clenched her legs together. He was way too smooth. She wondered how many girls, and apparently men as well, had been able to resist Willas when he focussed his full charm offensive at them.

Her mouth fell open as he took away her dragon.

She cringed. She should have seen that one. But she’d been too focussed on taking his pieces out of pure panic now that her defences were failing.

Sansa blinked at the gameboard, staring at the pieces remaining on her board. The longer she stared the more meaningless it all became.

His words kept repeating themselves in her ears. She blinked, going over where she knew some of his pieces to be.

‘Stop trying to distract me’, she muttered.

‘Is it working?’

‘Now who needs to cheat to win?’ Sansa demanded to know. Willas only grinned.

‘Uhm. Trebuchet to e5’, Sansa announced.

He was wrong about his guess. She died after five moves instead of four.

She chewed her cheek as he lifted the board separating their sides, revealing his relatively full side and his king, entirely unprotected, far away from the zone where they’d been holding their battle.

Her eyebrows rose. Damn, she hadn’t expected him to place his king there, nobody ever did. He’d put all of his defences far away from his king, making her think his king was somewhere entirely else.

‘Your face is truly adorable when you’re confused.’

She looked up, glad to see the light shining in his eyes.

‘It’s unfair. I was distracted.’

‘Who says I wasn’t distracted?’ he asked back.

‘How did I distract you?’ Sansa asked incredulously.

Willas pulled her towards him.

‘Looked in a mirror today?’

‘I’m very flattered you believe I can apply eyeliner without a mirror’, Sansa laughed.

He twisted a strand of her hair around his fingers, his gaze dropping to her lips.

‘I don’t doubt you are very skilled.’

She could taste the orange on his breath before he leaned in, closing the distance.

She let out a breath against his lips. She always felt most at ease when they touched.

He made expert use of her breath, opening his own mouth in turn.

The movements of his lips breathed air into the fire in her belly.

A shiver chased down her arms as he changed the angle, deepening the kiss.

His tongue ran a line across her lips, almost hesitant. She relaxed her jaw a bit, letting him in.

She could feel his free hand roaming over her arm, her knee, her thigh.

Heat pooled between her legs.

He took her lip between his teeth, and her whole body trembled, charged by a strange kind of electricity. She reached out, digging her nails into his shoulders and pressing him to her.

No, not enough. The stupid armrests were in the way.

She kicked back her chair, pulling on his and sitting down on his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs.

Willas looked up at her in surprise, before quickly putting a smile back on his face.

‘Impatient?’ he asked with a careless tone. As if he wasn’t rock hard underneath her.

‘Just tried to make myself a bit more comfortable’, she smiled, putting her hands in his hair.

Willas shrugged, placing his hands on her behind.

‘No problem for me’, he replied, voice suspiciously hoarse.

But before she could comment on the location of his hands, he’d put his lips on hers again, wasting no time to repeat what had made her gasp for breath.

It did not miss its effect this time either. Her body buckled, and for a second her body rubbed against him. She could feel her core transforming from a fire into a furnace, pumping heat to the rest of her body. 

He smiled against her lips before going in with his clever tongue again. She was clinging on for dear life against the assault.

Finally, by the time she was inches away from becoming a puddle, he leant back.

Oh those eyes, now so soft and relaxed, she could drown in them.

He gently tucked back her hair behind her ear.

‘Perhaps we should start getting ready for bed. It’s late and you’ll have to study tomorrow.’

She was almost disappointed, before she recalled that they would share a bed tonight.

She bit her lip, trying to be not too enthusiastic when she nodded.

‘Alright.’

Willas smiled, looking down.

He had such a gorgeous smile.

‘You’ll have to get off of me’, he pointed out as he ran his hands up and down her legs.

‘Right’, she nodded, cheeks burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author warning: I have 2 exams within the first 8 days of January so every chapter I post might be the last in a while.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's sad I couldn't reach a New Year's chapter before New Year, but to end the year on a positive note: enjoy some smut.

Sansa was pacing in her room, too impatient to do anything useful or even sit down and wait in peace. She’d taken a long time washing and grooming in the bathroom, and was now almost ready to start biting her nails.

She hadn’t felt so nervous yesterday. Perhaps because it was less of a conscious decision then. It didn’t feel as important as today.

‘Come on, you’ve shared a bed with men before’, she told herself. ‘Even with him.’

She threw open the window, breathing in the night air. The cold stabbed daggers in her face. That was better, the cold was distracting. She let out a shaky breath. _It would be fine._

She’d barely inhaled thrice before she heard Willas’ voice.

Fuck.

Crap.

She nodded to herself, staring at the almost full moon, illuminating the clouds drifting in front of it. She was Sansa Stark, the blood of the kings of winter, she would not be frightened by a mundane thing as sleeping beside a man. As her mother said, she’d had to have some Stark ice in her veins.

She closed the window with a decisive thud, locking it and marching to the bathroom.

Wait. Perhaps some cherry chapstick.

Alright, now she was ready.

Wait, had she put on deodorant after washing? Yes, she had.

Alright. She flung open the bathroom door. His had been left open, a gaping mouth of darkness threatening to swallow her. No, she’d make it. She was even wearing a nice nightdress and underwear. Why would she be frightened? She had full control of the situation.

The bravado lasted until she was in his room, faint moonlight the only thing warning her of all the traitorous chairs and hard wood she could bump into. She paused.

‘I feel like an innocent virgin from one of the songs’, she joked, hoping that if she pointed it out it would become less awkward.

‘Well, the songs are lies. Historically speaking, it were mostly women who used their sexuality to get what they wanted’, Willas joked.

‘Well, historically speaking, we didn’t exactly have the opportunity to use swords to get what we wanted’, Sansa shot back, moving over to the bed.

‘Point taken’, Willas noted.

He offered his arm again, and she happily nestled herself in the crook of his arm, burying her nose against his chest.

She could feel his muscles relaxing, and couldn’t help but smile.

‘Now I don’t have to lay awake until my bed is warm’, she laughed.

‘I feel so valued and appreciated’, Willas joked.

‘Indeed you should be, you’re an excellent bedwarmer.’

Her left leg shot up.

‘Ah, there we go’, Willas joked.

‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine. While they’re busy, let’s entertain ourselves a bit.’

‘What?’

His breath already ghosted over her cheek.

 _Oh_.

She lifted her chin and met his lips, allowing him to press her against him. His lips were lazy and careless in their affection, as often dropping artless kisses on her eyes and cheeks as they did on her lips, leaving her breathless with smiles and giggles. She could just feel her chest expanding, her heart swelling size after size.

She barely noticed that by the time his arm around her relaxed again, her legs had stopped moving.

‘Sweet dreams’, he offered.

‘You too’, she smiled, resting her head back against him.

Her legs, of course, weren’t perfectly quiet immediately, but her brain was pleasantly fuzzy and already miles ahead of how drowsy she usually was by had she been in bed alone. She noticed Willas was quick to fall asleep. His breathing calmed down, without his ever changing of position. It was envy inducing. But it took her only a couple of twists and turns more before she too was dragged off to the world of dreams.

In the morning, still too luxuriously sleepy and warm to open her eyes, she rolled away from the edge of the bed towards her private furnace. Willas adjusted slightly, throwing a heavy arm around her.

A smile grew on her face. It was amazing how much being in his arms instantly relaxed her.

She inched closer still, snuggling up to his body on which the scent of soap had now evaporated. She breathed him in, her fingers softly sliding over the expanse of his chest.

She indexed the warm landscape, exploring the valleys and hills of his ribcage, and the hairy plane in the middle of his chest. Her free hand rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She did want to see this in the light of day.

Something stirred within her as she opened her eyes. The sheets covered him until the top of his chest, yet the allusion to what was underneath was enough to stoke the fire within her. Her hand travelled further, thumb brushing over the golden and green ink on his opposite shoulder. She didn’t know what she had expected the texture to feel like, it was just skin.

She bit her lip, looking up at his face to see how he responded. His brows moved.

She reached up to wipe his brow flat, smoothing the frown on his forehead. He blinked, blearily looking down at her with a smile.

‘Now I know how you get up so early, you don’t close your curtains’, she smiled.

‘Caught me’, he said before yawning, stretching his arms out above him.

Sansa watched the ripple of his muscle across his chest, the movement made the sheets fall back.

‘You’re staring’, he pointed out as he put his arm around her again.

‘I’m observing.’

‘For what purpose?’ he teased, raising an eyebrow.

‘To know what you look like so I can recognize you in case you lose your head?’ she asked.

Willas’ incredulous expression was enough to send her laughing, luckily he too joined in.

‘You could have gone for any honest answer, you know?’ he asked, voice still light from laughter.

‘Like what?’ she asked, trying to look innocent.

‘For enjoyment? To know what my boyfriend looks like? Anything.’

She placed her hand back on his opposite shoulder.

‘Very well then, because I was curious.’

‘Curious?’ he asked, eyes gleaming as he looked at her.

‘Yeah,’

She bit her lip, looking at his body again as she let her fingertips continue downward, tracing a vein that was raised ever so slightly above his skin.

He stretched his hand, allowing her fingertips to walk into his hand, moving over the flexed muscle and hollow of his palm before she slipped her fingers between his own. His hand folded around her own. She had not expected it to feel so rough, covered in calluses.

His thumb massaged the tender flesh around her thumb. Her heart jumped as she looked up at him. His eyes were still connected with hers as he lifted their hands, bringing them towards his lips where he kissed them.

Something stirred deep within her. She was barely able to hold his gaze, but neither was she able to look away. He pinned her hand beside her head, using it as a support when he bent over her to kiss her forehead.

Her chest trembled at the thought of being pinned down by him.

The heat of the bed and sun seeped underneath her skin.

His lips courted the side of her face, following the oval of her temple and cheekbone until he reached her lips, pausing above her.

‘Why are you staring?’ she whispered.

‘Enjoying the view’, he smiled before dipping down to kiss her.

Her chest rose to meet his, her fingers flexing in his hold. He bit down on her lip, enveloping it within his warm mouth.

A sigh tumbled over her lips. So caught up was she that she barely noticed he moved their hands to her shoulder. His fingers slowly dragged down the thin strap of her nightgown, and that was when she noticed.

He was still holding her hand. She could stop him. She had the nervous impulse to do so, but she was curious to know what he’d do.

He abandoned her lips, seeking new uncovered skin, planting kisses along her neck as he moved down.

The butterflies came to life, fluttering in anticipation.

His hand moved down towards her breast. She could feel her nipple hardening beneath the skin of her hand as his fingers folded around it. Her heart was beating madly.

Here she thought he had wound her up before, but he had only just begun winding ropes around her. Her whole body was trembling with tension and anticipation. He’d finally arrived at his destination.

His beard tickled the skin of her chest, but she could make out the texture of two soft lips finally finding what they were looking for on the other side of her chest.

‘Oh.’

‘No?’ he asked, breath sending tingles down her spine.

‘Yes.’

He wrapped his lips around her nipple.

An undignified noise fell from her mouth. He moved his hand so it could toy with her free nipple.

‘Fuck’, she breathed.

He chuckled against her skin.

She felt like she was grounded yet soaring. Her hands itched to touch him in turn, but she was powerless. She pressed her legs together, trying to quell the fire, but the added pressure only increased her desire.

She wouldn’t make it into the new year like this.

Her fingers twitched again, digging into the skin of his palm.

He bit down softly. She gasped, her back shooting up. She was pretty sure this was the longest time a man had ever teased her. Having mercy on her overly stimulated chest, their united hands were guided lower, caressing the curve of her waist before their hands stilled on her hip.

 _No_ , her body complained, writhing uselessly in an attempt to relieve the pressure.

Wait, it’s my hand too, she finally realized. She tried to see if Willas would allow her to guide as well, she stretched her arm a bit more, sliding their hands down her thigh. He let her. She moved their hands until they reached the edge of her skirt.

She swallowed. Did she dare? Willas repositioned his hip to adjust to the new hold.

Just as she was about to chicken out he sucked deeply, before flicking his tongue over her nipple.

Her hand twitched. The fabric of her dress slipped away beneath their joined hands. His fingers slid over the flesh of her thigh. And she was lost.

Her thighs quivered, welcoming the featherlight brushes of his callused fingers. She stretched her fingers, sliding her hand from underneath his. His thumb hesitantly brushed a circle across her skin. He didn’t move upward.

To her relief, he finally lifted his mouth. But the loss of pressure was short-lived, as he only moved over to her cold neglected other nipple.

Her hand quickly covered his, giving him an encouraging push.

He hummed, fingers finally increasing their pressure on her thigh, she replied with a sigh, inadvertently lifting her hips.

Hand now free she reached up to dig her hand into his hair, pulling him up towards her lips again.

His lips were hot against her as he breathed into their kiss, his hand travelling up further and further, fingers tickling and teasing the hot skin of her thigh. She clenched her thighs together. The fire was unbearable.

‘You seem to be struggling’, he teased.

‘Please’, she could only breathe, lips hungrily seeking his again.

‘No need to beg’, he assured her, his hand reaching her hip. His thumb massaged the tense muscle right beside her hipbone. Her hips responded with every brush, buckling to meet a touch that didn’t come.

He was barely touching her, only meeting her with his lips and single hand, yet she felt she could not bear any further stimulus.

She whined, and finally, he took mercy on her.

His hand slipped down, wedging itself between her thighs that were glued shut due to the heat. It was almost painful as he peeled them apart, and the strained muscles quivered. He gently brushed his hand across her thighs, until some of the heat had abated.

‘And you’re from the North?’ he teased.

She could only moan in protest.

Finally his hand brushed the fabric of her underwear. Her core trembled at the light touch. He increased the pressure, and she realized, shamefully, that her underwear was completely soaked.

He removed his hand, and another undignified whine bubbled up in her throat.

‘Patience’, he breathed, tugging at the fabric of her underwear until it gave, sliding it down with practiced ease.

Apparently, here there was little rust to be found. If it had indeed been five years, Willas got back into it like one would riding a bike.

His hand moved back towards her centre again. Sliding a testing hand up and down before finally applying the pressure she needed.

Her hips buckled again.

She could feel him smiling against her lips.

He rubbed deep slow circles, gently stoking the heat within her.

She let out a breath of release, finding the chord had loosened around her chest. Willas propped himself up on his free arm, fingers moving down between her lips.

She blinked, looking up at him. The pale morning light was soft, casting him in a gorgeous glow. There was a soft smile on his lips when he noticed her looking. The Mother had blessed her. As she drowned in his eyes, he finally slipped in a finger. Her eyes fell shut again, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

‘I like to hear you’, Willas confided as he slipped in another.

‘Oh’.

She needed more of him. She could suddenly feel her chest growing empty.

Her arm shot out, pulling him back to her. He tumbled atop of her but she kept him in place, pressing her lips against his. He stilled for a moment. She could feel him swallowing before he readjusted, keeping his chest against her.

Her arms wrapped around his chest, hands exploring his back while his hand resumed its activity.

She couldn’t even bite her lip to keep in her noises as he kissed her.

It was entirely too much. She was going to break underneath the pressure. She could feel the ropes tightening around her, suffocating her. Her entire body throbbed. She could feel her heartbeat everywhere, even her blood sang the song of the unsustainable pace her heart was maintaining. Ever climbing, never slowing until finally –

She exploded.

She gasped for breath, the world suddenly starting to turn again.

‘Oh Seven’, she breathed.

Willas rolled back onto his back. As she caught her breath she looked beside her again, licking her lips.

‘That was –‘ she panted, shaking her head.

‘You are _so_ not out of practice’, she admitted with a laugh.

‘Good to know’, Willas said, apparently out of breath himself. She could still feel her insides clenching as a response to his intrusion.

She shuffled closer, suddenly becoming aware of how entirely useless she’d been. She reached out towards him, her hand still trembling as it met the sweaty skin of his abdomen.

‘Another time, perhaps’, he suggested, taking a hold of her hand.

‘But –‘

‘Please?’ he asked.

‘But it’s unfair’, Sansa protested.

‘Believe me, I’m quite happy as is’, he assured her, pressing a kiss to her lips.

She accepted the nope and allowed herself a few more minutes in his arms before she broke away with a sigh.

‘Study time?’ he asked.

‘I think shower time first’, she admitted shyly.

His eyes glowed as he laughed.

‘Starting the day nice and refreshed’, he agreed with a smile and a nod.

 _And entirely distracted_ , her mind added.

‘Yeah.’

It would have to be a very cold shower.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially the last one until after Thursday, enjoy.

‘I think… Colonel Mustard did it in the uhm… library with the…’

Sansa stared at the gameboard in front of her, staring at all the weapons that were scattered across the rooms. She picked up the rope, throwing it in the library.

‘With the rope.’

She glanced at her paper. She’d already tried the rope, but never with the colonel in the library so she hoped she’d get another card from someone. It was fine.

Margaery shot her a worried glance before sliding a card across the table.

Sansa carefully picked it up, glancing at the content. Library. She slid it back, checking it off of her list.

She glanced across the table. Willas was looking at his list with people, places and weapons. He looked up from his paper, smiling at her. Her stomach instantly turned, and she looked away at her own list again. Her skin tingled at the memory.

‘So no one has what I ask?’ Leonette asked, voice incredulous.

Sansa blinked.

‘Sansa, haven’t you got a thing?’ Leonette pushed.

‘I’m sorry, what did you say?’ she asked, looking up at the brunette.

‘Miss Ruby Redd, kitchen, knife.’

‘Oh.’

Sansa looked at her list.

_They were all already checked off._

She took her cards, pausing when she noticed the table was silent.

‘You’re awfully distracted tonight’, Loras pointed out, looking up from his cards with a frown.

‘I don’t know why you think that’, Sansa said.

‘Dear, you just said that out loud’, Margaery pointed out.

‘I’m not complaining’, Leonette waved while checking off all parts of her accusation

Margaery lipped a “What’s the matter?” from across the table.

Sansa’s cheeks burned. Ever since this morning, she couldn’t even meet Willas’ gaze without blushing. He’d ruined her. Broken her. And she was almost ready to beg for seconds.

‘Right… So I have a theory’, Renly decided, grabbing the stones.

‘Gotta reach a place first’, Loras pointed out.

‘I will get there. I always get to be where I want to be.’

Loras coughed. ‘Arrogance’, he coughed.

‘And you aren’t?’ Renly laughed, rolling the dice. He got to be exactly where he wanted to be. Loras rolled his eyes.

Renly put his figure in the pool area.

‘I believe Mrs. White did it, with the halter in the cinema’, he decided, before taking the envelope.

‘Dude, we’ve only been playing for half an hour, that’s really presumptuous’, Garlan pointed out.

Renly’s chest puffed up a bit more as he drew out the cards.

Everyone held in their breaths.

‘Aaaaaand… I’m dead’, Renly accepted, shoving the cards back in and throwing the envelope in the middle and throwing all his cards on the table. Everyone quickly started checking off the cards he’d held onto on their checklist.

‘Told you’, Garlan grinned.

‘What, you think you have a better idea?’

‘I might, but I’m going to take my time.’

‘He’s really good at that’, Leonette slyly quipped.

Loras choked on his wine.

‘Was that a burn or a compliment?’ Garlan asked his fiancée.

Leonette shrugged, taking a sip of her wine.

‘Both.’

Renly chuckled.

‘Oh whatever, still entertaining to just sit here’, he decided, looking around the table.

‘Actually no, you know what, now I wanna walk around and see how you’re all doing’, he decided, jumping up and moving to stand behind Loras.

Renly winced when he looked at Loras’ checklist. Apparently his supposition was already disproved. Sansa knew from her own list White definitely wasn’t the murderer, but that was where it ended. And someone else had shown her that card. She drew a circle around the weapon and place. They were probably wrong. Or at least one of them.

‘Alright, my turn’, Loras decided.

Sansa looked up at Willas again. He did look very handsome in his dark purple shirt. He wasn’t even doing anything special, just scrolling on his phone, but something had made him smile. The corners of her own mouth lifted in reaction.

She wondered what had made him smile.

Before she realized that they didn’t even have each other’s phone number. She’d like to say she was the rational type of girl who didn’t keep tabs on men. She didn’t. However, she knew his Instagram handle. She checked it like once every three months, which she believed did not count as stalking.

She quickly looked around the table, Garlan was showing Loras a card. She was fine for a while still. Taking out her phone she decided to channel all her confidence and girl power and send him a friendship request on Facebook and added him on Instagram.

His picture on Facebook was a very professional headshot with a black tie. His Instagram was more personal. Or had been. He’d been more active before 2016, posting pictures of himself at every race he was at, along with the regular practice and gala shot, along with shots of him eating basic dishes with his friends. But his Instagram had been private for a while now.

She looked up at him through her eyelashes. He was still on his phone, a frown appearing before he smiled again, shaking his head. He looked over at her. He’d gotten the notifications.

She looked down before she could blush, and found out he’d accepted her, the previously blank page becoming filled with a picturegrid.

His last pictures were a picture of him between large oak barrels with a mouth mask on, a picture with Oberyn and Arianne Martel in a wine cellar, and a picture of the wine advent calendar he sold.

Out of sheer curiosity, she allowed herself to click on Oberyn’s handle. Oberyn’s profile was open and filled with a million pictures. Some were pure thirst trap selfies of himself in a t-shirt, smirking at the camera, others were of him with wine bottles, between wine ranks and with friends. His most recent picture was of himself and a very beautiful woman, with three young girls in Christmas sweaters between them. He had preteen daughters? It absolutely blew her mind that the man who had been with Willas sometimes no eight years before and had been so suave to her, could be a family man. The caption proudly stated “My women”. It had to be his family. She blinked away her confusion and found many pictures with Willas or of just Willas at a dinner table, with a drink, at a poker table, raising his eyebrows at the camera in a way he usually reserved for his siblings. She read the caption: “Reluctant Partner in Crime/Wine”. She snorted, quickly locking her phone and putting it away.

Margaery raised an eyebrow at her, but Sansa shook her head. Leonette finished her turn, and it was time for Sansa again. She checked her list. The purple pawn was still empty on her checklist. She had the trophy herself. And she was sure it wasn’t the office.

‘Can anybody confirm any part of the following statement: Mr. Plum did it in the office with the trophy.’

Everyone blinked at her. Loras held the card of the office and she the one of the weapon, so only one other person could know another part of her statement. Unless, of course, they had seen Loras’ card. She hadn’t shown the trophy to anyone yet.

Renly moved behind her, looking at her list.

‘Anyone?’ Sansa asked, looking everyone in the eyes. Willas offered her a small smile, shaking his head.

‘Shit’, Garlan said. ‘Shit!’

The others glanced at how far removed they were from the swimming pool.

‘Garlan, take your own advice, don’t draw hasty conclusions’, Willas advised.

‘Don’t forget people can be deceiving. I’ve absolutely composed accusations made entirely of cards I held myself near the end of a game just to put others on the wrong leg’, Renly laughed.

‘Where was that scheming today, my dear betrothed?’ Loras questioned.

‘Ha ha. Funny. I may almost be a professional gambler but sometimes I play for fun without thinking strategy’, Renly huffed, picking up his glass from near Loras, looking over his shoulder.

Sansa bit her lip. Now Renly undoubtedly saw that Loras was in on the wrongness of Sansa’s statement.

He ruffled Loras’ curls, and Sansa tried desperately not to laugh to avoid further rousing Loras.

‘My turn then?’ Loras asked before picking up White.

Sansa encircled Plum. That was one part of the mystery solved.

The game continued, Garlan using Plum as well with the weapon he considered most likely.

In the end, Margaery first figured it out after Plum kept being thrown around.

Sansa was intercepted upon her return to the living room after a bathroom break.

‘Dear, a minute?’ Margaery requested, bouncing away from the wall she’d been leaning against.

‘All right’, Sansa agreed, pausing.

‘Are you alright, you’ve been awfully distracted.’

‘Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?’

‘It’s just… it’s not like you, to space out like that. Has something happened?’

‘No… Not’, Sansa frowned. She supposed Margaery had a point, she _had_ been distracted. But there wasn’t anything going on. Or well, not a bad thing.

‘Well, nothing to worry about’, Sansa smiled, wringing her hands together.

‘My’, Margaery said.

Sansa looked up from her folded hands.

‘Have you two –‘ she paused to watch Sansa’s reaction. ‘Last night?’ she guessed.

‘No… Not… Well… I shouldn’t be telling you all of this’, Sansa laughed.

‘You’ve told me everything. Always.’

‘But… he’s… he’s your _brother_.’

She could barely listen to Jeyne fawning over her brother, and those had been innocent remarks made by a thirteen year old at the time.

‘San, I heard beds creaking and women and men moaning, and walked into siblings having sex for the past… eleven years. Never Willas, he’s too stealthy, but I won’t die. I want you two to be happy. You two have been moving through my lives like wind-up toys for years, stiff as planks. It would be a _relief_ to know you two are finally getting some.’

Sansa scrunched her face, to her the idea of knowing about her siblings’ bedtime activities sounded revolting. The same level of revolting as hearing about her parents. But then as Willas had said, the Tyrells had always been very open with each other.

‘It wasn’t last night… it was… this morning… and well… it wasn’t… you know.’

Margaery furrowed her brows, but she smiled when challenged with guesswork.

‘It wasn’t sex?’

‘Not… really’, Sansa admitted, cheeks glowing.

She’d told Margaery of every disappoint, of when she felt awkward, of ridiculous propositions Joffrey had made. She’d asked her advice about hiding hickeys and making fingertip-shaped bruises on her breasts fade. This shouldn’t be so awkward, she’d indeed told Margaery much more detailed things. However, in Sansa’s defence, Margaery had virtually always dragged those confessions out of her.

‘Oral?’

‘No.’

Margaery chewed on her cheek.

‘Just some nice handiwork then?’

Sansa laughed, twisting her hands.

‘Sansa Stark, you poor thing, blushing straight through your concealer and powder. Chill girl’, she laughed, clapping her on the shoulder.

‘I didn’t expect you’d be so uptight after… Oh. This isn’t you being uptight, is it?’ Margaery guessed. Her grin widened. ‘You are horny’, Margaery sung.

‘Am not!’ Sansa quickly rebuked, taking a step back.

‘Are’, Margaery laughed.

Sansa turned away from Margaery.

‘Maybe a little.’

Margaery laughed behind her.

‘I knew it! Something had to be up with you. I know you too well.’

‘I wouldn’t be such a mess if he wasn’t so damn… well, you know… sexy I guess.’

‘Well, since that can’t be changed, that leaves only one thing you _can_ do.’

‘And what’s that?’

‘Make him as much of a mess as you are.’

‘What?’ Sansa laughed.

‘Come on, seduce him straight back.’

‘You’re ridiculous’, Sansa decided.

‘Come on, you frost queen, let’s get you downstairs before you have a meltdown over this’, Margaery laughed, throwing her arms around Sansa.

‘Ha ha’, Sansa sighed.

Leonette had put on a twenty year old adaptations of Florian and Jonquil, the music striking a nostalgic chord within Sansa.

She plopped down on her usual couch, watching the names of the actors slide by on a painted backdrop before the opening scene took place.

Margaery gave Sansa a glass of wine. Sansa gratefully accepted, and threw a glance over the couch to spot Garlan trying to exact revenge for the lost games of the past days by playing poker with Renly, Loras and Willas. Really, he should know better by now. But she could appreciate his attitude. Garlan liked winning and competing as much as any Tyrell, but no one could handle a defeat as gracefully as him.

Sansa took a sip and turned back towards the screen to watch Jonquil slipping out of an elegant white dress and stepping into a pool, joining her sisters and splashing around with them.

They excitedly chatted about the upcoming tourney, betting who would win and joking about potential suitors. Then appeared Florian, classical music swelling as he stumbled upon the sight of the young ladies as he hunted for deer in the woods.

The words burned on Sansa’s lips as she watched the movie, she could almost recite all phrases by now.

She couldn’t help but breathe the words of Jonquil’s song as she sat in her tower, torn between her incomprehensible attraction for Florian and the proper Lord Bracken who had been courting her during the tourney.

She gasped when the back of the couch gave behind her.

‘I didn’t know you could sing’, Willas whispered in her ear.

She turned around, finding him leaning on the couch behind her with his forearms. She put her hand on his bare forearm.

‘I didn’t know you gambled.’

‘Rarely’, he replied with a smile.

Sansa bit her lip, revelling in the way her stomach tied itself in knots in response to seeing his face.

‘Guess there’s still a lot we can discover about each other’, she breathed.

She noticed Willas swallowing, but before he could say anything they were startled by Renly.

‘What are you two whispering about? Didn’t know you two were such good friends before this holiday’, Renly asked as he scooped up his money.

Sansa froze.

‘Curious, Renly?’ Willas asked, turning away from Sansa and leaning against the couch with a confident posture.

‘Me? In secretive whisperings? _Always_.’

‘We were trying to seduce each other’, Willas replied with a calm cold voice.

Renly burst out in laughter. Loras frowned, pocketing his own money, looking between his brother and Sansa and nodding to himself as if he finally understood.

The rest of the room didn’t laugh out loud, only smiled, except for Sansa, who blushed.

On his last hiccups of laughter, Renly looked around, noticing his voice was not echoed.

‘Wait…’

He looked around, finding everyone’s grins increasing.

‘You _knew_? You all… knew?’ he demanded to know.

He looked back at Willas. ‘This isn’t a joke?’

Willas said nothing. Sansa wondered what his expression was, given that she could only see his ass from where she was sitting.

‘Shut it! You can’t pin down a Tyrell in a week! That takes months at least’, Renly protested.

‘Poor Renly, first in fashion, last in gossip’, Willas declared with a sad voice.

Renly turned towards Loras.

‘Did you know?’

‘Well… no but… it was suspicious that they’d shared a horse and dances and mistletoe kisses.’

Renly hung his head back.

‘I’m an idiot! How couldn’t I see?’

‘Really Renly, it is not the first time you’re unable to see a Tyrell making moves on someone’, Loras pointed out.

‘You’ll never let me live that down, will you?’ Renly asked.

‘A whole fucking year, you fuckwit. No, I’m not letting you live that down’, Loras frowned.

‘So, when was this?’ Renly asked, turning his attention back on Willas.

‘At least tell me it hasn’t been long.’

‘Christmas Eve’, Sansa supplied.

Renly raised his hand, but bit down on his finger instead.

Garlan roared with laughter now.

‘You fucking two! You _both_ stole my day!’ he shouted, pointing his finger at Garlan.

‘And the best part is that she knew’, Garlan laughed. ‘She knew and she still did it.’

‘At least I was discrete enough to stay quiet, and not steal the limelight’, Sansa pointed out.

‘You knew? Leonette and Margaery cried in choir.

Sansa froze.

Shit.

‘Well, technically you could’ve known Marge, but you were having a beauty nap in the car’, Garlan pointed out.

‘You had no trouble waking me up with an ice cold shower for no good reason at all!’ Margaery shrieked.

‘Sansa!’

‘I think I’ll go to bed’, Sansa decided. She deeply regretted not seeing the end of the movie. But it was getting way too hot underneath her feet.

‘Do Alerie and –‘

‘No’, Willas shot.

Sansa paused at the end of the couch. He wouldn’t reveal it, would he? There would be so much staring and analysing them then. And probably probing questions of Olenna.

Margaery yanked her back to the couch.

‘Now, _I_ am going to kill _you’_ , Margaery decided.

‘Please don’t, Sansa begged. ‘We’re the best of friends, remember?’

‘Well, you should have thought about that before you started keeping dirty little secrets.’

‘Garlan thought you’d tell’, Sansa squeaked, self-preservation jumping into action at the last second.

Margaery jumped up.

‘I take offence at that’, she exclaimed, shooting daggers at Garlan who lifted his hands in surrender.

Willas moved to sit down beside Sansa, stealing her glass of wine and gulping it down.

‘Let’s not start a war until it’s light again. Then you can fight each other outdoors’, he declared with amusement in his voice.

Her eyes slid down, drinking in his undone buttons and rolled up sleeves. Her hand reached out, moving over to lay on his leg.

He looked up at her as Margaery and Garlan started arguing.

‘Was that the smartest idea?’ Sansa quietly asked.

‘I thought it would be funny. And it was. Until.’

‘Until Renly realized he was last to know. He really does fit in the family, sore loser’, she joked.

‘Very much, there’s a reason he’s marrying into ours’, Willas nodded, face severe.

‘Oh dear, I’ll never make it that way. Never mind losing or competitions’, she quietly laughed. She paused, realizing her insinuation.

‘Well the children need a pacifier’, Willas suggested, nodding at Margaery and Garlan who were slapping each other with t-rex hands as they laughed.

Sansa looked up at him, her heart jumping as he welcomed the idea.

‘Mother got in too, after all’, he smiled as he watched how Loras moved over to tickle Margaery and pry her away from Garlan.

‘But!’ Margaery protested.

‘He’s right, you can’t shut up. And some people enjoy being surprised by an engagement’, Loras laughed. ‘Go drink some wine, Marge’, Loras suggested.

‘Oh you!’

‘We should go’, Willas suggested.

Sansa agreed, jumping up when he rose from the couch. She glanced back to see whether they were watched.

Loras got attacked now, and Garlan and Renly rushed over to help break up the playfight. Leonette winked at her, shoving crisps in her face with her hand. Of course she’d stay behind the watch the chaos unfold.

Once safely removed Sansa allowed herself to laugh.

‘Oh God, Garlan should have just staid silent’, Sansa laughed.

‘Yeah well, he isn’t the brightest star on the sky’, Willas grinned as he climbed on the stairs.

‘That’s rude’, Sansa protested, giving him a slight push.

‘Am I wrong? He just lost thirty silver stags while he knows he always loses strategy and card games.’

‘You’re horrible’, Sansa laughed.

‘So you don’t disagree?’

‘Garlan is charming and sweet and kind and funny and –‘

‘A little bit silly’, Willas finished.

Sansa laughed as Willas pulled her along.

‘Well, you know what they say’, she tried.

‘What do they say?’ he asked, pausing in front of her door.

She bit her lip, courage abandoning her.

‘Uhm.’

‘Well? I’m very interested to hear what they say’, Willas decided, taking a step towards her. She took a step back, bumping into her door.

‘Lucky in cards, unlucky in love and vice versa.’

Willas’ arms came up on either side of her.

‘Loras, Renly and I would love to have a chat with you to dispute that claim’, he decided.

‘Would you?’ she asked breathlessly. He leaned in, face inches removed from her own.

She could smell the wine on his lips.

‘I don’t know. Do you have reason to complain? About love?’

‘I-‘

He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Heat pooled between her legs, her core throbbing with anticipation.

‘Hm?’ he asked, bending down to trail his nose alongside her neck.

‘I –‘

‘I don’t’, he decided, pressing his lips against her neck and lighting her on fire.

She hauled him against her, letting out a breath of relief as he was finally pressed against her.

‘That’s what I thought’, Willas decided, throwing open her bedroom door.

Sansa was doing her eyeliner as there was a knocking on her door. That was new.

‘Come in.’

Leonette and Margaery stumbled in, sporting suspiciously big grins.

Sansa’s heart stopped.

‘What?’

That could never be a good sign.

‘Is Willas in the bathroom?’ Margaery asked.

‘I – I don’t think so’, Sansa muttered.

‘Why-‘

But Margaery was already at the bathroom door, pulling it open. Turned out Willas indeed wasn’t in it.

‘What are you two doing he – ‘

‘Shh, this is going to be so funny’, Leonette grinned, skipping to the bathroom.

Sansa shook her head, finishing her eyeliner before following them into the bathroom.

‘What is the meaning of this?’ Sansa demanded as Margaery and Leonette pressed their ears against the door adjacent to Willas’ bedroom.

‘We’re helping’, Leonette whispered.

Nothing she’d heard the past week had sounded more terrifying than that.

‘What?’ Sansa whisper-shouted.

‘I figured, after yesterday, well. You being dense about my ability to set you up with Willas. And Willas not having been in a relationship for five years…’ Margaery explained, pressing her ear flat against the door.

‘You what?’ Sansa asked, inching closer.

‘We thought… Well, you might lack the tools’, Leonette decided. ‘No need to thank us’, Leonette grinned.

‘Oh, this is going to be _so_ good’, Margaery grinned at Leonette.

‘You what?!’ Sansa demanded.

Her coin dropped. She didn’t know if Margaery was some all-knowing wizard. And it was awfully preposterous of her to either assume or meddle in their love life, but it might offer an explanation, beside Willas’ insecurity, as to why they’d been so slow.

‘You shouldn’t listen in. It’s rude. And a breach of privacy.’

‘Those are my condoms that are being given away, I’m invested in this’, Leonette decided.

She sank to her knees and put her ear against the door as well.

This was all horribly intrusive but she’d be damned if she let Leonette and Margaery hear something that concerned her, without her hearing it too.

‘Can’t a brother speak to his brother without anything being behind it?’ Garlan innocently asked.

‘In this household? Rarely’, Willas joked.

‘Come on, I always came to your room with stories and questions!’ Garlan protested.

‘You still have questions I need to answer for you?’ Willas asked.

Sansa bit her lip, she could just hear the smile in his voice. The butterflies in her belly were awake too.

‘No. Actually, I thought… Well, perhaps the roles are a bit reversed today’, Garlan started.

‘Not… Not that I think I can teach you anything. You can probably still teach me some tricks and stuff but, you know… Well, you don’t. But… Crap. Should’ve gone through this with Leo before.’

Leonette held a hand against her lips to keep from giggling.

‘Garlan?’ Willas asked, voice growing suspicious.

‘I thought… Well, you might need some help.’

‘Your help?’

‘Ugh. Fuck it. I just wondered, well, with how fast everything is going with Sansa… and neither of you probably prepared for that when packing your suitcases… if you had everything you needed?’

‘Garlan…’

‘Do you?’

Sansa bit her lip, leaning forward.

‘No, I don’t. Not even at home’, Willas replied with a sigh.

‘Gar- c’mon. That’s extensive. How about you and L – ‘

‘ – We still have more than enough.’

‘How much did you pack?’ Willas asked incredulously.

Margaery shot a grin at Leonette, who now looked away.

‘Enough’, Garlan replied with a laugh.

‘You don’t have to use them. It’s not my business what you do with her. Just keep them then. Consider it repayment for me always stealing yours.’

‘I knew it was you!’ Willas exclaimed.

Margaery almost cackled, but managed to cut herself off just in time.

‘Hey! C’mon. Some had to be taken by Loras, at least. There were really times you accused me when I did nothing.’

‘But Loras was fifteen when I left the house!’ Willas protested.

‘Yeah, some were definitely stolen by Loras’, Garlan repeated.

‘I don’t want to know.’

‘Hey, at least it was safe’, Garlan quipped.

‘Oh you.’

‘So you and Stark, huh? You know if by now you’ve forgotten how to–‘

‘Stop there.’

‘What, can’t I show some brotherly interest? You know everything about Leo and me.’

‘And that’s double as much as I would have liked knowing’, Willas pointed out.

Sansa bit her lip, sitting back on her haunches.

Margaery was shaking, both hands pressed against her mouth as she looked at Leonette.

‘We’re done here’, Leonette decided, mustering all her remaining dignity as she walked out of the bathroom.

Sansa moved away as well, Margaery coming out last and closing the door.

‘We were just looking out for your interests Sansa’, Margaery said.

‘And perhaps we hoped to hear Willas being embarrassed for once’, Leonette sighed.

‘That backfired’, Sansa pointed out.

Leonette blushed, turning towards the window.

‘You know, Garlan would like to convey his thanks for keeping his secret and apologized for giving it away last night. He sorely regretted that decision’, Leonette said, changing the topic.

Sansa chuckled.

‘Yeah, bet he does.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really wanted to be consistent. But here I am, having 3000 words Willas pov in my document. I wanted to write his pov on a certain moment just to grasp him better, but they just flowed so naturally. I'll see if I end up with his pov or Sansa's; but right now it's very tempting. 
> 
> Happy New Year, mes chers  
> Good luck with your work, exams, school and life!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I failed keeping the pov consistent the entirety of this story, I can't be very mad with myself.  
> I wrote this chapter from both their pov's separately, but Willas' is much more fun.  
> So here ya go, enjoy Willas' pov.  
> x

_**Willas POV** _

She was a vision.

The book in his hands was a mere dust particle at the outskirts of his vision as he watched her smiling sweetly behind her teacup. Her smile increased to the point her teeth glimmered when Margaery drew an exploding kitten from the card deck and gave a yell.

She wasn’t so uncompetitive as to not be glad when someone came close to losing, but she didn’t take the same delight in winning his family did. But he was starting to suspect that it might be something unequivocally Sansa to underscore her feelings, thoughts and desires.

Every time she laughed, her instinct was to stop laughing. Every time she spoke about her opinions, she tried to soften them. And every time she looked at him…

Her gaze flickered to the side, checking whether he was still sitting where she last saw him. He smiled at her, watching her expression waver before her teeth came up to cover her lip, her eyes quickly flickering towards the table again.

… she withdrew.

He’d missed her signs so often because of it. From their first encounter he thought she’d been the sweetest kind of girl. Even in his horrible state he’d felt a kernel of desire and comfort around her, but she always withdrew, growing more polite and uptight. Time after time, he had gone between phases of believing her to be perfectly indifferent and perfectly attracted to him.

Had he only dared to speak more, do more, he would have seen how she blossomed as she now did during their interactions, the icy façade melting as quickly as water on a hot plate. She was afraid to show anything unless she was encouraged. Old Willas would never have hesitated. But new Willas had needed confirmation.

It was a silly thing, really. He had a very successful life and career, and an entire family and multiple friends telling him he was handsome. Yet it had only taken one woman to topple his self-esteem when it was fragile. Worse, she’d been a nobody, an unknown. Her opinion shouldn’t even have mattered. But perhaps it did because she, unlike his family, would not mill her words to comfort him.

_Words can’t hurt you unless they state something you fear to be true about yourself._

He’d decided to not open himself to such types of rejection anymore, until he felt confident enough to not let negative words hurt him. The mere idea of opening himself had been off-putting.

But Sansa Stark.

She’d made him want to throw it all away.

He hadn’t wanted to see a soul during that challenging first year, no one except the people who were forced to love him unconditionally. But he’d liked her company too much to go back to his room.

Just seeing people dance had been painful, but seeing her laugh in Oberyn’s arms had made him want to stand up and offer to swoop her away.

And kissing her had made him want to take her right on that counter, no second thought given to himself.

He’d never felt as much as his old self as when they talked and teased and laughed. He’d slipped into banter and flirting with her so easily he’d only realized just what directions they were heading when he almost kissed her when they were stargazing. After deliberately putting off dating for years, he’d thought starting to date would have been an equally conscious decision, especially given how he knew things wouldn’t be like before. Even though he still wanted the same normal things.

He wanted a girlfriend, eventually a wife and a child.

He wanted someone to laugh with, to talk to, to do every mundane everyday thing with. Someone who understood him, matched him in values and made him feel loved and normal. He’d expected it would have taken some years of searching, as he believed women wouldn’t be so eager to date a domestic disabled viscount as they would be to date a hot glamorous racer.

He hadn’t expected his sister would quite literally deposit the perfect girl on his lap, carrying the seal of approval of all his siblings. He might be hesitant, but not stupid. Tyrell men were slow, but they knew what they wanted. If there was one constant, it was that no matter their amount of bedpartners, there was only ever one real long-term partner. Only one attraction that went beyond lust, and it always ended with a ring.

Apparently there had been lust from the first day he saw her, but he decided that didn’t count as much as their second encounter. When he’d felt her pull on his heartstrings when she looked at him, and managed to fill him with an amount of calm and hope no one else had managed to inspire in him in so long.

Sansa downed her tea to the dregs when Margaery put down a card with a grin, a defeated smile appearing on her lips as she put down one card, and pulled one from the stack, cringing. Margaery cackled, but Sansa bore her loss with recommendable calm.

Was this it? He could barely believe he’d rolled into his relationship with barely a second thought. But it had been stronger than him. She caught his eye, only good words fell from her lips, always the right ones. He chased those smiles and blushes like a starving man a meal. He sought her out like a trekking animal did a pool of water in a desert. And even when it was awkward and he wanted to flee like a green boy, he was too selfish to deny himself her presence. That had never happened before, he used to quit things that were awkward and avoid difficult conversations.

He looked down, the words in front of him blurred. Useless. It was absolutely useless.

He clasped his book shut and rose, feeling his neck prickle as he left the room. Her eyes were on him. A cruel voice within tried telling him he’d lost his sex appeal but yesterday, when they hadn’t even made it past a certain wall, her eyes had been so focussed on him that it left no doubt about her wanting him.

He pushed open his bedroom door. The silky flower scent of her shampoo had seeped through the cracks of the bathroom door. He opened the door. The mirrors were still partially misted over, the damp heat tickling the skin of his neck and hands. The bathroom was still as neat as ever, but the traces of her occupation were undeniable, from the scent of her shampoo to the hot pink towels and the carefully cleaned mirrors that she’d tried to take the moisture off too soon.

He picked up the Squeegee, putting it back in its normal place hanging on the outside of the shower, pausing before going outside when something caught his eye. He sat down on the ledge of the bath, finger moving over the side, coming up covered in faint glitter. She’d gotten quite a few bathing products from Margaery for Christmas.

His throat ran dry, a vision formed of her lounging in glittering multi-coloured bathwater, her body naked and glistening. He blinked, trying to get it out of his head, but instead the daydream shifted to the two of them sitting in it together, her wedged between his legs, her head thrown back against his shoulder.

He shook his head. This wouldn’t do. He shut the bathroom behind him, throwing the window open wide to cool down.

Garlan’s generous gifts were gleaming on his sheets in the late afternoon light.

_Why not?_

He sat down on his bed, picking up a candy coloured wrapper between his fingertips. A small stab of shame filled him as he remembered having to throw away his old box once it expired two years ago.

He wanted her. Gods, how he wanted her.

And now he had the tools. After the way she responded to him he didn’t doubt she’d be amenable. They’d slept beside each other for three nights now. And yesterday she’d even pulled him atop of her, eyelashes not even flickering when his stump had connected with one of her legs. The first day, he’d grown soft when she’d gotten too close, just the thought of her touching him had been a cold shower. But yesterday, when she’d been moaning like a vixen and pressing herself against him, all concern for himself had fled his mind. She _wanted_ him.

It hardly seemed fair keeping two people apart who wanted each other.

Yet. There was always that doubt at the back of his mind. He hated doubting. Especially since his mind did not doubt, it was just a stupid feeling. He sighed, accepting that perhaps the trained technique of naming his fears head on and walking through every potential scenario.

Willas went over everything he was certain of first.

Firstly, he and Sansa wanted each other. Secondly, Sansa would not reject him. Thirdly, Sansa was polite and wouldn’t draw attention to anything that went awry or wasn’t perfect. These were good reassuring facts. Nothing could go bad enough that would mean the end of them, unless he treated her improperly, which he wouldn’t do.

Then he went over everything that could go wrong.

First, things could be awkward when he had to take off his clothes. He feared the magic of the moment would be lost. Secondly Sansa, despite herself, could still be put off a little. Or he could be put off by himself. Thirdly, he would not be able to use the positions he usually did, or not without modifications. And last, if they succeeded, he would still have to get out of bed to get ready. And then he’d have to hobble around, which was very anticlimactic and unsexy.

Now he had to reason why any awkwardness might be bad enough to warrant abstaining from something he wanted. Willas hated things being awkward. But it was not the end of the world. With Sansa, those awkward moments and difficult conversations were always followed by a something good, a deepened understanding or a new achievement. They could get through it, perhaps even reach a satisfying end to the evening despite it. He supposed a solution could be already being in bed before they started, like they had been the past couple of days. However, he wanted it to be natural for her. He wanted them to have the anticipation and the exciting conversations and the breathless kisses against a door as they both felt themselves crossing the edge of the inevitable. He wanted to throw her on a bed and disrobe her slowly. He wanted that normalcy. But he couldn’t have that unless he was willing to pay the price of that awkward moment. It was up to him, there were two paths to choose between.

The second point was a very real possibility. Perhaps it would help if they kept the lights off. He raked his hand through his hair. He hadn’t expected to ever be the type who’d want to keep the lights off. But it would at least alleviate some of the pressure, for now. He knew that Sansa would never point it out if she felt put off. If she would even feel that way. Because she had appeared to be perfectly fine the past few days. He still had his hands, mouth and goods. He didn’t need his bottom leg to get her in the mood again. At least he could be confident about that. As to himself, he had been afraid. The first night they’d slept together that fear had overpowered him, but yesterday morning and this morning he was back in the moment within five seconds of his leg accidentally bumping against her. He just couldn’t allow himself to get hung up on his feelings of self-consciousness.

Point three was a valid concern. It had been years. Last time he’d been able to rip his clothes off and do the same tango he always did without having to wonder about what he could and couldn’t do. The past years, not a single doctor had ever addressed the point of sexuality in his recovery journey, only vaguely referencing that things would be “a bit different”. This year they just said to abstain the eight weeks and be very careful the first six months. But as to the how, that was one big question mark. And such information wasn’t exactly readily available online. And Willas, for whom that was one of the sorest spots, had not liked asking his physical therapists or psychologists about that. Oberyn knew, though, and comforted him by constantly sending him position he believed Willas could do. Willas knew that point three had no remedies. Except perhaps… it wouldn’t hurt to actually test and see what he could still do. He’d always avoided it, not needing the confrontation with his limits as it didn’t have a direct importance. But it did now. Perhaps he should.

Point four, well, that was a certainty. There was no way he would be able to stay in bed. He surmised that asking Sansa to turn around or leave the room would draw just as much attention to it or ruin the mood as just getting out. But what was the worst thing about it? Yes, that would happen. But then what? He’d be awkward, yes, but this would already be awkward for him to some extent. It could not be avoided. Sansa could see him. Yes, but Sansa knew. She was too sweet to stare or comment on it. There was no point in hiding it. He sighed.

Was it so much to ask for it to run perfectly? Yes. Because the kind of perfection he wanted was not attainable. He was asking for a fully functional leg and he hadn’t had that in five years. In fact, he should be glad. With his leg, maimed as it had been, he would have been in constant pain. He would have been on medication, he wouldn’t have had the agility he had now. He wouldn’t have been able to walk in the snow, ride a horse, dance with Sansa or move around in bed. No, this was his situation. It was the most perfect the situation could ever be. Change what you can’t accept, accept what you can’t change. It would just have to be that way.

If there was one thing he was good at, it was at reaching goals. He’d run track, he’d raced, and what had always told apart the winners from the losers was that the losers focused on how to manage the obstacles while the winners focussed on the finish. Yes, there were obstacles and potential dangers, but a good technique and plan to win were more important for a victory.

He had his target. And there were struggles, definitely. But now it was time to plan how to get to the finish line. And whatever obstacle got in his way despite the plan would be dealt with swiftly. He could not allow it to stand between him and what he wanted.

It had been a truly horrible year for both the world and him. Pandemics, politics, amputation, flirtations with depression and physical therapy, and all that. But he had also controlled every part of this year. He’d chosen what to do with his life. He’d fought his way to his current point of progress. He was ready to leave his four year dry spell and insecurity behind in this shitty year. He was ready to start the new year fresh and unburdened. He’d never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but he also wasn’t one for dragging along unnecessary dead weight. Literally.

He didn’t know whether he wore his intentions on his sleeve, but from the way Sansa stammered and failed to meet his gaze during dinner, he suspected she knew. He was almost amused to see her trying and failing to keep up with Margaery’s conversation.

The other siblings proposed a war inducing boardgame after dinner, and Willas gallantly proposed to make some mulled wine. Everyone happily agreed, even his parents and grandmother, as they sat around the table to set up the game. Willas paused at the door, and found Sansa’s eyes already on him. He offered her a small smile, the corners of his mouth lifting further when she smiled back and rose.

He plucked a few bottles from the wine fridge.

He heard the door opening.

‘Will my sous-chef grab the oranges?’ he asked. It wasn’t even the sound of her shoes or her scent, he could just feel it was her who’d entered the kitchen.

No reply came, but he heard her footsteps shuffling towards the fruit basket. He walked over to the counter.

He took out a chopping board, knife, the spices and sugar and a pot, handing over what she needed.

‘Thanks’, she said, putting down the knife and cutting board. Her fingers brushed over the wooden plank.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘Yeah’, she admitted, her voice breathless in a way that betrayed her feelings entirely.

He rolled up his sleeves.

‘Wouldn’t want to get my shirt dirty.’

‘N-no’, she stammered.

He could feel her eyes burning holes in his arms as he uncorked the first bottle, and then the second.

‘You uhm… Planning on cutting those?’ he asked as he noticed she wasn’t moving. He delighted in her expression, unable to keep a smirk off his face.

Her mouth opened and closed, before she turned towards her oranges.

‘On it.’

Willas poured one bottle, and then the next.

He glanced to the side, noticing Sansa was biting her lip as she cut an orange. The spark of desire dropped in his stomach, igniting a fire. He wanted to bite that lip. He could already predict the sound that would elicit. She looked up as well, a shy smile appearing when her eyes connected with his.

He took two steps to the side, until he was behind her. Her shoulders straightened. She was alert. Anticipation radiated off of her.

He put his hands on her hips, testing the feel of the soft flesh beneath her clothes.

He could hear her inhaling, her shoulders rising ever so slightly before her posture slackened against him, her head coming to rest against him, giving him easy access to everything he needed.

He wanted to feel her. Needed to feel her warmth and softness against him, around him. Everywhere. He buried his face in her neck, his hands sliding up and underneath her blouse. Her skin was scorching hot. Burning.

‘Willas’, she breathed.

His heart thudded heavily in response. She made him feel green all over again.

He turned her around and against the counter. Her lips still carried the taste of her cherry lip balm. It was such a delight to hold her. Such an honour too, that after dating what he could only surmise were two inbred assholes first class, she still opened herself up to him so readily.

He could feel her shaking hands coming to rest on his back, her nails digging in as she tried to keep herself upright. It sent shivers down his spine, it always did. He liked that between her sweetness there was still a sharp bite.

‘Willas’, she sighed against his lips. ‘The… the oranges’, she muttered.

He leant back a little, hand sliding over the cutting board behind her, fingers curling around a slice.

‘This one?’ he asked, before bending it double and biting down, yanking all the juicy flesh from it before throwing to peel away.

She swallowed.

‘I thought we needed that’, she muttered.

He pressed his lips against hers. She gasped, and he smiled when her tongue ventured out of her mouth, licking up some of the juice from around their mouths.

His hands slipped under her skirt, moving up towards her buttocks. He wasn’t much of an ass man, but he did love holding her there.

She gasped, her own hands hesitantly moving down. He knew she always paused at his jeans, ever since their first gentle exploration. He’d caused it, he knew. And he had been very grateful for het gentle acceptance. But right now, he really wanted her to hold him.

He pressed her against him, hard, not caring that she would feel the evidence of his desire.

‘Oh.’

She had such a lovely way of saying it. How queer it was, that such a simple vowel could sounds so distinctively Northern. Her hands stole into the pockets of his jeans, pressing him closer to her.

He paused, letting out a deep breath. Registering his racing heartbeat, her shallow breathing, the impatience in his blood and the absolute sense of… contentment and eagerness. It felt right. It all felt so utterly right. He wished to pause and bottle up the feeling so he could come back to it every time life swallowed him whole and he needed to remember what being alive felt like.

He knew he was quiet for too long, and feared that after his previous hesitancy, Sansa could easily misread it. He pressed a soft lingering kiss against her lips, and another to her forehead.

He could feel her hands, softly sliding out of his pockets.

‘You were right. The fire’s on’, he decided.

Sansa nodded, giving him a small smile.

‘We shouldn’t be hasty like this.’

‘Hasty’, she peeped.

And it was all so utterly comical, her big eyes and open mouth, he couldn’t help but take her hands in his own – belatedly realizing he must have covered her skirt, leg and now her hand with sticky orange juice – and smile.

‘We should take our time. Tonight.’

He could feel her hands tremble in his own before he kissed them and turned back towards the stove.

‘Unless, of course, you rather didn’t.’

‘No! No I… That is’, she let out a pitiful whine when she couldn’t get out of her words.

She cut the second orange with much more force than necessary, Willas noticed with amusement. Willas threw it in and looked at her as she absentmindedly sucked the juice from one hand.

He smiled, taking her other, causing her to pause.

‘Allow me?’

She only stared as he lifted her other hand, wrapping his lips around every finger, one by one, and licking them until they stopped being sticky.

She swallowed, her eyes slipping shut. Muttering something incomprehensible but he was sure he could make out Leonette’s and Margaery’s names.

‘What’s that?’

‘Nothing. Nothing’, she quickly replied, stepping in to kiss him.

‘Is it ready?’

‘I suppose it is. Yes.’

‘Good’, she decided, quickly fetching the required amount of glasses.

They delivered the glasses, sitting down at the large table.

Loras Tyrell was going bankrupt.

It was not a fact he delighted in. But despite the misfortune of constantly landing on expensive squares that were already taken, barely able to purchase two spots himself, he had persevered bravely.

However, his luck had finally run out, and on Willas’ square, no less. A very expensive square. A small victorious smile pulled on Willas’ lips. He was already ahead of all others. When Loras went bankrupt, all his property went to Willas. This would secure his imminent win.

But then Loras swung his head around, looking over all players, before settling his eyes on Sansa, a sly grin appearing on his face.

‘Sansa, would you like to buy all my property for two silvers?’

‘What, but you’re going bankrupt’, Alerie muttered.

‘You can’t do that’, Willas breathed.

‘Oh, but I can. I can sell anything I want at any time. And I want to sell it now’, he decided with a smug grin.

‘But why her? Pick me! I’m your favourite sibling’, Margaery protested.

Sansa blinked as everybody started arguing.

Willas was reading through the manual, crap. Loras _could_ do that.

‘Because, dear little rose of mine, Willas is going to win this game. Grandmother and Sansa are the only ones with a chance to beat him. Grandma is closest to him so I’m making sure there’s two people able to beat him.’

‘But why can’t I win?’ protested Willas.

‘Dude, really? You’ve done way too much winning’, Garlan said.

‘Listen, I’m petty. I don’t win. None of you win’, Loras decided. ‘I’m not losing from my siblings.’

‘Your words, not mine’, Garlan grinned.

‘And of course, I love causing a bit of conflict’, Loras decided, looking between Sansa and Willas.

Sansa handed Loras the two coins and he happily handed over his ownerships.

And thus Loras went bankrupt, and all Willas got were two small coins while Sansa kept two significant properties.

The next turn was Willas’, and he immediately landed on one of Sansa’s newly acquired properties.

‘Your money, my lord.’

‘I would have thought you to play fair’, Willas sighed, handing over the money.

‘It was fair, that’s why you didn’t protest after reading the manual. A delight doing business with you, thanks’, she said, gracefully accepting the money.

‘The pleasure’s all mine’, he wryly replied, his gaze unsettling her.

A few rounds after, Margaery decided to sell a property to Sansa, since Sansa had more funds to get it to the highest rent which would cost the other players a lot whenever they landed on it. She too decided that it would be more fun to boycott Willas than attempt a win, given she would never catch up with the leading trio.

‘You’re conspiring’, Willas decided.

‘We just love seeing you lose, Willas’, Margaery grinned. ‘Besides, fuck this game anyway. I can’t even be nice if I wanted to, charging everyone the lowest price, unless I accept to lose. Another form of government isn’t even possible. It’s eat or be eaten. You know monopoly was actually made to show how bad capitalism actually is?’ Margaery asked, eyes lighting up.

‘Have you –‘ Alerie silenced Mace with a hand on his arm.

‘We will not be discussing the economy tonight.’

‘A pity’, Olenna sighed as she stretched her hand towards Willas, demanding the money she was owed after he landed on her property.

‘It is a good exercise of the mind to enter an intellectual discussion.’

‘What is the point of an intellectual discussion in this house regarding that topic? No one listens to each other, sticks to their own beliefs and starts yelling, cursing, slamming doors or trial-by-combating it out to show the gods favoured their opinion. Everyone just monologues and then war happens. I won’t have it’, Alerie decided.

‘Then, dear, you shouldn’t have decided to let them all play monopoly.’ Olenna rolled her eyes, handing Margaery cash now that it was her turn.

In the end, Olenna won, Sansa narrowly skipping to second place over Willas with four silvers. She had wondered, prior to playing, how many times the Tyrells would allow her to best them in a game before they drew the line. She was barely able to meet Willas’ intense gaze.

‘I’ll take away the glasses’, Sansa offered.

‘Thank you dear, I’ll put away the pans and start the dishwasher then’, Alerie replied.

Willas wondered whether it was a deliberate attempt of Sansa to get away from the others. But given the way his siblings taunted him due to his loss, despite that all of them had lost harder than him, he quickly called out their behaviour as insufferable, venturing outside himself.

He bumped into Sansa who was just on her way back from the kitchen.

‘I can’t believe you conspired against me.’

‘We didn’t conspire. They just made me offers I couldn’t refuse’, she exclaimed, taking a step back towards the wall.

‘You knew they only did it to make me lose though,’ Willas pointed out as he took a step closer towards her, ‘that makes you an accomplice to a conspiracy.’

‘I didn’t cheat. It was fair game. Refusing them would have been letting you win, and that’s not the intention of the game. Is it?’ she smiled.

Wicked little thing, with her eyes glimmering as she looked at him. She knew exactly how to pull off the innocent look with her great blue eyes. A delightful play.

He relished in the two level game, their wordplay barely concealing their intentions. It was a game he was used to playing and right now he was playing it like any normal person and with Sansa, of all people. His heart rejoiced at another recovered normalcy of dating he was able to partake in again.

‘No’, he agreed.

‘Though I am sorry for your loss. That must suck’, she nodded.

‘Yes, I don’t quite know how I shall recover’, he played, leaning against the wall.

‘Perhaps I can help carry the burden, comfort you?’

‘Oh definitely, I’m in great need of comforting.’

Sapphire eyes blinked at him, her mouth falling open before she recovered herself.

‘Yes. Some stroking of your poor bruised ego and such’, she replied.

He raised his eyebrows, and muttered a soft ‘Oh’ when the double-entendre registered in her brain. 

‘My thoughts exactly’, Willas grinned.

She bit her lip, eyes darting back to the doorway to the living room.

‘What, now? But we can’t just disappear now. They’ll notice.’

‘We’ve gone upstairs separately, sometimes with over an hour between the past few days and yet I’ve had by now everyone except Margaery prying into my bedroom affairs. And I strongly suspect that’s only because she gets her intel from you.’

Sansa didn’t reply, confirming his suspicions. He could just see her mind working. She wasn’t the most expressive with her words, but her intonation and face read like an open book. She nodded. 

‘Alright. But I’m telling Margaery I’m going to bed.’

‘Sure. Fine by me.’

That gave him some time to get a head start on the stairs. By the time she was upstairs, he was waiting for her.

‘Oh Mother, the look she gave me’, Sansa laughed as Willas pulled her against him.

‘What look?’

‘You know what look!’

Willas allowed his mask to crack, smiling as he pushed her against the bedroom door.

‘At this rate, your parents will find out in an hour’, she pointed out.

He had considered this. They hadn’t been open, but neither had he taken an effort to hide it. It was a departure from the usual. Back when he lived at home he feared his prying family’s involvement. He was a teenager back then, the thought of prying questions, embarrassing siblings and so forth had horrified him. And as a young twenty-something he’d decided that affairs that weren’t clearly defined or long-lasting weren’t important enough for them to know.

But there was no use in shielding Sansa, she knew his family already and could bear them just fine. Nor was there any use to hide it to prevent prying, as Margaery probably knew from day one, Garlan and Leonette from day two and well, keeping it from Loras was hardly fair by the end of the week. In the end, though they were exasperating, it wasn’t half as bad as he’d imagined it would be.

He wasn’t afraid of his parents being embarrassing or meddling, but this was Sansa Stark. This was his sister’s best friend who’d been invited to family parties before and would be invited to weddings in the future. Announcing a relationship with her would be a deal, if only because the relationship falling through would cause for an awkward atmosphere at future events. His parents would believe Willas didn’t rush into a relationship with a girl that was so closely connected to his family. They would expect it to be serious.

‘Give my father’s density some credit, next morning is a safer bet’, he decided.

‘You really are just as mean as the rest of them’, she pointed out with a laugh as he inched closer, wrapping his hand around the knob.

‘Naah, Garlan’s pretty sweet. The rest of us are bitches.’

Sansa fell into the room with a laugh.

He could only look as she bumped into his closet, her chest rising and falling quickly as she recovered from her fit of laughter. She made his entire mind and body pause, the same way a storm or a beautiful moonlit sky made him stop and stare.

He forced himself into action, taking her into his arms, hands sliding to the places he’d come to love holding the past few days.

‘You’ve landed on my property. Paying time’, he decided.

‘Oh dear, what’s the price?’

He cocked his head, assessing her form.

‘It’ll have to be that dress.’

‘Shit. But fair’s fair I guess’, she admitted, growing a bit more shy.

He closed the door behind them, turning just her time to see her pull the dress with its dozen small buttons over her head in one swoop, leaving a most enticing vision of her in her tights and bra.

He pushed her on to bed, sitting beside her. She wasted no time to sit on his lap. Her eyes begged confirmation. He responded with a smile before kissing her.

Her knees rose up, legs curling around him.

‘Mmh, your beard oil always smells so good’, she laughed before pressing a kiss to his cheek and leaning back. Her hands cupped his cheeks, thumbs brushing through his beard and along the edges.

He’d had one for almost four years, and yet this was the first time a girl had commented on it.

‘Robb has one too, but it’s just an inch long bush. He doesn’t do anything with it’, she prattled as she traced a finger along the line above the edge of his jaw.

‘And is that a good thing or a bad thing?’

‘You both look good with your styles’, she smiled.

‘Just good? Oh heavens, how many beatings does my ego need to take?’

‘Oh heavens, how much more flattery does it need?’ Sansa quipped before lovingly pressing her lips against his.

‘You know, I just realized. You’re on my property. You need to pay.’

‘This is my bed’, Willas laughed.

‘But we’ve shared it for some days now. And this is my side’, she pointed out.

‘Fine, what’s your price?’ he laughed.

‘That shirt’, she replied, voice assured.

‘As my lady commands.’

‘She does.’

He quirked an eyebrow at her.

‘Bossy, aren’t you?’ he joked as he undid the first few buttons.

He almost missed the flicker of doubt and worry in her eyes as he pulled it over his head.

‘I like that though’, he confirmed.

Her mouth dropped open ever so slightly. She broke eye contact, planting her palms against his chest.

‘You are very handsome’, she declared.

She leaned back even more, so much so that Willas had to hold her with both arms to keep her from falling straight off his lap. She made a picture frame with her hands.

‘There it is. The perfect thirst trap.’

‘Yeah alright, enough’, he laughed, pulling her back against his chest.

‘You’ve been around Margaery for too long, you weren’t such a joker when I first met you.’

‘I was trying not to embarrass myself when I first met you. And it’s kind of hard for me to play it straight if you keep on teasing and joking so much.’

‘We’re _all_ a horrible influence on you.’

‘Oh definitely, you lot ruin me for everyone else. I can’t function around people with a low sarcasm threshold anymore’, she smiled, hiding her face in the crevice of his neck. For some reason, hearing her say so gave him an odd sense of satisfaction. 

He gave into his natural need to embrace her in return, closing his eyes.

‘You know… If this is your side, that means that your legs…’ he started, opening his eyes and looking over his shoulder, ‘are on my side.’

She had only loosely wrapped them around him, so her feet just grazed what was about the middle of the bed.

‘Oh.’

‘Time to cash in again.’

He brought his hands up to her bra, the black patterns felt rough, while the pale pink flowers felt silky smooth to the touch. He moved his hands to the tall backside that was lined with five hooks. He only realized he’d gone nearly five years without practice once the thing was open. _Like riding a bike_ , he assured himself.

He leant back, gently sliding the straps from her shoulders. He felt almost disinclined to put the pretty thing away. This had been where he’d drawn the line. It had been either some heated making out with their clothes on, or going to bed together with less clothes on. They’d never made the transition.

They would tonight. He put the bra away before he could change his mind. Sansa wasted no time wrapping her arms and legs around him, pressing her warm breasts against his chest.

He let out a sigh. That did feel good. And right too. 

His heart accelerated, hands shaking. It was happening.

Her gentle touches and hungry kisses stoked the flames within him.

But he needed just… a bit more time to gather his courage. She sighed and gasped on top of him, her hips buckling in response to the feel of his lips around her breast. He could feel the impatience in her limbs, the pent-up energy and hunger within her. Her movements brought on a wave of the exact same feelings within him.

She tore herself from his lips with a wet sucking noise, hauling him in by his hair. She wriggled in his lap. It was near torture, and near heaven.

His heart jumped, body and mind recognizing the moment simultaneously. It was time. And he wouldn’t chicken out this time. He wasn’t much one for abnegation, never had been. And he’d be damned if he let one accident rob him of things he wanted forever. He _couldn’t_ give it that kind of power over him.

He rose, kicking off his shoes.

No, lights first. He flicked them off, moving back over to the bed. Still normal.

Sansa moved up behind him. Her hands roved over his chest, lips teasing the skin of his neck like everything was still normal and nothing special was about to happen. Her hand snaked down, opening his zipper.

Alright, he could do this. Either that or he’d die of balls so blue the likes of which they hadn’t even seen on the other side of the old Wall in the North. He tugged down his pants.

 _Rip it off like a band-aid_ , his brain told him.

He could still feel her against his back, but although her hands remained in the same agonizing place, her forehead was now resting against his back. She was there, but she wasn’t watching. He appreciated the subtle support. 

He shoved his pants down and pushed the button, the suction released. It was done. He could do the proper storage later. For now he laid down his leg and rolled off his seal-in liner. The gods had decided to be merciful today and not add insult to injury by having the escaping air make a noise as he removed it. And just like that, it was over.

 _It’s not that different from sleeping beside her without it_ , he tried telling himself.

He closed his eyes, focussing on Sansa instead. She was still right behind him, placing tiny kisses on his back. A shiver ran down his spine. He could have her now. Awkward as it was, there was nothing stopping him anymore. He could have her over and over. Touch her whenever he pleased. Hold her any way he liked.

He twisted to the side only for her lips to immediately claim his. She was moving, the bed wobbling like a sea as she crawled from behind him to his side,

Something raw flared in his gut, spreading through every inch of his chest, leaving a pleasant heat in its wake.

He drew her closer, their kiss deep and languorous, full of barely contained excitement. She moved back to his lap without breaking the kiss. His hands trailed up and down her tights, the satin velvet smooth. Her ass was lovely and supple to the touch, and her hair… Those luscious manes were absolutely irresistible. Always had been, still smelling like the flower shampoo she’d used.

He repositioned, the shift pushing them together in a delightful way. The exhilaration of their embrace was wearing off. He hungered for her. The space needed to go.

His mouth moved down along her jaw, teasing the lobe of her ear before moving to the tasteless skin of her skin. There was no stinging perfume or sweat today, just delightful skin to play with.

Her patience wore out apparently, because she flung forward her body, tackling him to the bed.

He looked up in surprise, at the white figure sitting atop of him in the dark blue light of night. And she too, appeared startled by her initiative, blinking at him as if she was just as surprised that she’d pinned him underneath her, locking him between her two arms.

His hips buckled.

‘You are absolutely wearing too many clothes right now’, he breathed.

She looked down, realizing she was still wearing tights.

‘Right’, she muttered, going from temptress to straight up adorable.

‘It’s not a bad look, just not very practical’, he grinned. He was being absolutely truthful, there was an undeniable eroticism to her long red hair tumbling over her breasts combined with the stark black high waisted tights.

She stammered and rolled off of him, wriggling out of her tights before returning, laying beside him.

‘Back on your throne, you’, he decided, hauling her back on top of him.

‘I-‘ she stammered. ‘I’ve never… I don’t know how…’

 _Father help me, how are her eyes so light still, despite that it’s night?_ Her words only registered after a few seconds. That didn’t even make sense, she’d had two relationships. She wasn’t a virgin. Gods, Margaery and Sansa hadn’t been kidding when her boyfriends had been boring assholes.

‘It depends on what you want to do.’

‘I…’ She looked down on him, tongue flicking out to wet her lips. She leant down, pressing her lips against him.

He allowed her to wriggle until she lay comfortably on top of him. He traced the curve of her back to her ass, enjoying the sensation of the weight of world’s best blanket on top of him. It felt entirely comfortable and pleasant to have her there. A peace settled over his heart he didn’t know he’d been missing.

Natural. The way her body and his clicked together felt entirely natural.

He wondered if she felt it too, for she just paused her entire movement, looking down on him with her great expressive eyes.

He could feel it then, as he looked into her eyes, that tug buried deeply within him. As if there was a string around his heart, pulling him forwards, towards her. He wasn’t confident enough to name the emotion. But he knew he needed her. Right now.

His hand moved up from her knee, tickling the invisible hairs of her upper leg before connecting with the edge of her underwear. The following second, his fingers started crawling underneath, one by one. Sliding across the surface he could just feel her skin growing hotter and more slippery beneath his fingertips, until his hand finally reached its destination, effortlessly slipping down.

‘Oh.’

His mind stopped working. All thoughts regarding himself and the monumentality of the moment were dumped in the trash as his mind devoted itself to a singular task. This was his queen, and he would serve her well. Until she forgot all about whatever her shithead boyfriends had said that made her so fearful of showing her actual feelings openly.

And with every brush, with every stroke, Sansa seemed to start to forget she felt uncomfortable taking top position. Her suppressed sighs, coming from her fear of appearing wanton, became more laboured and intermingled with a melody of moans and groans.

With a push he took control, twisting them so he was looming over her now. It was easier than expected, odd, but the position entirely normal. He cherished her breasts, that were apparently very sensitive to the touch of his mouth. When, after an experimental nip, she cried out, all chaotic emotions and energy seeping out of her in shockwaves, he told himself to remember the action. Her eyes were soft and smiling as her devious hand travelled down his abdomen.

His eyes slipped shut. This was like a sip of fresh water after a forty day trek through the desert. And he was drunk on the experience. He couldn’t remember the last time his body had felt so warm. His mind was blissfully empty and his soul was at peace. It was only when he combusted underneath her, while she rode him like the Dothraki queen of legend, that he realized she might feel his leg, and that this was supposed to have been weird. But before that thought could even begin to be processed, his mind shut down again, stars exploding behind his eyes. Her pace was irregular and she was out of breath on top of him, her eyes struggling to stay open as she continued. He wondered what she was still aiming for, until her eyelids fluttered shut, her lips trembling as she halted. He could feel her shaking, her abdomen contracting. And then she collapsed on top of him.

She sighed a final time. ‘I need to remember that one’, she muttered against his skin.

‘Definitely’, he replied softly, putting his arms around her.

He knew that somewhere in the near future, he’d have to get up, but for now, he allowed himself to enjoy the tender silence that followed.


	18. Chapter 18

Sansa awoke so entirely blissfully happy, her mind couldn’t help but decide something was very wrong. She tried to ignore the feeling, but the more she pushed her back against Willas’ chest and tried to relax, the more her brain riled her up.

What about studying? What about her exams? She had her first exam in two weeks.

But she was on track, she tried telling herself.

_Yes, but you’re also taking a lot more time off than usual. Normally you don’t take half the day off, except for Christmas and New Year’s. You must be on track because you’re not studying well enough._

Or maybe she was just efficient due to the healthy balance of relaxation and enjoyment, she countered.

_You’re constantly distracted when you’re studying, distracted with him._

She had to give it to the mean voice in her head, that was true.

_All that effort for a boy who you don’t even know how you can be together with. Are you really sacrificing your studies for a boy you might only see once every month, only for it to fizzle out after six months of dating due to distance?_

She begged her mind to stop. She didn’t want to go down that road of thoughts. They were only just together, there was no need to immediately start planning everything out. For heaven’s sake they’d only just slept together, that had been such a major win, she couldn’t burden him with some nonsense anxious thoughts. They deserved to enjoy today after conquering that challenge. Besides, men hated it when she pushed for long-term plans. They liked taking things day by day. She shouldn’t rush it.

Willas tightened his arm around her, and her heart cracked just a little.

Damn, she really liked this. It hadn’t even been a week and she was already so used to waking up in his arms. She would get her heart broken in a million tiny pieces if things didn’t work out. It had taken so long for them to get together, and they just fit so perfectly, it would devastate her if a stupid thing like distance would now tear them apart.

She bit her lip, praying to any of the seven new gods and the old ones that she would be strong enough not to cry.

‘Sansa, you’re awake?’

‘Yeah.’

She turned around, nuzzling her face against his neck. His arms wrapped around her back.

‘Did you have a nice sleep?’ she asked.

‘A very good sleep’, he replied, his hand wandering down to cup her bottom.

A single sparkle of desire fluttered up in her stomach.

‘Did you?’

‘Yes. It was lovely’, she sighed, pressing a kiss against his skin.

She let her fingers slide up and down his back, sliding over ridges of vertebrae and down hollows of ribs. Touching him calmed her.

‘I could stay like this forever.’

‘But?’ he asked with a teasing voice still gruff from sleep.

‘But I have to start studying.’

‘Of course, no worries, it’s only for a day.’

Sansa pulled back to look at him.

‘We’ll be back here tonight’, he smirked.

She smiled, reaching up to touch his hair.

‘It’s so fluffy in the morning.’

‘It’s getting awfully long with the hair salons closed.’

‘No, I like it. It’s cute.’

‘Ah yes, that’s exactly what I was going for.’

She tapped his nose before gently raking her hands through his unruly knotted curls again.

‘Hush. It’s just because it looks so sleep tousled and unruly’, she said as her smile grew.

‘Yes, it’s a miracle how your hair stays pin straight and in perfect shape.’

‘Oh there’s definitely some tangles in there’, she assured him, eyes darting back up to his. They were still small from sleep, but very adorable. She was not going to say that out loud.

His eyes went from her hair to her eyes as well. And then he crossed the distance.

His lips were warm when he kissed her. She let out a soft moan, pulling at his hair.

Just like that, he’d rolled on top of her, pressing a long kiss on her lips.

‘No, studies first’, he groaned, pushing himself back to his side with visible effort.

‘I wish we could be like this every day’, Sansa sighed.

‘Can’t we?’ he asked with a frown.

‘For now, the remainder of the week.’

‘Why only then?’

‘Because I’ll be in King’s Landing, and you’ll be in Oldtown?’ she asked. Why wasn’t that obvious to him? She hadn’t stopped thinking about that in over a week. And before then as well. Every time she saw Willas, every time she thought of Willas, she’d been able to tuck her hopes of a relationship away by reminding herself that even if he was interested in her they had very different lives and lived far away from each other.

‘You do know I have an apartment at King’s Landing, right?’

She didn’t. She perched up.

‘I knew you were in town from time to time, since you sometimes had lunch or dinner with Margaery every few months, but I thought… I don’t know, you were in a hotel or something.’

‘I bought an apartment above a wine bar two years ago. The bar and I have a deal, as I’m their wine buyer. The deal also means I can do degustation’s and sommelier trainings downstairs in the bar. Or at least, I was going to start doing that, branch out you know, but I never got farther than two events before covid happened.’

‘Oh.’

But all she could pay attention to was that he had a place in King’s Landing. All wasn’t doomed!

‘I took it easy the first few years, focussing on Oldtown, but that’s on the edge of the continent. A wise man also makes sure he does business in the capital that’s smack in the middle between all the countries. Then people don’t have to travel long to meet me, I don’t have to travel long to meet them, and shipments are also a good deal faster. My consumer base really grew and went international once I started in King’s Landing. When it was just Oldtown, only Dorne and Reachia purchased from me. And the odd three star restaurant somewhere farther north.’

‘That’s nice.’

Willas grinned.

‘Thought you’d be rid of me, didn’t you?’

‘I admit I feared we wouldn’t see each other as often.’

‘You’ll tire of my face sooner than you’ll get the opportunity to forget what it looks like.’

A weight fell from her chest which she now realized had been there all the time. She had been excited to enter in a relationship with Willas, yet she had always felt a bit hesitant to fully enjoy it. She realized she’d been waiting for the kick that always came. Joffrey had been nice, until he turned controlling and aggressive. Harry had seemed nice, but had been so busy and focussed on himself. And Willas, when he was an unattainable crush, was safe to love. He was a dream, not real, his character couldn’t disappoint, and dreams of him had never been burdened by practicalities.

And when the kick had not come from his character, as she was perfectly fine with his edges and lesser personality traits, she’d started looking at practical problems that could happen. But now those were gone as well, at least all worries she could already have were solved. They could just enjoy each other and learn to be together.

‘Sansa?’

‘Hm? Oh, sorry. Brain still waking up’, she smiled before giving him a peck on the lips.

He slung an arm around her, getting closer again.

‘I could just see the wheels of your brain whirring, you look cute when you’re thinking.’

Joffrey had called that particular expression dumb.

‘You, are in a very good mood’, Sansa noticed.

He leant back with a frown.

‘Why shouldn’t I be?’

‘No reason, I just couldn’t help but notice.’

Her hand slipped to his waist, following the flat line of his hip.

‘You know, if you want to get out of bed, it would be wise to stop right there’, he warned.

Sansa bit her lip, bringing her hand back up and turning away to her bedside table. Willas scooted closer as she checked the time on her phone. His hand was warm and heavy on her hip.

‘You’re making it really hard, you know?’ Sansa asked.

Willas drew her closer against him.

‘Funny, I could say the exact same thing.’

Sansa threw her phone away. If Willas had decided to be all her dreams come to life, she’d be a very stupid girl not to enjoy it.

She turned around to face him.

‘Weren’t you getting out?’ he asked with an innocent voice.

‘Oh hush you, evil temptress.’

‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’

‘You should’, she said before she surrendered.

‘Sansa Stark, what did you do?’ Margaery Tyrell demanded to know at five past midday.

‘Run behind’, Sansa sighed, tapping at her book with the back of her pen. ‘I’m twenty pages behind.’

‘You have only come downstairs for lunch for fifteen minutes and you have just skipped the afternoon get-together.’

‘Because I ran behind.’

‘I can understand that. However, we have also not talked since you oh so suddenly wanted to go to bed yesterday.’

‘Because I needed to study.’

Margaery rolled her eyes.

‘In this house, there are certain dynamics and rules. For example, everything that can be bet on, will be bet on. The elf on the shelf. Loras is the annoying younger sibling despite me being the youngest, Garlan eats all the leftovers, and so on. Yes?’

‘Yes. I noticed. But what does that have to do with me not coming downstairs?’

‘I’m getting around to it. I am the one who knows everything first. Or, my grandmother. In any case. As my best friend, I expect you to tell me everything, as I tell you everything. And in this specific context I expect to be the first to know anything. Not because I’m nosey, although I am, and not because I have invested money in a bet, because I have, but because you’re my best friend and I still want to be your confidante. I thought if my best friend started a new relationship, she’d tell me, and I thought if my best friend finally had sex, she’d tell me.’

‘What? But? How did you? Willas wouldn’t…’

‘Willas was whistling this morning, Sansa. And he jovially lost a game. Jovially! We don’t lose jovially. I haven’t seen him like this since… I can barely even give a date.’

‘I uhm… I don’t know what to say.’

‘Come on, we used to talk for hours. Talk to me. This is the most exciting thing to happen in your life in years. You talked about so many worries you had the past week. How are you with all of them? Did anything become better?’

‘I’m sorry. I guess I haven’t been the best at time-management. Sit down on bed with me?’ Sansa asked.

‘I’m sorry that I never told you anything without you asking first. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. But I always talked to you about problems and worries I had, like I always do.’

Margaery toyed with the quilt of Sansa’s bed.

‘I just…. Feel awkward barging into your room to tell you about what I did with your brother.’

‘When did I ever make you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about Willas? I told you I’m used to knowing such things.’

‘Never! But it’s just… weird. And you know me, I always delay the awkward conversations. But I do tell you first. Always. I’ve never told anyone anything before I told you.’

‘And it’s all going so fast, you know I don’t want to be hasty.’

‘I know’, Margaery sighed.

‘I promise I’ll always tell you first.’

Margaery nodded.

‘I wanted to thank you, today. Before you entered my room.’

‘Oh?’

‘For yesterday.’

‘Ah, really? You looked kind of embarrassed’, Margaery grinned.

‘I was. But well… I guess you guys know us really well.’

‘Wonder how that comes’, Margaery smirked, giving Sansa a shove.

‘We uhm… We slept together last night.’

‘Like every night?’

‘No. yes. But. For real.’

‘Oh god. And? Jeez, if I knew that all we had to do to get you two banging was throw a couple of condoms at you, I should have done it on Christmas Eve. Please tell me he was better than Harry and Joffrey, with all his experience he has to be, despite potential rust.’

‘Believe me, there’s not a thing rusty about Willas.’

‘Ah’, Margaery grinned. ‘See that the best lovers are always from Reachia? It’s in our blood. Ages back all the poets and bards and songs came from Reachia. We were the most amorous of the seven kingdoms.’

Sansa rolled her eyes.

‘Yes, yes. Roll your eyes, but it’s true. Although, judging by Willas’ mood the past week, there’s clearly something hot about the North, beneath that frosty façade.’

‘Marge’, Sansa cried, but couldn’t help laughing.

‘You know, fuck it. I may have lost my money because I thought you two would be your habitual avoiding slow selves and wait until the New Year, but I’m actually happy.’

‘How much did you have invested?’

‘A lady doesn’t tell.’

‘Marge.’

‘Like fifty. I was really convinced okay?’

‘Oh Marge.’

‘But you can make it up to me.’

‘How?’

‘One, by being ridiculously happy. Two, by teaming up with me so we can win tonight?’

‘What’s happening tonight?’

‘A trivia game. I have it in my room. We will take a short study break to practice, and then tonight hopefully we will still remember some of the answers. No buts! I know you, you can easily catch up on work.’

‘That’s cheating!’

‘It’s tactics. Cheating is looking it up during the game.’

Sansa shook her head.

‘You really are a bunch of …’

Sansa rolled her eyes.

‘You’ll do it though?’

‘Of course.’

And if Margaery and Sansa did end up coincidentally winning the game, that was just luck. Because after all, anyone who had played the game more often than others had the exact same advantage.

‘You know, one day I go from thinking you are awfully close to one of my grandchildren, and the other day I suspect the exact same but with another’, Olenna Tyrell remarked, looking at Sansa from over cat eye glasses.

‘I beg your pardon?’ Sansa asked, shifting in her chair.

Olenna looked around the table, and then back at Sansa.

‘Oh nothing, I only noticed that my grandchildren are all very fond of you.’

‘Of course, Sansa is amazing, why shouldn’t we be fond of her?’ Margaery asked, rubbing her head.

Sansa cringed.

‘Yes. I do hope we’ll keep seeing each other after lockdown, miss Stark, your company is ever so appreciated.’

Sansa did not know exactly how she had to interpret that comment, or the look she gave, but she had the creeping suspicion that Olenna knew.

After the game, Sansa locked herself up to work away at least some of her remaining pages. Willas supplied her with tea, watching a series on her bed as she studied. But no sooner had the clock struck half past one, than Willas shut his laptop, stalked over, and put his hands on her shoulders.

‘How far along are you?’

‘Only five pages left.’

‘Hard pages or easy pages?’

‘Hard ones. It takes over fifteen minutes to do half a page, you know the type? There’s just so many terms and procedures.’

‘Then you won’t finish that tonight.’

‘I can do at least…’

But as she tried to say how much she could do, she couldn’t help but stare at the page before her, that was hardly making sense. She turned the next five pages, looking for something that was easy. Sometimes you just looked at something and knew it was manageable, at others you just looked and knew it was going to be a pain to push into your head. This was definitely the latter.

‘You can do at least a nice little sleep so you can look at it with a fresh brain. You know that the longer you sleep, the more time your brain has to process all the old info and get ready to store more new information.’

‘I know’, Sansa sighed. Although she usually didn’t sleep a lot. She always woke up early with anxious thoughts of missing exams and forgetting parts of her courses. And her mind usually raced too much too sleep. But while she was here that had not happened. She’d never felt better rested and energized.

‘Come.’

Perhaps, she told the mean part of her brain, she indeed got through her obligated study work so fast because she wasn’t as tired and braindead as before. Gone was the brainless going-through-the-motions mind she’d had since lockdown started in March. Here, there were diversions, people to talk to, new things to do, exciting developments and friends and lovers who managed to quell her nerves. Even an introvert as Sansa had to admit that social interactions were a really essential part of her mental health.

She had tried protesting, feeble as it was, now it was time to give in and let herself be hauled to the bathroom, and then the other bedroom.


	19. Chapter 19

Margaery and Sansa were having some tortilla’s with spicy tomato sauce and eggs for lunch when Sansa noticed Margaery started toying around with her food, shoving her diced avocado any which way.

‘What is it?’ Sansa asked.

‘Nothing really’, Margaery replied, innocently scooping up some to eat.

‘Only?’

‘Only that I want to do something for New Year’s Eve. I can’t stand the possibility that it’ll become boring.’

‘Like a boardgame?’

‘No, that’s dull’, Margaery sighed.

‘You know, I would just love to dance and laugh and drink’, Margaery sighed.

‘Me too.’

‘So what shall we do?’

‘You’re usually the one with the ideas of what we should do.’

‘I know, but my mind is awfully empty. So far I’ve come up with charades, but we’ve done that already.’

‘We could give it a new year’s twist. Like Pictionary but with New Year themed things?’

Margaery nodded.

‘Maybe.’

Sansa chewed on her cheek.

‘Hmm. Two truths, one lie?’

‘More interesting’, Margaery admitted.

She took a sip of her drink. ‘Ah, we could make it themed as well. Like two things you liked in 2020, one thing you disliked. Two new year’s resolution, and one that isn’t.’

Sansa nodded in agreement, wiping a piece of tortilla along her plate to clean it off before she popped it into her mouth.

‘That’s an idea.’

‘But isn’t there something interesting that we can do, something that’ll take a while?’

‘I don’t know. Boardgames, usually’, Sansa shrugged.

‘But those are bland. You know, I recently thought of something I-don’t-know-who remarked earlier.’

‘Being?’

‘You know that joke about locking ourselves up in a dark room and just drinking with some cool music?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Well like… What if we use the rooms in this house? Create a makeshift something?’

‘A makeshift nightclub?’

‘No, obviously, that’s too awkward. Even for me. But like wouldn’t it be cool if we could move through a room and do stuff?’

‘Like hide and seek?’

‘No. Tempting idea though’, Margaery grinned, taking a sip of her lemonade. ‘I wonder if I still fit in the cupboard underneath the sink’, she wondered.

‘Anyways, no, not that. Grandmother and mommy and daddy will never join in.’

‘So something that could entertain all of us, that isn’t just at a table, and we can use a whole room for?’

‘Yes.’

‘Not a boardgame’, Sansa repeated.

‘Not a boardgame’, Margaery nodded.

‘Now I’m thinking of like haunted house tours and treasure hunts.’

‘Treasure hunts would be rad after midnight, if everyone hid their gifts. Oh! Now there’s an idea. Let’s do that’, Margaery agreed.

‘Uhm, okay’, Sansa said.

Margaery swallowed another bite.

‘But before midnight. We’ve got to do something before midnight as well.’

‘Eat and drink?’ Sansa asked.

‘But before midnight is the hardest part to sit through!’ Margaery complained. ‘I’m impatient. Those hours are always the longest.’

‘But you partied all previous years.’

‘Yes, but there was a time before I went to parties. Besides, before the party we still have a big family dinner and while I love talking to everyone and sitting down before I got to stand up the whole night, those hours were sometimes so slow. And then we ran out of things to talk about sometimes. That was horrible, I loathe silence.’

Sansa nodded, thinking back on her own New Year’s Eves of time gone by, there were indeed always lulls in conversation. And regularly, between the main course and desert, her grandparents dosed off on the couch. Back when they were little, their mother had forbidden them from waking them up and asking them to play games. In the end, boardgames, the wii, and hide and seek had occupied them in the apparently everlasting break between the main course and desert, when the adults were letting their food “sink”. The last few years, they’d just hung on the couch, carrying their still full wine glasses from the table to finish them. It was a boring affair and usually ended up with them putting on a movie to drown out the silence, but no one was ever really watching.

‘Clue. But in real life?’ Sansa asked.

‘Can we do that?’

‘I’ve played it once… a murder mystery. A long time ago at camp. I think I was like ten. We all got a little page with backstory and our actions and what people said to us.’

‘And how did it end up?’

‘We all had to ask questions and travel around the camp to certain spots to make accusations. We asked each other questions like “where were you at that time” “who did you last see” and so forth.’

‘And then?’

‘We pointed out a murderer. He insisted he hadn’t done it. The murderer didn’t realize that shoving someone off a ship had been equal to murdering them.’

‘Perhaps it was ambitious for a ten year old’, Margaery grinned.

‘Apparently’, Sansa laughed.

Margaery whipped out her phone, typing something.

‘Oh, there’s like a million murder mystery scripts online we can just use. Cool. I’ll look at them tonight and see which ones are cool; but not too long and complicated that everyone will just refuse beforehand because they’re lazy’, Margaery decided.

Margaery looked up at Sansa with a grin.

‘This is why we’re friends. Our brains work great together.’

Sansa grinned back in return.

‘Oh I can’t wait for us to be actual sisters. It’s like platinum membership friendship!’ Margaery decided.

Sansa choked on her tea.

‘Not you too.’

‘Oh, who was before me?’

‘Arya also said I was going to end up marrying him. We’ve only been together like… six days.’

‘Oh, did she now? I bet she’s just looking for an opportunity to embarrass you with a speech on your wedding.’

‘Oh please, no.’

‘No worries, you won’t be alone. I would hold one for Willas if I didn’t believe Garlan to be more capable of embarrassing him to such an extent he’ll take another year long break from society’, Margaery decided. ‘Or maybe we should all contribute, three beautiful speeches that’ll be.’

‘No, please. That means I will have to endure four such speeches. I won’t live through that.’

Margaery just grinned at her.

‘So now you’re thinking of your wedding too.’

‘Argh, you provoked me into it! I was just going along with the reasoning.’

‘What, you don’t want to marry him?’

‘I’m not thinking of it yet. Besides, it depends on what he wants as well.’

‘Girl, we’ve been through this exact conversation back when it was about dating him. And we both know how that turned out.’

Sansa blushed.

Margaery looked back at her phone.

‘Time to start studying again. Let’s go.’

At three thirty, Sansa was ready to climb up a wall. She’d finished everything she had to do yesterday and all she had to do in the morning, but still ran four pages behind of where she should be. Her storage of study energy, it appeared, had finally run dry. She’d been staring at the same page for twenty minutes when she decided to throw in the towel.

‘Marge, can I come in?’ Sansa asked as she knocked on her door.

‘Yeah.’

Sansa slipped in.

‘You frown, dear.’

‘Yeah, it’s not working’, Sansa sighed.

‘Hm, mood’, Margaery said.

‘I think a distraction would be in place.’

‘I’m just finishing up a class. Meanwhile, I’ll send you my google doc.’

‘Of what?’

‘Of some murder mysteries I found online. Let me know what you think’, Margaery said, typing on her phone. Sansa’s phone buzzed in her pocket.

‘Will do’, Sansa agreed, sitting down on Margaery’s bed.

‘Over a hundred pages?’

‘Well it’s over five murders. And I even picked the shortest ones. Some had over twenty pages of backstory per person.’

‘Heaven. Whoever bothers to read that much?’

‘Not us. We don’t have that kind of patience. I tried to keep it under six pages per person.’

‘Is there a synopsis per mystery?’

‘Of most there is, yeah.’

‘Alright’, Sansa sighed.

‘So, what do you think?’ Margaery asked once her class was finished forty minutes later.

‘I’ve only read three until now, scrolled quite a bit, I like them all until now.’

‘Oh great!’

‘But Marge?’

‘Yes?’ Margaery smiled, spinning around on her chair to face Sansa.

‘Have you read them?’

‘No, didn’t bother. If I had I wouldn’t have gotten anything done. I just read the plot and then looked at how long the character backstories were. Why?’

‘Well, I’ve lowkey read through three and it just crossed my mind… If we’re supposed to play this game, every one gets a character, reads their backstory and account of the events, and then everyone can start talking and asking each other questions to find out the killer, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘But I’ve read them.’

‘Yes.’

‘I’ve read through some character backstories.’

‘Yeah?’

Sansa raised her eyebrows.

‘Oh. Oh, yeah. That’s kind of unfair.’

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought’, Sansa sighed.

‘But how will we know if they’re interesting if we’re not supposed to read them beforehand?’

‘Take a gamble, I guess’, Sansa reasoned. ‘The only way we can use them now, is if I play the murderer. Because then it doesn’t matter if I know who the killer is.’

‘Right… Good plan.’

Sansa nodded.

‘No wait! Now I know that you will play the murderer. And you’re a bad liar as well.’

Sansa dropped back onto the bed.

‘I just wasted forty minutes of my life’, Sansa moaned.

‘We should have thought this through. Damn study brain’, Margaery sighed.

‘So we need to pick one of the other games… of which only two are left.’

‘It would appear so.’

‘Well, on the bright side we did manage to narrow it down. Only not in the way we wanted to’, Margaery reasoned.

‘I suppose. Given that it’s past four now, isn’t there anything to do together today?’

‘We can go downstairs. Come to think of it, it’s strange they haven’t called us down yet. Let’s check it out.’

The girls went downstairs after checking that there were no sounds behind closed doors upstairs. Alerie was reading a book on the couch, or sleeping with a book propped up before her, that was unclear. At the table sat Olenna and Mace, the first beating the latter in cyvasse. They boys weren’t outside either.

‘Perhaps they went out?’ Sansa suggested.

‘Out where, only essential shops are opened.’

‘Perhaps out riding.’

‘Maybe’, Margaery agreed. ‘Let’s go to the kitchen and make ourselves something.’

That was how they found the boys and Leonette.

Leonette sat on the table, licking the batter of a whisker. Willas sat on a chair beside her with a bowl of liquid in front of him. On one end of the counter stood Garlan with a kitchen robot, and at the fire stood Loras, bowed over a pot. Beside him stood Renly, kneading bread.

Willas and Leonette smiled and waved.

‘What on earth? Oh fuck. Shit. Crap.’

Sansa turned towards Margaery.

‘The New Year gifts.’

‘The New Year gifts?’ Sansa inquired.

‘Yeah for New Year’s we give each other a little something to eat. So we all make desert, and make large enough portions so everyone can have some. It’s cheap, fun, and it’s a dish less for mommy and grandmother to make.’

‘Ah. And when was I supposed to be informed of this tradition?’ Sansa asked.

‘Uhm… I completely forgot.’

‘Nobody told me’, Sansa said, looking at Willas.

‘Couldn’t you have told me?’

‘What?’ he asked, apparently not having listened to their conversation.

‘About the deserts?’

‘I uhm… To be frank, it didn’t even cross my mind. I kind of assumed everyone knew.’

Sansa rolled her eyes.

‘What am I supposed to do?’

‘You’ll get an out of jail free card, it’s fine. I doubt anyone was expecting you to make something’, Margaery shrugged.

That sounded rational, but Sansa didn’t want to freeride on desert when the Tyrells were already giving her three meals a day without asking anything in return. The same went for Renly and Leonette, she supposed, but that was different, their last name was basically Tyrell already.

‘Oh, you want to make something, don’t you?’ she asked, upon observing Sansa’s face.

‘Kinda’, Sansa admitted.

‘Well, look around the pantry and fridge I’d say. No worries about taking something they need for tomorrow. Mom won’t be needing desert ingredients for the courses she’ll be making.’

Sansa was still a bit uncomfortable taking things from the kitchen, but after a lot of lunches with Margaery and some wine sessions with Willas, she’d come to accept that it was fine for her to take things out of the cupboard.

‘But seeing everyone around here, I’d say the kitchen’s booked for the next hour at least’, Margaery grinned.

‘You sly foxes, you all just snuck into the kitchen without telling!’ Margaery asked of the others.

‘Like hell I was going to spend any time in the kitchen on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day’, Loras said, scrunching his nose.

‘My dough child needs to take an overnight nap in the fridge, I had to start today to have it done tomorrow’, Renly supplied.

‘Oh, what are you making?’

‘Brioche. Not sure what kind yet, I’m hoping to be struck by an overnight bout of inspiration’, Renly grinned.

‘I was terribly afraid of being in granny’s way tomorrow so I came downstairs to make my thing today’, Garlan explained.

‘What is it?’

‘Chocolate bundt cake. Gonna put some mascarpone cherry filling in the middle tomorrow so do be mindful of that when you plunder the fridge.’

‘I will.’

‘I’m going to make fruit salad because we’ll need it between these heavy things they’re making’, Leonette smiled.

Sansa looked back at Loras, a bottle of what had to be 90° alcohol stood beside the fire. Loras moved, pouring a thick creamy yellow custard into six big jars.

‘It’ll go lovely with the advocaat’, Sansa nodded.

‘Right? Exactly the kind of fresh thing that will be delightful with any of the things they’re making’, Leonette agreed.

‘Willas, is that jelly?’ Margaery asked.

‘Why?’

‘I always use jelly. Please tell me you’re not making candy. I always make my champagne candy for tomorrow.’

Sansa was by now sure that was the only thing Margaery liked to make if she had to whip up a treat. She wasn’t much of a pastry chef.

‘It’s coffee caramel panna cotta, if you must know’, Willas said.

‘Oh good. Sure, go ahead’, Margaery smiled.

‘So San, you want anything for a snack? We still got brownies?’

‘Uhm… Sure.’

‘Tea or coffee?’

‘Tea, black. Thanks.’

‘Sure.’ Margaery skipped between her brothers with practiced ease, procuring their treats before sitting down at the table.

‘So you’re waiting?’ Margaery asked Willas.

‘Need some counter space’, Willas nodded.

Sansa sat down across him.

‘Hi.’

‘Haven’t seen you yet, today.’

‘Sure you have’, Sansa laughed.

‘Not since waking up.’

‘I was busy.’

‘Any hope you’ll stop being busy?’

‘I’m running behind.’

‘Never thought I’d get angry and envious because of a book, but here I am.’

‘Oh, young love, isn’t it adorable?’ Margaery asked Leonette.

‘They’re the cutest’, Leonette smiled, ruffling Willas’ hair.

Willas reached out, his long arm reaching high enough to ruffle Leonette’s curls even though she sat on top of the table.

‘Hey!’

‘So your mother and grandmother won’t be making any desert?’ Sansa asked.

‘No’, replied Margaery.

‘What does Lord Mace make?’

‘Father rarely enters the kitchen but when he does he’s oddly passionate about it and immediately purchases top notch instruments. A few years ago he got into such a mood and decided he had to make the best professional style Belgian waffles. So every New Year’s eve he gets out his iron which he ignores every day of the year except on holidays, and bakes such a large amount that we have to throw half of them to the chickens and horses. He lets them rise for hours before he bakes them, so he starts early in the morning, as mom and him have their breakfast, then he hides until the soup and the first slew of other preparations are done by mom. And when she’s relaxing in the living room he bakes his waffles, everyone steals some as a snack, and the rest is served in the evening’, Willas grins.

‘Alright’, Sansa nodded. She’d never tried making waffles so she wasn’t going to try that this year. All her options were open.

‘What should I make?’

‘Something that screams Sansa’, Margaery decided. ‘Our dishes are pretty representative of who we are.’

‘Shouldn’t Willas’ have wine then?’ Sansa asked with a smile.

Willas pointed his spoon at her.

‘I should spank you for that.’

‘What, like I’d mind?’ Sansa shot back before she gave it any thought. In retrospect, given she would probably still freeze if anyone tried to even play-spank her, it wasn’t the wisest come back.

Leonette gasped, she and Margaery watching them with interest.

‘In that case, perhaps I shouldn’t touch you at all. Have my bed all too myself again’, he smiled.

‘Hm, good idea. Then maybe I’ll finally get a full night’s sleep. My studies would without a doubt improve’, Sansa shot back.

‘Oh, is that why you were still the last one up beside me the first week of the holiday?’

‘Uhm… Well.’

Willas raised his eyebrows expectantly.

‘At least it was easier to get out of bed back then’, she meekly replied.

Willas barked a laugh.

‘Seems like that too, is a win-win then. I give up, there’s no way to punish you for your wicked tongue.’

‘Would you even want to, really?’ Margaery asked. ‘It’s what I love about her.’

‘Not really, no’, Willas admitted with a smile.

Sansa finished her drink.

‘I still don’t know what to make. What screams Sansa?’

‘Something with lemons’, Margaery decided.

‘Something sweet, but also a little bit sour’, Leonette mused.

Sansa turned toward Willas then. Willas looked at Margaery to his left, who knew exactly what ingredients Sansa liked, and Leonette to his right, who remembered what dishes Sansa had enjoyed. He didn’t know her long enough to recommend something based on those things.

‘I’d say something a bit impressive, that shows you can bake. Probably something in the oven? Nothing too heavy though, you don’t really strike me as that kind of cook’, Willas reasoned.

He turned towards Margaery. ‘Is she?’

‘Oh no, she’s quite a healthy cook on most days, take-out is always my idea, and her deserts are mostly light and fruity. I’ve never gotten her to make a heavy chocolate cake’, Margaery laughed.

Willas had guessed based on her personality. And he had guessed perfectly.

She did want to bake something impressive, to properly repay them for their kindness.

Lemons and baked goods… What could that be?

Lemon and blueberry cupcakes? Maybe, but that wasn’t really festive. She wanted something festive.

Lemoncake? No, everyone expected that of her already.

Perhaps something really light. Something like merengues? Lemon meringues?

She went through all deserts she’d baked before.

‘Oh, lemon curd pavlova!’ Sansa cried.

Leonette jumped and Margaery almost lost balance as she’d been precariously wobbling on the back legs of her chair.

‘Would everyone eat a lemon curd pavlova?’ Sansa asked.

‘What was that again?’ Margaery asked.

‘It’s a meringue filled with mascarpone and lemon curd.’

‘Oh yes! Is that the white light cake-ish thing you once made a year ago?’

Sansa nodded.

‘Yes! Oh my god, it’s divine, believe me, like a bite of spring’, she told the other two.

‘I like meringue and I can imagine lemons go well with it’, Leonette mused.

Willas nodded.

‘And the others?’

‘They’ll eat everything’, Leonette assured her. ‘Except perhaps…’

‘Hey Loras! Do you eat meringue?’ Leonette called.

Loras, looked away from Renly, but kept his arms around him.

‘Yeah, why?’

‘Do you eat lemon curd?’

‘Like lemon cream?’

‘Something like that.’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘Nothing, it’s good. Thank you’, Leonette smiled.

‘There, all set. I’m very curious to see what it is.’

‘It’ll be a while still’, Sansa mused, watching as Garlan put his cake in the oven.

‘My turn’, Willas decided, moving over to the now flour-covered counter.

Garlan ignored the dirty kitchen robot he left behind and went straight over to kiss his girlfriend.

‘Once again trying to beat us at our own traditions, Stark?’

‘What? No I just –‘

‘Don’t tease her’, Leonette chastised, slapping him on the arm. ‘Be glad you get one more dish to eat that’ll be of decent quality.’

‘Who said anything about complaining?’ Garlan asked her, before turning to Sansa with a charming smile.

‘I’m not like the other imbeciles. We are the Tyrells, our name is famous. We’re all stars. Another skilled person entering the family will only make us stronger. So do come in and beat us, I don’t care, I have zero pride in this family. It’s the outside world we need to win from.’

‘Such a good sport’, Margaery smiled, her lips turning sour. ‘Yuck.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally had three days of snow, felt like a little child and it totally put me into a holiday mood (good thing my exams are over so I can enjoy it)
> 
> Advocaat is similar to German eierlikör, which in turn is similar to eggnog but a lot thicker. It’s a holidays fic so why not throw in some local culture, as it’s kind of traditional to consume around the holidays. Just like any Dutchy or Belgian, my family swings by its own recipe. My little sister is always the one who makes it, although she doesn’t eat it. We use very high degree pure alcohol because we don’t waste our liquor cabinet for it, tastes superb, no complaints :p 
> 
> Also my exams are done yay, I lived, with a doctor’s visit ( shout-out to everyone with a bad posture who sits knees crossed or one knee drawn up at their desk, apparently that combined with hyperventilating can cause your back to get stuck like a bitch and cause headaches). BUT I LIVED AND I’m healthy now!  
> Also; I’ll try to finish this before the first week of February is over otherwise. I don’t want to be writing a christmasfic mid-february. HOWEVER Samantha Shannon and Sarah J Maas’ new books are coming out so I might tumble off the surface of the earth. 
> 
> Season’s Greetings   
> xoxo


	20. Chapter 20

Sansa and Margaery went back upstairs to study. It was no use lounging around downstairs waiting their turn, especially since they had so much left to do. But the break had helped clear Sansa’s mind, so she found herself fighting through her course material with renewed energy until they were called down for dinner.

‘The kitchen smelled lovely, dears’, Alerie Tyrell said as she put a piece of white fish and tomato sauce on Olenna’s plate.

‘But I do wish some of you had cleaned up after yourselves’, she said, shooting a sharp glance at her boys. Willas and Renly turned and looked at Loras and Garlan, whose eyes were focussed on their plates.

‘I trust, however, that you only failed to clean up because you were all so terribly busy with your deserts. I have all the faith that by the time I go to the kitchen tomorrow morning everything will be spotless and all dirty pots and pans are put back into the cupboards.’

There were no clever responses to Alerie’s words.

‘Good’, Alerie decided.

‘Did everything work out?’ Sansa asked them.

‘Perfectly’, Renly smiled.

‘Yes’, Loras only said before swallowing a spoonful of rice and fish.

‘I do sure hope so’, Garlan grinned.

Sansa looked at Willas.

‘I always make the same dish so I’m sure it went well’, he smiled.

‘That’s true, he’s very uncreative’, Margaery grinned.

‘Shouldn’t you try something new, old man?’ Renly asked with a grin, as if he wasn’t the same age as Willas.

‘Isn’t he doing just that?’ Loras asked with a sly grin.

Garlan shoved his elbow into Loras’ side.

‘Oof!’ he grunted.

Olenna’s sharp eyes rested on the scene. Garlan shot Sansa and Willas a sorry look.

‘Oh enough already’, she sighed, rolling her eyes.

All youngsters froze, eyes nervously going from each other to Olenna Tyrell.

‘We do wear glasses and contacts with a reason, you know? We’re not blind.’

Sansa froze. Willas’ hand went to cover hers underneath the table.

‘Grandmother, we have no idea what you’re talking about’, Margaery said sweetly.

Olenna rolled her eyes again.

‘Then I shall have to embarrass you by pointing it out’, the old woman said.

‘Olenna, really, there’s no need’, Alerie rushed to say.

Olenne raised a her thumb.

‘Making snowmen together in the dead of night.’

Sansa’s stomach flipped over.

Olenna raised her bony index finger with a big ruby ring on it.

‘Getting my grandson to dance while he refused to for half a decade.’

Mace, Loras, Garlan and Renly pointedly looked at their plate as they started shovelling down their food.

She raised her middle finger. ‘Taking over half an hour to make something as simple as mulled wine. The girl returning with cheeks as red as the wine.’

Why did Sansa ever for a second believe she and Willas had managed to escape the watchful eye of Olenna Tyrell? She never missed a thing, no exceptions.

She raised her ring finger with an golden emerald ring on it. She didn’t do festive sweaters or earrings in the shape of Santa’s, she combined rings the worth of cars to create a festive colour palette. ‘Suddenly going from a peck on the cheek to on the lips under the mistletoe.’

She raised her pinkie. ‘Taking forever to carry in two Irish coffees.’

Sansa felt her cheeks burning, remembering how he’d lifted her onto the counter and turned her world upside down.

A proverbial stone fell on her stomach when Olenna lifted the thumb of her right hand as well. ‘Taking hour long walks outside, alone.’

Her index finger rose. ‘Those constant looks.’

She delivered the killing blow when she raised her middle finger, decorated with a pearl ring. ‘And your hands are connected below the table right as we speak.’

Sansa felt Willas’ fingers tightening around her as he pulled up their hands, placing them on the table.

‘Well played’, he complimented his grandmother.

‘You owe me thirty’, Garlan grinned.

‘What? I thought you wouldn’t bet’, Sansa chastised, looking up at Willas.

‘One day, we’ll learn’, Willas merely said.

Leonette, obviously unbothered by the betting, placed a kiss on her fiancé’s cheek.

‘We specified mother and father though, Garlan’, Willas pointed out.

Garlan turned towards his parents.

‘Did you know?’

‘I had an… inkling’, Alerie admitted diplomatically.

Mace shrugged. ‘I thought you were all just getting along and getting acquainted.’

As expected, Sansa thought to herself.

But now what?

‘So, it is true, Willas, Sansa?’ Alerie asked.

Sansa nodded, looking down.

Gods, this was so awkward, right underneath their roof.

‘Since… when?’ Mace asked, the perfect opposite to his wife’s tact.

‘Only this holiday’, Willas confessed.

‘Really?’ Alerie asked, clearly surprised.

‘My.’

What was that supposed to mean? Did they give the impression of being together for longer?

‘Well dears, I wish you all happiness’, Alerie smiled politely.

‘That’s Margaery’s best friend, Willas. Careful’, Olenna warned.

‘Yes, that’s my friend Willas. Careful now, you don’t want to hurt my best friend’, Margaery grinned.

Sansa could just die.

‘Seven save me.’

‘They never saved you before’, Olenna said with dry humour.

‘Grandmother!’ Margaery cried out.

‘Just the truth. What? Expect me to believe in Gods helping dumb Tyrell men after my husband flung himself and his horse from that cliff?’

Nobody said something for a while, until Garlan started talking about the living horses he was currently dealing with.

After dinner, Sansa went to the kitchen to make her pavlova. Loras and Garlan had loaded the dishwasher with everything from dinner and their own baking.

‘Knock knock, can I watch?’ Leonette asked, hopping in with Margaery, the both of them clinging onto their wine glasses from dinner.

‘Sure’, Sansa said.

‘Garlan likes baked goods. You’re good at making baked goods. And I learn best by watching, so I thought, well’, she smiled, sitting down at the kitchen table.

And thus Margaery and Leonette kept Sansa company as she made her lemon curd and pavlova.

Sansa was laughing all the way through her baking, and as such didn’t really pay much attention to details she usually remembered. Like pushing up her sleeves beforehand, or tying her hair. And she only realized those mistakes when she was bending forward and her hair got in her way, or when the mixer spat up a bit of egg white onto her blouse and hair.

As the pavlova was in the oven, she and the other girls returned to the living room.

‘I thought I’d take a bath tomorrow, but I’d better do it tonight’, Sansa sighed as she sat down beside Willas who had been reading a book. Now that the cat was out of the bag, there was little use in sitting down anywhere else.

‘Mhm… Do I smell lemon?’ he asked.

‘You do’, Sansa said as she plucked a drop of lemon curd out of her hair. She’d probably pushed her hair back with a dirty hand.

‘You’re always free to join me’, she teased, knowing the invitation would be rejected. A bath was rarely had in darkness, or with covers.

‘You’re positively wicked’, he smirked, tapping her on the nose.

‘Oh, personally I thought the adjective ‘economical’ or perhaps ‘ecological’ would be far better suited’, she replied.

He scratched a spot off hardened egg white from her sleeve.

‘It could be called that as well, I guess’, he agreed.

And that was all that was said on the topic. She didn’t mind. She was perfectly satisfied with the way things were. They had progressed so much in so few days, she was certain everything would work out. She wasn’t in a hurry.

But she didn’t mind teasing. He’d practically encouraged her to tease and push him.

Some time later, the alarm on her phone went off.

‘Pavlova time, I’ll be getting it out of the oven and then I’ll go and draw myself a nice little bath.’

Willas nodded, pressing a kiss against her head.

‘I think I’ll stay upstairs afterwards. Perhaps do some more schoolwork, or just watch a series.’

He nodded in approval.

The pavlova turned out wonderful. She decided to only fill it up with curd the day after, so it wouldn’t grow soft.

Passing the living space a final time, she waited until Willas spotted her. He almost sensed her arrival. She smiled and winked. Or whatever passed as a Sansa wink, she knew it was more of a blink. He shot her a toothy grin in greeting.

The bath was black, glimmering in the candlelight. Sansa tapped the pink, blue and green circles of bath bomb still floating on the surface whenever they crept too close to her face. This was heaven.

She’d neglected the lights, opting to instead light twenty small candles.

She closed her eyes, shivering as the heat of the grapefruit scented water soaked into her skin.

Time to put on an innocent series to watch.

She took her phone from the edge, her index finger hovering in front of the touch screen. Her eye fell on the Instagram button. A thought popped up in her head, sudden and intrusive.

No, she decided, she couldn’t. She pushed the evil thought away.

Or could she?

She tapped the app open, going to her dm’s.

She shouldn’t.

She wasn’t the type.

Why should she even consider it?

She tapped on her conversation with Willas.

What if something went wrong and she accidentally published it as a story? Or sent it to someone else? She’d never done that before. But _what if_?

She shook her head. It was silly. A grin grew on her face, too silly.

Or was it?

What was the harm?

The water was practically opaque.

She could control the picture.

She tapped the camera button in their conversation, and put her hair in a nice way so that it floated around her shoulders. She looked as pale as a ghost against the backdrop of black water. She repositioned, until her breasts were in the right position.

And then she took a picture. She tapped the drawing icon, and drew a yellow halo around her head. She had to smile. Objectively, it was a nice picture.

It was nothing he hadn’t seen before.

 _Grow some balls, Stark,_ she scolded, and hit send.

And then the panic began.

What if someone was sitting beside him?

What if someone was walking behind him? What if he was talking to someone as he opened it? As he didn’t know to expect it.

 _Too late_ , she told herself.

She threw her phone away and sank into the water.

How did Arya always manage to do brave and reckless things without complete panic attacks afterwards?

Oh, yeah. She accepted it was done and there was nothing she could do about it. She considered worrying a useless pastime. Like one could exercise control over their worries.

Wack.

She let out a breath and opened her eyes again. The coloured circles were shrinking. World’s smallest disco was turning into a dark night.

She took her phone back with fearful hands. Her message had been opened three minutes ago. No reply.

Crap.

She put on a song and threw her phone away from the tub. She wasn’t in the mood for a series anymore.

Would he laugh? Would he comment on it?

She shook her head, it had been a silly idea.

After allowing herself to drown in embarrassment for a while, she reached for her shampoo.

 _Knock_.

Sansa froze.

_Knock knock._

‘Yes?’ Sansa hesitantly asked.

‘May I come in?’

Sansa froze.

Willas.

It was Willas.

Her heartbeat picked up.

He’d come. Oh gods, it had actually worked?

She looked around, but realized that she couldn’t exactly make herself decent or change anything.

‘Yes’, she replied, sinking deeper into the tub.

The door creaked open.

‘Figured I might as well hold you company’, he explained with a slight smirk.

‘Did you now? How kind’, Sansa stammered.

He put his book on the sink, and sat down on the edge of the tub.

‘It’s really black’, he said in disbelief.

‘Of course.’

‘With glitter.’

‘Mhm. And it feels very soft too, want to feel?’

She asked, reaching out a wet hand covered in glitter.

He smirked, pushing up his sleeves before he took hold of her hand, tracing a cold finger down her arm.

‘Very smooth.’

Sansa shivered underneath his gaze.

‘Are you going to use that,’ he asked, nodding at the bottle of shampoo in her hands.

She looked back at her other hand, as if the bottle of shampoo had only now materialized there.

‘I uh… I was going to’, she said.

‘Allow me?’ he asked, reaching for the bottle.

‘Oh uhm. Yes.’

He took the bottle from her hand. Rubbing the shampoo between his palms.

Sansa bit her lip, turning her head away from him. He started massaging her scalp with diligence, neither too hard, or too soft. She hummed, relaxing in his grip. As she relaxed, she slipped deeper.

‘Careful now, I still need to reach you.’

Sansa propped herself back up.

‘Sorry. But you could always join me?’

‘Am I not joining you?’ Willas asked, his voice light and teasing.

‘Hmm’, Sansa hummed as his thumbs rubbed deep circles around her temples.

‘You’re pretty good you know?’

‘Why thank you. Rinse.’

Sansa slipped down, arching her back and slipping the back of her head underwater to give it a good rinse. She moved to sit up again.

‘Yes?’ Willas asked with an amused voice.

‘I always double rinse’, she explained.

‘What, I have to wash it again?’

‘If you please, my lord’, she grinned.

‘Ever glad to be of service’, Willas laughed.

‘You don’t need to be as thorough now’, she explained.

Once he was done she came up again. Willas’ hands were already decorated with dollops of shower foam.

She grinned, propping herself up high so he could better massage her.

‘I believe my breasts are clean now’, she teased.

‘One can never be too thorough’, he replied.

Sansa giggled, and apparently that changed something, because with a groan Willas drew back, sitting straight.

Sansa drew up her legs and turned to look at him.

‘What is it?

‘I give up.’

‘You give up?’ she pushed.

He bit his lip, looking around the bathroom.

 _Oh_ , she realized.

Oh.

She didn’t thing anything she said would be right at this moment, so she merely smiled.

Willas rose and disappeared into his bedroom.

Was she interpreting his actions the right way?

She could barely believe it. Had she even done anything special? What had changed?

Her mind turned and twisted, racing like a feral cat locked up in a tiny room. What was the best way to respond? What should she say? What should she do?

Willas reappeared, carrying his crutches.

Words tickled her lips. 

She couldn’t let this turn awkward either.

‘Joining me?’ she gently teased.

‘I had to bathe anyway.’

‘How economical of you’, she smiled.

He rolled his eyes, but undid the buttons of his shirt.

‘Are you enjoying the show?’ he asked with an amused scowl.

‘Very’, she grinned, leaning on the edge of the tub.

‘Can’t I?’

‘One would say you were the one who’d been celibate for five years instead of me.’

No direct reply, but she accepted it. She retreated, looking at the black bathwater. It was still quite hot, but perhaps adding a bit more wouldn’t be a bad idea. She pulled on the hot water tap. She could distinguish the rustling sound of his pants underneath the rushing of the water. And then she heard him sitting down on the edge of the tub.

She drew back towards the back of the tub even more, giving him all the needed space.

The water moved around her, the black liquid lapping at the sides of the white tub.

She heard him drawing in his breath.

‘Are trying to boil us alive?’

‘You never heard of our hot water pools then, I take’, Sansa laughed.

Willas let out a breath. The glittery black water rose, and this time she felt a leg sliding past her hip.

‘This is not what I expected when I got together with a Northerner.’

Sansa relaxed her arms, and stretched her legs until her back connected with Willas. Her nerve-endings were on high alert as she eased against him, one of his arms coming to rest around her ribs and another on the edge of the bath.

‘This is… nice’, Sansa let out, resting her cheek against his chest. It was so warm and comfortable and relaxing. She’d expected it would just be exciting, and it was, but it also felt incredibly peaceful.

‘It is’, Willas admitted.

‘The water feels very odd.’

‘It’s the oils. It’s filled with skin nourishing things.’

‘Things’, Willas repeated.

‘Like you would even understand if I gave the list of ingredients.’

‘Do you know the list of ingredients?’

‘I don’t’, Sansa admitted. ‘But nevertheless, you’re not a chemist either. I already know there’s oils in it, and citrus fruit.’

She watched Willas’ hand let go of her ribs and float through the water before he brought it to his face for inspection.

‘That explains the glitter.’

‘Hm?’

‘I noticed glitter on the tub, somewhere last week.’

‘Oh. Yeah, I try to clean up, but glitter is quite tricky.’

‘I thought glitter was bad, pollutant and all’, he muttered.

‘It’s biodegradable.’

‘Ah.’

Sansa laughed at his lack of knowledge. The bath was her domain of expertise. She turned to the side a bit, the water now dangerously flirting with the edge of the tub. Their lips found each other like magnets, their kiss languid and slow.

It felt queer and novel to touch each other like this, with the water flowing between them, their bodies slick and smooth. She felt lazy as she rested against his chest, her hands slowly tracing up and down his legs. His hand was heavy on her breast, but it was a lovely soothing weight. And in their cosy darkness, she felt so at ease the question just rolled off her lips.

‘What changed?’

The air grew heavy in the dark room. And for a while naught but the sounds of the water moving around them was to be heard.

His chest rose and fell underneath her, and when he next spoke, she felt his voice before she heard it.

‘I wanted my normal life back.’

Her hand stilled on his good leg.

‘But what is normal? Doing things you want, or deliberately avoiding them?’

She pressed a soft kiss on his chest.

‘It’s the anniversary soon. Nothing’s getting fixed. But I want to feel free again.’

Ever so carefully, Sansa let her fingertips wander across his right leg.

‘New Year’s was the last carefree party I had.’

She looked up at him then. His eyes found hers, warm and soft.

‘I kind of want it to be the first one now. There must be some poetic justice about that.’

The corners of his mouth curled upwards.

‘Wasn’t Christmas carefree?’ she asked.

‘It was. But not like this’, he smiled. His hand found hers, and picked it up from his leg. He placed a soft kiss on it.

She bit her lip.

‘You can smile if you want to, you know?’ he asked.

Her lip slipped from between her teeth as the corners of her mouth lifted, pulling her lips taut.

‘It takes time’, she admitted. Frankly, she wasn’t even surprised he’d noticed how hesitant she always was to express herself.

‘It sure does’, he acknowledged.

Of course he knew.

‘I could fall asleep like this’, she admitted, resting her cheek against his chest once more.

‘Sounds dangerous, you might drown.’

‘Would you let me?’

‘I wouldn’t’, he promised.

The soft silence continued, their united hands sinking into the water.

‘We should switch around. So I can wash your hair’, Sansa then suggested.

‘That will take some acrobatics.’

‘Nawh, I’m sure we’ll work it out’, she decided.

She sat up straight, and then lifted herself so she sat on the edge of the tub.

Willas nodded, looking up at her figure with a smile.

‘Then the only question remains how much of this witches’ brew we’ll spill in the process.’


	21. Chapter 21

On the final day of 2020 Highgarden awoke to a fresh layer of snow on all roofs and surfaces, smoothing over all traces of life that had been made in the old snow carpet. Sansa gazed at the pale pink sky, admiring the snowy tops of the ancient Highgarden walls she could see from the window. She was still abed, buried underneath the covers with an arm slung over Willas’ sleeping body.

The peace did not remain for long. There was shouting in the courtyard. The sharp frost had frozen the snow that had fallen on the cars that were still parked outside and apparently the cardoors refused to open now, and all car windows had to be scrubbed. Alerie and Olenna weren’t happy.

 _Not my problem_ , Sansa decided. She stretched and curled herself around Willas again.

_Who would have thought Willas Tyrell would enjoy being a little spoon?_

Here and there, glitter particles were still stuck to his skin from their bath the night before.

As she buried her nose in his soft curls, she was once again amazed by how natural and easy it had been the past two weeks. She cursed her exams for blocking the further development of her relationship for the next month.

 _Don’t think about it. Right now you can still rest and enjoy holding him for half an hour,_ she told herself.

And so she closed her eyes, and focussed on the feel of his breathing against her chest until he roused. Today, she didn’t hurry getting out of bed. Instead she enjoyed the lazy touches and long kisses. The sun shone down on them through the once again improperly closed windows. Combined with their activities underneath the sheets they were soon near melting.

With a sigh and a groan, she finally beat away the blankets about forty minutes after Willas woke up, bringing them both a cold glass of water from the bedroom.

‘Plans?’

‘Not really, I endeavour to do perfectly nothing today.’

‘As you ought’, Willas decided.

‘As I oughtn’t’, Sansa corrected him. ‘It’s not the best study attitude.’

‘Do you really think you’ll fail?’

‘Let’s not go there, please. I don’t think I will, but I don’t want to jinx it by saying I won’t.’

‘Sounds wise’, he agreed.

‘So, breakfast?’

‘Yes please.’

‘A happy last day of the worst year ever’, Garlan greeted everyone as he arrived downstairs, for once also quite late.

‘About damn time, it lasted a century’, Loras huffed before cutting some egg off his omelette.

‘Worst year, eh?’ Willas asked. ‘Is that how you talk about the year you made the most money you’ve made as of yet and proposed to your fiancée?’

Garlan grinned in a self-aware fashion.

‘Alright it had a couple of good things but it was dull as fuck. I haven’t seen some friends in over nine months and my cabin fever is so high that if it hadn’t been for Leonette I would have done the most stupid impulsive shit.’

‘You have actually done some stupid shit’, Leonette corrected. ‘But less stupid shit than in normal years since you didn’t get as much occasions to meet with friends and conspire to do stupid things.’

‘See? Boring. Barely any memories made.’

‘Worst year of my life too. I miss everything. Parties. People. I miss people so much. Even the stupid silly conversations with strangers on trains or waiting in line while ordering fries. Gods, I’m going to snog everyone once I meet them again’, Margaery complained.

‘That’s not advisable’, Renly laughed.

‘But still,’ Margaery insisted, ‘I accept that this is my worst year. I’m sure for some this year turned out quite alright.’

‘Whoever enjoyed this year must be either a masochist or antisocial’, Renly frowned.

‘Or must have had worse years’, Margaery said, opening her eyes wide hoping Renly would understand why she tried to put it into perspective.

Willas carefully ignored most eyes going to him as he put jam on his toast.

He hadn’t enjoyed 2020, but it didn’t hold a candle to the torment of 2016.

‘So, Sansa and I have been thinking’, Margaery started, trying to change the topic.

‘Oh dear’, Loras sighed.

Margaery pouted her lips but continued. ‘We thought it interesting to play a game tonight.’

‘Is it difficult?’ Renly asked.

‘Would it take long?’ Loras asked.

‘Cool, what?’ Garlan grinned.

‘A murder mystery. It’s not very hard. We think. We picked one of medium difficulty. Certainly, with so many amazing college educated brains around here, solving a medium mystery must be an easy feat?’ Margaery asked with a sly smile.

Just like she expected, everyone accepted the challenge. If they refused, they admitted to being stupid.

‘Someone gets murdered on a train, and we’re all present. We each get some seven pages detailing our backstory and a chronological description of what we’ve been doing, saying and seeing on the train. Once we’ve read our backstories we start the game. Everyone will be allowed to ask everyone questions, and everyone needs to answer them honestly, although you can be a bit non-committal. But obviously you can’t just ask: “Did you kill someone?”. That only happens at the end, when we decide to put it up to a vote.’

‘Sounds cool.’

‘Can I be the detective?’

‘Can I be the body?’

‘No one plays the body. No detective. Everyone can do detective work.’

‘I bet you’ll be the killer’, Loras said, grinning at Margaery.

‘Pretty sure’, Garlan agreed.

‘I’d bet ten silvers that she already read the whole thing and knows who the killer is’, Willas decided.

‘Stop betting for a day, please!’ Sansa sighed.

‘And no, Margaery doesn’t know the killer. We made that mistake with some of the games but we’ve deliberately not read this one. Nobody knows the killer.’

‘You could be conspiring with her’, Renly reasoned.

‘Listen, I get that in the Baratheon and Tyrell household things might be different, but in Winterfell we still believe in the ancient concept of honour. I won’t sacrifice my integrity for a stupid game.’

‘And that’s why your family always died by the dozens in war’, Renly joked.

‘Hey! And it’s not like yours fared any better.’

‘We made other kinds of mistakes.’

‘Stupid mistakes’, Loras joked.

Renly rolled his eyes and gave his fiancé a pat against the head.

At that moment Olenna and Alerie arrived back from the shop and Sansa offered to help put everything away in the fridge and pantry.

Olenna wasted no time shooing everyone out so they had the whole kitchen at their disposal.

As the youngsters wandered through the halls, aimlessly searching for an occupation to fill the day until the evening, Mace Tyrell stepped out of his office.

‘Where are you all going?’

‘We don’t know?’

‘You didn’t happen to be planning on going outside, were you?’ he questioned.

‘We might, but it wasn’t a plan’, Margaery answered.

‘Just as well. I needed to speak to you all.’

And then Mace Tyrell made the biggest mistake he could have made.

‘I want to be clear that nobody is allowed to take any of the cars out for a slip drive on either ice or snow’, he said, giving them a stern look over his very small reading glasses that were a poor fit on his rather round face.

‘We weren’t going to do that’, Leonette said.

‘Not that it would go great. Last time we tried that Garlan forgot to turn off his ABS so he was as safe as grandma’s fig chocolates’, Loras grinned.

‘Safe as fig chocolates?’ Sansa whispered.

‘Nobody eats those except her, so it’s the only snack that rests peacefully in the candy cupboard without fear of being stolen in the dead of night’, Willas replied underneath his breath.

‘Sansa and Leo and I were considering ice skating. That’s fine, right?’ Margaery asked, eyes round and innocent.

For some reason Mace Tyrell still believed girls to be more innocent than boys, so he nodded.

‘Oh my god. That’s right, it’s been freezing!’ Garlan cried.

Loras rolled his eyes.

‘We could hockey! It’s been years since it froze long enough for us to play hockey. We haven’t in like… how many years?’

‘Seven’, Willas replied, quiet.

Sansa guessed that skating was probably a bit too ambitious.

‘Guys, are we playing hockey?’ Garlan asked.

The others agreed, except for Willas, who didn’t answer.

‘Willas, can I try your new car? I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like driving a fancy one with a million buttons.’

‘You’re exaggerating’, Willas scowled. ‘It’s closer to twenty.’

‘Please?’

‘Can we talk first?’

Garlan and Willas walked away, reappearing some minutes later with inconspicuous smiles on their faces.

‘It’s arranged. We’re going hockying.’

Sansa shot Willas a worried glance, but he merely winked before he and all others went upstairs to put on warm clothes.

‘What did you two talk about?’ Sansa asked, slipping through their bedroom.

‘I’ve been straining my leg the past two weeks, wearing it every hour of the day. And the chance of me ever ice-skating was already sub-zero.’

‘So?’

‘So we’re going for test drives through the snow.’

‘But – ‘

‘Only two people fit in my car, so we need a second car. And you girls are taking a third, you’re taking Renly’s. Leo’s car isn’t really a competitor. So we have three cars to play around with.’

‘I…’

She bit her lip, shaking her head.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Tell me.’

‘You think it’s wise?’

Willas frowned, as if she was worried about them playing with cuddle toys instead of very dangerous cars on a bad road.

‘Willas, you almost… Really? After all that happened? And… can you even drive the other cars?’

‘Can? Yes. Is it legally allowed? No.’

‘Willas.’

‘Look, I know what I’m doing. I’m not reckless, alright?’ he asked, coming up to her.

He pressed a kiss against her forehead.

‘But –‘

‘Relax’, he said, his voice carrying a dangerous tension she’d never heard before. ‘I know how to drive. We won’t do anything reckless.’

He knew how to drive last time. He’d trained his driving every day and things had still gone wrong. Now it had been years since he drove dangerously on the regular, and he… well, he didn’t even have all his limbs to help him out this time.

But maybe on the other hand this was just her fear talking, and she was underestimating him. And wounding his pride in the process. She know how delicate he was concerning the topic of his own abilities.

Her heart stopped. Stubborn Tyrells. She wouldn’t be able to stop him. Unless she was willing to fight him.

_But if he has an accident, I might lose him._

‘Fine’, she murmured, going back to her own bedroom. She hadn’t brought skates but Margaery had a spare couple, of course.

Twenty minutes later they were all dressed and ready, outside on the courtyard. Sansa’s dark blue coat was white with snow from scrubbing the front window as Margaery did the back.

Willas’ shiny red car came out of the garage, followed by Garlan’s black more family-minded one.

‘Well, look at our lovely snow women’, Garlan grinned, patting the snow dust off his fiancée’s coat.

‘I hope this serves as a warning about putting your car inside’, he told Renly.

‘For that one time it snows in Highgarden?’ Renly laughed. ‘Nah.’

‘I’ll see you at the lake. Race you there’, Leonette smiled, putting a quick kiss on Garlan’s lips before moving over to the driver’s side.

‘What but I’m not even in my car yet!’ Garlan complained, rushing to his.

During Leonette’s speech Sansa and Margaery had already moved inside their car.

‘Too bad, honey!’ Leonette shouted, jumping into her car which was already running.

‘Seatbelts?’

‘Check!’

They carefully rode over the driveway which wasn’t cleared of all snow yet. But the roads were great, salted every day for the past four weeks. In twenty minutes they were out of Highgarden and the walled city beneath, and at the lake that had been created for agricultural purposes right behind the old city.

Margaery, Sansa and Leonette jumped out. There weren’t too many people on the lake, just some twenty or thirty.

‘Perfect’, Margaery purred. ‘Oh I haven’t skated in so long.’

‘Me neither’, sighed Leonette.

It took four more minutes for Willas to arrive.

He hopped out. Sansa decided she rather give him a goodbye than hold a grudge, and moved towards him.

‘You still have a shiny car’, she noticed.

‘Of course I have a shiny car’, he scowled, putting his arms around her.

Another bad thing to say on her account, it’s not like he was forced to have a standard bland grey car just because he couldn’t use a gear lever.

‘Not exactly family friendly’, she smiled, trying to compensate.

‘Why would it have to be? Are you in a hurry?’ he teased.

‘Oh. Oh no’, she stammered.

‘Thought so’, he decided.

She pushed her face against his chest.

‘Hey there.’

‘Just be safe, okay?’ she muttered.

‘I’ll be fine. We’ll hardly get to real racing speeds. We’re going to ride on this gliding club field, they have this 500 meter landing strip that’s just perfect for this. And they’re not flying today.’

At least there was no chance they’d bump into other cars or police.

‘Okay.’

She had to at least give him the credit of being able to estimate the safety of a driving situation.

‘The boys are slow’, Leonette complained, hopping from one foot to the other beside her car.

‘I want cuddles to keep me warm too.’

Garlan, Loras and Renly arrived five minutes later.

‘Fucking traffic light’, Garlan growled as he crawled out of his car.

‘Loser!’ Leonette cried.

Renly laughed and patted him on the back.

‘He’s doing a lot of losing this holiday.’

‘Shut it’, Garlan laughed. ‘New year, end of losing streak is what I say’, he decided.

‘Already looking for excuses for your future loss?’ Renly asked. ‘Because I’m going to beat you so hard you’ll move all the way to Hardhome to hide in shame.’

‘You bet!’ Garlan cried.

‘Indeed I do, I bet twenty.’

‘Deal!’

‘Come on, you bickersome bunch of fiancés. Into the cars you’, Loras sighed.

The women and men were split up soon. And Sansa had to admit that much as she was worried in the beginning, her mind constantly going to the boys, they left her mind within twenty minutes. The usually elegant Margaery stumbled the entire time, and Leonette – when not laughing at Margaery’s Bambi re-enactment – alternated between careful gliding and clutching Sansa’s arm to steady herself.

She was beside herself with laughter, and although the strain in her lower legs was burning ever more, she had no clue how much time had passed when they stumbled off the ice. Their legs were pudding, their steps as wobbly as those of baby giraffes. They plopped down in the snow, exchanging their skates for boots and taking a breather before they decided to hold a snow fight. It was utter rot. The old snow had frozen into ice, and the fresh snow was powdery, refusing to be formed in anything close to a ball. But throwing loose snow at each other was just as fun for them.

Sansa was fleeing from Leonette and Margaery when she spotted a black car passing by on the road.

Garlan.

She paused and got dusted with snow. She cringed as it crawled into the crevices between her skin and scarf.

‘Is that Garlan’s car?’ she asked.

By the time she did, she already recognized a silver one.

‘Yes, and Renly’s!’ Margaery cried.

Sansa smiled, if they had returned, surely nothing bad could have happened.

‘And there is Willas’, Leonette grinned as an aerodynamic looking red car appeared from around the bend.

The three cars parked neatly alongside each other.

‘You boys had fun?’ Leonette asked as she hopped over to her fiancée.

Margaery skipped over to Loras.

‘Won anything?’ she asked.

Sansa waited and watched her friends until Willas climbed out of his car, a relaxed smile on his face. He beckoned her and she drifted towards him.

‘Surprised to see me in one piece?’ he asked.

‘Happy to see you in one piece. I just care for you, you know? And I’m not one for thrill-seeking, I’m one for fretting’, she clarified. Finally finding the words to make him understand.

‘Clearly’, he smiled, slinging an arm around her.

‘Want to go for a ride?’

‘Where?’

‘Home, of course’, he grinned.

Her heart jumped.

‘Sure.’

‘Alright, my car’s full, see you at home!’ Willas cried towards the others as Sansa moved to take place in the passenger seat.

It was a very beautiful car with a lovely leather interior.

‘My seat’s warm’, Sansa brought out in surprise.

‘That it is, seat warming’, Willas grinned as he fell back into the driver’s seat.

She tried not to look too curious at the interface, buttons and wheel.

‘So, you didn’t embarrass them too horribly?’ Sansa asked.

‘Not too horribly. Still was the fastest though. In every car.’

‘I’m guessing they wouldn’t have been very fast in this car.’

‘No, not at all’, he laughed. ‘They all needed a crash intro in where everything was located and how they had to drive it. But it’s good. I actually would have strongly disapproved if they were overconfident and wrecked my baby with their careless driving.’

‘Your baby?’ Sansa asked incredulously.

Willas grinned.

‘There’ll always be a car on the side in this relationship, darling.’

He _was_ in a good mood, Sansa noticed with amusement.

‘Oh well, we’ve always been second to Winterfell, I think I’ll get used to being second to a car’, Sansa joked.

‘One fine day I’ll get over cars and it’ll change to Highgarden being the third person in this relationship. But I’d never put you on the second spot with an unfeeling object on the first one’, he assured her.

‘I’m honoured’, Sansa admitted.

‘So, had fun?’

‘Very’, he admitted. Remaining silent for a while.

‘It was the first time I could actually drive in a normal style again. Because I can’t do it on public roads. It’s not ideal, so I wouldn’t dare either, but it was just fun to do it in a safe place. I could never even try to play around, you know? No one to play around with.’

And then Sansa understood why he’d been so needled earlier this morning. Her worries had sounded like she questioned his capabilities, just like everyone else. And he’d accepted things were different, but he missed his hobby. He missed his job. And this, she realized, had been part of his healing process, something that was still raw and sensitive.

‘That’s nice’, Sansa admitted.

‘And the other men never want to race me again.’

‘Probably the wisest decision. They never should have raced a racer expecting to come out on top.’

Willas grinned.

‘Stupid move on their part. And they paid for it.’

‘Literally and by manner of speech?’ Sansa guessed.

Willas only grinned, keeping his eyes on the road.

Much of the remainder of the day was spent in a useless manner. The girls watching shitty romcoms while curling and pinning their hair and debating their evening looks. In the end Sansa ended up in a black dress with golden lines on it, Leonette put on a black sparkly dress and Margaery chose a purple jumpsuit with a neckline so deep no bra could be worn underneath it. Sansa would have fainted at the thought of her family seeing her in such a dress, and she was pretty sure her mother would faint at the sight. But to Margaery and Leonette, this was not even something to consider.

When she went downstairs it quickly became clear that New Year’s Eve had a more serious dress code than Christmas. Four tall figures in pristine black suits stood together, holding glasses of champagne. From the back, three of them looked nearly identical. All tall dashing figures with broad shoulders, narrow hips, and curly brown hair. It was only when they turned around one could see the tense lines in the youngest face, the generous smile in the second, and the distinct older-brother vibes in the face of the third face. 

The women were welcomed and given glasses of their own. Olenna and Alerie sat on the couch, Alerie on sensible flat shoes after a day of cooking, but any other trace of their hard work was erased. Golden sparkles decorated their eyes, red gleamed on their lips and their hair was done up in neat buns, both were decorated in family heirlooms.

‘Mommy, daddy, grandmommy, Sansa and I have a suggestion for tonight’, Margaery announced.

‘We thought it would be fun to play a murder mystery in between courses.’

‘Primrose of mine, really?’ Mace sighed. ‘Sounds like a hassle.’

‘Oh but it’s light-hearted fun. I swear’, Margaery promised, procuring backstories for ten persons from underneath the living room table.

‘It’s actually very easy. We each read through a measly seven pages and then we can start a murder investigation. The gist of it is that we are all characters on a train together, of which one has murdered someone. And by interviewing each other, and answering based on our backstories we’ll try and guess the killer. Whoever finds the killer wins. Unless you are the killer, of course, in which case your goal is to frame someone else and make your answers sound as innocent as possible.’

Mace frowned, looking around the room.

‘I’m fine with it’, Alerie decided.

Olenna had a wicked glint in her eyes as she nodded.

‘We knew. And we support the plan’, Garlan declared.

‘Fine’, Mace decided, stretching his hand towards Margaery and accepting his fate.

It was the most quiet appetizer course Sansa had ever sat through as everyone drank champagne and ate cold and hot appetizers. The only sounds were muttered curses, gasps, and hasty panicked breaths whenever someone ate an appetizer that was still too hot for their tongues to handle, followed by sniggering of those who sat around the poor creature who burnt their tongue.

Olenna darted out of the room, coming out with pens and markers and throwing them on the table.

‘At my age I’m too old to remember everything’, she explained as she drew a line underneath something on her page.

‘Clever, mother’, Mace said, taking a pen as well.

Once everyone was done reading, it was time for soup. Sansa and Willas left, reheating all the soups and carrying them to the dining room table.

‘I am Miss Eugenia Hilton, wealthy heiress from Essos, desperately looking for love on the continent’, Garlan smiled, propping his head up on his hands.

‘I am Dr. Douleur, germaphobe, lover of drinks, and obviously way too prissy to ever consider murder’, Margaery smiled.

‘It’s her’, Loras declared.

‘And you are?’ she asked, appearing as uptight and snobby as the doctor she wanted to portray.

‘Panter Gold, retired athlete, wealthy investor, and absolute heartthrob’, he grinned.

‘Of course you’d get a role like that’, Renly laughed.

‘Dame Rhaenys Fontaine, thrice widowed and currently wed to Jaeharys Fontaine’, Renly said, doing his best to sound very posh.

‘You’re married to me’, Alerie smiled.

‘Jaeharys Fontaine, wealthy businessman who just acquired a new business on the continent and is taking the train towards it to inspect his purchase.’

Then it was Mace’s turn.

‘Mr. Rolling, train conductor.’

‘Sir Umbryn, heir to the Umbryn fortune’, Willas explained.

‘Miss Sarah, maid of Dame Rhaenys’, Sansa admitted.

‘Mr. Law, ambitious attorney’, Leonette declared.

‘Lady Harmony, world renowned piano player on her way to her next performance’, Olenna said with all dignity and airs of a performer fully invested in her role.

‘I’ll do the quick intro’, Margaery decided.

‘Dearly fellow arrested, we are gathered here today because Lord Christopher Murderedson was found with five stab wounds, naked, near a rope and with his face purple. He was an avid gambler, partier and honoured member of parliament. His time of death is between ten thirty and twelve. The train has been stopped until we find a killer. I pray our united minds are able to find the horrible murderer’, Margaery said, face full of sincerity before she broke out in a grin.

‘Okay, let’s start.’ 

The evening brought them many surprises. Sansa was not surprised to find out that after Fontaine was accused by Dr. Douleur of being seen playing a tense game of poker with Lord Murderedson around nine, he had an excuse for at least two hours after their game ended since he was cheating on Dame Fontaine with Sansa’s character. She was however surprised that Lady Eugenia was seen with a rope, the same one found near the body. However a bit later she choked on her fish when she found out she’d used it on Mr. Law who had slept with her in the hope of climbing up society’s ladder. But Lord Murderedson had walked in on them before they’d gotten started. Apparently he was friends with Lady Eugenia’s father and had put the whole thing to a hold.

Sir Umbryn had also won a large amount of money from Lord Murderedson, but Murderedson had yet to pay it. Sansa noted this as an excuse for Sir Umbryn to kill him, or steal his money. Next it turned out that Lord Murderedson was broke, and had borrowed the money from Fontaine, giving both Fontaines reason to kill him.

Tensions were rising as almost everyone was revealed to have had tense interactions with him, even Sansa, who had been accosted by him.

During the main course, the questions were getting quite heated, with everyone defending their character with passion, even if they had not cared to act like them in the past. 

‘Perhaps it’s time to put this charade to an end’, Alerie suggested as she took the bowl of fries and put some more on her plate. ‘Let’s just pinpoint a murderer. It’s getting quite late.’

Sansa looked at her phone in shock. Twenty before midnight. She couldn’t believe how the night had flown by.

‘Yes, please’, Loras sighed. ‘I need a smoke. Can we have a break, think things through, and then vote?’

‘Ha, you bet!’ Olenna cried. ‘That is what you want, some more time to absolve yourself of the blame. We should stay here. I will not allow you to go running around, talking to everyone, influencing them, pointing them in the wrong direction, putting people up against each other. Everyone needs to stay in this room until it is decided.’

‘Gods damn it all. It’s not me. It’s never been me. I didn’t kill him despite that he stole five of my soccer players,yes I was seen threatening him in the hallway and yes I was seen with a knife and he had stab wounds. But it’s all coincidence! I didn’t kill him.’

‘Sure honey’, Olenna huffed.

‘No one has motives as good as you or was literally spotted with the murder weapon.’

‘It’s unclear how he died! Sir whoever the fuck Willas plays wanted a lot of money from him as well! Or how about Dame Fontaine, she had slept with Lord Murderedson in the past and he owed her husband a lot of money he couldn’t repay. Or how about you? You were seen with Sara between nine and ten, in the hallway by the doctor around ten, and then you were comforting Lady Eugenia around twelve but we still don’t know where you were in between.’

‘Well, I wasn’t murdering him, that’s for sure’, Olenna tutted. ‘As a pianist I need private time to rest and work on my art. Any number of things. You also don’t know where the conductor was between ten and eleven.’

‘Mind you mother, don’t drag me into this mess. I had nothing to do with it’, Mace decided, turning up his nose.

Everyone started jumping to their own defence and accusing others of being more suspicious until Alerie hit her glass with a spoon.

‘Enough. We’ll be going over to a vote now. I believe we’ve all been able to list our suspicions.’

Everyone nodded, putting their hair in order and taking sips of wine.

‘I have a sheet of paper, I’ll rip it into pieces and hand out pens’, Margaery decided before doing as she told.

Margaery counted the votes. Three for Dame Fontaine. One for Sir Umbryn. Five for Panter Gold. And one for Lady Harmony.

‘You fools’, Loras cursed.

‘What?’

‘It’s not me! I’m not the murderer. Yes, I threatened Lord Murderedson for stealing the best players of the soccer team I invested in. And yes, I was in his bedroom and stabbed him but it was dark and when I put the light on I saw he must have been dead already. I didn’t do it, someone was before me.’

‘Then who…’ Margaery wondered.

Willas turned towards Olenna. ‘You, it’s you’, he accused.

‘Told you’, Loras growled.

Olenna grinned. ‘Got away with it though, didn’t I?’

‘But… Why? And how?’

‘Lord Murderedson and I had a history, regularly sleeping together. He was my wealthy benefactor, but no one of you ever bothered asking whether I knew him before or whether I knew him well. Your mistake. He was going to end our arrangement, so I went to his bedroom, poisoned his champagne, slept with him and then I left. He must have died shortly afterwards.’

‘And then I came in’, Loras concluded.

In the grave silence that followed, an explosion suddenly shook them all from the topic.

‘Damn!’

‘Fuck!’

‘Oh by the seven.’

‘What the – ‘

‘Already?’

‘Shit!’

‘Champagne!’

They all jumped up, running in all different directions.

The window door to the garden was unlocked and opened, the family streaming out.

Sansa cursed as her feet sank into over an inch of snow. She wore pumps, but with her feet now entirely covered by snow, the cold stung as much as it would have had she been on bare feet. It creaked underneath her feet as she hobbled forward, a cold wind slicing through the fabric of her skirt.

Music drifted outside, someone had put on a classic New Year’s Eve song.

Sansa’s teeth clattered as she looked up towards the sky, arrows of green, blue, pink, yellow and red shooting up towards the sky from the riverbank.

‘It’s stunning’, Sansa stammered, her breath turning into clouds as she spoke. Winterfell had been too far away from society so they never saw the fireworks, only heard them in the distance.

‘It is’, Willas admitted as he shrugged out of his blazer, putting it on Sansa’s shoulders before he moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

Despite her feet being stung with a million little needles, she instantly felt warmer.

2021 had arrived, 2020 was finally over, she was dating Willas fucking Tyrell and was being cuddled by him on New Year’s. The new year was off to a great start.

Making it even greater were Margaery and Loras who ran outside with bottles of champagne, popping them and pushing them into the arms of every couple. Garlan came out carrying three glasses for the adults, filling them with champagne in a civilized manner before giving another bottle to Leonette who took a sip straight from the bottle before passing it on to Garlan.

Sansa accepted a bottle from Margaery, taking a sip before offering Willas some, keeping hold of the bottle so he could keep hold of her. He laughed so hard at being bottle-fed by her that quite a bit landed on his shirt and her shoulder, but it was worth it.

His eyes were sparkling, even in the dark of night.

‘Happy New Year, Willas’, she smiled. This year, she was the first to say it.

‘Happy 2021, Sansa’, he wished. And although he didn’t know he was almost perfectly repeating himself, she knew. And it made her smile only wider. Just like last time, they would kiss. But this time, he’d remember it. And the future she’d dreamt of was actually possible.

She pushed herself upward, meeting his lips in a kiss. His lips were cold but soft, and they tasted of delightful promises and future happiness.

In time, they turned back to admire the fireworks until the very last boom, despite the bitter cold. Sansa treasured every moment of it, even if Willas had to support her back inside as her feet had frozen to the point of numbness.

But they melted as soon as her heart when they sat back down at the table and he massaged the life back into them while Mace and Olenna carried in the dessert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whether my dad and his friends still try out each other’s cars whenever there’s a gliding competition at 3 am? Why yes. Whether that’s where all kids of glider pilots learn how to drive? Why yes.   
> Since the Reach is lowkey fashioned after France and in France that sport is subsidized ergo many clubs all around, I figured Highgarden could have one as well.  
> In need of some cuteness: look at this short clip of baby giraffes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9FunBolqvA .


	22. Chapter 22

On New Year’s morning Sansa awoke overheated with a pounding head and a ringing phone.

While her family had not called the previous day, which as her mother explained was due to the chaos of organizing New Year’s Eve, they now had plenty of time and material to talk about.

Sansa smiled through her mother’s account of the previous night, perfectly envisioning their traditional New Year’s Eve. She hummed in agreement as her mother asked her whether the menu sounded delicious, in the meantime dropping an aspirin in a glass of water in the bathroom. Only twenty-three and already drinking was turning into a bigger challenge than it had previously been, Sansa thought with regret.

‘And what did you do, dear?’

Sansa swallowed the foul aspirin liquid.

‘Well’, she started, swallowing to get the bad taste away. And then she explained everything about the desserts, the ice skating, the cheesy movies, the whodunnit and the fireworks.

Arya exploded in cries about how they had to do that at home next Christmas. She then heard a fumbling and rushing on the other side, and soon Arya’s voice sounded so close it was clear that she had stolen the telephone from Catelyn Stark. She demanded details about the game, asking over a dozen questions before her mother stole the phone back.

‘And how are your studies going, dear?’ she asked. As if it wasn’t eleven in the morning on the first of January. It was a cruel question that brought back all Sansa’s doubts and fears. So Sansa answered about the two classes she’d finished, and the third one she’d been studying for until the thirtieth. She explained how hard it was getting the material in her head, and how the information wouldn’t click.

And then, to worsen her guilt at taking the past and current day off her mother asked if it wouldn’t be better and wiser to: ‘already do a chapter or read through her past notes for an hour or two today, just to be certain.’

‘Maybe I should’, Sansa admitted.

By the time she got dressed for breakfast, which just existed of Renly’s brioche and Garlan’s cake smeared with leftovers of her lemon curd, she was already nervously thinking about her classes. The relaxed New Year’s mood was definitely over.

The whole family was just lounging around in the living room after breakfast. Sansa tried to join them, at first, but when Willas beat her at cyvasse in less than ten minutes she realized her focus was zero and her brain was in overdrive.

‘What is it?’

‘I think I should perhaps… I run behind.’

‘School?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I thought you were on track’, Willas said.

‘I was. I am. But, you know. Maybe I made my schedule a bit too… casual, low effort. I feel like the things I did the day before yesterday didn’t really get through to me. Whenever I try to recall them my mind blanks.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’re just stressing.’

She knew. He was right. But she couldn’t get the thought out of her head anymore. And she hated that, because she finally had a boyfriend and she wanted to spend time with him before her exams took place, which meant no Willas for weeks. But she couldn’t enjoy her time anymore.

‘But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to revise a bit, you know? Now that I’m feeling like it? Perhaps tomorrow I wake up with no energy whatsoever and then I’ll regret not doing it today when I’m feeling like it.’

‘Okay, if you’re sure.’

‘I’m sure’, she decided. Thus resigning herself to her fate she stood, pressing a long kiss on Willas’ lips before dragging herself to the kitchen, making a cup of tea and going upstairs.

The second she sat down and opened her book her panic increased, all foreign words burning on her retina. Her courage sank into her stomach. They told her nothing. She had a lot of work to do if she wanted to remember them all.

But as time passed and she put pen to paper, her anxiety decreased. It went slow, but the idea that she hadn’t planned on working today and was still managing to work her way through pages she only intended to do the next day kept her motivated.

After a chapter she put her book on her sheets that summarized it so only the key terms were left visible.

She turned her chair away after reading the name of a researcher.

‘Alright, he created a concept based on….’ She took a breath, closing her eyes and visualising the scheme he’d made dividing different negotiation techniques. ‘So he’s a structuralist and a realist who fits more in with the anarchical thinkers and he combined the models of… right.’

She went through name after name, term after term, connecting them to their overarching categories and places in the schemes she’d drawn.

And then she started on the next chapter.

She was ten pages in when Margaery knocked on her door.

‘Sansa, you’ve been up here for four hours what – Oh my god don’t tell me you’ve been isolating yourself studying the whole day? Dearest, you’ve done nothing but study the whole holiday except on the twenty-fourth, the twenty-fifth and yesterday. You don’t even have exams the first week.’

‘But they’re important Marge’, Sansa pouted.

‘And it stresses me out. I’m usually much more, well… thorough.’

Margaery sat down on Sansa’s bed.

‘At home I study from nine until midnight, or even later. Here I study from eleven until eleven and that’s with hour long breaks.’

‘You know you need breaks to relax your brain and let it all sink in, right?’ Margaery questioned.

‘Yeah, like fifteen minute breaks every one or two hours and half hours for food’, Sansa explained. ‘Perhaps every few days an hour long break to take a walk.’

‘Sansa really I don’t know how you survived that the past few years. You’re rigorous but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Your grades are always amazing. Taking some more breaks will what? Make the difference between an eighteen and a sixteen? You’re not skipping any material, you’re still studying everything.’

‘But I don’t study like I used to.’

‘Do you feel like you control it less than you usually do?’

‘No but…’, Sansa shrugged.

‘Dear, you don’t have to join us for relaxation if it only stresses you out in the end. But you also don’t need to deny yourself everything like a monk because you think you don’t deserve any free time until you’ve taken your exams. Your brain won’t punish you by deleting all the knowledge you spent hours studying just because you take some hours off.’

Sansa looked away at the ground. That comment stung more than she cared to admit.

She’d always envied Margaery who revised and then was able to chatter with some friends before walking into her exam room. Sansa was the type who barely managed to mutter a ‘hi’ to someone she knew before an exam. She had her eyes glued to her notes even as she walked to the bus stop, walked in the university building, and waited outside in the hall. She even clutched it tightly as she walked in, read her notes as she took out her pencase, water bottle and handkerchiefs… She only let go the moment an assistant coughed and told her she needed to zip her bag and take place at a table. She was afraid if she stopped studying and rehearsing, at any point until she was right in front of her exam, her brain would delete everything in her head and her mind would go blank. She’d even felt it happening. She sat down and suddenly she went “Oh, what was that name again?” and the more she thought of it, the more she became aware of names and terms blurring in her head.

‘I know’, Sansa smiled. ‘I’m fine really. It just… You know. Perhaps it was a bit too much of your study technique and the switch was too sudden. Can’t deprogram five years of studying’, Sansa laughed.

‘My darling fretting bird’, Margaery smiled, walking over and place a kiss on Sansa’s hair.

‘You know what’s best for you. Good luck studying. I just wanted to make sure you were fine.’

‘I do, thanks’, Sansa smiled.

She was dragged out of her room a final time for dinner, and managed to sit through a boardgame without stressing, leaning against Willas and laughing along with everyone. She yawned a good way through it but was perfectly happy the entire evening.

‘Perhaps we should retire early?’ Willas suggested with an amused smile when she smiled for the third time in ten minutes.

‘No, it’s fine. You can stay downstairs. I planned on doing some more work anyways’, she decided, giving him a sweet smile.

‘If you insist’, Willas agreed. ‘Bed by midnight?’

‘Sounds good’, she agreed, giving him a final kiss before heading upstairs. This she could do. She’d earned her time off. And was being productive. _And_ she would get time with Willas.

As promised, Willas knocked on her door at half past eleven.

‘Ready?’

‘I’ll finish this page and then I am’, she promised.

‘Good, I’ll get ready in the meantime then’, he smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead before entering the bathroom.

Sansa let out a sigh of relief. She was glad he understood and didn’t force her to relax. She’d only grow more tense and stressed without being able to enjoy to time off.

Sansa’s phone went off at ten. Determined to make good progress today so she could grant Willas and herself the night off she ended their kisses and cuddles within the fifteen minutes after waking, promising they’d be able to enjoy themselves that night.

She quickly leafed through her notes of the previous day and was satisfied that they were all still in her head. But going back further showed her that she would definitely need some thorough revising before the exam in two weeks. Some concepts were only distant memory. And so, with the added rush of fear that she was already forgetting some parts of this course, she pushed through. Taking notes, repeating out loud, noting down and marching up and down her room as she explained the systems and theories to herself.

‘Sansa, lunch?’ Willas asked some time later, putting his arms around her hips. She had been so caught up in muttering the contents of her course to her window she hadn’t even heard him approach.

‘Oh, yes. Uhm. What time is it?’

‘One already, and I noticed you hadn’t come down yet.’

How he noticed that from being either in his room or in the living room with a limited sight of the hallway, she didn’t know. But she agreed to go down with him.

‘Is everything going alright?’

‘Yeah, fine. I’m well on track. Running ahead even, but I don’t want to jinx it by being overly confident’, she smiled.

‘I understand’, he agreed.

‘I’m sorry I’m being a lousy girlfriend.’

‘Some days work comes first. I’ll neglect you for work plenty of times in the future probably.’

‘Not too much I hope’, Sansa teased.

‘I hope so to. Anyways, always feel free to call me out on it if I forget you.’

She would have been slaughtered by Joff if she’d dared ask for attention. Willas was such a gem.

‘Thanks, I’ll keep you to that.’

‘I sure hope so’, he smiled.

They made some easy toasted bread with hummus, avocado’s and eggs and soon after Sansa jumped up.

‘Already?’

‘Yeah, I was really on a roll. I just want to be able to finish on time. So we’ll be able to have tonight fully to ourselves.’

‘Alright. Good luck.’

‘Thanks.’

She skipped upstairs, scrolling through Instagram when she got a notification on her phone. An email. From her professors. He called on all students to not forget the three articles he’d sent them at the beginning of the semester by mail. He’d forgotten to put them in the to-study list and had failed to upload them on the school platform as well.

Sansa froze. She didn’t even remember he’d done that. But then she’d had seven courses all with a lot of assignments and required reading. It had been a chaotic start of the semester. She kicked the door of her bedroom close behind her and looked for the articles.

 _Fuck_. Each were over a hundred pages.

Whoever the fuck called that articles?

Perhaps they contained information and theories that were already mostly discussed in the classes. She quickly scrolled through the first one, reading some sentences every few pages. No, she hadn’t seen that content anywhere else. Didn’t ring a bell. Neither did the second.

Her breathing increased as she clicked open the second, dread pooling in her stomach. She barely dared to read it. It was the same.

Over three hundred pages. She wasn’t ahead. She was _behind_.

‘No fuck’, Sansa cried, crumpling down in front of her computer.

Articles first. Articles were easier to summarize.

She buried her head in her heads, groaning before gathering her courage. No choice but to do it.

She took out her pen, clicked the first article open, and started. Her heart speedily thumping away within her chest.

Her eyes zoomed in on the article, the sides of her vision blurring. Why did they had to use such stiff Common Tongue? Were they deliberately looking for the vaguest most rare synonyms? This would take ages.

Her stomach turned, the eggs sizzling away in the acid of her stomach. She was going to be sick.

‘Sansa?’

‘No! Not now!’ she cried, blinking as she looked at the door.

It was dark?

She looked outside the window, noticing the sun had set. She looked at the wall behind her screen, the colour now a deep blue. When had it turned dark? She’d been writing without issue not a moment ago.

‘It’s dinner time’, Willas said, leaning against the doorframe with a frown.

‘How can you work in such darkness?’ he asked, turning on the switch.

Sansa scrunched her eyes shut at the brightness.

‘It got dark so quickly, I didn’t even notice.’

‘How’s it going?’

‘Good, fine. I uhm, am almost done with three articles I forgot about’, she smiled.

But her smile soon turned into a grimace, a vein throbbed at her right temple when she smiled.

‘Alright.’

‘But that does mean I’m running behind. I haven’t been able to do a thing about my regular work since I left you this midday.’

‘So tonight?’

His regret filled her with shame and regret as well. It lay heavy on her empty stomach.

‘I’m sorry. I’ll have to work for a bit yet.’

‘But are you coming down for dinner?’

‘Of course! I only need to finish the last article up. It will only be five minutes.’

It was still ten pages, but she ignored that.

‘I can wait?’

‘Oh no, go, go ahead. You needn’t eat cold food on my accord. It’s my fault I’m running behind.’

It wasn’t, but she felt like it was. She should have been faster.

‘Alright’, Willas nodded, coming over for a kiss and a hug before he left her.

Sansa sighed, pushing back her hair.

She would just have to push herself a bit more. She’d been slow all afternoon.

By the time she went downstairs, dinner was most definitely cold. She brushed off everyone’s questions and concerns, smiling and making jokes before she excused herself again. She could be fast. She could revise it more thoroughly in the days leading up to the exam. She’d be fine. It would be fine. She only needed to write it down. She could study it later.

‘No! No! Please, I swear I’m almost done!’ Sansa cried when her door opened again. It was ten at night, and both Margaery and Willas were looking at her.

‘Dearest’, Margaery sighed, her eyes filled with worry. She’d seen Sansa like this before enough times to realise what was going on.

‘Just ten more pages. I’ll do the rest tomorrow, I swear’, Sansa promised, guilt already eating at her for the pages she’d just promised she wouldn’t do.

Behind, behind, behind. You slow worthless –

‘San, you haven’t even stopped for more than an hour since you started.

‘I thought you permitted –‘

‘I permit you to study on your own terms, but you need to take breaks.’

‘I’m fine; I know what I’m doing. I’m… I’m not on schedule but I’m going to be. Really the longer you talk to me the longer it’ll take me to finish this and be with you two.’

‘Sansa, you’ve been alright this whole holiday. Why suddenly in such a study frenzy?’

_My mother feared for my results and encouraged me to study._

_Studying every day is the only way I usually succeed and the anxiety of neglecting my studies has been building but if I say that you’ll start worrying for me again._

‘No reason, I just felt like studying. Sometimes you just get into the mood, you know?’

‘Yes, I do know study moods, I sometimes have them, but I have the focus of a raccoon and it never lasts for over three hours.’

‘Well, with me it does.’

Margaery closed the screen of Sansa’s laptop.

‘Marge!’

‘Margaery I don’t think’, Willas started.

‘Tut tut, I’ve known her for longer than you. Sometimes I know what’s best for her.’

She could hear her heart beating in her ears. Her control over the situation was slipping.

‘No, please. Ten pages.’

She put her hands down on everything she needed, the words blurring for her eyes.

‘This is Sansa panic studying out of guilt’, Margaery explained to Willas.

‘She punishes herself all the time. Ever noticed how she never goes for a fresh cup of tea unless she’s finished a chapter on time or needs to go to the toilet?’

Willas paused _._

_Oh no._

Now he saw what the others had seen. A horrible controlling mess.

She was going to puke.

‘I’m fine’, Sansa hissed. Then mortification flooded her as she realized that the attacking tone of her voice did nothing to dispel Margaery’s notion. Her windpipe closed, chills running down her arms.

‘Please, just let me do this. It’s not unreasonable. I can do that. You know I can. I ran behind because the prof just mailed us we had to study an additional three hundred pages. I’m doing well regarding that sudden twist. You can’t blame me for wanting to study what I have to study, do you?’ Sansa questioned.

‘When else do I have to do those pages? If I spread them more evenly I’ll only be busier every day after this’, she reasoned.

Willas looked doubtful, but Margaery wasn’t having it.

‘You’ll manage. Besides, no professor actually expects you to know articles well. The most you ever have to do is reference the article in some three sentences right underneath a page and a half long answer to a real theory-related question’, Margaery pointed out.

‘You don’t know that. It might be different this time around.’

‘You think you’ll be able to retain it if you’re pushing this much into your head?’

‘You have your technique, I have mine. I never guilt trip you when you decide to not read entire course syllabi and readers’, Sansa pointed out.

‘Take a break.’

‘Soon.’

Margaery rolled her eyes, taking her brother by the arm.

‘Alright, do your pages.’

Sansa’s headache was growing.

‘Finally, thanks. I just lost ten minutes.’

She turned back towards her book, her heart beating like mad.

She pushed through, saying out loud all the words she read.

Now Margaery had gotten her worked up and she had to get her focus back. Double work. Sometimes her friend was a menace. She read and wrote and read and –

Cried.

She wiped away the tears. Just some more. She couldn’t give up now.

‘Sansa, an hour and a half have passed’, Willas muttered from the door.

A sob wracked its way through her before her throat constricted again.

‘I’m sorry. I tried. I tried. I’m just so damn slow.’

‘Haven’t you finished the pages?’ he asked, approaching her.

‘Seventeen’, she admitted.

‘Then you have nothing to apologize about’, he calmed her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

‘No, for the whole day. I promised you the night. I was going to give us the night. And now it’s almost midnight and we’ve lost the entire evening and it’s my fault and I ruined it for both of us’, she whined, pushing his hands back.

‘It’s fine.’

‘It’s not. You – you’ve been so understanding and sweet and I repay you with nothing, nada, niente. We don’t have any time left for anything, only sleeping. I’m sorry. I’m awful. And you said I could call you out if you ignored me but I’m worse and you told me and I just told you and Margaery to fuck off’, she sobbed.

In the meantime her brain kept nagging her.

_So many pages. You’re not bone tired yet, you could be studying some more instead of crying like a sad bitch._

‘I said it was fine for me and I am allowed to have the final word on what is fine for me’, Willas said, voice low and strong.

She wiped the tears from her face but they kept coming.

‘You’re exhausted.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Then why are you crying for something as simple as not making a self-imposed deadline?’ he shot back.

‘Because I disappointed you and I disappointed me. And I’m not usually such a mess. I’m a hard worker. I make my deadlines, I succeed’, she hiccupped.

‘If you’re so disappointed in not giving us time then put off your desk light and your laptop and come to bed with me’, he suggested.

She couldn’t argue with that logic. So she nodded and accepted his outstretched hands and let him drag her to his bedroom.

He laid her down onto the blankets and pressed her body against his.

Sansa took a shaky breath, putting her hands on his chest.

This was fine. Willas was fine. He had forgiven her.

_He just said that to keep you from becoming more upset._

She swallowed, her heart still beating loudly in her ears, muting the sounds of the real world.

She could feel his heart beating underneath her fingertips.

She pressed her head against his chest.

No, not enough air if she held her face there. She was suffocating.

She leant back and closed her eyes.

 _Just focus on the feeling of his hands stroking your head_ , she told herself.

Pages danced in front of her closed eyes. Four pages undone of that chapter. She could have made it if she’d only been faster.

‘Shh’, Willas said.

Sansa realized she was sobbing.

She stifled her next hiccup.

‘I – ‘

‘I know’, he said, stroking her hair.

‘Think I haven’t tried pushing myself beyond my limits, trying to achieve as much as I could within a day and still turning out disappointed?’

She could have guessed. He’d admitted to being a perfectionist and being frustrated whenever he couldn’t do everything he wanted at once. But it didn’t help. She could have done it. She could have reached it. Or at least the voice in her head believed she had to die trying.

He withdrew, pulling off his knitted sweater and t-shirt in one smooth move before he reinstalled himself.

Her eyes drank in his skin.

He took her trembling hands and put them back on his chest.

‘Just relax. You’ve worked long and hard today. Almost twelve hours straight. You wouldn’t tell someone who worked for twelve hours that they didn’t do their best, would you?’ he asked.

Sansa reasoned that meant that they’d done nothing half of the day, but an office day was seven to eight hour and twelve was well past that timespan.

She shook her head. She was too tired to talk.

‘So enjoy some sleep. You need it.’

Highlighted words and underlined sentences still danced before her eyes every time she closed her eyes. So she kept them open and focussed on her hands on his chest.

He had a nice chest, she decided again.

She crooked her fingers, sliding her nails across the expanse of his chest.

The nagging voice breathed in her ears, but she could also hear the scratching of Willas’ fingers against her scalp, and his deep and even breathing, so unlike her own erratic one.

And then her mind wandered, away from her books. She wondered if this is what they would have done had they gotten together back when she was still ugly and healing from Joffrey. Or when he was just recovering.

She wondered how many evenings she had spent spiralling out of control, hyperventilating, crying and then dragging herself back to her books until she was so tired the words blurred and the sun rose would have been prevented if she’d been around people who nipped her unhealthy behaviour in the bud.

Words still escaped her, but she wanted to be held. She pressed herself closer to Willas, tilting her face away so she could still properly breath. His hands drifted, gliding down her back and underneath her shirt.

She gasped for breath, interrupting her panicked breathing. His hands heated her chilly skin.

She needed his heat. The chills becoming insufferable. But her body was paralyzed and tired. Every movement requiring minutes of thought and mental preparation except for the bare minimum. She arched her back, encouraging his hands.

‘Yes?’

She nodded. His hands moved up, warming the skin of her higher back, sliding underneath her bra. The juxtaposition of his warm hands on her cool skin made her shiver again. His hands slid down again, and with notable effort she brought one of her own hands to his and kept it on the edge of her shirt, hinting at her intentions.

He understood though, and craftily took it off. She sighed in relief as the skin of their chests connected. His hands kept rubbing circles on her back.

She became aware of the soft duvet pressing into her side, his heart beating underneath his hands, his chest rising up and down as he inhaled, and the sound of his exhaling.

And just like that, she had stopped crying and hyperventilating. She didn’t know how long it had been, but the only remainders of it were the dry feeling of her face when she blinked and a lingering feeling of breathlessness and tiredness deep in her bones.

Heavens, how long _had_ it been?

She must look so odd.

She had to talk.

She took a deep breath, it was hard, but not unbearable. She could do this.

‘Willas?’

‘Mhm?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s nothing.’

‘It is though. Perhaps I should give you the same power as you gave me.’

‘Being?’

‘When I’m being silly and going against my own interests by not resting or giving you enough attention, drag me away from work.’

‘We tried that tonight’, he teased. ‘You became very upset.’

She took a deep breath, pressing her lips against his chest.

‘Mean to ask you to keep trying?’

‘Like today?’

‘Mhm.’

‘I’ll try. But you’ve got to try too.’

‘It’s hard.’

‘Isn’t it always?’

She supposed that was a fair question. If it were easy, it could be done instead of tried.

‘Mhm.’

‘Shall we get ready?’

‘Mhm.’

‘Alright, come on’, he decided, dragging her upright. ‘To the bathroom.’

Her feet had turned to lead, and her limbs to stone as she moved to the bathroom. But with surprising ease he found her beauty products and with touching gentleness he sat her down on the bath and wiped away her make-up, then washed her face with water and rubbed a cotton-pad with toner on her face.

‘You’ve done this before.’

‘More times than I’d care to count’, he admitted with a smile.

‘Drunk lady friends?’ she guessed.

‘And Margaery.’

She cracked a smile, her face groaning with exhaustion. But at least her skin didn’t feel tense and itchy from the tears anymore.

He left her the washing cloth and she slowly got ready, taking her time to brush her teeth and drink some water minutes after Willas had already returned to his bedroom.

She was lucky. Tired but lucky. Who knew how long she would have kept on pushing herself. Would she have even managed to make it into Willas’ bed that night? She would have denied herself even sleep with him. While she already only had a couple of days left with him. And then would have woken up bone tired and with no energy to study the next day. Which would have been a disaster with how close her exams were getting.

Perhaps Margaery had been right, perhaps she had been studying more efficiently because she hadn’t pushed herself to the point of exhaustion every day, starting with a head that was still fuzzy from the day before.

She trudged out of the bathroom, not even bothering to pick up a nightgown from her own bedroom. She dropped her bra beside the bed and scooted in on her side of the bed, rolling over until her back connected with Willas’ chest.

He slung an arm over her, his lips pressing against her neck.

And just like that, she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of this fic. But of course I couldn't end it without exploring some of Sansa's weaknesses and bad sides.  
> I'm sorry for the heavy interlude, I'll end as airy as I can, taking into account sansa will have to leave highgarden and start her exams.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smoll one

Sansa woke up warm, protected… and with the annoying ghost of a headache. She retreated further into the warmth of the body beside her, trying to ignore the way her face felt stretchy and dry.

But her technique failed as her brain started up. She had cried the day before. Not only cried but… oh gods above. While her behaviour had seemed so logical the night before she could now feel nothing but ever deepening shame at how unhinged and strange she must have looked.

What must Willas think of her, crying over her courses like a petulant child? Her embarrassment deepened. How could he be holding her right now? He had his own business and was approaching thirty and she was still crying over a stupid exam.

 _But your exams decide your future, it is normal to want to do well,_ her brain tried to comfort her. However Sansa was determined to be angry with herself. Willas should have just ignored her, it wouldn’t have been half as mortifying if he hadn’t been so damned gentle and kind. Now she felt all the more like an irrational monster. She had half a mind to punish herself and sneak out of bed, but just considering that made her limbs weigh a thousand pounds each.

‘Awake?’ a groggy voice questioned.

‘Mhm.’

Willas drew back so he could look at her face.

Why had she even considered sneaking out of bed? She barely had any days left with him so why would she voluntarily give up whatever time she had left?

‘I’m sorry for yesterday’, she admitted softly.

‘You’re better now?’

She nodded.

‘Back to being an adult’, she laughed. It did not sound very convincing.

‘You think adults don’t panic or get upset?’ Willas teased.

That lured a smile from her.

For all intents and purposes, she was exhausted and not ready to argue. She rested her head against his chest again, and only belatedly realized how much of their skin was touching. Had she truly gone to bed without a nightgown? That was a first. She must have really been bone dead tired. 

When she opened her eyes next she vaguely realized time must have passed, the lighting had changed and she felt different. Her body hummed in a way it only did right after sleeping.

‘What time is it?’

‘Ten thirty’, Willas replied, stroking her hair with one hand and holding up a book with the other.

Ten thirty? That was quite late. And it didn’t exactly give her the answer she wanted to know.

‘How lo –‘

‘About an hour and a half’, he replied before she finished.

Damn. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had fallen asleep after waking again.

‘You were a very good pillow.’

‘Why thank you’, Willas smiled. ‘Didn’t hear that one before.’

‘I pride myself on being original.’

This she could do. She was relieved this conversation ignored the previous night.

‘You are’, Willas agreed.

His stomach growled.

‘Have I been keeping you from getting up?’

‘I could have woken you up or pushed you away gently if I had really wanted to go’, Willas declared. ‘But I wouldn’t mind getting breakfast now.’

‘Mhm. I agree. It’s time I get ready and start again’, she said as she rose, clutching the blanket to her chest.

The yawn that followed the statement didn’t help her convince him.

‘You sure you wouldn’t rather take the morning off with Margaery? Go for a swim or the sauna?’

It did sound deliciously tempting. And her body felt incredibly tired from the strain she’d put on it the past few days.

‘I’ll see’, she decided.

After all, now that she looked at it more soberly, had she not set herself further back by her breakdown which had only happened because she pushed herself too far?

She pressed a kiss against his lips.

‘See you at breakfast?’

‘See you there.’

And so she slipped out of Willas’ bedroom, stealing his duvet and taking it with her as a medieval cape.

‘Hey!’

She stuck out her tongue, but in a dignified regal manner.

It was predictable that Margaery was still down for breakfast by the time she arrived in the kitchen. As ever, knowing Sansa’s insecurities, Margaery just smiled at her and continued eating. The silence was pleasant as Sansa gathered her breakfast and was given a big cup of tea by Willas.

‘So, taking a break together today or nah?’ Margaery asked after giving Sansa some ten minutes to start talking on her own.

‘Sure’, Sansa said before she could crawl back.

‘Hell yeah, girltime’, Margaery grinned before taking a sip from her coffee.

Thirty minutes later she was submerged in warm water, finally finding a way to breath easily again. Somewhere in the blue depths of the pool, Margaery was mermaid style sliding over the bottom. Her mind felt empty and at peace.

How classically Sansa had it been of her to blow her mother’s advice out of proportion like that and abuse it to drive herself to an even deeper state of anxiety. Her mother, knowing Sansa’s anxiety, advised her to maybe do one chapter so she would feel more comfortable on New Year’s Day, and Sansa had taken the advise and run with it so hard she had fried her brain. Oh well, of course she’d had to have one final breakdown before she was done with university. One couldn’t expect her to have learned to get a handle on herself by now, could they? Technically, if she’d been reasonable, she’d realized she was running ahead, even with the article. She’d done everything she had to do yesterday already the day before. So she could really have the morning off now.

Margaery broke through the surface.

‘Oh this is divine, why don’t we have a pool in our apartment? I wouldn’t definitely work out every day if I could use a pool’, Margaery groaned.

‘You didn’t even manage to make it down one flight of stairs to take a swim every day the past two weeks’, Sansa laughed.

‘But it’s the holidays and I’m studying. You can’t expect perfection San. Besides I moved plenty. On days I didn’t I went horse riding or ice skating or ran around throwing snowballs.’

‘Alright, we’ve moved a lot more than usual, I agree’, Sansa laughed.

‘Exactly. If we keep up the energy we’ll end up as lockdown goddesses instead of swamp creatures’, Margaery grinned.

‘Like anyone would ever dare to classify us as such’, Sansa pointed out.

‘Even if it were true…’

‘I’d kill them before they finished that sentence, I know’, Margaery grinned before falling back in.

‘Ugh, I want to stay here forever. It’s too bad it’s cloudy today. I’d kill for some sunshine on my face’, Margaery complained as she did backward strokes.

Sansa swam beside her.

‘We should come back for Easter. And summer. Or well, I get it if your priority is spending the next holiday with your family but the invitation still stands. Especially now that you have even more reason to come here.’

Sansa had the dignity to roll her eyes.

‘I think grandmother and mommy are all too pleased someone finally convinced you to join the family.’

‘And I’m pleased to have them. A vast improvement upon the Lannisters.’

‘It wasn’t even a competition’, Margaery grinned.

Sansa had to smile at that.

‘You know what would be a competition?’ Margaery asked as she reached the other end of the pool.

‘No.’

‘Me and you to the other end of the pool.’

‘What bu-‘

Margaery had already pushed herself away from the edge.

‘Cheater!’

Sansa desperately tried to catch up, kicking her legs and submerging herself entirely for less resistance. Damn Tyrells, always winning at all costs.

Margaery won, she probably wouldn’t have if Sansa hadn’t been so tired, but Sansa didn’t mind. Her heart was pumping and her limbs were tingling in the best way possible by the time she reached the end.

‘You dirty cheat!’

‘You mean: dirty winner!’

‘Oh you!’

‘Ey!’

A second later Margaery was tackled underwater.

‘Unfair, I wasn’t prepared’, Margaery spluttered once Sansa let her come above water again.

‘Neither was I.’

‘You’re finally learning, dear’, Margaery grinned, hands coming up.

‘Oh no’, Sansa stammered.

‘Oh yes’, Margaery laughed deviously. Sansa ran, stumbled and swam away as fast as possible. But a game of leg-pulling and dunking followed until both were so entirely out of breath, with chlore water burning their mouths, that they had to throw in the towel.

They climbed out, lungs burning as they gulped down their bottles of water.

‘Sauna?’ Margaery panted.

‘Please.’

Half an hour later Willas knocked on her bedroom door.

‘Yes?’

‘I was just wonder- you look like a drowned cat.’

‘A pretty drowned cat?’

‘Uhm. Yes?’

Sansa reached out her arms. She’d done her best towel-drying her hair but she knew she still looked haggard.

Willas came up and accepted her hug.

‘You wanted to ask?’

‘Whether you wanted to take your time studying tonight?’

‘No, please, remove me from office.’

‘Alright in that case, I have three movie suggestions.’

‘Great.’


	24. Chapter 24

It was the fourth of January, the holidays were officially over.

It felt abrupt when Sansa was eating breakfast and heard wheels of suitcases rolling through the hall. She’d arrived in a very warm family home already in high spirits, and after just a day and a half of focussing on her studies and a day chilling downstairs with Margaery and studying in the afternoon she had woken up to a wholly different household.

She felt like she had missed a month instead of two days, so different was the atmosphere.

There was no Alerie in the kitchen, no Mace reading the papers in the living room, No Loras and Renly huddled together on the sofa.

Instead as Sansa descended downstairs she could hear Mace arguing from beyond the closed doors of his office, and spotted Alerie poring over ledgers through the door of her opened study. The Christmas mug she was using a small reminder of the relaxation of the past two weeks.

‘Well, we’re going’, Loras announced, appearing in the kitchen.

Margaery, Leonette and Sansa looked up.

‘Already?’

‘I have to work tomorrow. I rather take a day to travel, unpack and relax’, Loras explained.

‘I’ve got some days more but yeah’, Renly shrugged. ‘Actually, a lot more days. Since all our businesses are still closed until further notice. I’m not expecting much change before spring.’

‘Spring seems so far away’, Sansa said.

‘Yeah, Robert’s getting really tired of it. We’ve been closed for seven months of the past year. It’s really bad’, Renly admitted. ‘There’s a lot of paperwork though, financial stuff, staff that is out of work. It’s getting hard to keep everyone on to be honest. We don’t want to fire people but seven months with barely anything coming in, running costs of electricity and the buildings… We’re hoping the government will grant some more checks and stuff. So… A lot of paperwork’, he sighed, rubbing his face.

‘Man, so not looking forward to it.’

Sansa felt for Renly, it was a really bad time for business.

‘Come on, where’s your festive cheer?’ Loras teased. ‘You’re groaning like any sour old man of thirty.’

‘Mind your manners, you youthling’, Renly chastised, slapping his fiancé on the ass.

‘Perhaps we should have kissed under the mistletoe too, then perhaps I would have had some luck to look out for this year.’

‘So superstitious.’

‘I’m in the professional gambling business, everyone’s superstitious around there’, Renly smirked before turning towards the girls again.

‘So alas ladies, we take our leave. I hope I’ll see you some holiday soon.’

Well wishes were voiced by the three women.

‘Have you already said goodbye to Garlan?’ Leonette asked.

‘Yeah, passed him in the hallway upstairs’, Loras said. ‘Mom, dad and gran will be done on the way out.’

‘The only person we couldn’t trace was Willas, actually’, Renly said. ‘Sansa, any clue?’

‘In the living room. You’ll find Olenna there too.’

‘Ah, the two bookworms. Shouldn’t have been surprised’, Renly grinned. ‘But it could have always been that you wore him out too much last night. What with your youth and his old bones.’

Sansa blushed.

‘Really? How odd, in my experience it’s the other way around’, Loras drawled. ‘Wasn’t there some science pointing out that men are in their prime around their thirties?’

‘Stop mentioning thirty’, Renly complained. ‘I sound so old.’

‘Just wait until you hear another number in four months’, Loras said.

‘Why do I marry you?’ Renly rolled his eyes.

‘Any way, farewell, fair ladies’, Renly greeted before walking away.

Loras gave them a wink before following his fiancé.

‘Oh lord, it’s beginning’, Leonette sighed.

‘I can’t believe it’s over. Twenty-twenty lasted a decade and the holidays went over in a blink. Let’s hope by December we can look back on this year with actual joy, having made some nice memories.’

She took a sip of coffee.

‘Garlan and I only need to start next week but we’ll probably leave on Friday. I’m guessing you guys are leaving sooner?’

‘We have exams next week’, Margaery explained.

Sansa swallowed her tea. So many memories had been made. So much would change this year. It was actually all quite frightening. By next Christmas she would be working, no longer a student, and perhaps if the gods were kind celebrating her first year together with Willas. She was half terrified and half excited. There were so many uncertainties. She wished she could just pause the clock. But she couldn’t. She would just have to make the most of each day and treasure it as it was.

‘So you need to be back by Sunday?’

Margaery nodded.

‘But Garlan brought us last time so if you say you want to leave on Friday…’

‘Ah’, Leonette said, understanding the question. ‘It’s Monday now so…’

They had to leave on Thursday latest. Meaning Sansa had three nights with Willas left, or less.

‘I’ll ask Garlan if he has anything to do like zoom calls or anything this week’, Leonette decided. She picked up her coffee and left.

‘Three days’, Margaery sighed.

‘It’s always so quick, winters. The whole year lasts forever but winters just fly by. You wake up and two hours later it’s dark again. One moment you come home for Christmas and four days later it’s time to leave already. And when you go to the shop after New Year there’s already collections of dragon’s eggs in the store for Easter.’

‘Mhm. And it’s faster each year’, Sansa said.

‘We’re getting old. And the worst is we can’t even celebrate being young. What I’d give to be allowed one final preparty at our place before terrorizing the street filled with nightclubs, watching the sun rise as we try to avoid shards of broken glass’, Margaery sighed.

‘Waking up to nine wine bottles, twenty glasses, foul smelling beer cans, shot glasses with salt and bitten lime wedges on the counter and some boxes of pizza on the floor around the couch’, Sansa continued.

‘Pushing them all open at one thirty the next day to find a final two slices for breakfast’, Margaery sighed, voice full of nostalgia.

‘We went in as students and will come out as miserable working people’, Margaery shivered.

‘Yeah, I’m not too happy about it either. I feel like I’ve been robbed of countless memories I had yet to make and moments I ought to have enjoyed.’

‘If we have to graduate on zoom, I’ll riot’, Margaery said. ‘I planned my graduation outfit years ago.’

‘Mood.’

‘My lipstick collection is going to dust in the drawer with those facemasks.’

‘It’s better they go to dust’, Sansa reasoned. ‘You looked like a murder clown when you put on red lipstick, then put on your face mask and went to the store and came back with lipstick all over your face.’

‘Don’t remind me’, Margaery sighed.

They sniggered to themselves as they finished their bowls and drinks.

‘So when do you want to leave.’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Want to stay as long as possible for Willas?’

Sansa shrugged.

‘Kinda. But I’m realistic. Whenever suits everyone is fine for me.’

Leonette came back in.

‘Garlan has a meeting at one on Thursday. So it’ll have to be on Wednesday. It’s a long drive so you’ll probably have to leave at ten.’

Sansa swallowed, Margaery shooting her a worried glance while Leonette went to refill her coffee.

She only had today and tomorrow left, and two nights.

And after that? Only the gods knew. Both her and Willas wanted to continue things, and it wasn’t as hopeless as it had seemed at the start, with him also having a flat in King’s Landing. 

‘Is that alright?’ Margaery asked.

‘Sure’, Sansa said. ‘Then I have four days left to do laundry and study before my exams. Even if I spend the entirety of Wednesday travelling. It’s good.’

‘Alright. Well, I’m going to get started, finish this bitch up today so I can start a new course’, Margaery said.

Sansa walked with Margaery towards the stairs but went into the living room instead. She had no idea how she wanted to use her final few days. Part of her wanted to spend them start to finish with Willas, but the realistic part of her knew how dumb that was.

She paused at the entry to the living space, observing Willas who sat in his regular armchair, basking in the cold morning sunlight. His curls stuck at odd angles from raking his hand through them whilst reading, his sleeves rolled up because the sun was turning the room warm. Her heart pulsed at the sight of him.

He looked like a king, seated in his high backed chair, one arm leaning on the armrest. For a second modernity faded, and she could imagine him with a fuller beard and Mad King era clothes, ruling over Highgarden like the lords of old. But she quickly brushed the notion away, a girl from the north like her would have never ended up in Highgarden, and the Westeros of old was absolutely ruthless for disabled people. Besides, she much rather had him as her Willas, the charming wine empire man than an eternally busy and exhausted lord paramount.

He looked up, spotting her and offered her a charming smile that made her heart flutter.

‘Hi.’

‘Hello.’

She kneeled on the carpet at his feet, propping her arms up on his legs.

‘I just had a talk with Leo and Margaery. Apparently Garlan wants to drive us home on Wednesday.’

Willas nodded, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

‘I’d offer to drive you myself to prolong it but…’

His car wasn’t made with a large trunk, and her suitcase was definitely big, and that was not counting all her bags.

‘I understand’, she smiled.

He closed his book and put it away. Not caring an awful lot about the public room or Olenna a couple of feet removed, she sat down on his lap.

‘I’ll miss you’, she confessed into the fabric of his sweater.

He wrapped his arms around her.

‘It’s not that long, right?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘When are you done? Or do you want to see me in between?’

Sansa considered for a moment, letting her head lean against his chest.

‘I have six days between my two last ones. I could take one day off.’

‘Being? I’m a busy man’, Willas teased.

‘I could take a break the eighteenth or nineteenth’, Sansa said. ‘And then I’m free from the second half of the twenty-fourth.’

‘I have something the eighteenth but I could do the nineteenth’, Willas decided. He took her chin between his thumb and index finger and smiled. ‘If that pleases my lady.’

‘It does’, she admitted shyly.

‘That’s less than sixteen days from now on. And only thirteen days from Wednesday. We can go a meagre two weeks without each other.’

She’d been dreaming of him for over five years, sometimes going entire years without seeing him. Yet two weeks seemed an eternity now.

‘They’ll fly by with how busy I am’, Sansa smiled.

‘Exactly. You won’t even notice I’m gone. You’ll just be sitting in front of your books and then you blink and I’m there.’

She buried her face into his sweater again. The evil voice told her she was needy and too clingy, appearing immature. It said it was too soon to act so attached, but Willas just stroked her hair until the cruel thoughts had dissipated.

She closed her eyes, breathing in, and felt herself growing calm. Being with him was just one of the easiest things ever. She sniffed again. He was sharing their shared perfume. She had to smile. Margaery’s meddling had perhaps not been the worst thing on earth. One day she would thank her, but not too soon. She would forever remind everyone of her great accomplishment.

‘And you’ll be reading your books.’

‘You mean checking up on the delivery of orders at my storage and shipments to all stores and people that have ordered between New Year’s and the day I’m working? And working out an Easter wine box? Because yes, I will be doing that’, Willas smiled sourly. ‘My leisure time isn’t usually spent reading actually.’

‘What?’ Sansa asked with overexaggerated shock.

‘It’s spent either working out or catching up with friends, and cooking. It’s pretty boring.’

‘Are you implying reading isn’t boring?’ Sansa smiled.

‘Are you saying it is?’

‘No, but saying it is less boring compared to working out or catching up with friends and cooking? I don’t know.’

‘I’ve cooked, sported and met people a lot more than I read books, it’s a newer hobby’, Willas explained.

That kind of made sense, but only in the vaguest way.

‘I’ll leave you to it for the precious few days you’ve got left then’, Sansa decided.

‘Up to study again?’

‘Afraid so’, she sighed.

‘Take it easy, will you?’

‘Check in with me on teatime if you’re uncertain’, she smiled before giving him a kiss.

‘Or lunch, because that’s first?’

‘Or both?’

Two hours later they lunched together, and then, around three, right when she finished a chapter and allowed herself a brief break, she sent him a text. Or rather, a screenshot of an article. She didn’t get a response by the time she started again, but checked her phone every fifteen minutes until finally, he’d read it, fifteen minutes before teatime.

“Is this a hint?” he asked to the screenshot.

Sansa was ticking all kinds of emoji’s before she realized Willas was a self-respecting older twenty-something so she replied with a: “Maybe?” followed by a couple of smiling angels.

He arrived at her room with two teacups at exactly four in the afternoon.

‘So, science says you’re more wound up than usual huh?’ he slyly asked.

‘I mean, I get their explanation’, she innocently explained.

‘And you get their solution as well?’ he asked, putting down the mugs.

‘Well, I’m not really in a position to argue with science, am I?’ Sansa asked.

Willas closed the door. Her heart jumped when the lock clicked into place.

‘Guess you’re not.’

‘It’s the middle of the day though. I saw it more as a solution at night’, Sansa said when Willas moved to close the curtains.

‘The article says that it is important to relax between study sessions. And that endorphin spikes help stimulate the brain. You brain doesn’t need much stimulation at night. You’re studying during the day. To reap the maximum benefits, it would be helpful now’, Willas explained as he sat down on the edge of her desk.

She looked up at him, eyes travelling over her jeans and tight shirt. The sight was very tempting.

‘I guess’, Sansa smiled.

She stole her cup, taking a sip.

‘My lady?’ Willas asked, standing upright and giving her a hand. She gladly accepted. If she only had two nights left, she should be making the most of all hours of the day.

He pulled her along.

‘Wait, the tea! It’ll get cold.’

‘Leave it.’

‘But you just took all that effort.’

‘Good gods, woman. You’re really from the North, aren’t you?’ Willas laughed.

Sansa grabbed her tea with her free hand, drinking another sip of the black lemon tea.

‘Gotta stay warm.’

‘No need to worry about that’, he assured her, taking the tea from her hands and putting it on her nightstand.

‘Oh?’ she teased.

Willas lifted her sweater.

‘Trust me. You’ll be begging me to open a window within fifteen minutes.’

She laughed, meeting him for a kiss.

‘Will we last that long?’

He pressed a kiss to her cheek, then her neck.

‘Hadn’t planned to. Now we will.’

Once disrobed he pushed her onto the bed, letting his hands roam over her body while he trailed a line of kisses down to her bosom.

Twenty minutes later, the window opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like any good uni, mine has a confessions page on facebook. And damn, so many people confess to being horny particularly during the stressy exam season, so here you go.  
> After this it's just a final chapter/ an epilogue :)  
> Remember when I said I didn't want to be writing a christmas fic after the first half of february? Yeah lol that went bust.


	25. Chapter 25

_Sansa remembered failing not to cry as she embraced Willas right beside the car._

_She’d barely slept a blink the last night she stayed in Highgarden. She’d just watched Willas, stroking his hair and wrapping her arms around his body, until he turned and she became the little spoon. She had tried to commit his face to memory, every eyelash, every mole.It would be weeks before she saw him again.  
_

_Her bags had been packed, and so there was nothing for her to do but hug her new boyfriends for as long as she could. There had been little dignity in how she stretched every minute, only allowing him the bare minimum of time in the bathroom before she accompanied him downstairs for breakfast. She spent another twenty minutes hugging him on the couch after loading her stuff into the car, waiting for Margaery to get ready._

_In the silence of their hug, as they heard Margaery shouting at her mother where certain clothing items were, he admitted he would miss her too. After all, he had been alone for half a decade and had only now been able to build a deep emotional and physical bond with someone new._

_She was miserable on the way home, rubbing away stray tears every once in a while._

_‘It’ll be over in a blink. I swear’, Margaery assured her from the front seat. It was her turn to drive shotgun now._

_‘Yeah, only some… how many exams were it, Sansa?’ Garlan asked._

_‘Three’, she whispered._

_‘Three exams before you see him again. You’ll be busy at least’, Garlan grinned._

_Sansa smiled at Garlan's attempt to cheer her up._

_A cough took her attention away from Garlan and to the passenger seat._

_Margaery was gone. Instead a body in a suit sat on her seat, with a laptop for a face._

_‘Which you’ll fail if you spend your days thinking about boys instead!’ the laptop said._

Sansa shot awake.

Her skin was covered in goose bumps.

‘Everything alright?’

‘Yeah, just a nightmare.’

‘Nothing too bad right?’

‘No’, Sansa said, shaking off the lingering fear. ‘How long have I been asleep?’

The landscape had changed outside, the oaks and tilia trees were replaced with pine trees and large poplars.

‘A good while, we’ll be there in twenty minutes.’

‘Oh wow’, Sansa brought out, stretching.

‘Excited?’

‘Are you ready?’ she asked back.

‘Can you ever be ready?’

‘A good question’, Sansa laughed. She hadn’t been ready for what was about to happen at all when she first arrived at the Tyrell household.

She leant against the window, watching the car wind down familiar streets.

As predicted, the car arrived twenty minutes later.

Sansa swung open the door when she noticed the welcome committee.

‘Mom! Dad!’ 

She ran, colliding with them with intense force, causing them to stumble two steps backwards.

Was it the best covid-safe style of greeting she could have given? No.

But she had isolated herself for two whole weeks and her parents had gotten their two vaccine shots each so damn it, she was going to hug them.

‘Oh sweetheart’, Catelyn Stark’s voice cracked.

Her father rubbed her head fondly once she took a step back.

‘Princess’, Arya greeted her.

‘Trouble’, Sansa said back.

‘Forgetting something?’ Arya asked with a grin.

‘I know where I rank on her list of priorities’, Willas laughed, who had parked the car before hopping out.

Sansa linked her arm with his.

‘Everyone, this is Willas’, Sansa introduced.

‘You’ve all heard about each other before but just for clarity: this is my mother, Catelyn Stark.’

‘Call me Catelyn’, her mother invited.

‘This is my father, Eddard Stark.’

Her father just nodded, the faintest hint of a polite smile on his face.

‘My brother Robb and his girlfriend Jeyne.’

Robb smiled and muttered a ‘how do you do’, but Sansa continued.

‘This meddlesome creature is Arya, who was very excited to meet you, and this is her boyfriend Gendry. Oh yes, do look jealous, she’d love nothing more than spend some time with Willas in private’, Sansa warned Gendry.

‘Hey, don’t twist the story like that’, Arya protested.

‘These are Bran and Rickon and – oh gods, Edmure, you’re here too?’

‘Not only me’, Edmure grinned.

Apparently, he’d stood behind most of the Stark brood, invisible to Sansa. By his side stood a beautiful girl with bronze hair and a sweet smile, a sparkling ring of azure and diamonds around her ring finger.

‘Edmure you? You what!’

‘Well, Roslin found a job and I’ve been offered a postdoc position so I figured why not?’

‘Oh my god. Oh my god!’

‘You’d think she’s never seen an engaged couple before’, Willas joked.

‘Willas Tyrell’, he said, offering his hand.

‘Edmure Tully. And my fiancée, Roslin Frey.’

‘Frey as in – ‘

‘Afraid so’, Roslin smiled, shrugging. ‘But not for long anymore.’

‘Pleased to make your acquaintance’, Willas said with a smile that made the girl blush.

‘Dad and Rickard are upstairs finishing their game of cyvasse. You know old folks, the stairs aren’t easy for them’, Edmure grinned.

‘Poor old people’, Bran dryly noted from his wheelchair. ‘If only there were an elevator.’

‘I was trying to be polite and comfort Sansa. But sure, be a bad brother and break her heart by saying her grandfathers were too busy playing a boardgame to come and greet their granddaughter’, Edmure huffed.

‘It’s much appreciated’, Sansa told Edmure.

Catelyn Stark scraped her throat.

‘So Willas, welcome to Winterfell. We’re glad to finally meet you. Sansa has told us so much about you.’

‘Only good I hope’, he smiled charmingly.

‘We’re glad you could clear your schedule to celebrate easter with us’, Catelyn continued.

‘Nothing would delight me more, Lady Stark. I’ve always wanted to visit Winterfell and Sansa gave the liveliest account of your Easter celebrations, so I’m grateful to be invited.’

‘If you think our Easter celebrations are lively, you should come for Christmas’, Rickon said.

‘I’m glad I can sample the famous Northern climate in spring first, before I attempt a winter holiday’, Willas replied delicately.

‘Southerners’, Edmure laughed.

Willas could have sworn Ned Stark’s eyes danced with humour in response to Edmure’s comment.

‘Alright, alright. One holiday at a time’, Catelyn decided. ‘Dinner will be served in forty minutes. You’re later than expected. Was there traffic?’

‘Some thirty minutes on the ring between Riverland, Northland and the Vale.’

‘Really?’ Sansa whispered.

‘You were asleep’, he replied before turning back to Catelyn.

‘Ah, how unfortunate. Well, nothing to do about it. Arya, will you show Willas his room?’ Catelyn ordered.

‘Of course mommy’, Arya smiled, eyes glittering with amusement.

A fifteen minute walk into the ancient castle and up two sweeping staircases revealed why the middle child was so delighted to show them his room. For it was a full corridor removed from the corridor in which the Stark children had their bedrooms.

Arya cackled when she left behind the two blushing twentiers.

‘So uhm… the room is lovely’, Willas said, putting down his duffel bag.

‘Winterfell really is older than Highgarden.’

Sansa nodded, taking in the old fireplace with tiles of Winter scenes around it, the tiny panned windows and heavy woodwork. At least they had plastered the walls in the bedrooms and furnished them with pale wallpapers so the bedrooms no longer looked like dark prisoner cells. 

‘So your mother thinks we’re not…’

Sansa sat down on the bed.

‘I think she’s politely ignoring it’, Sansa said. ‘And please, let’s keep it that way.’

‘If we were to marry would she still give us separate bedrooms?’ Willas teased, leaning against the fireplace.

‘Oh hush!’ Sansa laughed. ‘You’re awful.’

‘Awful is me having to sleep in a big cold bed after driving for over twelve hours.’

‘The walls are heated. It’s never cold in Winterfell.’

‘Cold without you.’

‘You sop’, Sansa teased.

Willas pushed himself away from the fireplace and walked towards her.

‘You mock me for wanting to sleep with my girlfriend? Bit rich, isn’t it, coming from a girl who cries when I need to go to the Reach for business for a couple of days?’

‘But then I don’t see you at all’, she pouted.

Willas sat down on the bed beside her.

‘And now I want to make the most of the time we do have together. Holidays are generally great times for us, aren’t they?’ he grinned.

Sansa laughed. But it was true. Birthdays, winter holidays and summer holidays were always the moments they had bumped into each other and deepened their fondness for each other. Although neither could have predicted just how much that fondness would grow last December.

She wanted to give him a little shove, but he grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips. He kissed it slowly.

‘Tell me, just how thick are these walls?’

‘Willas!’

‘They must be quite thick, old stones aren’t thin. Especially if there’s space for water to course between them’, he reasoned.

‘Dinner is in twenty minutes.’

‘Hm. Well, we better get started then, don’t we?’

‘What? But –‘

He pressed his lips against hers, igniting the fire within her belly.

Hot hands traced up her legs and crawled under her shirt, cupping her breasts.

‘It’s a ten minute walk to the dining room.’

‘Oh, I only mean to get you started. To make sure you will come find my room tonight.’

Sansa gasped as his hands moved again.

‘In the songs, it’s the knights stealing into the lady’s room’, Sansa brought up.

‘But isn’t it tradition for us that you come to me? I heard the North cares so much about customs and traditions.’

‘If you want a Northern custom, how about stealing a woman from her bed to show yourself worthy of marrying her?’

‘Well, if I manage to convince her to get out of her bed and come to me do I not prove how worthy and convincing I am?’ he asked.

‘You arrogant fox. I shouldn’t come to you at all, perhaps it would humble you.’

‘If you manage to humble a Tyrell, my mother and grandmother would fall to your feet and worship you. Which isn’t good, given the poor state of their knees.’

Sansa laughed into his kiss.

Laughing always came so easy to her now.

‘Come on, Lord Tyrell. You don’t want to ruin your great first impression by being tardy.’

‘Oh no. I still need their good opinion.’

‘Whatever for?’

‘You’ll see. In a year or two’, Willas said, closing the door behind them.

‘Ready to be thrown at the wolves?’ Sansa teased as they walked down the hallway, hand in hand.

‘I have a feeling your family isn’t like mine. You were always welcomed with open arms.’

‘Oh, they are perfectly alike in warmth, but newcomers need to prepare for teasing and interrogations before they get rewarded with warmth.’

Willas nodded.

‘Doesn’t me being the heir to Highgarden do a thing in my favour?’

‘Tone the arrogance down, that will do a thing in your favour.’

It was a marvellous thing to behold, how her boyfriend’s confidence and pride had grown over the past few months as he’d grown more comfortable in his skin. Sansa took great joy in his arrogant and vain jokes, but she knew her mother had no experience with the Tyrells and would not understand their strand of humour.

‘In that case I will just talk about how amazing my girlfriend is, that she is too good for me, and how grateful I am to have her’, Willas smiled.

‘Careful, if you do that, my mother might actually beg you to marry me.’

‘You say that like it’s a bad thing.’

‘It’s perhaps a bit soon.’

‘Like my mother and grandmother aren’t only waiting until enough time has passed to beg me the exact same thing.’

Sansa laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear. Sometimes the support baffled and overwhelmed her. But how different it was, all these people having confidence in their relationship and supporting her, from her last relationships. No one insulted her, no one belittled her and no one questioned her intelligence. Every day, the mean voices in her head, which she only now realized were not her voice but those of the Lannisters, grew more silent.

‘We have time, I’m sure they’re preoccupied with the two weddings that are already happening.’

‘Indeed. We need to spread them. So they have something to look forward to.’

‘I’m of the conviction that I have something to look forward to every day, with or without a wedding.’

‘Now who’s the sop?’ Willas asked.

‘Ah, but I never pretended to be anything but a romantic.’

Arya came out of the dining room, spotting the couple holding hands and lost in each other’s eyes at the bottom of the staircase, big smiles on their faces.

She rolled her eyes. Young love.

‘Hey you two! Food’s getting cold!’

They turned around, one blushing and the other smiling confidently.

‘Right, let’s go then’, Willas decided.

**_Fin_**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 25 chapters is quite a nice number I think, as December 25th is Christmas Day. I also found it funny to end with a dream of spring, given that's destined to be the last asoiaf book.  
> I want to thank everyone for reading and leaving comments, they were such a joy to me. This fic started out of my own desire for a Christmas with my entire family, but I discovered I was not alone in seeking out a normal Christmas in fanfiction as so many of you were also separated from friends and family the past holidays. I learned a thing or two about local Christmas traditions, and I unexpectedly learned a whole lot about the physical and mental challenges and realities of amputees (a big thanks to everyone who provided additional information and experiences in their comments, it was so interesting to learn).  
> I never expected this fic to get as big as it finally became but I’m really happy with how it turned out (even though I burned through my conflicts a lot sooner than was ideal lol).  
> To Sansa/Willas shippers out there: I have another fic on Sansa/Willas “Bastards and Broken Things” in which Sansa makes it out of the Vale as Alayne Stone and goes to Highgarden.  
> If you’re interested in other rare pairs of aSoIaF. I have a modern Edmure/Roslin AU with a drunk Robb as a plot device. I also have a Alys/Sigorn modern AU in which Alys is an exchange student beyond the wall. And I have a more sad toned Beric Dondarrion/ Jeyne Poole fic that takes place around 300 AC.  
> If you’re an Austen fan I got some of those as well.  
> Anyway, lots of love.  
> Stay safe, stay healthy… and if that failed: I wish you a speedy recovery with no long-term problems!


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